When The Clock Got Sick

By Phil Shapiro

one.gif (80 bytes)

Once upon a time, in a land not too far from where you live, there was a bank whose outside clock was the talk of the town. Clocks usually don't cause people to talk about them, unless they're not working right. This clock wasn't working right at all.

The clock was a digital clock, meaning that it was the kind of clock with large neon red numbers that glowed both day and night. You could read the clock from an entire block away.

The clock sat prominently a few yards above the main doors to a respected bank, right on the corner of a major intersection in town. In some ways, the clock represented the very center of town.

One day, a few months ago, the time on the clock started slipping backwards a few minutes. At first this didn't cause any alarm. After all, if you are two minutes late, or two minutes early to an appointment, is there any harm done?

But then the clock's health got even worse. Not only did the clock slip back more than a few minutes, sometimes it would actually jump forward an hour or two, and then jump back to being a few minutes late. It was clear to everyone in town that this was a sick clock.

What do you do with a sick clock, though? Take it the clockerenarian? Take it a clockpital? Visit a clocktor?

You're right. Healing a sick clock is not an easy thing to do. First you need to find what's wrong with the clock, and then you need to find a place that sells the particular part that needs replacing.

The bank, being a respected bank, was eager to get the clock fixed and working again. The bank became even more eager after last month's birthday party.

You see, a young child on the way to a birthday party burst into tears when he looked up at the clock and realized that he was going to be late. On that day, the clock was running about two hours fast, and the child was in perfect time for the party. The child just thought he was late, because who would ever doubt the time on a public clock?

And then there was the whole wedding fiasco last week. A groom, on the way to his wedding ceremony, noticed that he was two hours early, so he stopped off at the cybercafe to do some web surfing. When he showed up to the ceremony two hours late, the bride and everyone else were not overjoyed to see him.

The straw that broke the camel's back, though, was last week when an army major was traveling through town. Being an army major, he would regularly adjust his wristwatch to make sure it was perfectly on time. When he saw the clock above the bank, he immediately reset his watch three hours ahead of time. And the next morning he woke his troops at 3 AM to do their regular 6 AM ten-mile morning run.

The troops were not amused. And so they stopped by to pay a friendly visit to the bank manager. "Please, please, please repair the clock above the door of your bank," they spoke in military unison. "Each one of us would like to chip in $20 to repair the clock," they added.

The bank manager, a kindly young woman, promised that she would do whatever she could to find a part to repair the clock. She would even take the clock to a clockerenarian, if need be. And she had not ruled out the possibility of driving the clock straight to the clockpital, herself. Her own doctor had recommended some skilled clocktors that she could use when she received the replacement part.

Until the clock was repaired, though, she decided to switch off its electricity. For three weeks the lights on the clock were entirely dark. And then one day a UPS truck drove up the bank with a very small package. Inside that very small package was a very small part that made the clock healthy again.

The town sighed a huge sigh of relief when the clock was switched on again. And then everyone reset their watches and went on their merry way.

Ellen The Eagle Needs Glasses

By Phil Shapiro

*one.gif (80 bytes) Ellen the eagle first suspected that she needed glasses the day that she swooped down out of the sky and grabbed a small lawn chair to carry back to her hungry children. When she arrived back at her nest, perched high atop a cliff, her oldest son said, somewhat sarcastically, "Great. Another lawn chair for breakfast. Just what we need."

Her husband, Ed, was more forgiving. He gently picked up the lawn chair with his beak and moved it over to the flat, back section of the nest. Then he sat down in the lawn chair, folded his wings comfortably behind his head, and lay back.

"Honey, you might want to go and have your eyes checked one of these days," Ed said. "It's easy enough to do, and only costs a mouse or two."

"I've been meaning to get my eyes checked," replied Ellen, "but you know how it is. Every day it just seems that there are new mice to catch, new things to do for the nest, and new nature shows to be in."

"True, the nature shows do put the dead mice on the table, but they take away from the hunting and stalking I really like to do."

"I'll put it on my calendar as something to do next week. Although, I've got to say, I would feel a little self-conscious wearing glasses out in public. What would the other eagles say?"

"Honey, what other eagles think doesn't matter at all. It's more important that your eyesight be sharp and in focus. Anyway, these days they can fit you with contact lens that you hardly notice are even there."

Ellen sighed. Maybe it was time for her to get her eyes checked. Could she really afford to keep bringing back lawn chairs for her hungry children?

So the next day she flew over to the eagle optometrist to have her eyes checked. The optometrist sat her down in a comfortable chair and asked her to identify the small animals on the tiny chart two miles away. "Mouse, chipmunk, gopher, squirrel, rabbit," she said, trying to sound confident. "It was difficult telling the difference between a mouse and a chipmunk. The shapes of these two animals were so similar."

"Okay, you did well on that line of animals," said the optometrist. "Now see if you can read the animals on the line below it."

Ellen concentrated all her mental powers on trying to see what the animals were on the next line. She could barely make out what the small animals were, so she made her best guess, "Hippo, elephant, giraffe, and rhinoceros," she said in a voice that lacked confidence.

"I'm sorry, but you missed a few animals on that line. Your eyesight is far below the normal 2000/2000 eyesight of regular eagles. I'm going to recommend you get glasses or contact lens."

"Can you tell me more about the contact lens?" inquired Ellen.

"These days they have contact lens that are far more comfortable and far less bother than they were in the past," the optometrist explained. "And we happen to have a sale on them this week."

"For three dead mice you can walk away with a pair of contact lens you can be proud of."

"Three dead mice?" declared Ellen in a surprised voice. "I thought you could buy a decent pair of contact lens for two dead mice."

"Well, it is true you could buy contact lens at other stores for two dead mice," replied the optometrist, "but they are inferior quality contact lens. If you bought the cheaper contact lens, you might not be able to read the numbers on a license plate that was two miles away."

Ellen shuddered at the thought. Not being able to read the numbers on a license plate two miles away was a sure sign that an eagle's eyesight was fading.

"I'll take the three dead mice contact lens," she said quickly. As she flew out of the store she said to herself, "So it costs me an extra dead mouse. What's an extra dead mouse when you need to buy something to help your eyesight?"

Her husband Ed leaped out of the lawn chair when she landed on the nest. "Honey, you're back so soon. Did you get a new pair of glasses or contacts?"

"Sure did," Ellen replied with a renewed confidence in her voice. She hopped over to the back of the nest and casually nudged the lawn chair over the edge of the nest.

"No more lawn chairs in this nest," she announced smugly. "Only dead mice, rabbits, and fish are going to show up here in the future."

"Honey, I was just getting used to the lawn chair when you nudged it over the side of the nest. Do you think you could find me another lawn chair sometime?"

"No more lawn chairs in this nest, ever," said Ellen. "Okay, Ed, it's time we flew off to find something for the kids to eat for dinner. There's no use in just sitting around in lawn chairs all day."

Phil Shapiro Copyright 2000 All Rights Reserved

*one.gif (80 bytes)

The End

The Great Ping Pong Ball Experiment

By Phil Shapiro

*one.gif (80 bytes)

The Nile river is the longest river in the world. It starts out in Lake Victoria, in the middle of Africa, and flows nearly four thousand (4,000) miles north to the Mediterranean Sea.

Lake Victoria, where the Nile starts, is the second largest fresh-water lake in the world. The only lake that is larger is Lake Superior, in between Canada and the United States.

Now nobody knows for sure who first suggested the great ping pong ball experiment. It might have been dreamed up by some absent-minded, daydreaming inventor. Or, it could have been thought up by some great scientist. Or, it might have been thought up by a little kindergartener in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

But the important thing is that somebody thought of it. And before long, people all over the world were talking about it. The newspapers printed stories about it. Television stations did special feature stories on it. And, everyone, just everyone, expected that the great ping pong ball experiment would happen right on time.

What exactly was the great ping pong ball experiment anyway? How was the experiment to be performed, and what was it supposed to show?

The great ping pong ball experiment took place to show just one thing. The purpose of the experiment was to show that a small, frail ping pong ball could travel four thousand miles down the longest river in the world.

The experiment would end when the ping pong ball reached the capital city of Egypt, Cairo. At that time, a kindergarten student from one of the schools in Cairo would reach down into the Nile, and pick up the ping pong ball that had been thrown into the river way back at Lake Victoria.

Two months. That's how long the ping pong ball would have to travel from Lake Victoria to Cairo. To add some zest and excitement to the experiment, the ping pong ball was to be thown into the top of the Nile River on November 1, 1999. The entire world would then watch to see if the ball could travel the length of the Nile before midnight, December 31, 1999.

But the journey would be a dangerous one for a small, frail ping pong ball to travel. The ball would have to survive at least nine large waterfalls. It would have to survive being thrown against rocks and boulders. It would have to survive getting stuck in the papyrus reeds by the side of the river. And most importantly, it would have to survive getting swallowed by any hungry fish along the way.

People would follow it all along its long journey. Scientists would follow it by driving along roads that travelled parallel to the Nile river. They would keep careful track of how far the ball had travelled each day. Sometimes they would even circle over the ping pong ball in a helicopter, making sure that the ball was safely travelling downstream.

Once a week people all over the globe would turn on their televisions to see how far the ping pong ball had travelled in the past week. The television studios would have a large map of Africa on the wall, with an arrow pointing to where the ping ball was on that particular day.

It would be an elegantly simple experiment for the people of planet Earth to perform. For two months, the attention of the world would be focussed on what was happening to a ping pong ball travelling down the Nile river.

The outcome of the great ping pong ball experiment would not change the lives of many persons living on this planet. But perhaps, just perhaps, the experiment itself would help people realize that in some ways the planet Earth is just a small, frail ping pong ball traveling through space.

Driving on Ice

By Phil Shapiro

one.gif (80 bytes)

In many northern states the winters are so cold that the lakes freeze right over. In Minnesota, Michigan, and Maine, the ice in these lakes can freeze two to three feet deep.

When the ice is that thick it becomes possible to actually drive a car or truck across the ice. While driving on ice sounds like something that people would do just for fun, a lot of people drive across frozen lakes for very practical reasons.

For example, there are people who live year-round on islands within these northern lakes. In the middle of winter the only practical way of traveling to the mainland is by driving across the frozen lakes.

Actually, when the lake is frozen two to three feet deep, this is a perfect opportunity for people living on islands to transport large objects onto or off the islands. Say, for instance, you owned a cabin on a small island in the middle of a lake in Michigan. Suppose you decided that you wanted to build an extra room onto the cabin.

Transporting all the building materials onto the island using a boat would take a lot of work and expense. But if you waited until winter, you could easily drive all the building materials across the lake.

How can you tell if a lake is frozen solid enough to drive on? The surest way to know is to wait until several other cars and trucks have safely driven across the ice. Even then, you should always be extra careful when driving across a frozen lake.

It's possible that one section of the lake has currents that prevent the lake from freezing solid. Or there might be a river or stream that brings slightly warmer water into one part of the lake. So even though most of the lake was frozen solid, one section of the lake could have thin ice.

Usually it takes at least two to three weeks of very cold weather before deep ice is formed on a lake. Here in the northern United States, deep ice doesn't form until mid-January, at the earliest. (In northern Canada and Alaska lakes sometimes freeze solid as early as November or December.)

Do the tires of cars slip when they drive across ice? Yes, sometimes they do. But almost every car and truck that drives on ice has snow tires, which creates extra friction between the tires and the ice. Some people also choose to put chains on their tires, which gives the tires an even stronger grip against the ice.

After a few cars have driven across a particular path on a lake the ice actually becomes a sort of road. If you walked up to such a road and did not know that the road was traveling over a lake, you might never suspect that the cars and trucks are actually driving across solid ice.

Copyright © 2000 Phil Shapiro

one.gif (80 bytes)

The End

The Spirit

one.gif (80 bytes)

By Idris O'Neill

canada.gif (979 bytes)

Age: 60

one.gif (80 bytes)

one.gif (80 bytes)

one.gif (80 bytes) The Wee One, sat in her thinking place, puzzling. The purple hyacinths grew behind the moss covered rock she sat upon. She was wondering if what she wanted to do was the right thing. The longer she sat in her thinking spot, the more she believed her idea was a good one. With her mind made up to do something she had never done before, the tiny fae took flight on golden wings.

The fae flitted high into the air over the giant oaks and beyond the meadow. She fluttered down on the shore of the Sparkling Lake. The Wee One walked from one stone to another, towards a very large rock. It stood above the others, like a beacon. She hesitated for a moment before whispering to the stone. Suddenly it appeared to rise a little into the air.

The Wee One walked under the stone. A golden box sat beneath it. Quickly she lifted the lid of the box. A Spirit filled the tiny crystal box the fae now held in her hand. As the fae walked out from under the great stone, it settled down once again. Without a moment's hesitation she took to the air. The fae flitted to her home in the ancient oak, the crystal box now safely in her pocket.

Once home, the Wee One set the box on her mushroom table. The fireflies gathered overhead. The crystal box glittered like diamonds. With trembling hands the Wee One opened the box. Suddenly, before her stood a beautiful Spirit. "Will you help me?" The Wee One pleaded. The Spirit did not so much speak, as it thought. The Wee One knew, the Spirit would help her.

"We shall begin our journey now," the spirit thought. *poof* In a twinkling, both the Spirit and the Wee One were transported to a city, in the Land of Real.

The Wee One was not prepared for what she saw when they materialized. It was a place that had things called buildings. Some of the buildings were as tall as the Magic Mountain. The air smelled odd and tasted funny. There was not a tree or flower to be seen. "I am frightened," the fae whispered to the Spirit. "Is this where the children come from?"

"Yes," the Spirit replied. The Wee One shivered a bit, but the Spirit thought, "It will be okay, I'm with you." "Now quickly before it gets light open your pouch and do what you have come to do."

The Wee One reached deep into her pouch and gathered a handful of faerie dust. With the Spirit by her side, she sprinkled the magic dust everywhere. When they had finished the Spirit thought again. "You have done well wee fae, for a first effort; now watch!" Quietly, a gentle rain began to fall. The Spirit smiled, for the sprinkles began to grow flowers and trees everywhere they settled.

As the sun began to rise the city was ablaze with the color of beautiful flowers, twining green vines and stately trees. From far beyond the city a rainbow appeared and held the city in its arc. The Spirit thought. "It will make them happy wee fae, it truly will." In a twinkle the Wee One and the Spirit sat together on a spire overlooking the city. They watched, as the children, the young and the old came out of their houses. All looked about them with smiles and wonder. The city was now bursting with the beauty of flowers and the songs of birds in the young trees.

"It is time to go now," the Spirit thought. The Wee One nodded her head. *poof* In a twinkle the two friends were back on the shore of the Sparkling Lake. The Spirit returned to the golden box beneath the magic rock. The Wee One sighed to see the Spirit go, but she knew the Spirit would always be present for those in need of her.

In a whisper the Wee One said, "thank you for helping me... Hope."

story129.gif (19609 bytes)

To see another story about The Wee One CLICK HERE.

Copyright © Idris O'Neill

one.gif (80 bytes)

The End

Pinky Peekins was a normal boy until he was abducted by kangaroos. Now he had magical powers and today's adventure is:

one.gif (80 bytes)

"The Roller Coaster of Cheese Part 1"

*one.gif (80 bytes)

One bright Saturday morning Pinky Peekins and his friend, Kyle Kookoo, were walking to the new amusement park called "Dairy Disaster"."This place sounds bogus," said Kyle licking his sherbet ice-cream.

"Michelle Whinnie told me they have a cool roller coaster called "Cheese"." smiled Pinky finishing his chocolate sundae.

"Well, what are we waiting for, let's ride it," hoorayed Kyle dropping his ice-cream. They ambled through the milk gate and passed by a weird looking man with a cow hat.

"That guy really gives me a weird feeling," proclaimed Pinky.

"I don't think it's him whose giving you that feeling, I think it's that sundae running down your shirt," said Kyle. As soon as Kyle finished Pinky dropped the sundae in anger.

"Let's just get on the roller coaster," said Pinky using a napkin to wipe off the chocolate. They threw their garbage away then went to the giant roller coaster.

"I wonder why they call it Cheese?" asked Pinky. Kyle scratched his green hair." It's a Dairy thing, cheese is meat so they put it as a joke ride," smiled Kyle. Pinky rolled his eyes. "Cheese is dairy," said Pinky in the nicest way he could.

"I knew that," smiled Kyle. They dropped the subject and went to the line. Once it was their turn they entered the two seated carts and they were off to a cheesy doom.

They went up a white rail. "They tried to make it look like mozzarella," explained Pinky. Halfway through the ride was boring cause the title cheese wasn't good for the ride. "This ride should be called "Lamo", yawned Kyle. Then suddenly they fell out of the roller coaster. They thought it was over for them until they landed on some soft cheese.

*one.gif (80 bytes)

What Will Happen to Kyle and Pinky? Will they be stuck in Cheese forever? Find out in the next story of "The Adventures of Pinky the Magic Boy."

The End

The Rabbit...

By Ghost

*one.gif (80 bytes)

One day Rabbit was taking a walk through the jungle and ran into Elephant, who was making a fine meal of the treetops. "Hello, brother," said Rabbit. "Fine day, isn't it?" Elephant paused to look down at the tiny little creature at his feet and snorted. "Leave me be, Rabbit. I don't have the time to waste on someone so small."

Rabbit was shocked to be talked to in such a manner. He wasn't sure what to do so he left quietly to go and think about what had happened. As he walked along, he spied mighty Whale far out to sea and decided to ask her what she thought about Elephant's rudeness. He cupped his tiny paws and yelled as loud as he could, "Whaaaaale!! Come heeeeere!!"

Whale swam over to see who was calling her and looked about. After a few minutes she spied tiny little Rabbit jumping up and down on a cliff. "Rabbit," Whale said impatiently, "Did you just call me over here?" "Of course," said Rabbit. "Just who do you think you are? You are far too small and weak to have anything to say to me." And at that she turned, flipped her huge tail, and set off back into the deep ocean. But just then Rabbit had an idea.

He called out to her one more time, "Whale! You think that I am weak, but in fact, I am stronger than you! You wouldn't be so quick to ignore me if I beat you at Tug-of-War." Whale looked at him for a moment before falling into a fit of laughter. "Very well little one," said Whale. "Go get a rope and we will see who is stronger."

Rabbit ran off to gather up the strongest and thickest vine he could. When he found it, he went to Elephant and said to the giant animal, "Elephant, you had no cause to treat me with such discourtesy this afternoon. I shall have to prove to you that we are equals. Elephant looked down between chews and chuckled. "And how will you do that, small one?" Rabbit stood up as high as he could, looked Elephant right in the eye and said, "By beating you at a game of Tug-of-War." Elephant laughed so hard he nearly choked on his leaves, but agreed to humor the tiny animal. He tied the vine around his huge, hefty waist, snickering the whole time.

Rabbit took the other end and started off into the jungle. He called back to Elephant, "Wait until I say 'pull' and then pull with all of your might." Rabbit took the other end of the rope to Whale and said, "Tie this to your tail and when I say 'pull' you swim with all of your might." Whale tied the vine to her tail, all the while smirking at Rabbit's foolishness.

"I will now go and tie the other end to my own waist," said Rabbit, and hopped off into the jungle. Rabbit hid in the bushes and then called out, at the top of his lungs, "PULL!!" Elephant started to walk away with a smile on his face, but the smile soon turned to a look of surprise when the vine stopped following him. "My goodness," he said to himself, "Rabbit is much stronger than I expected!" The look of surprise soon became a frown as Elephant pulled harder and harder, unable to make the tough vine budge any further.

Meanwhile, Whale began to swim away from the shore, but almost lost her breath when the vine pulled tight and refused to come with her. She pulled harder and harder, but she could not pull it any further. "That little Rabbit could not possibly be stronger than me," she said in outrage. Soon the vine could take no more strain and, with an ear-splitting sound, snapped into two pieces.

When this happened, poor Elephant went sailing through the jungle and tumbled head over heels down a steep valley. The end that was tied to Whale caught up to her suddenly and she went sailing through the ocean and smashed into a very scratchy and very uncomfortable coral reef.

Rabbit left without a word and never mentioned the matter again. Elephant and Whale were completely confused and never did figure out how such a tiny creature as Rabbit could have beaten the largest of the animals. And to this day, they are very careful to greet little Rabbit with great respect whenever they meet.

*one.gif (80 bytes)

The End