Hiccup marched up to his old mentor, still gripping Adrianna's hand in his. He didn't notice as most of his people stepped far away from him when he came close. He didn't see the fearful looks or the cautious glances.

"Gobber." Hiccup stopped beside the older man abruptly, also failing to notice the dust swirling around their ankles. Gobber turned with an eyebrow raised. "Watch Addie for me."

"Hiccup-"

"I'll be back s-"

"Would ya shut up and listen to me for a moment?" Gobber interrupted, making Hiccup huff. He didn't want to listen to anyone aside from Astrid. "Don't be too hard on her."

Hiccup blinked, sure he heard wrong. Gobber blinked back, looked quite serious.

Hiccup chuckled humorlessly. "You're serious?" The smile was replaced by a small amount of the anger roiling within him. "You want me to just let this go?"

"I am not condoning what Astrid did but," Gobber looked down at Adrianna and shortly continued, "I will say this whether she hears me or not, Anna was not acting proper. Not at all."

"So that's a proper excuse to be slapped?"

"Well when your seven year old daughter makes snide comments about her parents marriage, I think it's understandable. Anna has no place to say anything about such things." Gobber sighed, looking back up at Hiccup. "Astrid lost control for but a moment, Hiccup. But if you're going to yell at her, your daughter deserves a lecture as well."

"Seems you've already covered that," Hiccup snipped. "Would you like to lecture Astrid for me too?"

"You weren't planning on even talking to your daughter, Hiccup! I am not so blind as to not notice the favoritism you constantly display. If you won't teach Anna to stop acting like a brat around your wife, then do not get bent out or shape when others step in."

Hiccup's arms shook with fury and people didn't fail to notice the shade of red his face had acquired. They backed away but Gobbet stood firm. Countless years of being close friends with the Haddocks gave him near immunity to their outraged anger.

Hiccup's lips finally parted. "Don't make me ask someone else to watch Addie."

"If I didn't want to protect her from this oncoming explosion, I wouldn't accept." Gobber seethed back. Then he lowered his voice so only Hiccup heard him. "Both of you are doing this to yourselves. It's not our fault, not your kids fault-"

"Take her or move."

Gobber swallowed and stuck his hand out to Adrianna. She continued to stare up at Hiccup with wide, fearful eyes. Gobber noticed her fingers were turning a dark shade of red due to Hiccup squeezing her hand so hard. In his anger he didn't even notice and, always selfless when her father was concerned, the girl didn't complain.

The small blonde steadily let go of her father's hand, gently massaging her fingers before holding Gobber's hand.

Hiccup turned on his heel and stalked toward the bridge leading home. "I will be back at dusk."

Gobber and Adrianna watched him go while everyone else avoided any contact with their temperamental chief. The older folk remembered Stoick's anger issues but never was Stoick this angry this often. It was very disconcerting, to say the least.

Gobber stepped forward into the square when he was sure Hiccup was out of earshot. "All of you to your homes. This confrontation ain't gonna be good and I have a feeling we are all going to end up hearing it if we stay outdoors." Adrianna looked up at him with wide eyes. People scurried to their homes without further question. Gobber sighed heavily and pulled Adrianna toward his home. "Come on, little lady. Let's get a cold cloth on that cheek."

Xxx

Toothless knew something was up.

His rider hadn't been as aloof with him as he had been with his wife and son but there was still a sort of disconnect between them that wasn't there mere months earlier. The Night Fury had suspected that something was wrong ever since his human had killed the one who threatened to rip apart his family. A sort of darkness in his eyes that none but he could see. And perhaps the girl. That may have been why his rider and the female young were nearly inseparable ever since.

But over the last month or so, since just after the twins' seventh birthday, Toothless' human had taken a turn for the worse. He had a tendency to lash out at people, his wife included. Toothless wasn't as familiar with the female human with whom his own human was so enamored but he could see the pain in her eyes. Pain she masked by lashing back at him. He and Stormfly began to feel like they were on opposite sides of a fierce war brewing within their riders' house. And the young were the innocents thrown into the mix by no fault of their own. Wishing they could speak the human language of which they knew so little, he and Stormfly did their best to remind their humans of their vows taken just under eight years ago.

Not having young of his own, Toothless had, in some ways, learned how to be a father alongside his human. He still hadn't forgotten the day the young had escaped their playpen and the female had wandered into a forgotten netter trap. She had been perfectly fine, of course, as had the male (who, for some reason, returned to the house completely devoid of his removable skin) but it was enough to make him protective of the little humans. Like dragon young, they were innocent and needed to be shielded from some of the worst things life had to offer.

But dragons have a sixth sense about oncoming storms and, though the evening was a clear one, Toothless knew a storm was brewing. His human had emerged from the Great Hall, his hand gripping the female young's and trembling in rage. With a soft coo, Toothless followed his human into the square where there had been a verbal confrontation of some sort (he cursed his inability to completely decipher what humans were saying in that confusing language). The large man missing two limbs had taken the female young and now his human was stomping toward the house.

He ran alongside the enraged human, attempting to nudge him with his head in a reassuring way. His rider completely ignored him. His green eyes were flashing, almost glowing in the light of the slowly setting sun. Toothless had seen him angry before but never like this.

When they finally arrived at the Haddock house, Toothless trotted in front of his human and blocked his path.

"Move." Hiccup said, putting out a hand and attempting the shove the dragon to the side.

Toothless narrowed his eyes at the human. He wasn't going to let him past until he had calmed down a bit. The human seethed.

"I said move. I don't' have time to go flying, bud." Hiccup tried to move past his dragon but the Night Fury stood firm. "What? What do you want?" Toothless snorted and blinked a few times. "I'm not going to calm down. Astrid hit my daughter!" The dragon narrowed his eyes at the human. "Look, it doesn't matter if Addie said something she shouldn't have said! Astrid went way over the line!"

Toothless sighed deeply. Sometimes his human could be as stubborn as a mule. Not that it wasn't a trait they shared, in fact it was one of the things that brought them closer over the years, but when they were on the opposite side, it could be a bit of a clash of wills. Toothless was determined to make sure his human didn't do anything he would regret.

"If I have to fight you to get into my house, I will. I said move, Toothless. That's an order." Hiccup growled, meeting his dragon's fierce gaze.

Toothless defiantly sat down in front of the door. He continued to glare at the human, trying so very hard to convey exactly what he wanted to say. Which was basically to stop being such an idiot and to calm down. But, as usual, the human seemed determined to make a fool of himself.

"Fine!" Hiccup shouted after several attempts to push past his dragon. "Fine. I'll calm down. If that's what you want."

Toothless cooed contentedly and took a deep breath, hoping his human would take the lead. He did. After several deep breaths, his rider looked almost happy. Satisfied that he had done his job, Toothless stepped away from the front door to allow his human access. He thought a nap in the pen was probably a good idea. He and Stormfly needed to stick together as much as possible.

What Toothless hadn't considered was that Hiccup had been pretending to be calm for quite a long time. After enough practice, he could fake it with ease. Smirking triumphantly at his dragon, he stepped forward and pushed open the door.

Xxx

Astrid sat on the couch, her head in her hands and her heart pounding in her ears. She heard the door creak open. She was expecting a shout but was met with silence. It was completely unnerving. There were sounds coming from the doorway, indicating that her husband was hanging up his vest or doing something else to delay the inevitable blowup.

After a few seconds, it appeared that he couldn't distract himself with any pointless task any longer. She heard the clunk of his prosthetic hit the ground several times and could feel him looming over her.

"Addie says you hit her."

She couldn't move. Her head felt too heavy to rise from her shoulders and out of her hands.

"Did you not hear me?" Hiccup's voice, though quiet, was rather dangerous.

"I heard you." she muttered into her hands.

"So did you?"

Why was he asking this? Didn't he believe the testimony of the only member of his family he didn't despise? There was a pause and Astrid realized that he expected an answer.

"Yes."

She glanced upward and watched her husband walk to the other side of the room, his hands in his hair. "What... why would you do that?" he nearly implored, his breaths deepening as though he was willing himself not to run over and strangle her right then and there.

"It was a mistake." she said tersely through pursed lips.

"Yeah. It was." Hiccup replied, turning his face away even more.

"I shouldn't have... but she was being... she's such a brat sometimes." The excuses were pathetic but she had nothing else to offer.

"So you think it's okay to just hit her?" Hiccup leaned against the kitchen table, gripping it with both of his hands.

"We punish her all the time."

"Yes!" Hiccup shouted, whipping his head around at last and glaring at her. "And we tell her why! We don't just go hitting her whenever we feel like it!"

"It was instinctual, Hiccup, you didn't hear what she said!" Astrid's voice rose in volume as a glimmer of anger began to rise within her. "I didn't go in with the intention of hitting her!"

"You hit our daughter! Does that mean nothing to you?"

"I'm sorry!" Astrid stood up and faced her husband. "I tried to apologize but she just ran to you. It's what she always does! How can I even begin to build a relationship with my daughter if she won't even let me apologize?"

"Why would she want to?" Hiccup snapped, his knuckles turning white as he continued to grip the table. "You rag on her daily and then you slap her!"

"I was just trying to step up and teach her to read!" Astrid took a step closer to her husband, who flinched.

"By yelling at her? By forcing her to sit in front of your word lists until she sounds every single word out?" Hiccup turned away, apparently unable to look at her any longer. "I talked to her on the way to Gobber's. She says you grabbed her and when she wouldn't sit down, you slapped her!"

"She was talking back! Yelling at me!" Astrid shouted, now balling her fists.

"No, no, it's more than that!" Hiccup bellowed, his hands letting go of the table and propelling him forward so he stood up straight. "You are obsessed with making sure everyone is as perfect as you are! Well guess what, Astrid! She isn't like you! If you want a perfect child, stick with Finn!"

"I know she's not like me, Hiccup! If she was, she'd have toughened up by now!"Astrid threw her hands up in disgust.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hiccup leaned in so that they were uncomfortably close.

"Oh, figure it out!"

Hiccup huffed in her face. "So you're saying she's weak and small and useless, just like I was then? Is that it? Sorry if I don't just throw a weapon in her hands every time she is hurting from being abused! I'm sorry if I love my daughter more than that. The suck it up and deal with it mindset will not work on Addie. It won't! The sooner you learn that the better!"

"It worked just fine on Finn!"

Hiccup slapped a hand to his forehead. "Oh yeah, because they're exactly the same person! Silly me for forgetting that!"

Astrid gritted her teeth, tightening her fingers between the spikes of her armored skirt. "Don't you talk to me like that! I am your wife, a little respect would suffice!"

Hiccup snickered arrogantly. "Because you are so respectful!"

"This isn't about me!"

"You hit our daughter! Apparently it is all about you! You can't have your way with her so you resort to...to abuse!"

"It is not all about me, and I do not! If you want to talk abuse, let's talk emotional abuse! If she had set the boars through the village, you would have hardly batted an eye! But Finn did it and you nearly strangled him for it!"

"He's the next chief!"

"He's only seven!"

"So is Addie!"

"She is old enough that she doesn't need your incessant babying anymore! You treat her like she can do no wrong just because she was missing for a couple of days and-"

Hiccup's heart nearly stopped and he took a step back. "Missing... missing for a couple of..." He stopped, nearly choking on the words. "No. I'm not... no." He held up a hand and smiled sweetly at her like she was a child. "Maybe you hit your head sometime recently and have forgotten; let me refresh your memory. She was taken by a madwoman who left threatening notes, who beat her, who almost killed her?" Hiccup waved a few fingers in her face. "Ringing any bells?"

Astrid flicked his hand away, face pink in anger from being treated so flippantly. "Addie was three years old! I hate that it happened but it did and now it's time to move on!"

"Don't you call her that!" Hiccup sneered.

Astrid tossed her head both in irritation and to clear her vision of her bangs. "Oh really? Why not? She's my daughter too! I'll call her whatever I want!"

"Just so you can slap her all you want too, apparently?"

Sick of him bringing up her error that she was truly sorry for, Astrid raised a hand to slap him. Hiccup saw the action coming long before she moved, almost waiting patiently for it. He grabbed her wrist, fingers tight against her flesh. Her fingers began to turn red.

"Don't you dare." he hissed through his teeth. "We are not sixteen anymore."

"Then stop acting like it." Astrid hissed in his face before yanking against his grip. It was hard enough to bruise. And he called her abusive. "Let go!"

Hiccup pulled her only closer, his face still red in anger. Being so close to him when this angry made her nervous. She pushed against his shoulder with her free hand. Hiccup's breath made her bangs flutter against her eyebrow. "You want me to let you go? Swear to me that you will not slap my daughter again! I don't care if you birthed her or how hard you work with her, she is mine too and you are not to treat her like that again, do you understand me? Or do I need to spell it out?"

Astrid squeezed the socket joint in his shoulder hard enough to make him wince. "I won't."

Hiccup released her wrist in a jerking fashion. "Fine." He took a few steps back to the door and reached for his coat.

Astrid stared at his back, watching him get ready to leave so easily. "That's it?" She asked with a deep frown. But he was too angry to see the hurt in her eyes.

Hiccup spun around with a very fake smile. "Oh, I'm sorry baby." He cupped her face in his hands and quickly pecked her forehead. "Better?"

He was surprised when Astrid's face twisted in distress and tears welled up in her eyes. What surprised him even more was the very fact that, in all honesty, he didn't feel even the slightest twinge of guilt.

Astrid gently shook her head and looked away, lightly sniffing. "I don't know what happened to you, Hiccup. But you are not the man I married."

Hiccup shrugged nonchalantly. "You're right. I'm not." He moved past her toward the door again, but without warning she latched onto his arm, refusing to let him go with her grip and gaze. Suddenly she wanted affection? She wanted to know everything? She couldn't have asked questions two years ago? The thoughts only made him angrier and he tried to pull away.

But Astrid held fast, almost pleading in her gaze. "Why? Just talk to me, please?"

At last Hiccup extricated himself from her grip. "Talk? Where were you two years ago? You don't want to talk! You just want to tell me where I screw up and don't measure up to your endless perfection!" At Astrid's furrowed brow, he continued, "I married you because I thought you were perfect. Well little did I know how insanely, ridiculously perfect everything has to be!" Hiccup exhaled the last few words, suddenly feeling tired.

He was tired of the pain, he was tired of the anger. But most of all he was tired of not being heard by the people who should care. People don't see the current issues and years later when things suddenly fall apart, that's when they want you to relive your past and indulge in all your deep, dark secrets! It was infuriating!

Astrid huffed, "This isn't about me! Why aren't you the same person, what happened? Just tell me!"

"I'M A MURDERER!" Hiccup thundered. Astrid blinked and took a step back. What? Hiccup a... murderer?

Hiccup continued in his rant, her unsure expression unseen. "That's what has changed! The innocent Hiccup you married is DEAD all right?! I walked away from that duel and not with just a few blasted scars! I am not the same, and I am sorry that I can't still be myself!"

Astrid stared at him in shock. Now she understood what he meant by murderer. To any other person in the world, murderer would be the last term to explain that situation. But to Hiccup... that is exactly what it was.

Hiccup was nearly panting, the angry expression melting off his face to be replaced by the terror he felt almost every night. That expression only tuned Astrid back to his rant."You will never understand what it feels like to be a killer because you aren't like me! You could kill somebody, necessary or not, and move on, but I couldn't kill a dragon as a teenager when that is what I dreamed about doing every day since I was a kid! How could I kill a human and not be impacted by it?" Hiccup slumped against the door, still staring at her with near anguish. Astrid felt the need to hug him. That is probably what she should have done. But she only stood and stared.

Hiccup felt the need to continue. Maybe she wasn't getting it. "I'm not a killer like you! And neither is Addie. This is why we both differ from you and Finn; we aren't warriors or conquerors. That isn't me and that isn't her."

Something clicked in Astrid's mind at those words. She shook her head, eyes closed, mouth open yet silent. The action made him stop before he spoke his next thought. "Hiccup..." She opened her eyes again, still gently shaking her head. "No, you're right that she is not a killer. But she isn't you."

Hiccup furrowed his brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Astrid took a step away as if this new revelation knocked the wind out of her. She placed a hand on her forehead. "It all makes sense now! Gods, I'm an idiot..."

"What?"

Astrid fixed a glare on him and pointed her finger at his chest. "You're the problem." Suddenly the passion was back in her voice and with it, her annoyance. "You and your self hatred and insecurities and lashing out at everyone who just wants to help!" Astrid waved a hand toward the village when she spoke of them. Then she lightly shrugged, "Except precious Addie, of course, because she is exactly you before you killed Dagur. You're projecting everything you ever think you were onto her! You have it stuck in your head that she is the most innocent person! She has to be so protected that nothing, literally nothing, can touch her. Not only is that unrealistic, you think that it's going to fill that crater in your soul! She isn't perfect and she can't fix you and your problems!"

The fire returned to Hiccup as well, his voicing rising along with his thin frame. He stood tall in front of her again. "Then who am I supposed to talk to? You?" He gestured to her with his eyebrows and a curt, sarcastic nod. "The person who tells people to shut up and deal with their own issues, to stop being a baby?"

Astrid scowled. "I am your wife. And by not confiding in me, by putting someone else before me... it's like you're cheating on me."

Hiccup took a step back, air caught in his throat. "That's... disgusting, why would you... how could you even say that?"

Astrid pursed her lips, forcing herself to remain calm when he so clearly misunderstood that."There's more than one way to have an affair, Hiccup. And that's what you are doing."

"So you're basically saying I cheated on you with our seven year old daughter?"

"Technically she was five when you started-"

Hiccup raised a hand to his hair just to let it fall again with a slap. "Do you even hear how ridiculous that sounds?"

"You were giving our daughter the emotional intimacy that should have gone to us!"

Hiccup breathed a short laugh, shaking his head and walking back towards the kitchen table. "I can't believe I'm hearing this."

"I can't believe I have to tell my husband, a grown man, to stop acting the way he does! That isn't my job!"

"What are you trying to say? That we shouldn't be there for our daughter anymore?"

"THIS IS NOT ABOUT HER, THIS IS ABOUT YOU!"

"You keep bringing her up!"

"Because you put her on that pedestal! Pretend Addie isn't here for a minute, if you can, and think about you! Just you, not Addie! YOU."

"You're not making any sense!"

"When was the last time you held me when I cried?" Hiccup stopped short at her words. Aside from just a few minutes ago, it was hard to think of Astrid ever crying. Astrid curtly added, "It was yesterday, by the way."

Hiccup swallowed. Was he really that oblivious? Or did she just cry when he was out of the house, which was almost constantly? If that was the case, she couldn't seriously blame him for not holding her every time she was upset.

Astrid continued when his silence ensued. "I'm just trying to say that you need to get it in your head that not everything is about you! And you need to stop projecting all your problems onto our daughter! She's a little girl, she should NOT be put on a pedestal and she should nothave to be the one who deals with you every time you need to talk to someone!"

"Astrid-"

"If you don't knock this off, I'm going to start protecting her from you until you get your act together."

Hiccup opened his mouth to angrily retort but found no words. He let his mouth closed with an audible snap, just projecting his feelings to her with his eyes.

Astrid met his gaze effortlessly, refusing to back down. Her heart ached, but she had to continue her train of thought. She couldn't hold it in any longer. "I don't know what happened to you. You're a terrible husband, you're an irresponsible father," Her voice cracked yet she plowed through. She watched his expression darken into a betrayed expression. "I didn't marry someone like that. And I don't want to be married to it now."

Hiccup shrugged and finally looked at his shoe. He felt his pulse spike but he ignored it, speaking his mind anyway. "You never want to be in the same room as me anyway, so maybe you shouldn't be."

His eyes on the ground, he didn't see the hurt expression. But he sensed her cross her arms. "Are we seriously talking about this?" She asked tersely.

"Yeah. I think we are." Hiccup lifted his eyes to find hers burning just as angrily as his, though their voices were quiet.

Astrid grit her teeth, her heart pounding. "So... what do you want?"

"I don't know. But it isn't this." Hiccup didn't blink or move when he spoke.

Astrid, however, looked toward the door. "I don't want this either. I can't... we never even touch anymore... I just can't do this anymore."

Hiccup looked toward the kitchen to make her disappear from his vision. "Then maybe we shouldn't keep trying." He paused, heartbeat loud in his ears. Suddenly he felt the need to leave. To run. To fly. To scream. To do... anything. But he couldn't stand in this house with... withher another moment. He abruptly stood, prosthetic scraping on the wood floor he had polished eight years ago with his own hands. He felt his thoughts freeze, wondering where in Asgard that memory came from.

"I'm going to get my daughter from Gobber's. We'll be sleeping at my dad's old house. I just... I can't right now." he walked straight to the door, purposefully avoiding her by at least two feet.

Astrid suddenly found herself panicking. What had she done? What if he didn't come back? Why didn't she hug him when her heart and soul longed for it? Why didn't she take the chance when she knew time was so limited? Why?

"Wait-" Astrid reached out and desperately grabbed his arm just as his fingers twisted the handle. "Wait! Hic-" But Hiccup wrenched his hand away, not even bothering to look at her again. His jacket flapped loudly at the sharp jerk, then the door slammed in her face.

Astrid's heart pounded and she touched the door with her palm. The silence was ringing in her ears, making her own mind spin at a rate faster than she could comprehend. Thoughts, emotions, ideas... everything rushed together.

And then it clicked. She was finished. She didn't love the man Hiccup had become and she didn't want to deal with him anymore. Not now. Not ever. She wanted him gone, out of her life forever.

But more than anything, she wanted the Hiccup she had married. She missed his smile. His playful smirk. His biting sarcasm. His warmth when he would hold her close, the light in his eyes after she kissed him. His determination and stubbornness that wasn't just skin deep. She wanted her Hiccup, the man she fell in love with as a teenager, who single-handedly destroyed the Red Death with Toothless at his side. The man who knew dragons on an almost spiritual level, the man who understood people's feelings and emotions even better than his own because he was so selfless, the man who rocked his children to sleep no matter the hour or the sleep deprivation he knew would result, the man who nearly died for the tribe he loved so much, for the people in his life who meant the most to him. That was the man she had married.

But he was gone.

And what made it even worse was the man who had replaced him. A man so selfish, so snide and arrogant, so angry. So hypocritical. So easy to... despise. She hated him. She hated the man he had become. She hated him to the point of never wanting to see him again. She wanted to burn the house down, torch every living memory she had of him.

Where was her Hiccup? Why did he have to die? Why did he have to turn into a man he would hate every bit as much as her? How could he not see how much pain he was causing?

"Hiccup..."

The name that had once been a comfort to her now ignited her insides with a rage she could no longer contain. A scream of rage tore through her throat as she slammed her fists against the door. The door that symbolized her husbands treatment of her. Never talking, never in the same room, rarely looking her in he eye as he used to, just door after door slammed in her face. She couldn't take it anymore. She wanted him out. She wanted out. She wanted to bid him farewell and not even consider bidding him good luck. She loathed the man he now was. She hit the door with angry screams of rage until her fingers bled and palms bruised, pretending it was the fool himself. Wishing it was him she was hurting and not herself.

She hated him... and she hated herself. She hated that she couldn't convince him to be reasonable and she couldn't convince herself to endure this hard time. She never gave up on any challenge. She thrived on challenges. Yet this was not one she could win... she was losing. And giving up was, for once, the only thing she wanted to do. The irony concerned her: her marriage was the one thing she promised to even the gods that she would strive to keep together. Her vows were breaking, her husbands vows were breaking. It hurt. It hurt like she had swallowed a bowl of fireworms and they twisted, writhed in the pit of her stomach. But she couldn't change her feelings. There was no stopping those true feelings pouring into her soul. It was over. There was nothing she could do to stop it.

So she wouldn't try.

Tears rained on her face and she sobbed into her hands. She had failed Hiccup just as he had failed her. She had failed both her children. She had failed her friends and the village. And what hurt the most was the fact that she failed herself.

As she sat, hunched over and sobbing into her hands, she didn't see the little boy on top of the staircase. The little boy whose heart was breaking... and who had made a decision that would change everything. The boy who gritted his teeth and marched back to his room, hatching a plan to end this pain once and for all.

Xxx

Hiccup should have felt guilty.

He was crunching through the twigs and branches on the way to Gobber's, his hands in his pockets and his teeth gritting together. He was angry, most definitely, but he wasn't guilty. On some level, he knew that some of the things he had said were wrong and warranted an apology. So why didn't he feel guilty for saying them? Why was it that all he could feel was self pity and abject fury?

Well, he thought, he was right about not being the man he was before. Old Hiccup would have felt horrible for treating Astrid that way. He would have run back and begged her to forgive him. But he didn't want to. He had a surge of... of delight. Not the kind that made him truly happy. But there was a fierce pleasure in it. In making Astrid suffer for how she had made him feel. In finally telling her what he had been thinking for weeks, that maybe they shouldn't be married anymore. He didn't want to be married anymore. He didn't even care about how that would affect the village, not to mention his children. As long as he got out, everything would be okay.

But he was supposed to feel guilty. And a part of him was angry at himself for not wanting to work things out. For letting his life crumble around him. But not one of the emotions swirling around his head and his heart was guilt. Not one of them was right. Who was he anymore?

He stopped in his tracks, turning his head toward the woods. It was dusk so the sky was darkening but he couldn't stop the sudden urge to take a hike. He thought briefly that he did, in fact, need firewood. And now was as good time as any to cut down a tree... wasn't it?

He turned on his heel and marched back to the house. He vaguely remembered that Astrid had left an axe propped against the side of the house when she wasn't using it. The kids were finally old enough to know better than to mess with it. As soon as his hand closed around its hilt, his grip became painfully tight as all the rage he had felt over the last few weeks burst through. His entire body was shaking as he walked into the woods. He could vaguely hear screaming from the house. Rather than make him feel guilty, it only made him feel that sick delight he got from the knowledge that he had hurt his wife. That fueled his anger even more.

Suddenly, with no warning at all, he swung at a tree and left a good sized dent in its bark. It was almost like his arms had moved of their own accord. The tree in question was far too big for one family's firewood. Were he thinking logically, he would have picked a smaller one. Easier to chop down, easier to carry back, easier to chop into pieces. But this tree, this gigantic, towering tree... this tree was better. This was the one he wanted.

His arms swung again. The loud chopping noises sent birds scattering in all directions, their panicked tweeting and flapping wings irritating him, making him want to shoot them down. But first things first. He swung his axe again and dented the tree further.

"It's not my fault." he mumbled to himself. "I didn't ask for this. All this... this stuff coming down on me, this responsibility, everything that has gone wrong in the last seven years! It's not my fault."

His heart was pounding, his chest constricting. Whose fault was it? As he continued to swing the blade into the tree, his mind rushed backward, trying to cling to something, anything, that would take the blame off of him. For being an irresponsible father. For almost hating his wife. It couldn't be his fault. Astrid was wrong. It wasn't him. It was that... that anger. At himself for killing a human being. At everyone who had ever hurt him or his children.

Suddenly, the culprit, the villain, the monster who had destroyed his life popped into his head. His hands tightened more around the blade, his arms tense and shaking with fury.

"Dad." he chopped the tree as hard as he could and left yet another dent. "You did this. You did this to me. You did this to all of us." Chop. "If you had just taken responsibility for your mistake when you were a kid, none of this would have happened." He grunted as his axe embedded itself into the tree. He wrenched it out and swung it again. "She wouldn't have taken Addie, she wouldn't have told Dagur exactly how to destroy my family, she wouldn't have made it necessary for me to kill him!" He shouted in anger, his throat beginning to burn. "You brought that sick, twisted, life ruining bitch into our lives! And you didn't even stick around to pick up the pieces. No, you're off in Valhalla watching me try to fix your mistakes. You just had to die when all of us needed you the most!" the tree began to creak, its trunk making little snapping noises as it leaned.

The axe dropped from Hiccup's hand, landing on the ground next to him and instantly forgotten. He made a fist and slammed it against the tree. It groaned and leaned backward even more. An enraged cry tore from his throat as he began beating his fists against it over and over, forcing it down with his own muscles. When it finally fell, his knuckles were dripping with blood. He hardly registered the pain.

CRASH!

It was down. The mighty tree had fallen by his own hand. He was a Viking after all. All went silent as he froze, staring at the tree lying sideways on the ground. Most of its trunk was cleanly cut, but the final bit of it, the part still connected to the fallen tree by a few tiny pieces of bark, stuck up at odd angles, snapping when he had beat it down himself.

It should have made him feel better. He had taken down his adversary. For once in his life, he had faced an enemy far bigger than he and had taken it down all by himself. But it didn't matter. Everything was crashing down around him, like trees falling in the woods, their crashes echoing in his head.

And now his head began to ache. He raised his shaking fists to his temples and pressed down. The noise in his head was incredibly loud. He wanted it to stop, his family, his dragon, his village, the pain, why couldn't it stop for just once? His fists tore at his hair as he finally fell to his knees and let out the scream that was building inside of him. It echoed in the woods, sending still more birds flying away.

Whether he had sat screaming there for minutes or hours he didn't know. By the time his voice gave out, it was dark. His throat felt like it had been ripped to pieces. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination but he thought he could taste blood. As he took a few gulps of air, he heard a faint coo next to him.

Toothless had followed him. Had he been there from the start? Had Hiccup's cries alerted him to his rider's distress? Did it really matter? He felt a surge of affection for his dragon and rested his head against the Night Fury's snout.

Toothless lay still. He had heard the voices coming from the house like thunder, feel the emotions bursting forth like torrential rain. As predicted, the storm had come. And though all was now calm, though the storm appeared to have ended for the time being, he knew that it wasn't done yet. They had sailed into the eye of the storm but it wouldn't be long before they were hit once more.

Xxx

Gobber was half asleep when he heard the familiar knock at the door. He jerked awake and hobbled to it, not particularly wanting to relinquish his almost-nephew's daughter but feeling like it might have been best to do so under the circumstances. If only to prove to her that her parents didn't hate her.

Hiccup stood in the doorway, his knees covered in dirt, his eyes blank and almost dead, and dried blood on his hands.

"What happened to you?" he asked, half genuinely concerned and half upset that he had come back hours late.

"I want Addie." Hiccup rasped.

"You're not taking her looking like that." Gobber's eyes flitted to the bloody hands. "Get yourself cleaned up before you get an infection."

"I'm fine. I want my daughter." Hiccup's voice sounded like he had been sick for weeks.

"That wasn't a suggestion, that was a command. You can take her home when you get yourself cleaned up. Shouldn't take more than ten minutes." Gobber grabbed Hiccup's arm and dragged him into the house.

Hiccup didn't argue. He stumbled forward a bit but meekly waited for Gobber to heat some water and help him clean the blood off of his hands. When only the scabs remained, he bandaged them up. Gobber patted him on the shoulder.

"I'll wake her up." he said in a gentle voice.

Within a few minutes, a sleepy looking Adrianna, still dressed in the clothes she had worn that day, descended the staircase. Her eyes brightened when she saw her father. For a second. But as she took in his ragged appearance, her face fell.

"What happened, daddy?" she asked, her lower lip trembling.

Hiccup shook his head. "I'm just tired."

Adrianna obviously didn't believe him but she bit her lip and took his hand. Sensing that she would receive no honest explanation for the bandages on his knuckles, she refrained from comment. Fortunately for her, Hiccup's grip around her fingers was looser than it had been earlier that day. Yet, for some reason, she had a feeling that he was in worse shape than he had back then. Something about the slump in his shoulders, the tired eyes, the bandaged hands that she began to suspect covered self-inflicted injuries... something was wrong. Well, something was wrong, she knew that for sure. But it was more wrong now.

They took a few steps out of the forge before Hiccup spoke again. "We're sleeping at Poppy's old house."

All right, she thought, something is definitely worse now than it was this afternoon. "Why?"

"I just... I wanted to spend some time with you. Without your mom, okay?" Hiccup lied, feeling a twinge of guilt in the pit of his stomach that he quickly quashed.

Adrianna didn't believe him. She didn't believe a word of that excuse. It didn't explain his hands. It didn't explain his rasping voice or the dirt on his clothing. It didn't explain anything except that he was probably upset with her mother.

He didn't speak again until they had walked into the front door of the deserted house. Few things had changed. There were belongings of Stoick's that had been given to others out of necessity. But all the sentimental things stayed in place. As to why no one had moved into this particular house, it was a bit of a mystery. No one wanted to and they certainly couldn't bring themselves to demolish it. So it stood firm. Aside from a few travelers who needed lodging, it rarely hosted anyone for a long period of time.

Hiccup came to the realization that neither he nor Adrianna had any night clothes. Sleeping in their clothes from that day would have to do because he certainly wasn't going to go back to his own house just for something so mundane. Not as comfortable, perhaps, but it certainly beat his wife's cold eyes. He shivered at the thought.

"What's wrong?" Adrianna asked, finally letting go of his hand and looking up at him with wide, slightly frightened eyes.

Hiccup got down on his knees. His heart was pounding in his ears, his hands shaking a bit as he took hers. He wanted to tell her. To spill out every little secret he had held onto for so long. How much he hated himself, how guilty he felt, how desperately he wanted to get away from Astrid... but the words wouldn't come. Astrid's words echoed in his head. Adrianna was a little girl. Too young for such a heavy burden. He would have to carry it alone.

"Addie... you know when grown-ups say that everything's going to be fine and you think they're lying just to make you feel better?" he asked, squeezing her hands tightly in his.

Adrianna nodded, her eyes still fixed on him.

"Everything's going to be fine." Hiccup said, reaching up and brushing her bangs out of her eyes.

The girl could feel tears rising to the back of her eyeballs, her heart thumping so hard she couldn't hear herself think and her lower lip trembling. Her daddy had lied to her. Granted, he had told her he was going to lie. But why would he say that to her? What wasn't he telling her? She wanted to cry. But no, crying wouldn't help. Crying would make her daddy hug her and comfort her when, really, he was the one who needed it more than she did.

"Just tell me what's wrong." Adrianna said in a low voice, her eyes pleading with him.

Hiccup shook his head. "Addie, I can't keep depending on you anymore. It's my job to be there for you when you need me. But I can't keep crying on your shoulder." his voice was shaking almost like he was about to cry anyway.

"But you can. I don't mind." Adrianna blinked a few times to push down her own tears.

"No. Not anymore." Hiccup averted her gaze, staring at her clasped hands instead.

Adrianna paused for a moment. She stared into her father's eyes, which still had a pained expression. He was hurting. Something had happened and he was not okay. And now he wasn't going to tell her what it was.

"Isn't there anything I can do?" she asked, her voice shaking with the effort to stop her tears from bursting forth.

"Yes." Hiccup nodded and squeezed her hands again. "You can give me a hug."

Adrianna didn't hesitate. She threw her arms around her father's neck and held on for dear life, like they were dangling off of a moving dragon and he was the only thing to which she could cling. In fact, it almost felt like they were suspended in midair and hurtling toward the unknown at frightening speeds.

Hiccup's heart pounded as he held her close, his breathing labored and trembling. She was all he had left. His wife hated him, his son hated him, his tribe hated him... well, his dragon didn't hate him. Adrianna and Toothless, the only two who truly loved him. To let them go would be to lose all purpose in life. It was a miracle, at this point, that anyone could possibly love him now, especially after everything that had happened, everything he had done.

Then again, his daughter wasn't named Miracle for nothing.

Xxx

Blood was pouring out of what Hiccup knew would be a fatal wound. But as he watched Dagur smile in triumph, he felt a surge of rage. If he was going to die, there was only one option left. He sat up and looked his adversary in the eye.

Dagur's eyes widened in shock. "What-"

"I'm s-sorry, Dagur..." Hiccup choked out. "But I can't let you win."

Dagur made a move to grab the dagger sticking out of Hiccup's chest, but the Hooligan quickly jerked his head and collided with the Berserker's forehead. Dagur shouted in pain and recoiled. Hiccup wrapped his right leg around the back of Dagur's left knee, pulled back, and shoved Dagur forward.

The Berserker's leg slipped out from under him, causing him to shout in shock. He grabbed Hiccup's arm, pulling him over the edge with him. Hiccup's stomach slammed painfully onto Toothless' scales and he let go of Dagur's hand.

An unearthly scream pierced the air. Hiccup was forced to watch Dagur plummet into the rocks. There was a sickening crack and then all went silent as Dagur lay there in a pool of his own blood...

BWAM BWAM BWAM!

Hiccup nearly fell out of bed as he abruptly became aware of his surroundings. He blinked rapidly so that his eyes would focus. What in the world...

"HICCUP!"

His heart plummeted. He knew that voice. Feeling distinctly agitated, he got up and tiptoed over to the front door.

"Addie is sleeping, what the Hel do you think you're doing waking us up at the-"

"Oh shut up! Is Finn here?" Astrid pushed past her husband and began to frantically search the room.

"No. Why would he be here?" Hiccup yawned widely and wiped his eyes but his vision seemed determined to be out of focus.

"Because he's missing, that's why!" Astrid snapped.

"How do you know he didn't just get up early?" Hiccup scratched the back of his head and registered with a grimace that he really needed to wash the sweat off of himself.

Astrid turned to look at him, her gaze terrified and, surprisingly, not contemptuous. "His window was wide open. There was a rope made out of his blankets hanging out of it."

Hiccup's heart stopped. "So... he was taken?"

"No." Astrid shook her head as she finished examining the room, satisfied that their son was not on the premises. "He ran away."