CHAPTER 68 | AN IMPORTANT LOSS

WARNING: CHAPTER CONTAINS TRIGGERING SCENES

"YOU know, in my world we would be called, gal pals."

Daenerys spun around to give Maia a questioning look. "What?"

"Never mind."

The dragon queen led Maia outside, down the several flights of stairs that caused Maia's legs to ache. Noticing this, Daenerys hooked her arm around other woman with a smile. They walked across the entrance of Dragonstone, which was laid out beautifully with two dragon statues at the front. Maia would continuously be awestruck at the layout of this castle

Daenerys strode with Maia into the open fields outside Dragonstone, near the mountain cliffs overlooking the ocean. When Maia looked up at the sights, she was shocked to see one of Daenerys' dragons laying there so still. It was the golden one, with stunning orange tones mixed in his scales. Viserion laid beside his brother, Rhaegal, who was trying to play around with him and flapping his wings. Maia halted their steps for a moment, and Daenerys looked at her with confusion. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Are we ..." Maia gestured to the dragons. "I don't know if they like me."

"Drogon seemed quite smitten with you and Lord Snow." Daenerys grinned, guiding the other woman over more.

Maia swallowed hard as she followed Daenerys in the direction of the dragon. Upon hearing his mother's footsteps, Rhaegal flew off to join Drogon in the air. Viserion shook his head and sat up at the sight of Daenerys, but a foreign smell wafted in the air. Viserion's eyes landed on Maia as she got closer to him, causing the blonde to widen her eyes.

Once they were close enough for contact, Maia hid behind Daenerys, who released a soft giggle. "I'm giving you an opportunity of a lifetime, Lady Maia." She said calmly, while there was a dragon in front of her. "You said that you would like to meet Drogon's brothers. Here is one."

Maia stood up straighter, moving slightly to Daenerys' side. The dragon watched her with his bright, golden eyes. Daenerys gestured to him, "This is Viserion, named after one of my brothers."

Maia's brow furrowed. If she thought really hard – which she did, too often – she remembered her ex speaking to her about how awful Daenerys' brother was, and how abusive he could be towards her. "I've heard that your brother was terrible to you," Maia said, quite bluntly. Daenerys didn't react. "Why name this one after him?"

Daenerys looked away, a frown gracing her lips. She reached out to touch her child, and the large dragon ended up nuzzling his nose on her hand. "Viserys was cruel and weak and frightened. He made many mistakes, ones he cannot make up. And when I was naming him, I knew this dragon will do what he could not."

Maia nodded slowly. Her words impacted the blonde greatly, making her realize that Daenerys was selfless. She was also brave, and did not hold grudges against many who wronged her, especially if they were family. Daenerys recognized her brother's faults, but acknowledged that he would always be her brother in the end, and that was powerful.

"Come, come," Daenerys then called. "Put your hand out, my friend."

Maia glanced at her for a moment, fear in her eyes, before hesitantly reaching outward. When she turned towards the creature, it was staring at her, and inching close in her direction. Maia wanted to retract her hand and hide behind Daenerys again, but she wanted to do this. She remembered reading all the dragon books when she was a child, and never in her life did she think this would happen.

She took one step forward as Viserion's nose came in contact with her hand. Maia bit her lip hard, causing Daenerys to stand close behind her. "Don't move," she ordered. "He will take the movement as a threat when he's meeting you."

Maia did as requested. Viserion nudged himself close, breathing heavily onto Maia's hand. The blonde's dark eyes went wide as the dragon began to bare its teeth. "Still, Lady Maia," Daenerys continued. Maia's breath came out ragged, and just when she thought her hand was going to be bitten –

Viserion moved his head to the side, so Maia's hand rested on it. Daenerys smiled proudly as she watched the other woman pet her child. Viserion enjoyed Maia's scent, which was from an environment he hadn't been near. Her hands were soft as they lingered along his scales. Viserion closed his eyes, feeling at ease.

Daenerys put her hands on Viserion's nose and pet him. She looked to Maia, and the two women held a wide grin. "He enjoys your company," she whispered.

Maia didn't know how to reply. Viserion's eyes opened from the side, and he stared right into her own. She couldn't believe what was happening. His scales were hot, like boiling water would filter from the top of them, but they were beautiful. They were golden and had flecks of cream. Maia now brushed both hands on the side of his head and viewed up at the sky.

A storm was brewing.

•••

Maia had never been more in pain.

She had been up for too long. It was late in the night, and she wasn't sure if it was her panic over Jon's journey or something else causing her anxiety to sky-rocket so suddenly. Maia felt an immense pain in her back, as well as severe cramps in her groin. It became so painful that Maia thought of calling Talli or Tashi, but she sucked in her pride and hurried to the bathroom. She felt vomit rise up in her throat, but she forced it down as she ran to the privy, not noticing the blood stain on her mattress.

Maia filled a basin with water and splashed it on her face. The nausea felt worse, and she was almost gasping for air. It's the anxiety, she told herself. That's all. But the cramps said differently as the pangs in her side became worse. Maia dropped to her knees, holding her stomach. She bit her lip so hard she drew blood, but that wasn't the last of it.

She viewed upwards, looking across the room, where her chambers were connected to the privy. Maia's eyes narrowed at the trail of blood following her walk. Her arms around herself grew tighter. She moved backwards a bit, and tears began to prick her eyes.

She was sitting in a pool of her own blood.

Maia gasped loudly. She felt her throat close up. No, she refused to believe this was happening. Not when he was away. Not when he was on a suicide mission. Maia grabbed for the rag that hung on the basin beside her, and lowered it to the area between her thighs. When she brought the rag back up, all she saw was red.

Was this the reason why she barely felt any kick? Was this the reason why her breasts weren't tender? Was this the reason she sometimes had pain in her abdomen?

Maia cried louder than she ever had before. She rocked herself back and forth, feeling the blood stick to her bottom on the floor. What did she do that was so wrong? What had she done to deserve such a fate? The cramping subdued a bit, but her nausea became more prevalent. Maia looked at her blood on the floor again, causing her to then vomit in the basin of water to her right. She cried and cried, screams almost violating her entire being.

She heard the door to her chambers burst open. Her sobs were loud enough to alert one of her handmaidens, Tashi, who stopped short at the sight of Maia's privy. Tashi cupped a hand over her mouth, trying her best to remember a few words of the common tongue her Khaleesi had taught her. "Ma – My lady," she gasped.

Maia looked at her handmaiden with tears in her eyes. "What did I do?" The blonde cried. "What did I do to deserve this ... this curse?"

Tashi had no words. She helped her lady upward, staining the balls of her feet in blood. Tashi removed Maia's dirty clothes and dressed her in new ones before carrying her away. She changed her sheets and washed the floor as well. But no matter how clean Tashi tried to make the room, Maia still felt the blood crust underneath her nails.

She lost her child.   

•••

A/N: This was a very heavy topic to write, and I hope I portrayed it correctly as well as I could. I did some research through my college's health database for articles on miscarriage, so I hope what I have written is pretty much accurate.

If you remember all the way back to Chapter 1 (which some of you have mentioned in the comments, and it made me so happy), when Maia had her future predicted by the psychic, Edna, she told her that she would have one to no children. This prediction did end up coming true, essentially. And when Maia first finds out she's pregnant, she really thinks about aborting it, because she doesn't want it. She then grows to accept the pregnancy and decides to go forward with it, but as you can see in this chapter, it doesn't go as planned. It's a very sad moment, but it shows that sometimes what you want at first may come true.

There is also the fact where I don't feel like miscarriage is talked a lot in books. Everything ends up fine with a pregnancy and no one speaks about miscarriages and the after effects of them. As someone who knows a family member who had a miscarriage, I wanted to let her know that she is not alone, and this a big problem affecting many women today.

Also the quote from Dany comparing Viserion to Viserys is modified from a passage from A Clash of Kings! (At least that's where I'm pretty sure it came from, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong!)