I walked into class, laughing along with my friends, trying not to murder Cartman, you know, the usual. What I was not expecting, however, was Mr Garrison to be at his desk.

"Mr Garrison?!" said Wendy, in shock horror.

"Yes, hello children, here I am." What is he doing here! Isn't he meant to be running the country? You know what, maybe it's better if he doesn't. It was at this point that I noticed the numerous babies crawling around in a pen at the front of the class. They were dressed in either blue or pink onesies, but the potential for that pushing stereotypes was the least of my worries right now.

"Um, Mr Garrison, why are there a bunch of babies here?" I asked.

"That's not important right now Kyle. You all need to get into pairs." I uncertainly looked over at Stan, confused out of my mind. Stan just shrugged and came to stand next to my desk.

"Mr Garrison, shouldn't you be running the country?" asked Wendy once we were all in pairs.

"Ugh, Wendy, that job is such a drag. All anyone can talk about is my affair with Stormy Daniels. Honestly, I only had sex with one porn star! The fake news media should lay off! And don't get me started on that Russia witch hunt! I only sucked Putin's dick once! I swear this country is crazy."

"Mr Garrison, I know it's hard, but you need to get back to work. You need to get back to work. Just copy one of the Scandinavian countries, like Finland," suggested Wendy.

"Don't even get me started on that shithole! Everyone's like Finland this, Finland that. What's so great about those brown bear fuckers! 'Oh, Mr President, Finland's education system is so good, Finland does this well.' I'll tell you what I think, we should fuck em all to death!" he said, practically seething. The whole class looked pretty unsettled at this point. I noticed that the nuclear football was next to his feet, and I decided it would be best not to aggravate him any further.

After silence had filled the room for a couple seconds, Mr Garrison then said," Now children, in your pairs, you're all going to be looking after one of these babies for the foreseeable future. They're all roughly a year old."

"What!? Where did you even get those babies!" yelled Tweek, alarmed.

"I used an executive order to steal them from an orphanage Tweek, but that's not important. You are all going to learn how to be parents!" Okay, he's truly lost it. Also, I was getting a weird sense of déjà vu about the egg incident.

Mr Garrison started by handing us all boxes of supplies. I was very sceptical they'd have everything we needed in them.

Mr Garrison then hummed quietly as he handed out babies. Tweek and Craig were given a little girl with black hair, which Tweek stared at in complete and utter terror, while Craig carefully picked her up, and cradled her gently in his arms. I nodded happily at the two of them. Craig had a little sister, so he'll know what he was doing, hopefully.

Butter and Kenny were also given a little girl, but theirs had blonde hair. Kenny already had her in his arms, and Butters was playing peekaboo with her, she was giggling happily. That baby would be fine too.

Wendy and Bebe had a cute baby girl with brown hair. They looked delighted. The baby was smiling as she played with Bebe's hair. She pulled it, but Bebe just looked at her with adoring eyes, as Wendy held her securely.

Token and Nichole had been given the only black baby. A little boy. While Token glared at Mr Garrison, Nichole was happily hugging the baby.

The rest of the class also seemed perfectly capable with their babies, apart from one pair. Although Clyde was holding his baby boy in a perfectly safe and secure way, his partner was Cartman.

"Mr Garrison?" I asked.

He sighed, "Yes Kyle?"

"I think it would be better if you excused Cartman from this task. He's going to kill that baby!" I said with worry.

"Screw you, Kahl! Our baby's going to be much better than yours!"

"If you mean it'll be heavier then sure! But in any other way, I disagree! Also, this is a child's life! It shouldn't be a competition!"

"I seem to remember you were the one how used to kick your own baby brother!" Cartman yelled.

"I was in the third grade!" I defended, plus, I knew Ike was strong enough to take that. I wouldn't have done it otherwise. "Plus considering what you did to your own toys I'm seriously worried for that child's life!"

"Don't worry Kyle! Taco here will be just fine!" said Clyde.

"Clyde! Y-You can't name a baby Taco!" yelled Tweek

"My baby, my rules," responded Clyde. I was seriously worried about that baby. However, I was distracted by a baby being placed on my own desk. He had adorable green eyes and fluffy black hair. Uncertainly, I gently picked him up, the way I'd been taught to hold Ike by my mother. I held his head with one hand, and his bottom with the other, and hugged his chest into mine.

Stan was happily staring at the baby. "Dude, what should we name him?"

"Um, I don't know," I responded. "Maybe we shouldn't name him; we might get too attached."

"Dude, the way I see this, we're stuck with him for a while."

"Okay fine, you might be right."

"How about Moses?"

"Moses?!" I said, aghast.

"Well, he's going to be Jewish, right?"

"Aren't you Catholic?" I asked.

"I'm not hardcore Catholic though. My religion is more the metric system."

"Well, I'm not that hardcore Jewish."

"I know dude, but you're going to stick with faith, right?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Then he needs a Jewish name! How about... David!"

"Yeah, okay, let's go with that," I said with a smile.

"You two are such fags," said Cartman.

"At least our baby isn't called Taco!" I snapped back.

"Hey, Taco is a great name!" defended Cartman

"You'll probably get confused and accidentally eat him!" I yelled back. However, David started sniffling at my loudness, so I started gently bouncing him up and down, shushing him, with some apologies.

"Dude, you're good at that," said Stan in admiration, as David quietened down. I felt my cheeks heat up a little at the compliment.

"Thanks," I replied.

The rest of the day was pretty stressful and chaotic. Trying to focus on confusing lessons, while also on David. Then at lunch, Stan was too scared to try holding David, so he had to feed me my lunch, which resulted in Cartman calling us fags, and me holding back anger, so as not to disturb David, who was sleeping. Let's just say by the time we got back to my house, I was exhausted. Ike was in the garden playing with Karen and Tricia. I'm not sure how the three of them became friends. Probably when Kenny, Craig and I had had to drag them along to where ever we were all hanging out.

Mom was in the kitchen, singing as she made dinner. "Hello, Bubby! Hello Stan!" she sang at us as we walked into the kitchen.

"Mom, can you help us look after David? We don't really feel qualified to," I said.

"David? Who's David?" She turned around and witnessed the baby I was holding. My arms were so fucking tired.

"Oh! You've been given one of those fake babies to take care of! My, my, they really have gotten realistic!"

"No Mom! It's a real baby!" I yelled in frustration.

"Ohhh yeah, of course he's real bubby!" said Mom, winking at me.

"No, Mom! It actually is a real baby! Mr Garrison stole them from an orphanage! Will you please just look at him for one-"

"Mr Garrison? Kyle, he's running the country! He's not your teacher anymore. You do have such an imagination Kyle. Can you please go upstairs? I'm trying to make the dinner." I wanted to start smashing something.

"Fine! Stan's staying over for the foreseeable future!" I yelled at her as we walked upstairs. We'd decided it would take two of us to look after David at all times.

My bedroom suddenly seemed like a death trap. There were scissors on my desk. Pointy tables. Bottles of ink. Plug sockets. I was about to start hyperventilating.

I placed David on the ground. "Stan, don't take your eyes off him!" I commanded as I ran around baby proofing my bedroom. When I finally finished I looked over to see Stan pulling funny faces for David, while he adorably giggled. "Stan, we can't do this, we can't look after a baby! We're only ten!"

"Kyle, Kyle, calm down. We've managed a lot of weird things. We'll manage this too, okay?"

"He doesn't have anywhere to sleep! If we put him in my bed, one of us might crush him! If we leave him on the floor he might bash into something!"

"Kyle, Kyle, it's okay. If you stay here with David, I can go make a cradle for him."

"You can?" I said, close to tears.

"Yeah, Cartman had me make one for the anti-Christ in his story. I can do totally do in it real life! Plus, we made a treehouse together, remember?" I must have still looked very uncertain because he gave me a quick hug and said, "Just leave it to Toolshed, alright? I'll be back soon!"

Once Stan had left, I looked through the box of supplies Mr Garrison had given us. Surprisingly, they were well stocked. There were spare clothes, Baby formula, baby books, some baby toys and diapers. The diapers inspired me to google how exactly to change one because David was starting to smell a little. I took him into the bathroom, and quickly changed his diaper. It was pretty disgusting, but I felt better after I'd successfully done it.

When we were back in my room, David started crying. I tried bouncing him again and shushing him, but he would not stop crying. Eventually, I decided he must be hungry, so I prepared some of the formula milk in a bottle that had also been in the box, and he happily sucked on that.

For four hours or so, I played with David, read him some books, and played with some baby toys with him. There was a knock on the door, and I yelled, "Enter!"

Ike came in, followed by Karen and Tricia.

"Hey, Kyle, have you seen-" There was a pause while Ike stared at David.

"Kyle, why do you have a baby?" asked Karen. At least they seem to know David is real.

"Mr Garrison gave us all babies," I responded bluntly.

"Isn't he meant to be running the country?" asked Karen.

"Wait! Does my brother have one?" yelled Tricia in excitement.

"Yep, he has one with Tweek-"

"I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNTIE!" she yelled in excitement.

"Butters and Kenny have one too," I told Karen, and she started grinning too.

Ike pointed at David and said, "Stan?"

"Yes," I responded, and Ike clapped his hands with glee.

"How did you know he'd be with Stan?" asked Karen.

"When is he not with Stan?" replied Tricia. At this point, I could hear familiar grunting coming up the stairs. The three kids left the room to help Stan up the stairs with the cradle. The four of them eventually managed to drag it into my room. The thing looked surprisingly well made. It was painted green and looked very sturdy. Stan looked very exhausted.

"Dude, this looks awesome!" I said.

"Hopefully, it stays together, I had my Dad help me make it. Although, he didn't believe David was a real baby either. Mom also gave me one of those baby bouncer things, from when I was a baby. She said it would be fine for babies over four months. Although, she said it mockingly, as she also doesn't believe we have a real baby. It should be fine for David to use, as he's a year old."

"Why are our parents all so stupid?" asked Tricia. I just shook my head, I really didn't have an answer. I looked over at Stan's hands, they were covered in cuts.

"Dude, your hands!"

Stan just shook his head. "I'm fine dude, honestly."

"My ass you're fine! Can you three look after David for a couple minutes?" I asked as I dragged Stan towards the towards the bathroom.

"Sure thing Kyle!" Karen yelled after me.

I had Stan sit on the closed toilet as I looked around for antiseptic wipes and plasters. Eventually, I'd found both objects, and I walked back over to Stan. I took his left hand and started rubbing the wipes on the cuts.

Stan hissed at various points. "Dude, I can do this myself," he said quietly.

"I know, but I don't care," I responded, as I wiped his other hand and started putting on plasters.

Once I'd finished, Stan smiled at me with slightly red cheeks. "Thanks, dude."

"Anytime dude," I responded, a little red myself, as we walked back to my room.

"Ike, Creek is far superior to Style!" said Tricia, outraged.

"I think you'll find Bunny is the cutest," said Karen.

"Oh please, Kenny is obviously straight! At least Style is realistic!" said Tricia.

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked suspiciously.

"Nothing!" said Karen, grinning at us. I could not be mad at that smiling face, so I just smiled back. Ike was busy waving a rattle at David, who was looking at it mesmerised. There was also a baby gym on the floor of the room.

"Where did that come from?" I asked, pointing at it.

"Ike found it in the attic," answered Karen.

"In the attic! In the attic!" said Ike excitedly.

"David really likes it. He's super cute playing in it," added Tricia.

At that point, my Mom yelled upstairs, "Tricia! Karen! It's time to go home! Gerald's going to take you two home!" I looked at the clock and realised it was 8 o'clock. Ike, Karen and Tricia quickly left my room.

Xxx

Hey guys~ This will probably be a two-parter, although, as we know, most things I say are fake news, so that statement is questionable, just like everything the president of the USA says! Also, was this chapter too long? It was around 2300 words. Do you guys prefer 1000 words?

Also, I have a new story out called 'The Fractured Love Square' I'll just leave the synopsis here...

Life as an asexual, gender neutral, alien is hard. Especially when only certain people know you're an alien. Not to mention, you're also a superhero. To add to all this, the guy you have a massive crush on, Stan Marsh, doesn't really know who you are. And the guy only guy who flirts with you is a superhero called Toolshed who also hates you and makes terrible puns.

So yeah, life is hard. Chaos is literally always just around every corner, and with mysterious events increasing every day, life in the city of New South Park is hardly going to get any easier.

The story is Style, Bunny and Creek filled! With action, and angst, and laughs!

Anyways, thanks for reading, vote if you enjoyed, and have an awesome day guys~