Eva was standing with dishwater up to her elbows when the banging started at the door. Three knocks in succession, like a fatal omen. Every time knuckles met wood her heart skipped a beat. She stared down into the murky water, at her distorted and blurred image. For a brief moment she entertained the thought of not answering. After all, there was nothing behind that door but a broken heart and a defiled soul. Whispers of a life she wasn't allowed to live. But as the sound continued her self-control disappeared as though it was never there in the first place.

"Just one more time," Eva whispered to herself. She quickly dried her hands on a dirty kitchen towel and went to receive the package. "Just one more time." It was a liar's mantra.

A few hours later, Eva carried a bouquet of scarlet flowers between her sweaty palms. Based on the instructions given, she had gone past the central garden and into the desolated chapel of saint Eugenia right before midnight. Surrounded by pews and shadows, she was the perversion of a bride to be. A broken statue of the virgin judged her from it's vantage point. Eva looked down at her worn ballerina shoes. Every time she stepped into a church, even an abandoned one, she was hit with the heaviest of emotions. Melancholy. She could pray until her knees were bloody and sing hymns until her voice gave out. She could collect the ceremonial wafers like they were stamps, but it wouldn't matter. There was no atonement for the sin waiting for her at the confessional. Before Eva stepped towards her doom, she stopped at the baptismal font. Her fingers slid over the stems and sharp thorns within the bouquet. Then the flowers fell into the bowl without a sound. Drowning in the shallowest puddle of water still left.

"Create in me a pure heart and give me..." The sign of the cross she had begun to draw over her chest was never finished. Inside the cramped booth, Eva curled up with her legs against her stomach. The only light she was given came from the gap between the door and the floor where moonlight crept in.

"Hello", she said. The person behind the grate, who had always been so vibrantly colourful, was at the moment a dark silhouette. A memory that once a year, on the fourteenth of February, became blood and skin and warmth again.

"How are you?" Lily asked in a voice that gave life to siren songs. Unlike Eva, the other woman sat on her side of the confessional as if she owned it and not huddled in a corner. She was a queen on a damp and crumbling throne. Eva drew in a deep breath.

"My mother came by today. She brought sandwich cake with her." Eva hated that particularly tradition from her Swedish heritage. "Her dog has had an ear infection again. Second time in a month."

"Oh dear, what a tragedy", said Lily. Eva smiled a little at the sarcastic answer, but as always, the joy was fleeting. Carefully she followed the outline of a five-petalled rose carved into the confessional. It was a seal of silence once dedicated to an ancient God famous for his chaotic, almost humanlike, nature. The only thing the people of the past lacked when they feasted in Dionysus honour was shame. And yet his symbol sat above a place that filled her with just that. Sub Rosa. Eva withdrew her hand. Tears burned behind her eyelids as she gave up on the small talk.

"Sometimes I wish I never met you." It wasn't fair to give someone a glimpse of true beauty and then force them to look away. Force them not to feel. "I can't take this anymore, Lily."

"I know." The stall opened and there she was. The brightest of apples in the Garden of Eden. Lily's hair was the colour of the most decadent wine as it fell in smooth waves down her shoulders. Despite the bleakness surrounding them, her presence never truly diminished. Eva wasn't sure of much these days, but there was one belief she held above all else. One day, death would come for them and drag their souls to hell. And when this day came, the devil would take one look at Lily and beg at her feet. A hand reached out to Eva, like a blooming olive branch dipped in sweet poison.

"Everything will be alright", Lily said softly. When Eva began to sob, the woman went down on her knees and crawled into the booth. The first touch was fire and ice against Eva's skin. "Do you remember the story of Adonis? When he was murdered, his beloved begged Zeus to revive him, but it came at price. Adonis had to spend half of the year in the underworld where Aphrodite could not reach him." Lily leaned forward until their foreheads touched and their breaths mingled.

"They got six  whole months of the year together", Eva murmured. Within her, jealousy, anger and frustration rose and fell just as quickly. Leaving only traces.  Lily smiled sadly before placing their linked hands on the confessional. Over the carved rose that ultimately would not keep their secret.

"It is said that from the blood of Adonis grew the very first red roses. A symbol of love that conquered death itself."

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Eva dropped the plate into the muddy water. The three knocks came one after the other. Each time her breath hitched. She dried her hands on a dirty kitchen towel before going to open the door. Outside her apartment stood a teenage boy with ruffled hair and a brown work shirt that was too tight under the arms. He cleared his throat.

"Here you go, Miss. A delivery from Demeter's stems CO." He pressed a bundle of pale white flowers against Eva's chest. She looked at miscoloured bouquet with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Where is the note?" She already knew the answer. The young man shrugged a little uncomfortably.

"Sorry, Miss, but there was no note this time."