Isa POV

It is a long time before I fall asleep.

I spend most of the night watching Temi's outline on the bed in the darkness. I squint slightly, watching as her body moves slowly in sync with her breathing. I'm lying on the floor and Temi is up on her bed, her back turned to me in order to pretend that I'm not in the room at all.

I don't blame her, but at the same time, I do. I'm still angry at the events from earlier today and my skin prickles when I think of Temi running off to God knows where during class.

I had not expected myself to feel as angry as I did about the situation. I usually praise myself for being pretty level-headed and being able to handle intense emotion. This trait is a major reason that I work as a bodyguard. After all, you need to know how to remain calm under pressure for a job like this. 

But with Temi, it's different. It's like all my years of training have suddenly flown out of the window. My mind is racing as I think back to all the worst things I had imagined when Temi had not come out of the building after her class.

I roll over in my heaps of blankets, turning my back so I am no longer facing Temi. Sleeping on the ground is uncomfortable. The hard floor is digging into my sides, and I'm shivering slightly, but I don't care. If this is what I have to do to ensure that Temi is safe and she doesn't run off again, then I will do just this.

It is weird being put on a mission as a suicide watch guard rather than as a bodyguard. Obviously, I am not very good at the former. I sigh to myself and swallow down a lump of frustration that has formed in my throat.

I am filled with an emotion I haven't felt in a long time. It triggers a memory that I would much rather not think of right then.

But as I lay within the blankets, I can't stop my mind from wandering off to Joshua. I had met him a couple of years into my time in the military. He had just joined, and I could see myself in him. Just like him, I had been only 18 when I enlisted.

Enlisting in the military was not something that I chose to do. It was something that I had to do. There was no other way that I was going to support my family. Hence, straight after high-school graduation, I enlisted.

Joshua was the same and I think that was what drew me to him. I took him under my wing. He was the little brother that I never had. We were both posted to the same military base and were basically inseparable.

I swallow hard as the memory of the faithful day washes over me.

"Isa, we're needed out there."

Joshua's hair is longer and a dirty blond color. It had been a few shades lighter when I had first met him a couple of years ago. But that's not the only thing that has changed about him. He is taller now, his shoulders are broader, and he carries himself with a newfound confidence. And from the talk amongst the other women in the army, I am not the only one that has noticed it.

I grin to myself, sweeping my short hair away from my face.

"Good morning to you too, Josh. I'm glad to see that you're alive." I grin again as Joshua rolls his eyes. No doubt he knows I am referencing his state at the local party we went to last night. It is always a shock to me how he gets blackout drunk at parties, but bounces back unaffected the next morning.

"Whatever, Isa. Can you hurry up, please?"

"Can you relax," I say, dragging out the syllables in each word, "I'm just going to finish off here. Don't go without me."

I hear Joshua groan but smile as he settles down on his backpack and crosses his arms over his chest in a false-stubborn pose.

I quickly begin getting my things together, putting my essentials into my backpack. It is hot in the tent and I wipe sweat off my forehead.

"I'm going on a date with Alice this Friday," I say as I tie the laces on my boots. Joshua does not reply, but he rarely does whenever I bring up Alice. "Look," I continue, "I know you don't like her. But-" My voice fades away as I turn back to look at Joshua only to notice that he is no longer seated in the position he had been in a few moments ago.

I stand up straight, scanning the tent that apart from me is now empty.

"Josh?"

That's when I hear it. The loud explosion, not too far away from the tent.

Without thinking, with my ears still ringing, I run out of the tent. All around me, others are doing the same. There is screaming, but I zone it out as I run towards the site of the explosion, my heart beating hard in my chest.

"Joshua!" I yell.

My eyes are prickling from the amount of dust entering them, despite that, I force them open. My throat is dry, and I choke slightly as I run through the chaos of people scrambling around. The heat is overbearing, and I stumble slightly as I run forward.

That's when I see him. Lying there, with his mouth open and his eyes fixated lifelessly on me. There's a pool of blood steadily increasing around him as I stare immobilized, fixated on the boy that I had spoken to just moments ago.

Someone is yelling something at me. There are people crowded around him, but all that seems secondary. All I seem to see is him.

"Joshua," my voice is barely above a whisper. Everything around seems to still, and it's just us. "I told you not to go off without me. Why did you go off without me?"

I pause then. I look at Joshua. I look into his eyes as they look through me. Waiting, expectedly.

Of course, he never replies.

The sound of a whimper brings me back to reality. I turn back around to watch Temi as she shifts uncomfortably in bed. She appears to be having a nightmare, but I do nothing. I just watch her. I know I can't bring her comfort. This is not the first time in my life that I've been helpless to the situation before me.

Hence, I only watch in silence as Temi squirms uncomfortably in her sleep. Until I, myself, drift to sleep.

I am awake before Temi the next morning. I don't feel well rested, but I'm not surprised. Not after the events of the night before.

I leave Temi's room quietly, deciding to give her some privacy. The last thing she'd probably want is to wake up from a night of terrors, only for me to be the first thing she sees. Even I realize she can probably only take so much.

Not long afterwards, I hear shuffling in Temi's room, signifying to me that she's awake.

I knock on her door, and the shuffling instantly goes quiet.

"Get ready," I say, "we're going to eat breakfast and go for a walk together."

There's no response from Temi, but I am not expecting any. I get ready myself, then set out a bowl of cereal for the both of us. I know I'm still angry at Temi and can't bring myself to prepare anything more 'extravagant' for breakfast. There's a slight guilt eating at me, but I push it away by reminding myself that even when I do put effort into preparing a full English-type breakfast, Temi hardly even eats anything and doesn't show any appreciation.

She won't miss it.

Temi re emerges from her room a few minutes later. She's dressed in a big shirt and leggings. Her hair is pushed away from her face in cornrows and she glares at me as she settles down on the small dining table opposite from me.

"Good morning to you too," I say, pushing a glass of orange juice towards her. Temi ignores the glass and ignores me as well as she begins eating her breakfast.

It's obvious to me that Temi intentionally eats her cereal as slow as possible, in order to delay us going on a walk. For a few moments, I decide to ignore it and just wait for her to finish eating, but she catches onto this and eats even slower.

"Okay, that's it," I snap, "you have five more minutes to eat and then we're going on a walk. Whether or not you're done eating."

This gets a rise out of Temi as her head snaps up and she glares hard at me.

"I don't see why we have to go on a walk together."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't wanna go outside, you don't want to be close to me. We've done this already, remember?" I snap back, my sarcasm getting the better of me. I know I am acting immature and completely unprofessional, but I'm more eager to show Temi she's not the only one with a temper. Clearly, my demonstration last night was not clear enough.

The shock is apparent on Temi's face, but that's not the only thing that's clear. Her eye bags seem to have only gotten larger these past few weeks, and she looks pale-well, as pale as a girl of her complexion can appear. That's not just it. Her large eyes seem to look at me hopelessly.

"Temi, you need to get outside." And I mean it. I know firsthand how unhealthy it is to stay indoors and closed off, especially when in mourning. I swallow hard as I feel my mind slip away to last night.

Temi does not verbally protest, and I am extremely thankful for this. However, she is extra sluggish and drags her feet. At least this is better than nothing, and I am willing to deal with these odds.

Outside is still bright, and the last remnants of summer shine though boldly. It is a Saturday and students are bustling, moving around without a care in the world. I feel my heart go out to Temi, who lags a couple of paces behind me as we walk. I know that this is not the slightest bit easy. It's awful seeing everyone carrying on business as usual when you feel like your life has fallen apart.

I try to slow down to keep in pace with her, but this only results in her slowing down even further.

I sigh.

"Temi, I need to apologize about last night," I say, "I understand that my reaction may have been a bit... extreme..." I sneak a side glance at Temi but she's staring straight ahead, like she didn't hear a word I said.

I swallow to keep the irritation that is threatening to explode within me at bay. I will be lying if I didn't find Temi's dedication to constantly ignoring me to be infuriating.

"I need you to understand that what happened yesterday needs to never ever happen again. Never go off on your own like that." My voice is hard as I say this, and I feel Temi stiffen slightly next to me.

There is a silence that stretches out between us. It's filled with a strange form of tension brought about by the events of last night.

Then Temi speaks: "If I agree not to go off again, will you stop sleeping in my room at night?"

Out of courtesy, I don't answer for a few seconds, pretending to be contemplating my answer. I can feel Temi looking at me expectedly.

"No," I finally say, "but nice try."