Chapter 24

Temi's POV

The night is frosty, and it's freezing against my bare arms. I forgot my coat inside the venue, but there's no way in hell I am going back. So instead, I proceed along with my bare feet slapping against the cold ground and tears free falling down my face. It's pathetic.

It's dark, and my vision is blurry. I can barely see where I am going. I don't even know where I am going, but I really don't care right now. I just know that I need to get away. I feel like I'm going to explore. It's too much, everything is just too much and honestly, I don't think I can handle anything anymore.

I know my mom means no harm. This is how we have always been. We've never really had much of an emotional connection, but is it too much to ask that I get some sympathy right now? She wants to proceed as if my life has not suddenly turned upside down these past few months and I hate it. I hate everything about this. And I resent myself for expecting anything different.

My heart feels tight in my chest and it's pounding hard. There's a painful feeling in my throat and an emptiness deep within me. All I feel is pain. A built-up, deep-seated pain that has been with me these past few months and I don't think that anything I do could ever make this pain go away. I feel like I am doomed to feel this forever. To hurt forever.

Someone is yelling my name, but my head is so clouded that I don't hear it at first.

"Temi!"

It's Isa yelling out to me. I don't care what she has to say and choose to ignore her. She's the last person I want to deal with right now. I need a break.

"Temi, please wait!" I hear Isa's voice yell from somewhere close behind me.

"Leave me alone, Isa!" I yell, without bothering to turn around. I walk faster, my arms clutched over my chest in an attempt to keep me warm as tears keep falling down my face.

I am suddenly grabbed from behind, and I instantly start punching at the culprit. Of course, it is Isa. I hit her a bit for a while, as hard as I can. It seems like she intentionally allows me to do this before grabbing hold of my wrists, pinning them down.

I struggle for a few more seconds, but she is obviously stronger than me. A fresh wave of embarrassment washes over me, as I feel even more pathetic in that moment. I squeeze my eyes shut to prevent more tears from streaming down my face. I am already in a humiliating state as it is.

"Temi, please open your eyes and look at me."

Isa's voice is soft. I hear it close to me from above. It has something in it I haven't heard from Isa before. But I don't buy it.

"Fuck off, Isabella. Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone?" I try for my voice to sound as angry as possible, but it sounds weak and desperate, and I break into silent sobs. I try to mask the sound with sniffs and squeeze my eyes as tightly as I can.

I feel Isa pull me gently towards her. Her right hand is wrapped firmly around my wrists and through the chaos I am feeling, I can smell her familiar scent. It's a familiarity, a comfort as I lose my mind.

"I will not leave you alone, Temi." Isa says. Her voice still has that soft tone in it, and I hate how it makes me feel.

"I get it's your job, but I want to be fucking alone." My voice is basically above a whisper. It is hoarse and desperate.

"I don't think that's what you really want. And I'm not here right now just because it's my job."

"Then why the fuck are you here?" I ask. My head is spinning and hurting from all my crying.

Isa doesn't answer for a long while and I open my eyes. Through my tears, I can see her looking at me intently. Her eyes catch mine and she holds it for a while.

"I'm here because I care about you."

I'm already barely containing my emotions, and Isa's words send me over the edge. I break down sobbing violently, and Isa instinctively pulls me into her.

I don't fight it. I don't think I could fight it even if I wanted to. I let her pull me in and wrap her arms around me. I let her stroke my hair gently while I cry, shaking violently into her. She's warm and soft, and I cling onto her shirt as I cry.

She holds me throughout, not saying anything. Just holding me tightly.

I stay like this for a while, with Isa holding me as I cry. I'm not sure how long passes, but I eventually slowly pull away. Isa lets me go gently and I am now looking up at her while she looks down at my tear-stained face.

"I don't need your pity, Isa." I mumble.

"That's not what this is about," she responds, her eyes looking into mine intently. "I genuinely care about you, Temi. Is that so hard to get into your head?"

"You said our relationship should be strictly professional," I say, because I don't know what else to say. "You shouldn't care about me this much."

"I know what I said." There's a hard edge to Isa's voice when she speaks, and she clenches her jaw slightly.

We stand like that, in a weird form of a stare-off for a little while longer. The awkwardness sets in and I shift uncomfortably on my feet. A part of me wants to tell Isa to leave me alone, but I know that is the last thing that I want.

"Are you cold?" Isa asks, noticing my slight shivering.

"I'm fine," I lie.

Of course, she ignores me and takes off her blazer, draping it around my shoulder. I'm instantly engulfed in her scent, and I feel myself go slightly light-headed.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Isa asks.

I know I definitely don't want to go back and have to deal with my mom, so I nod my head.

We walk together in silence for a while. Isa has her hands stuffed into her pockets while I walk beside her, my bare feet against the floor. Isa does not comment on this.

I'm still sniffling slightly as we walk. The tears have stopped falling and I know I must look awful, with my tear-stained face, swollen eyes and nose. I'm still in a lot of emotional pain, but with Isa beside me, it's dulled.

Somehow or another, we end up at Central Park. It is rather late, but of course the streets of NYC are bustling with people. Isa takes a seat on an empty bench and I sit down next to her, leaving some distance between us. I pull my legs up, hugging them to myself, and rest my chin on my knees.

For a moment, Isa and I sit in silence, just silently observing the surrounding people. From her demeanor, I can tell that she's deep in thought. Her eyes seemed fixed, concentrated, and she clenches her jaw slightly. Whatever she is thinking about doesn't seem pleasant.

"When my friend Josh died, I was a wreck." Isa suddenly says.

I turn suddenly to look at her, but she is still staring straight ahead.

"He was in the army with me. He was so young and had so much he wanted to do. For a while after his death, I couldn't bring myself to deal with the fact that he was gone, and he'd never be able to fulfill his dreams. I thought it was unfair. I still think it is unfair."

Isa turns then and is looking directly at me. I don't look away from her, even though a fresh set of tears are now rolling down my cheeks. It seems that all I can do tonight is cry.

"Grieving is a horrible thing, Temi. It's different for everyone and it's a hard and extremely painful thing to go through." Isa pauses slightly, her eyes scanning my face. "Especially by yourself."

I swallow hard to push back the lump slowly taking form in my throat.

A sharp wind blows suddenly, causing my eyes to sting slightly. I can hear the rustling of trees and yells from people close by, but somehow, that all seems far away.

In her usual manner, Isa stares at me. Her dark eyes remain fixated on me, but I don't squirm or look away. Somehow, I feel unable to do so. I feel like I would stare into Isa's eyes forever if I could.

"I cannot fully understand how you are feeling. Your circumstances are different. But I have a good idea, Temi. You don't have to hide your emotions. What you're feeling is valid."

I scoff then. Probably not the best thing for me to do, but my anger has returned.

"Are you supposed to be giving me a therapy session? Since when do you care about me or my feelings? You can barely even stand me."

There's a look in Isa's expression that I can't place. I shift uncomfortably on the park bench.

"Is that what you think?" Isa asks.

"I think that if given the option, you'll leave. The only reason you're doing this shitty job is probably because you have to."

Isa is silent for a while, just studying me.

"You're right," she finally says, "that was how I felt at first, and I did want to leave. My boss gave me the option to take on another job, but I turned it down."

My eyes widen slightly.

"Why would you do that?" I ask.

However, Isa chooses not to respond to this and turns away, leaning back and looking up into the sky.

We sit in silence some more.

"Look, it's a shooting star. Make a wish," Isa suddenly says.

I look up into the sky, and sure enough, there is a shooting star.

"Make a wish," Isa repeats, "but don't tell me your wish, otherwise it won't come true."

"I'm not going to make a wish. That's corny, and I can't believe you do shit like that," I respond stubbornly, folding my arms over my chest. My response seems to amuse Isa as she chuckles slightly to herself, but does not push the matter any further.

Despite what I said, I make a wish. I squeeze my eyes shut as I wish. I wish that everything would get better. I'm not sure exactly what that means, I'm not sure what 'everything' is or what exactly 'better' looks like, but I cling onto my wish, willing for it to come true.

Slowly, I feel an arm snake around my waist. I don't fight as Isa pulls me into her side. Instead, I rest my head on her shoulder, taking in her scent once again.

"Isa, I don't want to go back and face my mom," I whisper.

"I know, and I have no intention of making you do so," Isa responds. I can feel the vibrations in her body as she speaks. "But we cannot stay here for much longer. It's past midnight and cold, and you're not wearing any shoes. We also have an early flight to catch tomorrow... well, I guess today now."

I feel her shift as her grip tightens silently on me. I feel her lips brush slightly against my forehead.

"I want to call an Uber in a few minutes to take us back to the hotel. Is that okay with you?"

I nod my head and snuggle deeper into Isa. I feel like we're under a spell that would be broken at any moment. I've been crying all night and I feel my eyelids grow heavy from tears and exhaustion.

"You're not alone, Temi," Isa says, right before my eyes finally shut.