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Suman POV

I sat down on the floor and pulled the knees closer to my chest. Leaning my face into my knees I let the emotions and memories run through my brain freely.

The moment when I married my husband at the age of sixteen. I was a young girl, unaware of what to expect from him. But, in the back of my mind I had this image of him being cheerful, loving and supportive who would take interest in keeping my interest in gaining knowledge. But, day after day as my clothes started to be ripped off my body, my dreams started to leave my soul.

After three days, I understood that if I would lie on my back, with my skirt high upto my waist and legs apart, the pain would be less. The pain that Nandani always desribed as pleasure which I could bever corelate with. He would come, lie over me with his face in the crook of my neck and start doing what all husbands are meant to do.

He used to tell me that. Being a wife, you should keep your husband happy.

And, it continued.

Days after days, my body got accustomed to it and my expectations died. Never had I been told that I was beautiful, that I was smart, that I was something. 

And, today when I saw Princess in my hand, a thought came to my mind that if a girl has to come to a life, she must chose her parents wisely.

Sometimes he used to yell at me. He would ask me to make noises for him and atleast smile or react and tell him that he was doing good.

But, little did he know that if your soul is wounded you cannot pretend. 

And, I could not either. The tears would flow through my eyes, down my cheeks and after three days and ninety two days without any break he finally fed up of me. Leaving my stomach in ache, when I could not take it anymore, when my face lost that pink tint, my berry looking lips lost its redness, when my eyes looked hopeless, when I looked lifeless, he finally left me.

No! Not for my good but for his own. Because he deserved better. He deserved someone who could smile for him, who could make noise for him and who could keep him happy.

Because, clearly I could not do it.

In the last seven years I had forgotten or say moved on every bit of it until today when I realised that I once again had a husband. Not husband, really! But... a husband. A half husband, though.

But, I could not deny the fact that somehow he had his rights on me. 

And, the pace our intensity in our interactions had changed from before that incident to post that incident I was feeling afraid that my heart was understanding everything wrong.

I did not know how to tell my heart that he was a Prince and I was just a maid. Our backgrounds were different, our castes were different, our clans were different and we were different. He was my saviour and my heart...my foolish heart was falling for his teasing words.

I did not realise it until Ranaji gifted me that necklace. Well, it was not the first time he had gifted me something expensives. He trusts me and he always seem happy with my works. He had gifted me things on Diwali, Holi, his crowning ceremony, Prince Ranvijay Wedding and on several other occassions. And, all the time, I loved taking apprecition gifts but this time it hit me. It hit me harder.

It reminded me the distance we had between us. It reminded me the distance between Kunwar Agastya and I had between us. And, I had to kill the emotions, if born any, in my heart before I end up getting hurt by them.

I exhaled deeply and got under my comforters. 

I was taking his good deeds and flirtings in other direction. He was just playing with our situation. He had always been this. Never serious and light, joyful and cheerful.

But, I had not been this stupid.

Was I this desperate for the last seven years?

That a man would start flirting with me and I would end up falling for it.

Urghhhhh.

Focus. Suman. Focus.

The sleep for quite some time was not really a peaceful sleep but a chaotic one. A sleep that I had after ages. I did not remember a thing I was seeing in my sleep but when I woke up, I realised that I had not really slept.

My head was feeling heavy and I immediately tried to get out of my sleeping arrangement to take the bath.

After taking the bath, I went straight into Nandani's chamber only to found out that the trio who was two yesterday was sleeping peacefully. Ranaji, Ranisa and their little Princess.

I started my daily chores with the chamber's cleaning, ordering the attendees and maids about the activities they had to do. Well, it was not difficult. Because, over a period of time you develop a understanding of what you need to do and these attendees had developed those understanding and I only had to keep an eye on them.

Suddenly, I looked at Reva running to me and she smiled beautifully while informing.

"King Abhinandan has arrived from Mahabaleshgarh,"

She said and a smile appeared on my face for both happiness and a upsetting moment that was ahead.

Three years ago due to the failing health of King Ranvardhan, the crown was passed on to the King Abhinandan. But, something happened and King Ranvardhan could not make it. And, Mahableshgarh was still trying to overcome that loss.

But, he was in better place now. If anyone had seen him in his last days. Suffering and begging for each upcoming breathe, they would have realised that sometimes giving up is easy.

Not all wars are meant to be won.

I turned my feet and got back into Nandani's chamber to wake up Ranaji atleast to welcome them.

"Ranaji,"

I called standing far away from their bed. The curtains had been drawn and I heard his deep, hoarse voice.

"Suman?"

I lowered my gaze and informed.

"King Abhinandan has arrived into Suryagarh borders,"

He immeditely stepped down the bed and nodded looking at me.

"Prepare guest room for everyone,"

He ordered and I walked out of the bedroom. I went into the common attendees chamber and went into the sanitation and cleaners section. I asked afew attendees to join and dictated them the instructions about the guest rooms.

The whole afternoon went in the preparations of the guest and in the evening I came back to Nandani.

I looked at Ranima, Daadisa and Queen Trisha sitting with her.

"Pranam Daadisa,"

I said walking closer to her and kneeled down to down her feet.

"Ahh, Suman, how are you my child?"

She asked with the purity in her smile and I smiled back.

"I am good Daadisa,"

I said and she placed her head on my head and asked with a sympathic voice.

"Are you really okay? Suman,"

She asked and suddenly I felt as if she knows. I immediately turned my gaze to Ranima and bent down to touch her feet.

"Pranam, Ranima,"

I said and she collected me in a loose hug and patted my head.

"God bless you, Suman,"

She said and I looked at Queen Trisha and adjoined my hands to wish her.

"Pranam, Ranisa,"

She also smiled looking at me and nodded.

"Ji, Pranam,"

I looked at Nandani suspiciously looking at me and I tried to say.

"Um, I should get something to eat for you,"

"No need,"

She immediately replied and I sucked on my lower lip not knowing what should I say.

Honestly, she would kill me for hiding the truth and if anyhow she would get to know about it from someone else, she would kill me and then feed me elixir to bring me back to life and kill me again.

"Um, I had to look after the preparations,"

I said and excused myself quickly from there.

I spent the rest of the day in kitchen looking after all the purchases we made for the big feast which was just five days away. I counted them and assigned all the duties to the staff. We would start cooking ladoos tomorrow.

It had turned dark by the time I finished and got tired with all the things. Thankfully, the work kept my mind insane until I went back to the Nandani's chamber to look after her.

I looked at her sitting on the bed and feeding her baby with utmost care. There were attendees around and she lifted her gaze when she noticed me.

"Leave us alone,"

She said looking at other attendees and I walked slowly towards her.

I sat on the bed in front of her and she looked at me with the slightly tired gaze.

"Is everything okay? Suman,"

She asked me and I did not know but I could lie to anyone but maybe not her. She was the one who had always stood for me.

I shook my head slowly and tried to tell her.

Maybe, it was the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do that whatever happened on that cremation ground between Kunwar Agastya and me had to be forgotten.

"What happened?"

She asked and I kept my gaze low while replying.

"I lied to you about my visit,"

I said and she touched my hand to make me look at her.

"And, what was the lie?"

She asked and I let a lone tear roll down my eye and I replied.

"My husband... died,"

And, in my mind I clearly imagined my late husband.

I said and looked at her eyes turning sad for me.

"Oh My God! How?"

She asked and I shook my head.

"I do not know,"

I said and she slowly put the baby on the bed and hugged me.

"Are you okay? Suman,"

She asked and I closed my eyes nodding my head.

"Yes, who would feel sad for that kind of husband?"

I said with a slight chuckle to find the sarcasm in it but I could not.

I felt her patting my shoulder and she said.

"I hope his family did not trouble you this time,"

She said and I closed my eyes. I did not know but I felt if I would tell her, I would make it into a real thing. I felt if I would tell her the story about afterwards I would make it difficult for three of us. When clearly those two were meant to be together.

"No, they did not,"

I said and she broke the hug and looked at me. I looked at her eyes looking at my closely and she cupped my cheeks.

"You are a brave girl,"

She said and I nodded.

"Ranisa,"

Suddenly, I looked at an attendee walking in and we both looked at her.

"Yes?"

She asked with the slight frustration as she already told she wanted privacy but they chose not not to give us that.

"Ranisa, its Prince Agastya,"

The attendee said and suddenly my heart skipped a beat.

"What happened to him?"

She asked and I looked at the attendee shaking her head slowly.

"We do not know. He asked for dinner and when we went to serve the dinner, he denied having dinner and sent us back. It happened for sixteen times. We tried to all the dishes and he has sent everything back even without tasting,"

She informed and I lowered my gaze with the slight knot forming in my stomach.

"He asked for dinner and then denied having it for the sixteen times. I hope we are talking about one single night,"

Nandani said with the utter frustration and the attendee nodded.

"Ji, Ranisa,"

She shook her head and muttered in her breath.

"First, Rudra, then this Kingdom, and then his brother,"

I sucked on my lower lip and tried to say.

"Umm, I will take care of it,"

She lifted her gaze and sighed deeply.

"Yes, please, ask him what he wants to eat and if he still behaves the same, tell Rudra. I do not have strength to deal with his wicked games now,"

She said and I stood up from the bed.

Inhaling deeply I walked towards the kitchen and asked them to make a plate for him with all the things he likes and reminded myself.

ONE LAST TIME!

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