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Suman POV

"I mean, what if you saved another woman, not me? Would you fall for her? Would you expect her to accept you, too, as a husband? Would you want to spend your life too?"

My voice came out slow as I asked him. My heart was feeling heavy right at that moment, but it was better than before. The silence felt soothing between us, and I stared at his face silently.

"Maybe," He replied, and I looked at my fingers moving in his curly hair. He closed his eyes and muttered in a slow voice.

"I understand you, Suman. I know what you are feeling, and you did not hurt me," he said in a slow voice, and I inhaled deeply, feeling a weighted pang in my chest all of a sudden.

I lowered my gaze, and I sucked on my lips before asking.

"What happens now?"

He inhaled sharply, adjusted his head into my lap, and muttered slowly.

"Nothing, just be yourself and happy,"

He said, and I smiled a little. I did not know, but it felt peaceful suddenly after the storm of chaos, and I tried to ask in a slow voice.

"But, I hurt you,"

He shook his head, smiled, lifted his gaze a little at me, and said.

"Bass ek tum hi to ho jo dard bhi degi to dawa jesa lagega. Fir dukh kesa?"

His words made me feel different, and I could not help but lower my hand to his cheeks and feather it gently.

"Hum aapse nafrat nahi karte,"

"I do not hate you,"

He smiled widely and nodded.

"Kar bhi nahi paogi,"

"You will not be able to either,"

And, suddenly, he inhaled deeper and looked up at me.

"But, do not sympathise with me. I do not need that," he added, and I gulped silently, unable to say anything.

He closed his eyes, and I continued massaging his head gently. I did not know, but I had a bad feeling about everything. It was not the thing he said but about something else. I did not know, but somewhere, I had seen this coming.

I mean, the way he got upset and tried to push me away from him initially, I knew something was dark about him.

But, he was not like other men. He was there for me, not just for saving but even after that, when I needed him.

I went to his chamber the other day, and he said nothing. He understood that I just needed some silence and his company. I did not know, but I know I was hurt because of him, and right now, only he was making me feel good.

It was like he had become my comfort after that incident. It was like nothing could go wrong when I was with him.

"Tell me, Suman," He spoke suddenly in a slow voice, and I blinked nervously before asking.

"What?"

He held my hand with his bandaged one and kissed my fingers before saying.

"Everything that is bothering you,"

His voice became stronger and more peaceful this time, and I smiled.

"I do not know, Kunwarsa," I began and held his fingers tightly in my hand, continuing.

"I am feeling terrified," I muttered slowly.

He smiled and replied.

"That's okay. It's not like you hear that kind of thing every day,"

I sucked on my lips and moved his head off my lap, and he lifted his gaze to look at me with confusion and pain.

I fisted my hands tightly on my skirt and lifted my feet to step into the pool, and his expression changed from confusion to shock.

His eyes widened, and I let the water drown my skirt inside. I lowered myself to sit with him.

He looked into my eyes as I pressed my back against the pool wall, brought my knees close to my chest, and inhaled deeply to calm my racing heartbeats.

I gulped nervously and placed my head on his shoulder, saying.

"My head is hurting too,"

I felt his body calming down against my touch, and he tilted his head against my head. I looked at him, intertwining our hands before I closed my eyes.

Finally, it felt calm and soothing.

Sitting beside him, I exhaled deeply and tried to concentrate on my breathing. The water temperature levelled low from high, and the oil in the lamps burnt against the emptiness to brighten the world around us. But, sadly, when night arrives, no light can bring the brightness back.

"Maybe I should have hidden that from you. I cannot see you in pain," He muttered in a slow voice, and I opened my eyes and looked at our hands. The skin was whitening due to the water and coldness freezing us slowly, and I sucked on my lips to say.

"Maybe, but knowing it from someone else would have hurt me even more," My voice came out slow, and he said.

"No one can come between us, Suman, if you choose to accept me as your husband,"

Hearing his low and hoarse voice, I lowered my gaze and shook my head.

"What if I am not enough for you,"

I asked in a slow voice, and he chuckled suddenly.

"Pagal ho tum?"

"Are you mad?"

I thinned my brows with confusion and turned to look at him a little.

"Jo bhi ho, jitni bhi ho, ab tum hi ho, Maang to bhar di hai na. Vikalp nahi hai hamare pass,"

"You are the only one now. However you are, whatever it may be, I do not have options,"

He said in a slow voice, and I tried to ask in a slow voice.

"What if you had options?"

He lowered his gaze, kissed the back of my hands, and muttered.

"Pata hai, bahut himmat lagti hai jab aap apne jeevan ka vo bhaag kisi ko batate ho jisse aap khud kabhi nahi yaad karna chahte, jisse aap har roz door bhaagte ho or bachna chahte ho. Tumhari Kasam, Suman, dobara kisi ko nahi bata paenge, itni himmat nahi hai. Or ab to ye ummeed bhi nahi hai ki koi samjhe kyuki samajhne layak nahi rahe hum ab,"

"You know, it takes a lot of courage to tell someone about that part of life you cannot remember, from which you run away daily and escape it. I swear you, Suman, I will never be collected to tell all this ever again to anyone; I do not have the courage left. And, now I have accepted that no one would understand because it is not even left understanding material,"

His words made my heart heavy, and I lowered my gaze silently, unable to say anything.

"Why did you tell me, then?" But I could not stop myself from asking.

He inhaled deeply and brushed my hand with his thumb while saying.

"Patni ho, hak or jaruri bhi hai tumhara jaanna ka,"

"You are my wife; it's your right and the necessity to know,"

I did not know, but it brought a slight smile to my face, and I turned to look at him.

"I have not accepted you yet,"

He smiled weakly.

"And you are so unpredictable and confusing," I added, furrowing my brows, and he asked.

"How?"

"One moment you say that you can leave me, and one moment you call me your wife," I said, and he sucked on his lips and replied in a slow voice.

"Me, calling you my wife is my reality, and you have the right to decide for yourself, and your life is your right. No one can stop you from saying that you do not want to see me, or you want to forget me, or you want to live alone or marry someone else. That's your right, but there is no way; I am backing out of your responsibility and my feelings,"

His words made sense to me, and I did not know, but hearing him made me feel lighter. Like he was lifting some kind of weight off my chest, and I tried to ask.

"So, what happens if I marry someone else?"

He thinned his brows and lifted his face to look at me with questioning eyes.

"Are you having an affair?"

I immediately shook my head, and my eyes widened with shock, trying to say.

"Are you mad? No!"

He leaned in closer.

"Just joking. I will be happy for you," he said in a slow voice, suddenly increasing his pitch.

"But, that man has to keep you happy. I mean, there is no way he would ask you to cook after having sex and make you cry,"

He said, and I chuckled.

"You cannot keep eyes on him,"

He shook his head.

"That's where you are mistaken, Sumanika Ji. I sure can keep eyes on him and can kill him for hurting you too,"

He turned his gaze to look at me, and I felt a shiver in my body suddenly when he mentioned killing my hypothetical husband.

"You need some kind of treatment. I am not even married to someone else yet, and you are already killing him,"

I said and lowered my gaze. He leaned in closer and kissed my forehead.

"Just be happy. I do not want anything else. I do not need answers; I do not want you to be with me if it makes you unhappy or doubt yourself. No promises, no heartbreaks,"

He said, and I gulped silently, leaning into his shoulder and muttering.

"I feel comfortable with you. I do not know. No man ever made me feel like this. I cannot let go of this comfort,"

I managed to say it in a slow voice, and it took a lot of courage to put that out in words.

"I am happy to be that," He said, and I lowered my gaze.

"You know when you are upset, the world can know,"

I said in a slow voice, and he chuckled.

"Trust me, when I am upset, no one can know," he said slowly, and I lifted my gaze to look at him. He looked back at me; those green eyes made my heart beat and raced up effortlessly.

"Why did you not tell your brothers about all of this?" I managed to ask slowly, and he shook his head while saying.

"It was not, is not and will never be something I am proud of. So, it's not worth sharing. What happened is happened. Talking about it will not make it undone or washed away. It will just hurt them and bring me back to the place from which I was running away,"

His voice was low, and I could not help but smile weakly while nodding.

"I can relate to that. I cannot tell everyone about my failures too; I mean, I cannot share about my dead husband and the life I had been through with everyone because, honestly, even talking about it hurts," I replied in a slow voice, and he smiled.

"No, talking about it to the right person will never hurt. Someone you expect to understand and just be with you. Like, Bhabhisa," he said, and I did not know why his words made me feel a pang in my chest, and I lowered my gaze, remembering how he was there for me when I needed him.

"Like you, Kunwar Agastya,"

I muttered and lifted my gaze to look at him.

And, suddenly, he leaned closer, and my heartbeats raced, and my breathing heaven. My lips quivered, but he stopped himself just an inch away. My flickering gaze lowered to his wet, full lips, and I looked into his eyes, flickering between my eyes and lips.

"I am not making any commitments, Kunwarsa," I whispered slowly, and he shook his head.

"I do not need commitments,"

I gulped nervously and managed to ask.

"What would this mean?"

He gulped silently and looked into my eyes.

"Anything you want it to mean,"

I fisted my hands tightly and closed my eyes with slight fear.

I waited, feeling the air rising to welcome his lips on mine, but instead, I felt those dark pink soft petals against my nose.

I calmed down instantly and loosened my hold while opening my eyes to look at him.

"You should go now,"

He said, and I did not know why it tightened my chest.

"Okay,"

I muttered and looked at his hand, leaving mine. There was an ache bubbling up in me to forget about everything and hug him tightly for the sake of us. There was a heaviness in me that wanted me to kiss him right there and tell him that I was scared, but I wanted to be him.

But, the fear of being hurt again won over, and I silently stood up to leave.

Taking a few steps away, I let the water drop off my clothes, and suddenly, he called.

"Suman,"

I immediately turned back to look at him.

"Ji,"

"Shawl rakha hoga, odh lena, hawa chalri hogi, thand lag jaegi,"

"A shawl will be there, take it, it must be strong winds, you will catch cold,"

He said and I nodded.

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