Chapter 11 Turn Right to Go Left/Back to Work

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(Then the screen shows Lightning McQueen in the desert driving on the same dirt road used for the race track. Doc then comes to Sheriff, who was watching McQueen.)

Doc Hudson: Sheriff! Is he makin' another run for it?

Sheriff: No, no. He ran outta asphalt in the middle of the night, and asked me if he could come down here. All he's trying to do is make that there turn.

Lightning McQueen: (slides off the track and onto the dirt) No, no, no, no! Oh, great.

Doc Hudson: Huh!

Lightning McQueen: (driving back onto the track) Perfect turns on every track I've ever raced on.

Doc Hudson: Sheriff, why don't you go get yourself a quart of oil at Flo's. I'll keep an eye on him.

Sheriff: Well, thanks, Doc. I've been feelin' a quart low. (drives back to Radiator Springs)

(We then see McQueen again, with his engine revving as he still tries to make the final turn. But again, he slides off the track onto the dirt.)

Lightning McQueen: (screaming) Aaaaaaahhhhh!!

(His side moves towards the camera, which dust fills the screen. When it clears, we see McQueen with a tumbleweed on his head and spitting dust out. Doc then appears in front of him as he moves the tumbleweed off.)

Doc Hudson: This ain't asphalt, son. This is dirt.

Lightning McQueen: Oh, great. What do you want? You here to gloat? (drives past slowly)

Doc Hudson: You don't have three-wheel brakes, so you got to pitch it hard, break it loose and then just drive it with the throttle. Give it too much, you'll be outta the dirt and into the tulips.

Lightning McQueen: (turns around) So you're a judge, a doctor and a racing expert.

Doc Hudson: I'll put it simple. If you're goin' hard enough left, you'll find yourself turnin' right.

Lightning McQueen: Oh... Right. That makes perfect sense. Turn right to go left! Yes! Thank you! Or should I say, "No, thank you"? Because in Opposite World, maybe that really means, "Thank you"! (his smile turns to a frown, then he starts his engine and drives off, scoffing) Crazy grandpa car. What an idiot!

Doc Hudson: (groans as he then drives away slowly back to Radiator Springs)

(Then we see McQueen driving around the first corner, and he looks towards Doc driving off.)

Lightning McQueen: Turn right to go left. Hmm... (he moves his front wheels right, but he then suddenly went right) Whoa! (He then drives off the side, stays still in midair for a second, and falls down into the valley.) Oh! (crashes) Ow! Oh, that...

(Then a cactus crashes on top of McQueen.)

Lightning McQueen: (screaming) Owwwwwwwwwww!!

(The screen shows McQueen, covered with little bits of cactus around him, as he continues pulling Bessie along the road, while "Find Yourself" is playing.)

Lightning McQueen: Turn right to go left. Guess what. I tried it. And you know what? This crazy thing happened... I went right!

Lizzie: You keep talkin' to yourself, people'll think you're crazy.

Lightning McQueen: Thanks for the tip.

Lizzie: Uh... What? I wasn't talkin' to you!

(Then the screen shows Luigi and Guido as they decorate their store, with Spike, Bubbles and Rabbit helping them. Luigi is cleaning the windows from inside while Bubbles, Spike and Rabbit are cleaning the windows from outside, and Guido is holding two rollers dipped in green paint from two trays and paints the wall beneath the windows. Sally then comes to them.)

Sally Carrera: Oh, Guido, è bellissimo!

Guido: Che cosa?

Sally Carrera: It looks great!

Guido: Ah! Ti piace, eh?

Sally Carrera: This is great!

Guido: Si, si, bellissimo.

(Luigi then comes out, happy on Sally's comments.)

Spike: Yeah, Sally. Everyone are so inspired by how wonderful the new road looked so far that they decided to spruce your places up. And we're helping. Check it out. (He points to the rest of Taskforce Squad, who are then seen cleaning up and decorating around the town, at Flo's V8 Cafe, Sarge's Surplus Hut, Ramone's House of Body Art, etc.)

Sally Carrera: Well, I guess we have you all to thank.

Bubbles(Powerpuff girls): Are you kidding? After all the townsfolk done for us, this is the least we can do.

Sally Carrera: Oh, please, Bubbles. We haven't done that much.

Bubbles(Powerpuff girls): Nah. You guys didn't accuse us for anything wrong that night. Not much at all.

Sally Carrera: You know, I like you guys. Ever since you first showed up here in Radiator Springs. Even though your friend may have torn the road in half, you guys are really starting to fit in.

Spike: That we can see.

Lightning McQueen: (calling out) Hey guys, I thought Doc said you and your friends were not to help at all.

Rabbit: (calling back) Hey, he only said we couldn't help you. Didn't say anything about us not helping ourselves or the townsfolk.

Lightning McQueen: (calling back) Riiiiight. That makes sense.

(Meanwhile, Mater uses his hook to get the "Tow Mater Towing & Salvage" sign upright while Sonic, Tails and Deadpool watch him.)

Mater: (grunts as he pulls his sign upright, then passes gas) Oh, Lord.

Sonic and Tails: Ew!

Deadpool: Ew! Mater, that's disgusting.

Mater: Sorry, guys.

(Then the sign tilts to the other side.)

Mater: (chuckles)

Sheriff: Mater! I need you to watch the prisoner tonight.

Mater: Well, dad-gum! Wait a minute. What if he tries to run again?

Sheriff: Just let him run outta gas and tow him on back. But keep an eye on him.

Deadpool: Wait a minute, Sheriff. What about us and the rest of our team?

Sheriff: Well, I know you all can't leave until he's done fixing the road, but now that you mentioned it, I think it would be a good idea for Mater to watch you all as well. You won't mind that, will you?

Deadpool: Well, I suppose that could work out, just for tonight.

Tails: I think I could agree on that one.

Sonic: (to Mater) Can you really handle about keeping an eye on us and Lightning tonight, Mater?

Mater: Yes sir! (closes one eye, and keeps the other open)

Sheriff: (groans) Oh... (drives away)

Deadpool: (chuckles) Oh, Mater. (walks away to join the rest of the team)

Sonic: Oh, Mater, you're so funny. (walks away after Deadpool with Tails following him)

Lightning McQueen: While I'm stuck here paving this stinkin' road, Chick's in California schmoozing Dinoco. My Dinoco. (feels something) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who's touching me?!

(Guido then pops up beside him. He was spinning each of McQueen's tires to get the cactus bits off them, and uses a spray can on the tires.)

Luigi: You have a slow leak. Guido, he fix. You make-a such a nice new road. And your friends are so-a helpful and kind to us-a. You come to my shop. Luigi take-a good care of you. Even though you not a Ferrari.

(Then the whole of Taskforce Squad come to join them, after they all finished cleaning up and decorating around the town.)

Knuckles: What's wrong, Lightning?

Lightning McQueen: It's just these guys.

Luigi: (to Squad) I was-a just-a offering your friend an offer after he was doing a grand job making such a nice new road. (to McQueen) You buy four tires, I give you a full-a size spare absolutely free!

Lightning McQueen: Look, I get all my tires for free.

Luigi: (chuckles) I like your style, eh? You drive the hard bargain. OK. Luigi make you a new deal. You buy one tire, I give you three for free!

(The screen shows Sally watching them, then she turns around to see Flo amazed with Ramone cleaning a fence around a house beside Ramone's House of Body Art.)

Flo: Oh, would you look at that? Ramone, Ramone!

Luigi: Then Luigi make you a new new deal.

(Sally Carrera then looks towards Red cleaning the Leaning Tower of Tires with his water, while McQueen and Luigi continue talking.)

Lightning McQueen: No, no, no, no. Deal me out. Pass. No, thank you. No, no, no, no. No.

(The screen then shows McQueen, Luigi, Guido and the whole of Squad.)

Luigi: This is it. My last offer. You buy one tire, I give you seven-a snow tires for free! Done. You interested, you call me. You all know where I am.

(Luigi and Guido then leave.)

Lightning McQueen: (exhales deeply)

(Suddenly, a burst of water is shot out at McQueen, causing most of the cactus pieces on him to come off.)

Lightning McQueen: Ah! Stop! Let me...

(Then the water stops, as McQueen coughs.)

Captain America: Hey, where did that burst of water come from?

Aquaman: It wasn't me.

Sentinal Prime: I'm still in my robot mode.

(The screen then turns around to show Sally Carrera and Red, who was shooting water at McQueen to get him clean.)

Sally Carrera: (noticing a cactus piece on McQueen's hood) Oh, Red, you missed a spot. See it right there? On the hood right there.

Young Ben Tennyson: I think I can help.(uses his omnitrix and transforms into Overflow)

Overflow: Now we're talking!

(Sally and Red are shocked by this.)

Sally: How did you do that?

Overflow: Omnitrix. It allows me, teen me and adult me change into different aliens.

Red: (whistles)

Overflow: Alright, let's wash this!

Lightning McQueen: No! No!

(Red then starts shooting water along with Overflow at McQueen again, struggling to get the cactus piece off McQueen's hood.)

Lightning McQueen: Ah! Stop, stop! That's cold! Help! Please!

(Finally, the cactus piece comes off, and Red and Ben stop.)

Lightning McQueen: Stop! (coughs and sputters)

Sally Carrera: Thanks, Red Thanks, Ben.

(Red then leaves and Ben transforms back.)

Young Ben Tennyson: No problem.

Lightning McQueen: What was that for?

Sally Carrera: Do you all want to stay at the Cozy Cone or what?

Lightning McQueen: Huh?

All Super Taskforce Squad members: Huh?

Sally Carrera: I mean, if you do, you gotta be clean. 'Cause even here in 'hillbilly hell' we have standards.

Lightning McQueen: What, I...? I don't get it.

Silver: We don't get it either.

Sally Carrera: Nothing. I just thought I'd say thank you for doin' a great job. So I thought I'd let you stay with me. I mean, not with me! But there. N-Not with me there, but there in your own cozy cone. And the rest of you will all be there in your own cones. And I'd be in my cone, and it's...

Lightning McQueen: Wait. Wait, you're being nice to me.

Sally Carrera: I mean, if you want to stay at the dirty impound, that... that's fine. I understand you criminal types.

Lightning McQueen: No, no, no. That's OK.

Sonic: Definitely OK.

Twilight Sparkle: We'd be honored to stay at the Cozy Cone.

Rarity: That's so sweet. Not to mention, very, very generous of you.

Knockout: Yeah, I don't want to sleep on a dirty ground.

Crosshairs: Neither do I, Knockout.

Leonard: And well, it'll be nice to sleep in someplace that's not a tent, like ours.

Chuck: And it'll be very comfortable.

Lightning McQueen: Yeah, the Cozy Cone. (looks at the Cozy Cone Motel)

Sally Carrera: It's newly refurbished.

Debbie: Wow. It looks wonderful.

Zeta: I agree, sweetheart.

Mighty Eagle: Me too.

Scorpion: It's about as nice as our base.

Lightning McQueen: (chuckles) Yeah, it's like a clever little twist. The motel's made out of caution cones, which, of course, cars usually try to avoid. But now we're gonna stay in them. (chuckles) That's funny.

Sally Carrera: Figure that all out on your own, did you? (reverses and turns around) Cone number one and all the other cones, if you want.

Sticks: Well, in that case... Thanks again, Sally.

Sally Carrera: You're welcome, Sticks. (drives back to the motel)

Lightning McQueen: Oh... (notices a tattoo on Sally Carrera's back) Hey, do I spy a little pinstriping tattoo back there?

Shadow: I never noticed that before.

Wreck-It Ralph: Looks nice, that tattoo!

Sally Carrera: Oh... (turns around and chuckles, then reverses) That's just a... (bumps into a pile of cones, with one on her roof) Oh!

Lightning McQueen and Sally Carrera: (both chuckle)

Sally Carrera: Oh, you saw that? Yeah. (chuckles) Just gonna be going. (reverses to the door of the building) Gonna... (the cone on her roof comes off as it hits the door) Yeah.

(McQueen then grins.)

Sonic: Yes, Sally looks lovely. Even for you, Lightning.

(The screen then zooms out to show Mater next to them.)

Mater: You know, I once knew this girl Doreen.

Lightning McQueen: (gasps as Mater starts talking)

Mater: Good-lookin' girl. Looked just like a Jaguar, only she was a truck! You know, I used to crash into her, just so I could spoke to her.

Cliffjumper: Uh... Who is Doreen?

Infinite: What are you talking about?

Mater: I don't know. Hey, I know somethin' we can do tonight, cos I'm in charge of watchin' y'all!

Bomb: Wait a minute. What do you mean, you're watching us all?

Tails: Well, Bomb, Sheriff wants him to (makes air quotes) "hunt Lightning down if he tries to escape".

Sonic: And he wants Mater to be keeping an eye on us too.

Deadpool: Just to make sure we're safe.

Rest of Super Taskforce Squad: (general agreement)

Buttercup: How about you, Lightning?

Lightning McQueen: No, guys, I gotta finish this road, and I have to get out of here.

Mater: Well, that's all right, Mr. I Can't Turn On Dirt. You probably couldn't handle it anyway.

Lightning McQueen: Whoa, whoa, easy now, Mater. You know who you're talkin' to? This is Lightning McQueen. I can handle anything.

Sonic: And we're Super Taskforce Squad. We can tackle any challenge.

Murfy: That's right.

Applejack: We're behind ya all the way, sugarcube.


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