In darkness although you see monsters, sometimes you see dreams as well. What is the point of love if he could not give the darkness she was pulling him in to one more chance and explore its depth; so that he could be certain what it contained; monsters or dreams?
With that thought Lakshya entered the charity gala only to be greeted by an unexpected friend. It was Ragini, in one of her most exotic avatars. She floated towards him gracefully with a dazzling smile set against her rosy cheeks. She took off her mask.
‘What are you doing here?’ after they settled the shock of their sudden appearances he asked her. Smiling and titling her head she linked her arm with his.
‘I came with one of Papa’s business associates.  He’s a promising young man; I think they want me to befriend him.’
‘Ah, I see,’ he said nodding unbelievably at the length they would go to get their daughter settled. A girl, as lovely as Ragini deserved better than being thrown at the matches her family kept constantly making for her. ‘So where is he?’
Ragini shook off that question with a slight smile.
‘He has other interests. I have no intention of burdening him with my irksome company.’
‘One has to be fortunate to have your company,’ Lakshya raised his eyebrows.
For a moment she looked at him dreamily. Oh, had he known how deep those comments touched her… But no, he would casually throw them at her, not really meaning an inch of the depth they held. One should always know the power of their words, but then again he was unaware of everything around him.
‘Would you like to be fortunate?’ She asked him.
‘Uh, no. I’m looking for Swara. She’s my date, but I couldn’t pick her up.’
Ragini rolled her eyes at him.
‘Then you indeed share my luck,’ she said pointing the dancing couples. ‘Your date is already at the dance floor, dancing with my date.’
It did not take him a long while to spot them. Not a big achievement considering the spot light never left them.
‘She never told me she knows SK closely,’ Ragini muttered still eyeing the dance.
Had his blood not been boiling he would have kept that edge off his voice.
‘That’s SK?’
‘Um hmm,’ said Ragini casually. ‘You didn’t know?’ She sounded surprised. ‘And why are you breathing steam?’
In a low yet furious tone Lakshya told her everything that happened between him and Swara. The way she was denying the straight facts.
‘I mean come on; I know in business I don’t have the same clearance level as she does. But she could have informed me at least!’
Ragini was not smiling anymore. Her face was paler and her eyes dimmed in to a thoughtful haze.
‘Are you sure this has something to do with business clearance?’ She said slowly, still watching the duo dance. Lakshya had a long before given up watching how graceful their steps were.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Maybe, she went to meet SK for some other reason, one she cannot plainly accept. I mean why would your empire seek a meeting with one of their rivals?’
‘You’re confusing me.’
‘Look Lucky,’ she continued slowly. ‘I’m not trying to instigate you or anything… In fact I want you two to be happy forever. I don’t know how much it is my place to tell you this…’
‘Ragini come to the point will you?’
‘Don’t you think they look a little too friendly?’
Unconsciously he glanced back at the dance floor. They were immersed in conversation.
‘And whenever Swara disappears why does she always reappear from somewhere connected to SK?’
As the understanding dawned upon him all he could see was shuttered hopes of something that will never come in to life. Would she play such a game with him? He was her best friend right? A little voice nudged him from inside his brain.
‘You’re not her best friend; that was Sanskar. You’re just a substitute. She can use you anyway she wants.’
‘Why?’ he heard himself mummer.
Ragini shook her head, looking at him worriedly.
‘You’ll have to ask her yourself, right?’
There were monsters, alright. So many of them that even dreams had started to look more like nightmares...
*
He stood in some hilltop, strange… He could not recall how he reached there. The wind, slapped against him, roared in his ears and whipped his cheeks. It was a cold, moon lit night. The moon was ghostly, large and transparent, hanging low in the sky over that precipice. For a moment and to a delusional eye it almost looked touchable.
Then he saw the red stole that blew slightly with the wind, patterned with golden stars, twinkling stones resembling the night sky. She stood at the very edge of the cliff, turning her back towards him, probably staring at the moon. Since he could see nothing more than that elegant Bengali bridal he could not be sure what her expression was.
The chill of the night increased with the silence between them. Then he came to his senses, this was just another nightmare. He could guess who the Bengali bride would be.
‘Kavi?’ he called out for her.
Slowly in a smooth movement she turned around, and breath hitched in his throat. As if the air inside his lungs froze suddenly, he felt his chest heavy and his eyes glued to the pale face and her tear-filled eyes.
It was not Kavita, not the ghost of his love. But it was Swara, very much alive in front of him.
‘You were my friend,’ she said slowly. ‘The only one I gave the right to break me… And you did this?’
There was a look of accusation in her slightly red eyes laced with disappointment. His words vanished in to non-being.
‘No,’ was all he could mutter as she backed away further towards the edge.
‘Give me one good reason to forgive you. One reason why you deserve a third chance? I know there are none. You don’t deserve to be forgiven Sanskar. You don’t deserve me.’
Some pebbles swept away by her approaching feet fall off the deep edge. One more step and he would lose her forever.
‘Don’t!’
‘Trust defined our friendship, I don’t trust you anymore.’
She stretched out her arms for the wind to carry her as the ground slipped beneath her feet. He could not hear her scream as darkness engulfed her, the last thing, precious in his life went away…
It was the shock that woke him up, not the music that filled his atmosphere. It was the night of Swara’s mehendi and the Maheshwari mansion was alive with joyous lights, only his room was smudged in darkness. Very apt thought Sanskar as he pulled his door open, this isolation came as a boon to him. At least he would not have to put up insane acts here. The passageway outside was empty too. As he stepped out something alerted his senses. A vase, shattered on the floor making an echoing noise in the silence.
*
‘How long do you plan on using me huh?’ Lakshya said in his new found bitter voice. ‘Why don’t you just run back to SK?’
Had there been no Mehendi in her hands, she would have slapped him. No one in these recent years had hurt her to this extent.
‘Have you lost it?’ She asked him calmly. ‘How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t know him?’
Laksh was beside himself in anger; he swept off the vase that decorated her room with a blurted move.
‘Save your breath,’ he said then. ‘I know it alright; I know you don’t love me. But I never thought you would use me like this, never thought you would be so lowly…’
Her throat went dry as his words managed to make sense. An old memory of her father yelling at her weeping mother crossed her inner eye.
‘It’s you and your daughter always!’ He had said then. ‘When would you see beyond yourself, when would Ragini have her place in this family? You know what Sharmishta Bose, you’re not meant for this wife role!’
Blinking away her tears furiously she looked up at the contorted face of Lakshya. Was this the future waiting her? Was she stepping off a cliff knowingly? What had she done to deserve this?
‘What does he want?’ He continued in that disgusting tone of his. ‘Apart from you I mean, is it our secrets? The wealth you see around yourself? Are you playing his pet spy now?’
Swara pursed her lips together and pointed the exit.
‘Leave, Mr. Maheshwari.’ She said in her formal voice. ‘Leave before I forget you’re my, would- be- husband!’
There was a threat in her tone and a deadly edge in the look she gave him. The discussion was clearly over. Shaking his head with a repulsive look, Lakshya left the room. As his figure vanished from her view Swara fell to her knees a sob tied around her throat.
She let the tears fall as her breath broke in to sobs. She had never broken down this badly.
‘Why?’ She said to herself choking with tears. ‘What did I do? Why? Why? Why?’
Outside the door, Sanskar leaned against the wall, trying to calm down his breathing. If he ever caught Lakshya, he would choke life out of him!
But is he to blame? A voice asked inside him. Did not you plan out this whole thing?
No,’ he told that voice. ‘I didn’t plan those heart wrenching sobs.’
But you did know that she would shatter like this; that you are ultimately going to lose her right?
Yes, but I didn’t know she would mean so much to me then.
*