That morning he had broken his favorite childhood photograph. As he sat on the Maheshwaris' conference room that was the first thought to cross Lakshya's mind. It was the one where the three of them he, Sanskar and Swara had poised with that muddy football. Supporting huge grins in their childish faces... It had been a memory he always cherished and the pieces of broken glass on those faces made him feel a ping of guilt. But the pain he feared did not come. After all, the other two in that picture had put him through worst tortures. Now a heart hardened after the broken bonds would not weep over a broken photograph right?
On that path his thoughts wandered to Ragini. His friend cum wife. How wrong he was about her. She was far stronger than he thought and certainly far too loyal. If it was not for her, he would not have recovered from the wounds his closest friends had inflected upon him.
He had spent a considerable part of the last few days analyzing himself. It was like entering your childhood room and finding it too small for your comfort. Most of his discovery failed to contend him. Some part of the blame laid with his family, mostly his father. He was not brought up to shoulder the responsibilities destiny now burdened him with. Instead he was brought up to be a first knight to the apparent king cousin brother. That is why it says do not plan ahead the destiny. See where it landed them? The said king had left his walls unguarded and had been imprudent enough to plan an attack on the same fortress while their knight had to step up to the throne.
The nearer he went the unsure he felt of himself. He was never strong enough for this, how on earth would he keep himself from falling? Then there was the guilt, the intolerable suffocating feeling that gave him sleepless nights.
Grudgingly he remembered of a time when he had stolen a pen from Sanskar's room. He might have been fourteen or something then. That pen was a gift from his father to Sansakr and had a value as well as a dose of emotions attached. His own gift had been a wrist watch that he had been fancying for quite a time. But, the honor attached to the pen and the expression in his father's face when he handed it over made him want it.
Once Sanskar had gone out to attend a late sport practice he had slipped in to his room and stolen the pen. Surprisingly no one noticed him doing this treason but that did not stop his mind from panicking. He had hid the pen in the deepest of his wardrobe shelves and locked it away.
But the guilt, the suffocation kept him awake the entire night that followed. Even ghostly sounds seemed to be emitting from that wardrobe. He was exhausted by the next day, to an extent that he went to his brother to hand over the stolen item with a confession and an apology.
He had laughed it away. Gave him an earful for not telling him how much he liked it and with a swift smile returned the pen.
'Keep it,' he said. 'I'll keep the memories.'
Gone was that miraculous brother of his, he thought with a sore realization. The current one wanted to destroy him, make him suffer for apparently no reason. But still, he could not make up his mind to step against him. Fight someone who had been his idol once. Take his place even when he had willingly abandoned it. Still it felt wrong, so wrong.
Only Ragini understood his agony, or came closer to understanding. She had wistfully listened when he sheared all the anger and frustration bottled up against his heart and the guilt eating him away and placed a hand upon his shoulder, a perceptive smile lighting her features.
'What you are going to do is the only choice you have,' she said in her usual soft tone. 'If you don't take your father's position this family will fall.' She stopped for a moment. 'It's not you who have betrayed your bond, so you're not a traitor to your brother.'
'But...how can I...?'
'*Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more*' Ragini said slowly. 'Some decision although hard has to be taken.'
He smiled at her intellect. She had simply explained him his stand, none of her words wasted. Yes, that was the truth. He might still love his brother but his family he loved more.
As the memory crossed his mind the conference room door opened once more and Adarsh entered with his mother, she looked completely out of place. He stood up briefly and helped her to take her position.
She seemed startled to come here. The towering persona she was at their home; here she looked a lost soul. Similar it was to a snow flake in a desert. He reassured her for a moment. After today's meeting and the voting is done there would be no need for her to bother with all this anymore. He would take over and manage everything.
Adarsh gave him a contradicting look. He was still upset over the decision. True, he as the eldest son had a right to their father's position. But Ragini's father was pulling the strings at the moment. He would only extend his support to his son in law, none the less. The man was milking his opportunity to dust in Lakshya's opinion, but there was nothing he could have done. He returned a desperate look, in hope that his brother would understand. Adarsh looked away swiftly and the coldness deepened in his face. The winter was coming here as well and Lakshya felt that another of his bonds was fainting in the snowy storm.
As they sat in silence the room filled with others, some speaking in whispers and some exchanging files or examining them. The Maheshwari's although silent seemed to be still staring at the door, waiting, waiting for the traitor. Long last the door opened once more and Sanskar with his usual purposeful stride entered. At the door he stopped for a moment and his eyes swept over the room.
The familiarity in the faces that made his view seemingly froze him for a moment and Lakshya felt that gaze burn in to his in a passing second. A memory of a recent conversation crossed his mind.
'He has the pen drive, that thirty percent is gone.' It was Adarsh in his usual negative thought process.
'No,' said Shekar Gadodia. 'The pen drive only assures them with whom Durga Prasad's allegiance lies, just because he has it that doesn't mean they would vote him for the chairmanship.'
'He's a Maheshwari,' Annapurna said softly. This was not the first time she joined in to a business discussion. Although she preferred to stay away, she had a considerable knowledge on the matters. 'And according to those people's knowledge once the chairman's favorite.'
'No,' Lakshya had to point out and say something that he desperately wished to avoid. 'Swara was the chairman's favorite. I don't think she would come anywhere near the conference hall if she wants her prestige intact.'
'What we need to think,' Shekar said, seemingly unaffected by the mention of his daughter. 'Is how we are going to convince them that even without the pen drive, Lakshya was DP's choice, let's discuss that.'
'We can't do that,' said Adarsh. 'Because he was not. What we can do is make sure they don't favor Sanskar.'
At this moment Ram Prasad had stood up and left the room. Later Laksh had seen him confront his mother.
When he recovered from the thought that took him to the memory Sanskar had already reached them. Ignoring the three people from his uncle's family he bent down and swiftly touched his father's feet.
Annapurna raised her eyebrows as Ram blessed him. The assumption she made in the morning was correct. This was why he had to meet the lawyer. So, Sanskar was not here just with the aid of the pen drive. She turned around and saw Adarsh glaring at Ram, who was ignoring him in his usual impassiveness.
'He might have released Yashodara Masi's assets.' He said in a low tone.
'What?' Lakshya asked.
'Ten percent, she had ten percent shares!'
'Well ten percent wouldn't change much right SK?' Someone was asking him. Sanskar was still smiling.
'I don't go by that name anymore,' he said in a merry tone. 'At least not here. Maheshwaris would welcome a Maheshwari right?' He was openly grinning now at the look Lakshya gave him.
Lakshya did not like it even a bit. He could see the game his witty cousin was going to play at the moment. What else would assure he comes under Durga Prasad's wish, but to use that Maheshwari card? He knew exactly when to extract benefits from the family.
'I thought you had no interest in the family business anymore,' the man he was conversing with was telling him.
'I wanted to expand my experience in the meantime. After all they did not need me till now.' His answer made Lakshya's blood boil. How easily could this guy lie? He was talking as if he had simply been waiting for his moment to take over. Who knows, perhaps he was.
'But none of your shares were given by Papa right?' he could no longer keep his mouth shut. Ignoring the warning glance his mother was giving he shot at Sanskar. 'They came from the late aunt Yashodara, who had no idea of present situations.'
'Lucky,' Sanskar said in a serious tone. 'You have no idea about the present situation either. And yes it was not me Bade Papa had bestowed his blessings upon.'
'Don't beat around the bush Sanskar, we know you have Yashodara Masi's ten percent. A ten percent's vote makes no huge change.' Adarsh said after a moment.
'Yes, but we're not talking about ten here are we? We're talking about twenty, twenty percent joined shares.'
'What the...' Before Lakshya could complete his sentence the door opened once more and Sanskar stood up at once.
'Dear lord,' Adarsh sighed. 'We're done for.'
Lakshya was not as quick as Adarsh to grasp the scenario unfolding in front of him. With a frozen expression he watched Swara who stood at the open door with a very placid expression on her face. Sanskar immediately went to her and grasped her hand, leading her gently towards the table. She walked slowly as if she was suffering from some kind of a pain, but the composed mask on her face never wavered.
'She was the chairman's favorite right?' Someone to his right asked.
Sanskar sat by her side and still speaking in his merry tone gave a brief introduction.
'Meet my wife, Swara Sanskar Maheshwari.'
There it was lying against her throat, gleaming in a florescent light of the room; the soul of Maheshwaris.
Now the sight came with a different impact. They were ready for a scenario where Sanskar would turn up with the pen drive. They could have even coped with him now possessing ten percent shares. But Swara, the most obviously favored by their father joining forces with him and wearing the pen drive was too big a blow. When that image of Swara was completed with Sindoor and Mangalsutra the blow was deadly.
That moment he realized Adarsh had been correct. The thirty percent they tried so hard to secure was gone for sure. They were indeed in a bigger trouble.
*
Her fingers were ice cold, Sanskar realized with a jolt. As the voting ended his hand accidently brushed against Swara's. Involuntarily he glanced up at her face in time to see her wince at his touch. They had to put up this charade, so that the voters were convinced with whom Durga Prasad's allegiance laid, but he knew inwardly how much she despised the idea of joining his name with hers. Now confident of the end result, Sanskar let his usually calculating mind relax for a moment and muse at the fact how foreseeing Bade Papa had certainly been.
'Swara Sanskar Maheshwari' indeed had been his destiny, in an unimaginable way.
The young woman who sat beside him was only a faint reflection of his once best friend. She was much more concealed minded, refined mannered and certainly far more beautiful creature to behold. Her straightforwardness had startled him, as he read that letter she wrote, but the honesty made him bow. He could not send her in to this swirl he had himself created alone, she would not last even a moment here. Whenever he fixed his eyes upon her, a need to protect her, a sense of deepest awareness filled him; he could hardly tag it with guilt or repentance.
Every mirage has an allure, its mysteriousness is its attraction. He had read somewhere. True it was. This Swara was an utter mystery, at the same time it was the attraction she held. He wanted to simplify the puzzle in front of him, come in terms with the tangled mess of his own thoughts. That need always ended up dragging him in to her presence, attaching them in a new way every time. After all, he thought with a sigh, *curiosity is not a sin*.
'What are you doing?' She frowned at him noticing he was staring at her.
Sanskar raised his eyebrows at her. 'Trying to decipher you,' was the answer that came to his tongue automatically. He gulped it and said, 'Nothing.'
Swara stared at him a moment more and turned her gaze away. This Sanskar was puzzling her. She could have coped with either the goofy smiling crazy Sanskar or the ever cold SK, but this utterly normal Sanskar was beyond her comparison. He was certainly nothing of her old friend, she was not sure how much of him was honest at the moment, but that threat of befriending him was...slightly ever...enthralling.
The man beside her had clearly passed that silly boyhood she remembered. He was every inch the perfect sculpture made by god with grace and charm thrown with the elegant set of features. But that was not what pulled her to this thought. It was the cold wall that disconnected his psyche from his eyes. He wore the most impenetrable of masks against his features. His eyes had a look of a wounded predator that at the same time made her sympathize with his pain and feel a thrill of fear with his power. He was a double edged blade with a mind of his own and perhaps had every intention of harming her, but that fear had the effect a flame has on a moth. It only drew her closer, all too well knowing that she was heading for danger.
Had it not being for her stupid mind she would have refused to work with him. But no, she wanted to know more. Dig deeper enough to touch that ice wall, understand what had happened to the Sanskar she used to know. Was he still in there somewhere? If not, who was this new guy? Why did he willingly become her Karana, knowing full well that she made no promises of even forgiveness? What was his motive? How was he slowly wining her trust?
Annapurna stood up suddenly, that jerked Swara off the thread of her thoughts.
'Congratulations Sanskar beta,' she said thrusting the last word almost poisonously. 'The crown and its burden are all yours.'
Sanskar touched her feet as the meeting finished and the assembly slowly filled out. She blessed him unemotionally and left the room in a graceful pace. Adarsh said nothing but gave them a vehement look before leaving with his mother. Ram Prasad lingered for another moment, whispered something to Sanskar and briefly touched Swara's head before leaving after them. Finally a long last only the once three musketeers were left in the room.
An ugly pause stretched between them as Lakshya glared at Swara and Sanskar looked from one of their faces to another. His eyes finally rested upon Swara's pale face. He could clearly see she was reliving the moment when Laksh had brutally rejected her. The humiliation and betrayal was cutting open her soul.
'Let's go Shona,' he said touching her shoulder briefly. She had clearly told him not to call her that, but could not help but feel the relief that washed her at his words. Swara turned to leave.
'Wait, Mrs. Sanskar Maheshwari,' Laksh called after her in a vile tone. 'We have unfinished business to discuss.'
Both Swara and Sanskar turned around simultaneously. Their fingers interweaved unintentionally.
'I thought your game was over,' he continued in his hardnosed tone looking at Sanskar. 'But now I see it has only begun. And you,' he looked at Swara. 'I thought by the way you wept at my father's feet, you learned your lesson. But, that broken marriage was no punishment right? Your lover was right there to take you hand!'
'Lucky!' Sanskar snapped in his usual sharp tone. 'You're talking to your Bhabhi.'
'You're no brother of mine,' Lakshya retorted. 'A brother would never have played with my emotions this way! It might have been fun right, making me ran around her begging for love when her heart and soul confirmedly was yours, only I was the fool not to see it!'
'Laksh you're crossing your limit,' Swara said slowly. 'And your assumptions are totally wrong.'
'Oh really? Tell me one thing, how long has this been going on? Wait, I don't need to know. What I need to know is already in front of me.'
He walked up to them and held Sanskar's gaze for a moment.
'Only a soulless man would have tolerated his woman in the arms of another just for the sake of the wealth he wants to attain.' With that last poisonous sentence he pushed past them and went out of the conference room.
Sanskar and with a gentle push shut the door after him before looked down at her.
'Give up,' he said slowly.
As if it had been waiting for his command the mask of indifference she was fighting so hard to keep in place, dropped at once. A violent sob shook her as her eyes burned with tears. How did he know? She had no idea. But the pain bottled inside was so excruciating. She always cried in isolation, never in front of someone she had categorized as not a friend. But at the moment there was no way of stopping those tears. The pent up frustration and the fire of pain was flowing through her burning eyes.
'Even heroes need to bleed sometimes, to squeeze away the poison from their wounds,' Sanskar said as he held her against him, rubbing her back to ease her sobs. 'Sometimes tears bleed away the pain.'
She cried in to his chest, and cried until the last drop of painful humiliation was squeezed and extracted away. Laksh could hurt her no more. There was one thing she discovered about Sanskar. He knew of pain more than she did and of cause, its remedies. Unknown to her one tiny piece of her broken heart was lost.
*
The *-* Ragini's quote is of cause from the golden classic 'Julius Caesar' play by William Shakespeare.
The *-* sentence about curiosity I borrowed from the amazing Goblet of Fire (Harry Potter series fourth book)