"Um, excuse me, miss?" A nervous voice squeaks behind my rigid body as I attempt to stop the blood from dripping down my freshly shaved legs.

Today was not a good day to wear a dress. Especially on a jostling subway, with no jacket to cover your ass.

"Yes?" I slowly turn towards the woman, cringing when I feel the drip of hot, thick blood dribble down my inner thigh, reaching my knee.

"Not to bother you, but, well..." she hesitates, and I can almost imagine cogs and wheels spinning in her brain.

"Please spit it out." I snap without thinking.

Horrified, I slap my hand over my mouth and widen my eyes. The kind woman flinches away from me, but I notice a glint of understanding in her brown eyes.

She leans in close to my body, and whispers, "You have a bit of a stain on the back of your dress." Then, without a further word, she pulls out a pen-like, packaged stick from her pocket and tosses it at my chest. I barely catch it, glancing down for a millisecond to do so, and when I look back up in utter embarrassment, the woman is gone.

Poof. Just like that.

I wish I could make my period do that. If only I could say, "Poof! Be gone!" And suddenly all this suffering disappeared. That would be one hell of a magic trick.

Too bad magic isn't real.

I study the unfamiliar package, realization dawning on me.

It's a tampon.

I dig around in my purse to find spare change, an extra pad, anything to end this madness, unfortunately to no avail.

I come up with two dimes, a penny, and some lint. Sadly, I don't think sticking a coin up my vagina would stop the force of ol' Aunt Flo.

At least I have this supersized cotton wad on a stick that looks strangely like sperm.

As the train comes to a screeching halt and the doors flutter open, I catch a whiff of dust. A sneeze warms up in the back of my nose, and I pray to God it dies down.

I spot a bathroom less than ten feet away. People grow agitated, pushing me out of their way as they carry on with their days'.

God decided not to settle on my side today, because the sneeze takes ahold of my body like a demon and causes a copious amount of blood to gush out of my hoo-ha, resulting in blood everywhere.

A few passerby offer me pitiful eyes, and it takes everything in me not to die of embarrassment right then and there.

With a death grip on the God-awful devil stick and a deep breath waiting to be released from my spasming stomach, I sprint for the restrooms.

Under no circumstances am I letting my early period destroy my day out.

I will do everything in my power to stop the raging force within my uterus, and if a tampon is the key to ending this torture, so be it.

So fricken be it.

***

how'd you like it?

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