Chapter Twenty-One: "I'm Sorry"

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Tadashi fiddled with the photos from the newspaper in his hand, silently hoping they would help him understand what had just passed between them. He looked hard at one zoomed shot of Callaghan behind the mask. The person who had taken Tadashi under his wing couldn't be the same person in this picture at all. Callaghan used to coach Tadashi, sharing all his robotic knowledge with his young prodigy. After all, he had invented Callaghan's Laws of Robotics. When Tadashi needed a father figure most, Callaghan was there ready to help. Tadashi thought over the many late night conversations they'd have while Tadashi built and tested Baymax. Callaghan's office door was always wide open to him. How could that Professor Callaghan be the same person beneath the kabuki mask? Callaghan always had some temper, especially when it came to matters of justice, but Tadashi managed to avoid the explosions just by being a good guy.

Hiro had told Tadashi why the professor cracked. Yet, there was a loyalty that belongs only to family and Hiro deserved that kind of loyalty from his brother. Tadashi had promised his parents that he'd do whatever it took to protect Hiro. But Tadashi began to realize that he was defending the person who could and would have killed Hiro, just because Hiro tread too close to Callaghan's temper.

"Now you fight crime around San Fransokyo using Baymax and my friends to support your escapades. How can I be proud of that?" Shame washed over him. Hiro wasn't necessarily in the wrong. It was Callaghan who had prompted the attack. Tadashi had seen the news footage, the villain seemed so intent on destruction. Tadashi knew he wouldn't have had the guts to do what Hiro did. Without a second thought Hiro had taken it upon himself to avenge Tadashi's death. Tadashi had called it recklessness but hadn't Tadashi done the same thing? He had launched into the flames to rescue someone without Hiro or Aunt Cass crossing his mind. It finally dawned on Tadashi. He was blaming Hiro for the same kind of behavior. Hiro was only 14, growth meant mistakes and mistakes were inevitable. Tadashi was a grown up, but he had also made his fair share of mistakes.

Thinking back to each news article he remembered that Hiro's name hadn't appeared. Hiro wasn't getting the credit that he deserved from anyone. Shouldn't Hiro receive that commendation from his closest brother and friend? Tadashi scoffed. They weren't close, not anymore. If anything, they seemed to be on opposite sides of the universe. Tadashi's mistake? Jumping to conclusions, wallowing in self pity, and assuming he knew it all. Tadashi cringed thinking about all the awful accusations he had thrown at Hiro. No wonder Hiro refused to be in the same room with Tadashi. Frankly, Tadashi would be feeling the same way if the places were reversed. Tadashi gathered his pieces of shattered pride, and looked outside one of the windows searching for Hiro. He saw Hiro perched on a step below, far out of the way of anyone who may rush past. Tadashi picked up his cane and managed slowly down the stairs and out a back door. He sat down beside Hiro.

Hiro felt the presence but didn't acknowledge it. He had intentionally run away to avoid further fighting, but his brother had followed him probably meaning to keep pestering him. Hiro stared at the passing sea of people who were on their way somewhere: work, school, or home. Home was a sanctuary from people and things that ruined your day. It was warm, comforting, and safe. Or at least that's what home was supposed to be. Now that Tadashi had moved upstairs Hiro dreaded being home and tried to be out as much as possible. When Tadashi had come home from the hospital, Hiro was so excited to have his family complete again and life would be how it was supposed to be. Aunt Cass would always run the café, Tadashi would go to school, and Hiro would be right at his side. In reality, that world was only fantasy now. Instead Tadashi was disappointed, still stubborn as ever. On top of that Aunt Cass didn't understand anything going on in Hiro's head. Hiro's home wasn't warm, comforting, or safe. He felt trapped, misunderstood, and alone.

Tadashi tried to find out the best way to say what he wanted to, "I want to say-"

"I don't want to hear it." Hiro snapped, "You've said enough so just-just drop it." He pulled the light blue SFIT sweatshirt closer, shielding himself from any more hurtful words that would inevitably fly from Tadashi's mouth.

Tadashi paused for a long moment, giving them both a little space, "I was wrong," he began, "I was wrong to protect Callaghan and take any frustrations out on you." Hiro scoffed in response, a small 'Yeah, no kidding' scoff. Tadashi continued meekly, "What you did out there was pretty gutsy. I couldn't do that."

"You didn't think you'd run into a building that was on fire," Hiro sighed sarcastically, "but here we are."

"I'm being serious, Hiro. You aren't little anymore. You grew up." Tadashi looked over to see Hiro bit his lip, "Callaghan was there when I needed a dad and I felt a sense of loyalty to him. At the same time, I had promised myself I'd always be there for you but when you needed me most I wasn't. When you needed my support I wasn't there. When you needed commendation I refused to give it. It was very wrong of me and I'm sorry." Hiro took a deep breath and stared hard at his sneakers. Tadashi took a chance and reached out his good hand to ruffle Hiro's hair like always. Hiro laughed weakly and drew his gaze to Tadashi, "You're stubborn you know that?" Tadashi smiled back, "Yeah, but you're no saint either. Hey, here," he handed Baymax's red card to Hiro. "Riding on top of Baymax huh? Sounds awesome. Think when my legs work better that I can take a ride?"

Hiro gripped Tadashi close in a tight hug. Tadashi giving Hiro that card signified trust and understanding, two things Hiro always had craved from Tadashi. Hiro lost Tadashi once. He wasn't about to have that happen ever again. Hiro's acceptance of the apology eased some of Tadashi's guilt. He had accepted the weighty assignment of caring for Hiro and tried his absolute hardest to fulfill his duty for so long, and to think he had almost thrown it all away on impulse. Like it or not, Hiro was just like himself. Tadashi first needed to find the balance to keeping Hiro safe and allowing Hiro to be who he was meant to be. But no matter what, Tadashi would always be there. Tadashi sparked another conversation, and instead of feeling interrogated, Hiro perked up at the opportunity to explain in even greater detail things his fellow nerd brother would find exciting. He animatedly discussed everything from the coding on the suits to the test runs the team had completed at Fred's mansion. That last part surprised Tadashi, "Fred has a mansion?"

"Surprised us too." Hiro chuckled.

Tadashi leaned his arms back on the step, "So while all of this was going on, did you guys know that I was in the hospital?" Hiro pursed his lips in thought, "We didn't. Someone called us to say you were in a medically-induced coma. We didn't even know that you had been rescued. I guess they identified you somehow and managed to let us know, about a month before you woke up."

"Strange," reflected Tadashi, "Besides Callaghan there wasn't anyone in the building. At this point I can't think Callaghan would have pulled me out. Even if he did, he'd want credit for saving me." Hiro shrugged simply and pulled a stale gummy bear from his pocket, "I wish I knew, because it saved all three of us when they saved you."

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