Me: I have to go to the toilet.

Sister: NO! YOU'LL FAIL!

Me: ...

————————————————————

Sister: WE ARE DANCING SKELETONS! F*CK THE WORLD! F*CK THE WORLD!

Me: This is art.

————————————————————

*watching Titanic when Jack and Rose are at the point of dying and being really shippy and stuff*

Friends: *wipe away tears*

Me: Whelp. They're gonna die.

*watching Infinity War*

Peter Parker: I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go.

Friends: *crying nonstop*

Me: This almost makes me cry.

*watching The Greatest Showman*

Friends: *crying loudly* This is the best film ever made.

Me: What's the commotion about? It's not that good.

*watching Justice League*

Cyborg: Booyah!

Friends: What a terrible movie.

Me: *crying* He said booyah.

————————————————————

Sister: Your eye sweat tastes good.

Sister: THEY'RE CALLED TEARS OF DESPAIR!

Me: ಠ_ಠ

————————————————————

Sister: So I had English listening test today,

Me: Oh, cool, how'd it go?

Sister: Well, the first one was about *insert thing it was about, I honestly forgot*, but the second one... Well it basically said,

Sister: Violence, if it isn't solving all your problems, you're simply not using enough of it.

Me: Mood.

————————————————————

Friends: Cole Sprouse is the hottest person, ever.

Me: Um, excuse me! *looks at pictures of Barry*

(For the ones that need to know, Cole Sprouse plays Jughead in Riverdale.)

Come on, guys, be honest. Barry can win this with ease.

————————————————————

Me: There are two things to describe me. Taylor Swift and-

Friend: Swift and drugs.

Me: Wait, wha...?

————————————————————

Me: *singing* FLAP YOUR HANDS AND DIE, DIE, DIE

Me: *realises what I just sang* Oh...

————————————————————

On Wattpad/Discord:

Me: I'M NOT CUTE!

A lot of other people: Yes, you are.

IRL:

Me: I'M NOT CUTE!

My friends: True.

(My sister is an exception to that, she somehow thinks I'm cute.)

————————————————————

Me: Oof. I don't want to wake up my dad, so I can't get my toothbrush... ._.

Wanderer: Then you must listen to my survival tips

Wanderer: ... just don't brush your teeth I guess, you're a lost soul

————————————————————

So my sister made this tiny whale out of stone. And I snatched it away from her to pet it.

My sister: Give it back!

Me: But it's a whale!

My sister: Well, then go on and whale about it!

Me: Whale...?

My sister: Whale is whine.

Me: ...

My sister: I'm hilarious, just not appreciated.

————————————————————

My sister & I: *singing* I have died everyday waiting for you

Me: Darling—

My sister: Darling kill me.

My sister: Titanic in a nutshell.

————————————————————

My sister: Ladadadadada, I'm gonna eat some berries!

Me: No, don't eat Barry!

My sister: Cannibalism. HA!

———————————————————

Me, holding up a sock: Sock.

My sister: Well, that socks.

———————————————————

Me: *goes to a site to watch Akame ga Kill*

The site: *says it's Akame ga Kill*

Me: *clicks play*

The site: *starts playing an episode Boku no Pico*

Me: *flips table*

———————————————————

So, TAGS was completely wiped off my profile for two days, but it's back and so am I!

I'm in a lot of pain though. Sjksjksjk

To celebrate (even though I'm the only happy one, lol), I finally published this chapter — which has been in my drafts since like, last year? Anyway, ya yeet.

AnUnnamedGalaxy go do your tags.