Dudes,

Soooooooo

I got a haircut today...

And I regret everything

I planned this haircut for a week and my mum was telling me to try out a pixie

But, I didn't confirm whether I wanted one or not because my insecurities kicked in

"But I have fine hair!"

"My face is too chubby"

"I have a really high forehead"

"My face is too wide"

"I wear glasses so how would thAt look?"

And they wouldn't leave me for the whole week

When I walked into the hairdressers I still didn't know why to get

I was debating between getting a pixie or just a trim because my head/face doesn't really suit many styles, or rather, I don't like myself with those styles because I'm a fucking insecure 14 year old.

So I sat down with my mum and in comes Victoria (the hairdresser) and we struggled to figure out what I wanted.

See, I do like certain hairstyles, that wasn't the problem, they just wouldn't look good with my face though (or at least what I thought)

Anyway, after a few minutes of debating and a tear being shed, I finally chose to just get a trim because I'm not secure enough to get a COMPLETELY different style

So, after the haircut, being the Brit that I am, I said I was pleased with the haircut

My mum said out of ear shot when we were walking to the car "are you really pleased with It or are you just being polite?"

and I said "both" because while I like the haircut, it isn't the one I love at the back of my mind

So later, back at home, my family see my haircut and my brother for once NOTICED THAT I GOT ONE

mini victory right there

So yeah.... I later realised through the day that I actually didn't like it at all. I hated it.

It sucks

I'd take a picture but strangers Online and what not.

So basically I'm now wallowing in regret and I wish I never got the haircut because now it's triggering all my insecurities and I don't want to go to school on Monday because everyone will see me...

Now I'm just thinking of how much I hate my face and wish I had a different face shape, even and plump lips, a structured nose and eyes that don't go too close to the centre of my face and don't forget about A NICE FOREHEAD!

I'm sorry but, how the hell am I supposed to attract my "almost a crush" Damian now? Who I texted saying "I got a haircut now and I regret everything" "I look even more terrible than I did before"

OR EVEN ATTRACT ANYONE??

OR EVEN GET ANYONE TO LIKE MY FACE AND TALK TO ME!?

Damian just replied to my text and said "right" 😂

Anyway... that's all I've got to say for now so imma just continue to regret my choices and lay awake at night not being able to sleep because of this.

Doomdah