"Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away, I've got to
Get away from the pain he drives into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light
For I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night"
*sigh* "Well can't say I didn't warn you but even if didn't see it coming he always had treated you differently. Should have guessed he considered you an entirely different game from the rest of the people he fucks with. Damn flea. I really can't stand that bastard. Why'd you have to go get involved with an asshole like that I mean he reeks even. Well come on then let's go"
"Wait what?"
I was so busy trying not to laugh at the antics of the tall male that I never realised he was getting up from the table, let alone pay for our sweets and leaving. I swear for being such a feared man and gruff he is like a giant teddy bear. He never did agree with my interaction with Izaya let alone when the said man announced to all of Ikabukuro that I was his and all men should stay away from me. Yeah that wasn't exactly fun to smooth over with Shizuo. He even avoided me for a month there. He eventually apologised with the addition of 'I'll never be ok with this relationship..and if the flea hurts you I won't hold back on killing him.'
"Well hurry up we are leaving"
"Where to?"
"Where do ya think? You're staying with me..dumbass"
"Heiwajima-san I can't stay with you..."
"Where are you going to go then? He sold your apartment, made sure none of your friends from high school would ever talk to you again, and you are scared to go back to his place. You going to stay with Shinra? He sell you out the moment Celty is involved and wouldn't be able to stand up to the flea on his own. So that means you are coming with me. Now let's go"
How did it all come down to this? I should have never let him back in my life. I've been hurt before but this is to much I can't take it anymore. He used to be my confidant after my husband left. That was the first time I had actually talked to Izaya that was four years ago. Four years ago he made me feel safe and I could go to him.

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I gave you all a girl could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love (oh)
Tainted love

"No. I'm sorry but I refuse to get you any more involved in this than you already are Heiwajima-san"
"Don't be stubborn Phoenix he almost had you killed only a year ago or did you forget while you head was in the fucking clouds?! You really are a dumbass if you think going back is a good idea after everything you told me! I can protect you if you are with me! Why-!"
"I never said I'm going back.."
"Where will you go?"
"I'm leaving I have had enough I know now I can't stay here...plus he will not follow me if I leave the country he doesn't want me that much...that I am sure of"
"Leave? Japan?"
"Yes"
"Fine but don't ever come back"
With that he turned and left me standing in the middle of the alley we had came in to make sure no one was listening to us. When he turned the corner I collapsed in on myself drained but refusing to cry. I am done. Izaya ended up getting what he wanted after all. Me completely isolated with no one and tainted by his love. I need to get out of here

Now I know I've got to
Run away, I've got to
Get away, you don't really want any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
And you think love is to pray
But I'm sorry, I don't pray that way

He played me. I thought I had seen something no-one ever took the time to see. I thought he needed me. He made it seem like he just need me to hold him and let him hold me. I thought he loved or at least cared for me. I was a fool. Now I am paying the consequences of my naivety. The bastard thinks himself to be a god and demands attention and praises from "his beloved humans", delusional idiot. He is no god and doesn't deserve praise. I need to run, Now, I'm losing time.

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a girl could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love (oh)
Tainted love

"Ne, Pixie-chan? Where do you think you're going?"

Shit.
My body froze at the voice. I couldn't move, even to look, over my shoulder, at the man I knew would be leaning against the wall, with that damn smirk on his face. I was so close. I avoided cameras taking alleyways to get here yo the docks. I didn't get on a plane to avoid it being in a computer system. I paid a man in cash for his house boat a week ago and slowly packed my things on it, to avoid suspicion. All of it seemed to be in vain though. There isn't any point in asking or even contemplating on how he found out.

Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap.
"Who would have thought you were so smart, Pixie-chan? Here I thought you just had your beautiful appearance, Heh. To say I was surprised is an understatement, to hear about my sweet Phoenix pulling all of this together on her own. Not only surprised, I'm a little hurt. If you wanted to have a vacation, sweetheart, why not just ask? I can take some time from work."

I can hear the sarcastic laced venom dripping from his voice as he makes his way closer to me in the small room, holed in the centre of the boat. Words that should be sweet between lovers were backhanded towards me and only making the dread that gathered in my throat sink to the pit of my stomach. I could only whisper out one choked word as I felt him come to a stop directly behind me. His fur coat was absent and I could feel the warmth of his chest as the outlines of it lightly pressed into my back.

"Why?" 

"Why? Silly woman you are my fiancee, if you go on vacation I do too"

I caught the hidden meaning in that statement quickly. I was trapped. There was no hope of getting away from him. I felt tears start to fall down in streams. He is going to kill me. I just know it. He has tried twice already, what's to say the next time he won't succeed, or the next, or the next.

I'm sorry Shizuo, but at least you are safe. He can kill you. If you had helped he would have.

I startled when I felt him wrap an arm around my waist and the other around my chest, trapping my arms between his two and my body pulled flush against his, moulding my back into his chest. Leaning over my form left his face to bury into my neck and hair. This put me into a panic to struggle against him and try to free myself. I had to get away.

"Don't touch me, please"
"I cannot stand the way you tease"
"I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm gonna pack my things and go"

This caused him to pause in his advances. A dark look came across his handsome features. He pulled away while turning me to face him, nearly giving me whiplash. When I managed to catch my bearings and focus on him only to find him staring. Completely void of emotions, just staring at me. It was terrifying. Then he sprung at me. Crashing his lips to mine harshly and repeatedly. Mostly bashing teeth over and over, while he moved to the bed pinning me to it while I merely sobbed in silence.

"No" he started repeating this between each clash of his lips and teeth moving from my own lips over my jaw, neck, chest, and anywhere he felt like. I slowly stopped crying as I listened to him and merely stared at the ceiling of the room. I could feeling my self slipping into numbness, succumbing to my fate as he panted against my now bruised skin.

To think I once would have been touched by this. I would have thought this meant he cared. He came for me. He is pleading me not to leave him. No. That isn't what this is. This taintedness is not his love for me. I tried to take his toy away. This is spite. This is anger. This is  sheer greed. This is hell.

Tainted love (oh)
Tainted love (oh)
Tainted love (oh)
Tainted love (oh)

Touch me, baby, tainted love
Touch me, baby, tainted love
Tainted love (oh)
Tainted love (oh)