Monsoons in Moosorie is as pleasant as torture. The temperature drops with continuous rain. And one can't miss those water scarcities. Apparently, the drains get block here, causing no water supply for days sometimes.

Even with all this, Amaya Kareem is walking as fast as she can with the heavy umbrella and those gum boots.

"I swear Amaya, if your boyfriend doesn't pick up the phone today, I'm personally going to give him a price of mind the next time. I'm freezing here."

"Noushi can you just keep that mouth shut and walk a little faster. We need to go back to hostel as soon as possible."

"...Then why the hell did you ask me to come with you in the first place."

".. I have to talk to him today... It's important."

"What if he doesn't pick up even today?"

"Then I will try again tomorrow."

"...Again?"

"Again, and even not tomorrow I will try the next day, again. I will keep on trying until he picks it up."

"And why so? Amaya, I think you get it by now, he is deliberately not picking up those calls. You have been trying for a week now."

"Because I don't want to lose a battle without even fighting it."

"Amaya, love is not a battle."

"But life is, Noushi, and for people like me, we have to fight for everything, every day, every moment. It's either we fight or we won't survive.
And here I'm fighting with something I needs the most."

"And what if he doesn't want it anymore."

"Then I lost."

"..Then"

"Then I will rise again. Losing something means there's something better waiting for you. So, if I lose him, I know there will be something better for me.

But that's when I lose my battle after giving my cent percent. If I fight it till the end. I just hope one thing though."

".. And that is?"

"That at the end of the battle all these will worth it, worth fighting for."

"And I just hope one thing for you." Amaya passes her friend a questioning look.

"At the end of it, you win or lose doesn't matter, but just don't lose yourself Amaya Kareem.
Some people are worth it all.
And some aren't.

I just hope your boyfriend belongs to the first kind."

Amaya smiles, keeping a note in the mind. While fighting a battle for his love, don't lose yourself in it.

Noushi is good at reading people, too good for her own good sometimes. She knows there is something in her boyfriend that doesn't go well with any of them, not even with her. But she is in love with for two years now.

She had lived her fifteen summers back in London, and three summers here in Dehra, where she found him for a year. And in that year, she lived, loved, been happy, laughed, in that year she had come to know, how love can make us do things, crazy things.

So here she is, doing crazy thing yet again. As they reach the booth, Amaya dials a familiar number, nine four three four eight three five nine seven nine, as usual, her hands tremble a little.
Even after dating him for three years, she is still scared to call him. That person is her sweetest dream but ....

After trying for the third time, she is ready to leave.

"Beta harr roz kisko call karti ho? Woh toh roz phone nahi uthata."
Even the lady sitting there on the booth feels sorry for her.

Amaya Kareem is quite a known face in the locality. Living here for four years, playing with native children, teaching them sometimes and enjoying with them most of the times.

Even in this rain, she once drenched while dancing, as per her, 'she is living the moment'.

"Ghar per Aunty." She whispers, making a wish, for him to be her home.

"Woh ghar nahi beta jaha dil na ho, waha tum sirf, tumhari koshis hai sirf, aur aisa ghar nahi bante."

Giving her a sad smile, she tries again, this time her luck works, the person on other side picks up the call.

"What?"

"I ... How are you?"

"I am good. Why did you call?"

"I wanted to talk about something"

"I'm a little busy now."

"Please just for some time?"

"Fine..."

"...It's my farewell next week and then..."

"...Then you are coming back here, and we will be living together."

"I know but you haven't met Maa"

"I will once I gets the job Baby, till then I need you by my side."

"I'm here with you."

"I have to go now."

"But. you said you will talk to me."

"I really have to rush; Haider Bhai is calling me. Bye."

"Please just for some more minutes."

"Don't be a brat now. I have to go."

"I won't talk to you then"

"I really don't care"

"Are you kidding me?"

"I'm not, I can stand without talking to you."

"You afford to do that, to live without me?"

"I do afford that." The call is cut, without even her consent.

It was never about her like always, it's always about him, like always.

Years ago, someone promised her to give her share of happiness, something she was not even looking for. But she got it in him, in his love. He gave her a home like feeling even though he was never home.

And then things happened, like any other love which never dies of a natural death, her love died too, some parts were choked by him and others was drowned in betrayals, a betrayal that left a much deeper scar, perhaps a prominent one. Along with that she left her little home like feeling, apparently her share of happiness too.

Amaya never asked anyone for anything, but from him she had, and maybe that's what she thought her mistake lies, she asked someone for something, and what she got was simply a hell she wants no one to suffer from.

◆●◆●◆

Nearly two years of friendship with Zain Amir gave the happiness Amaya Kareem never asked for. All her pain feels like eons ago. Now she is here in Dubai, Dehra is past.

Life took some uncertain turns, and now as she sits by the balcony door with the sky pouring outside, she is lost in her thoughts. In the background, the old gramophone plays,

Jeene ke liye socha hi nahi
Dard sambhalne honge
Muskuraaye to muskuraane ke
Karz utaarne honge

She hums along, feeling the lines, drowned in a memory, long gone, long faded.

"You still love him?"

Not much away from her, there stands a man with amber eyes, clad in his signature turtle neck sweater pair with faded blue jeans, messy hairs and a known cologne.
Holding two cups of masala chai, he sits next to her, not too far, not too near.

Leaning by the wall, he passes her a cup, and looks at her. Feeling those amber pairs, she smiles, she shifts a little, a little near towards him.

Taking a sip, she turns towards him, not completely though, nodding her head in approval.

"It's getting better you know"

"The chai?"

"Yes, the chai"

"Well, I'm learning from the best you can say. And slowly I will be there, as best as you are in it."

"So, will I, Zain. One day."

He gives her a questioning look. She laughed, "Everything is all about learning, as you are learning to make the perfect masala chai, I'm learning to let go of the past too. And it's getting better too.
And one day I will be there, as good as you."

"So, you still love him?"

"Maybe, or, maybe not?

I don't know I still love him or not. What I know is I am not in love with him. That part is gone, long forgotten too."

"Are you scared to fall again, Amu?"

"I'm scared to get broken again. I'm scared that maybe I am still looking for his bits and pieces in someone, maybe or maybe not."

"Aren't we all do that Amu?" This time she passes her a questioning look.

".... Aren't we always look for pieces of someone in someone else? Maybe that person is gone, maybe his memories faded, but there are bits and pieces that will always left."

"And I don't even want his remaining in my life too."

"So, what if you fall for someone?"

"Someone?"

"As in me?"
It makes her laugh out loud.

An unsettle reaction fills Zain Amir's face, a known fear, a fear of another rejection.

"Well Zain Amir you are too good to be true."

"That's not an answer Amu."

"Your question is not valid Zainu"

"And why so?"

"Love ruins many things Zain, we lost many things because of love. And I don't want to lose you Zain.

Moreover, you deserve better than, better than me. But that's something we will talk about some day."

"...And what if I lose you one day, do you think I will find you, again?"

"Maybe, or maybe not."

This time Zain gives her an irritated look, giving her a nudge so that she opens her hazel brown orbs.

"If you lose me then there will be a reason, and I don't think I want to be found if I left once.

But because it's you there is high chance that you will find me. Perhaps I'm just not sure if I would want to be found or not."

"...I don't afford that, you know. To lose you."
She looks at him. Zain Amir doesn't afford to lose Amaya Kareem.
A long-gone memory comes up again, but this time it's different.
Way too different.

"So do I." She whispers.

"You are my home."
He says slowly but firmly, letting her know this.

Leaning her back towards him as he engulfs her in a hug from back, she whispers, "...we are good like this."

Kissing her hairs, he sighs, "...we are, but can be better too."

She smiles closing her eyes again, humming,

//Aaj agar bhar aayi hai
Boonde baras jaayengi
Kal kya pata inke liye
Aankhe taras jaayengi
Ho..jaane kab ghum hua kahan khoya
Ek aansoo chhupa ke rakha tha//

Aziz itna hi rakkho ki ji sambhal jae

ab is qadar bhi na chaho ki dam nikal jae

mile hain yun to bahut aao ab milen yun bhi

ki ruh garmi-e-anfas se pighal jae

mohabbaton mein ajab hai dilon ko dhaDka sa

ki jaane kaun kahan rasta badal jae

zahe wo dil jo tamanna-e-taza-tar mein rahe

KHosha wo umr jo KHwabon hi mein bahal jae

main wo charagh sar-e-rahguzar-e-duniya hun

jo apni zat ki tanhaiyon mein jal jae

har ek lahza yahi aarzu yahi hasrat

jo aag dil mein hai wo sher mein bhi Dhal jae

Obaidullah Aleem

Minutes passed, hours passed, the two cups of tea turns to cross the count of ten now, but they sits there in the same way, sometimes in silence, sometimes in lame jokes, in each others embrace they have found home, they found love.

A home they are looking for always but not this time.

As the night falls, a ringtone from Zain's phone makes them move apart, Amaya tries to walk away, but he is not gonna to let her do that.
He holds her wrist,
not too tight,
not too loose.

I am not gonna lose you, an unsaid promise lingers in those amber orbs.

Looking at the screen, he smiles.

"Hello..."

"Well, I'm standing outside for quite some time now, care to open the door my son."

Without wasting another minute Zain opens the brown door, still holding Amu' wrist with his other hand.
On the other side of the corridor stands a man nearly at his early fifties, as Amaya concludes.

This man is not unknown to her, Mirza Amir. As they step towards him, he engulfs Zain in a hug.

"I missed you son"

"I missed you too Baba."

"Not much, I can say."
He says in a teasing tone, pointing towards their intertwined hands.

Taking Amaya in a fatherly hug, he gives her blessing.

On the other hand, she is quite shock, never in her twenty-five summers of life, she had found a father figure close to her, and here she is engulfed in a hug.

"You must me Amaya?"

"Hello Uncle."

"It's Baba to you my child."
Gulping her lump that's formed in throat, she somehow controls her tears.
"Baba..."

"Aren't you being family already Amaya? You gave my son a home away from home. I am your Baba too. And if this man teases you anymore, make sure to beat him from my side too. But for now, can someone let me in please?"

"Yes Baba. please." As Zain take Mirza inside his penthouse, Amaya stays back, letting her tears fall.

Zain Amir had given her yet another thing, she is not asking for.