Killing you in my mind Jenna..... Stabbing you in the face....... Giving you a high five.....In the face........With a chair........Made of steel

As I was imagining me cutting Jenna , Jenna took a seat between me and Channing and ordered a diet drink. Ugh what a fake bitch.

"Hey sweetie pie channnyyy" She said with the most annoying voice I've probably ever heard in my life.

"Oh and I don't want to mention but why is she here?" she said with a whisper but I was close enough to hear it and she was so stupid to calculate this or she did it on purpose.

"Jenna you remember Vanessa from highschool right? We were having a conversation" well thanks Channing I thought you lost your fucking mouth.

"She didn't sound familiar." She said

OH COME ON WE TOOK THE SAME CLASSES FOR 4 YEARS !!! SHE IS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE. GOD. I AM DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO SHUT UP THIS TIME.

"Oh actually I am not surprised that she didn't recognize me, she couldn't even memorize all the words in the alphabet that is not her fault. By the way let me open it up for you, I am the girl that you took the same classes for 4 years. If you remember you couldn't even pass any of them, you even failed in art class and you were so bad at everything but being a slut the principal didn't even bother himself to talk to you because it was too obvious that you were going to continue being a slut so nobody even tried to warn you oh and almost forgot, I got into Berkeley with the highest degree and now you can only earn good money by being a stripper or maid but after I graduate I will have a succesful life. Enjoy your diet drink"

After saying these I stand up, took my purse and my coffee then leave. I didn't even say by to Channing or look at him. I feel like I was at highschool again. Oh god those blackouts they are coming again. My hands started to shake.

These 'shakes' happened every single time when I get a strong anxiety attack, my hands start to sweat,I feel a pressure on my chest and it gets hard do breathe, my eyes start to see everything blurred or black,I get one of those headaches and I call this a 'blackout'. I didn't had one of these in the past 2 years until now.

I sit somewhere and waited for the blackout to end. Oh and I forgot to mention when I have this blackout more than 5 minutes I start to see flashbacks and now it has been 6 minutes. I still couldn't see what was around me I tried to breathe stable but it won't go back to normal.

Here comes the flashbacks

"Jenna would you go to prom with me?"

"WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS A HUGE DEAL VANESSA!!! YOU ARE NOT MY GIRLFRIEND OR ANYTHING!!!"

"Oh I remember you, you are that girl from math class who always assumes that she will get into Berkeley haha what an incredible imagination dear."

"Jenna you look beautiful,you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my entire life."

"I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU EVER AGAIN VANESSA YOU ARE ACTING SO STUPID"

"Whoops sorry I think I dropped all of your homework and walked on it. Uh well sorry"

Is it over? Oh thank goodness it's over okay I should stand up now.

I tried to stand up carefully and yes the 'blackout' was gone. I felt a little wet on my eyes, as I wiped it out I realized they were tears. Suddenly I felt nothing but the desire to cry. I took a deep breath then it started to rain. I felt a little shake from my top to my bottom.
Fuck. I've forgotten my jacket back there at the coffee shop. I walked over there trying not to get wet by the rain. Suddenly a car stopped next to me.

"Need a lift?" Said Channing with a broken voice

"No. Fuck you" I said with a really rough voice and yes I am not regretting it.

"I-I can fix this just get in."

"No. Fuck you."

"You know the coffee shop is closed right?"

"Ugh" I took out my phone and called Penny when she opened there were a lot of noise, she was at a party or something.

"HEYYYYYY BABEEE HOW YA DOIN OH MY GOD JESSIE U JUST VOMIT ON ME EWWWWWWWW EW EW EW EW" Then she hung up

Okay so she was drunk and she had the keys and she won't be home early and I don't have any relatives here in Berkeley. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

"So?" Oh I forgot Channing was there.

I rolled my eyes and get in to the car and said;

"Fuck you"

"You are breaking my heart" he said with a mocking voice

What an asshole....

I looked outside from the window. It was a beautiful night with lots of shining stars and rain. I still wanted to cry because I couldn't cut those images of the flashback I just had.

I sighed and he recognized it.

"Vanessa?"

I took a deep breath, I had a tie on my throat if I tried to talk 100% I'm going to cry so I choose to be quiet.

"Vanessa I love you. You know that right buddy?"

Buddy.......

"Channi-" and I started to cry, I felt like I was pouring all the words on my mind with my tears.

He stopped the car and hugged me.

I definitely needed a hug but not from him so I tried to push him.

"Shhh don't resist. I know you are mad but forget this for now. You can stab me in the face later"

I hugged him tightly and realized that I had nobody but him. My mother died when I was at highschool. I didn't know any of my relatives nor know if they exist. I have no clue about my father and I didn't wanted to know about him. Penny and I didn't know each other well. I just had him. And he broke my heart.

I hugged him while it was raining. We were having a moment and I kept hugging him until I calm down.

"Okay" I said with a crack voice.

"I'm so sorry" He said looking so deep in my eyes.

That 5 second look made me breathless.

He just looked so

deeply.

The rest of the trip went super silent til we arrive to his place.

"Are you coming ?" he said

"Yeah"

We walked to his apartment and Jonah opened the door.

"Hey maaaaaaaaaan" he said yelling until he noticed me

"Fuck! Vanessa?"

"Hey Jonah" I said then we hugged each other. Yes I'm more kind of hugable person.

"Dayum girl you look fineeeeee" He said laughing. Jonah and I used to hang out when we were seniors and we both wanted Berkeley. I don't know if he made it. I don't usually look at the people around me in Berkeley. I just took my classes and go. I don't communicate with people much. Not that I'm a weirdo who gets uncomfortable when talking to people, I just prefer not to. So it is possible that I've not seen him.

"Ahahaha you didn't change much Jonah"

"Come on in guys" he said with a super happy voice

As we walk in Jonah stopped and said;

"Holy shit today my parents had a family reunion thing shit shit I must be going"

"But-" I said then Jonah cut me off.

"So so sorry Vanessa besides you and Channing probably have much to talk about I promise I will see you another time bye" He said rushing through the door

and here I am alone sitting with him. Face-to-face

"You're dating Jenna right?" I said with a tough voice. I needed explanations

"I am not" he said

"You're lying"

"Vanessa are you going to listen to me?" he looked super serious and sexy so I just nodded.

"I am not dating Jenna. I'm just hanging out with her. I don't love her. And I didn't invited her she invited herself. And you have no idea how sorry I am. " I just watched him with zero reactions.

"Anyway. You also have no idea how fucking much I missed you. You are more than a friend. You are my bests buddy. The only person I am super comfortable and gives a shit about my problems. And probably you and Jonah are the only people who give a fuck about me and you don't know how hard times I've been through without you." Then he paused. I felt like he was going to cry so I sat next to him, hugged him tightly and play with his hair. He sneezed.

"God,you're going to get sick" I pushed him to his bedroom and throw pj's at him.

"Wear these I'm going to make you some tea and get in to that fucking bed. I can't handle you getting cold ugh" I said then I rolled my eyes and laughed. He laughed too.

"Okay mommy"

I went to the kitchen and made him some green tea. My head was still stuck on that part where he said 'Im just hanging out with her' what did this even mean? He banged her? Or he get drunk with her? I am not sure. The only thing that I am sure is that I have extremely strong feelings for him and he just friendzones me every time. I went to him with the tea in my hand

When I get in he was in the bed and shirtless. Wow ow. Settle down cowboy. God am I blushing again?

"You are bluSHINGGGGGG" He said and started to laugh maniacly, I laughed at him because this was such a ridiculous and awkward situation.

"Here is your tea Mr. I make fun of my friend because I am half-naked and I look so damn good that she blushed." then I passed the tea to him.

"You said it. Not me" he said and throw a ridiculous smiley face at me.

"I said what?"

"You said that I look so damn good"

"Seriously? Channing? Seriously?" and he started to laugh

I couldn't help but look at his beautiful chest oh good I know I am acting like a total 11-year-old girl but wow. You look dayum fine I should get out of here or I'm going to jump on him.

"Okay go to sleep you little hot mess" I said then winked

"I love it when you call me a hot mess" he said then laughed and I chuckled

omg ARE WE FLIRTING????? IS HE FLIRTING???

"Oh my god stop flirting with me Channing ugh" I said with a really mocking voice while laughing.

"Wait where are you going to sleep?"

"Vampires don't sleep. Night ChanChan" then I closed the door without letting him talk.

I could hear him laugh. What a sweetie.

I went back to the living room and sat on a couch after a few minutes Jonah came in singing N'sync and I laughed.

"Oh my god are you still here? I am so embarrassed right know"

"I WANNA SEE YOU WALK BACK DOOR BABY BYE BYE BYE" I said repeating him.

"Don't you dare make fun of me u lil shit" he said than sat to the other side of the couch

"So did Channing told you?"

"Told me what"

"Fuck"

"Jonah???"

Channing told me what?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HELLO IT'S ME AGAIN UR AUTHOR.

SO I SAID THAT I WAS NOT GOING TO CONTINUE BUT THEN A FRIEND OF MINE TOLD ME THAT MAYBE IF I CONTINUED I COULD GET MORE VIEWS BESIDES I MAY NOT UPDATE IN A WEEK SO JUST INCASE I AM GOING TO POST THIS. I LIKE WRITING SO I WROTE A HELLA LONG CHAPTER AGAIN. HOPE YOU ENJOY AND PLS DO NOT FORGET TO VOTE AND COMMENT

LOVE YA PEANUTSSSS XXXXXXXX