It was a strange experience to watch the Prince leave from his palace grounds. I had seen it happen plenty of times before in the months that I had lived here but I had never been filled with dread before. I looked at the sky and searched for the sign of the Moon. Maybe, I could ask Her to watch over him. It didn't matter if she was real or not, as long as it helped ease my heart.

"He shouldn't go." Aqib came and stood beside him as we stared at the retreating shadows of the men, "At least not without me."

"He needs you here," Laia whispered from behind us and I turned to give her a smile.

"So he shouldn't leave!" Aqib said evidently worried about his friend. 

"Well he did," Laia said matter of factly, "And there is nothing you can do about it. Come, let's go to bed."

Laia took his hand and lead him inside the residential palace. I continued staring at the empty space in front of me while the crickets sang their tune in the background. It had been awkward; our good-bye. After his little confession, the other night, things had been awkward. It was not from his side, it was from mine. I wanted to spend time with him before he left but whenever I came around him, I just could not act normal. If he noticed that, he didn't show.

He had feelings for me, that is what he had said and it was something I could not wrap my head around. He was a prince, he had seen many beautiful noble women around him and yet, he had feelings for me. I knew he was being honest--if there was something that I was sure about Omar was that he was an honest man. But it did not make sense to me -- why?

How was I different than the other women? I sighed, I was not experienced in such matters. I did not know what to think about it. 

I turned away from the gate and walked inside the palace. Instinctively, I climbed the stairs to the third floor and to the Monarch's room. The guards didn't question my disturbing them at odd times, they had grown used to it. 

I entered his dark room and noticed that he was sitting peering out from the window. I walked and sat opposite to him, he looked at him, his eyes dark in the night. He nodded in acknowledgement and looked away.

I placed my hand on top of his cold ones, he turned his head to look at me again, I pointed outside.

He sighed but didn't respond. I remained silent. It depended on him, I was trying to change my tactics again with him. I was trying to let him make his own decision rather than following mine. If he wanted to go outside, he had to tell me. 

"Is that wise?" He finally asked in a low whisper as if afraid that someone would hear him.

I shrugged my shoulder.

"Ask the guards to follow us," He said after a while of silence, "In case I..."

He looked at me hesitantly. I nodded and walked towards the door, I knocked and the guards opened for me. Thinking carefully, I moved my hands pointing at Qamar and me and then making a motion that showed walking. The guard concentrated trying to decipher the meaning and then blinked at me confused. I sighed, racking my brain to show them what I meant. I could ask for Nala or Asad but that would take time. Time enough for Qamar to change his mind.  

"She is telling that we are going out for a walk," Qamar said from behind him, his voice sounded strained and I jumped slightly. I hadn't realised he had followed me. The guard looked at the Monarch perplexed while Qamar stared at his feet, clearly fighting an inner battle, "She wants you to follow us for our safety."

"Yes, your highness." The guard said still in shock.

Qamar nodded and I smiled. He was doing so better now and my mind went back to the time that I had first time met him. It felt a long while back. I was proud of him.

Qamar grabbed a cloak with nervous hands and wrapped it around himself, he eyed me curiously and I nodded. Slowly, both of us stepped outside his room and to his visiting chambers. I could see his eyes roaming around curiously, I wrapped my hand around his arm and we walked from the chambers to the corridor. The guards followed us maintain some distance so that we could have our privacy. Once we were in the corridor, we received odd looks from the patrolling guards but no one tried to stop us. I knew that they would inform Aqib, as was their duty, but it did not matter.

We climbed down the stairs very slowly, his leg muscles were getting used to the movement and I wondered how it felt for him. He must definitely be sore, thanks to the confinement. 

It took us a while but we finally reached the ground floor. Thankfully, he was not trembling but he had pulled me close to him as if I could protect him from whatever that hid in the darkness of his mind. I didn't know if I could but I would fight it, I knew that.

"Take me to the garden." He whispered to me and I nodded. But I was not sure, how would he react when he saw the statue of Queen Iqra and Princess Yusra? Suddenly, I was glad that he had wanted the guards to come. Maybe, he had decided then that he needed to visit the garden.

I lead him outside and we walked as the warm breeze of the night touched our faces. Qamar closed his eyes beside me and we stopped. I could feel his body relax beside me and I could not help but smile.

"I like the smell of the city," He said with his eyes closed, "The smoke, the freshly mowed grass, everything."

I just stood there in silence taking him in. He looked younger under the night sky with his smooth pale skin and long black hair that was tousled. He looked handsome too, he was a different type of handsome than Omar. He was the type that you imagined when stories were told to you when you were young -- brave prince or knight in shining armour.

He inhaled the city air loudly and then opened his eyes to look at me. He did not look like he minded that I was staring at him or maybe he had simply not noticed. His grey eyes looked alive for the first time that I had seen him. He looked alive.

"Take me there." He said. I nodded and pulled him to the left. 

We walked in silence until we reached the gates. The guards who were standing there looked at us mimicking the same reaction of the previous guards.

"Your Highness," One of them said and bowed, the others followed suit. 

Qamar looked at them grimly but did not say anything. Once the gate had opened and we stepped inside, he muttered to himself -- 

"I am king."

It seemed like he was reminding himself that.

We walked from one sculpture to another, stopping as he examined them silently. He did not tell me who was who as Omar had. Maybe, he thought that I already knew - which I did - but I wanted to know his thoughts on the members of his family.

We stopped in front of his father's - Monarch Shams' - sculpture and he finally opened his mouth.

"He would be ashamed of me," Qamar said, "Weak; he would call me weak."

Qamar shook his head and some strands of hair fell on his face. I removed it from his face gently and then he looked at me oddly. 

"Do you love me?" He asked so bluntly that I had to look away because I was blushing. I shook my head.

"So why?" He asked, "Why are you doing this?"

But before I could answer, in any way, he had moved on pulling me along with him. The statue of the Queen and the Princess was covered like the last time we were here. I did not see the point of covering them but it had been. Qamar gazed at it expressionlessly and then untangled his arm from mine and walked towards it to remove the cover. Without my body support, he looked as if he was dragging his lower half. I followed him but he looked like he wanted to do it on his own. The cover slipped from the sculpture and Qamar looked at them. Behind me, I heard the guards move closer, alert. 

"So pretty," I heard him whisper and followed his gaze. He was looking at Yusra. I felt something prick my eyes. 

"I am sorry, baby." He told her moving closer and cupping her cheek with hands, "I am so sorry."

Tears appeared in my eyes and I quickly wiped them away. He was crying too. I could see his eyes glistening under the night sky. 

"Baba should have protected you." He told the princess.

"She knows that." I heard Aqib's voice and I turned suddenly scared. 

No, I shook my head at my friend but Aqib ignored me. He was dressed and a dagger was sheathed in his belt. 

"She knows that and she forgives you, Qamar," Aqib said softly moving towards us. Qamar stared at Aqib expressionlessly. The tears that had appeared had miraculously disappeared too. Suddenly, I could not help but think that four guards won't be enough.

"But do you?" Aqib asked, "Do you forgive yourself?"

"I..." Qamar looked at me helplessly.

"Don't look at Ayah," Aqib said, "I am asking you."

Qamar blinked and then looked at me. Maybe I was imagining it but he seemed to be mouthing the word 'Ayah'. 

"They are dead because of me." Qamar blurted.

"They are dead." Aqib nodded, "But no one is to be blamed."

"They were my responsibility." Qamar's voice was loud this time. I looked between both of them, fearing for both of them.

"She was my sister." Aqib said, "She was my responsibility too."

"Stop." Qamar plead.

"No." Aqib shook his head, "You need to acknowledge the fact that even I lost someone, so did Laia and so did your brother."

"No." Qamar closed his eyes and I inched closer to him. Aqib turned and stopped me with his look.

"Yes," Aqib pressed, "We have given you three years to grieve, Qamar, three years. Everything is changing for the worse and we need our king. We need. Come back."

"I want to." Qamar murmured to himself and then fell on his knees holding his head, "I want to."

"I know," Aqib went to him and fell on his knees too, "But you need to continue fighting the way you are, brother, you are doing so good. Also, you won't be alone; Ayah will be there, I will be there, Omar will be there."

Qamar nodded as he continued to clutch his head. Aqib leaned forward and rested his forehead against Qamar's.

"Just come back." He whispered.