Hey guys it's your girl Tashi.

Look I haven't really been honest to people.... or to myself.....

But I think it's time that I confess, only because people are worried about me.

I didn't want anyone to know or else they would say I act like Hannah Baker from 13 reasons why, but I don't want them thinking of me like that. And I promise I'm not trying to be left or her.

I'm going to start from the beginning.

In kindergarten I was bullied because I was the only one who couldn't talk, not even in Spanish.

1. I was bullied by 3 1st grader boys. One of them gave me a scar on the right cheek with a sharp stick they carved. And I lied to my family saying that I fell and scraped my cheek.

2. After I moved to a different town no one spoke to me, I was all alone. I was known as the annoying Mexican girl. I had no friends, no one had my back. They all thought of me as "miss goodie goodie." And it's been like that all elementary school. But by 3rd grade I made two Mexican friends we called our girl group "The 3 Mexican girls"

3. In 6th grade I broke my leg and on the first day of middle school I was in a weal chair and was in it for 2 months. Everyone in my graduating class pretended they cared and were worried what happened to me so that they wouldn't look bad in front of the teachers. The only one who cared was my two friends.

No one would signed my cast, not even my friends. The only thing people did was hitting my cast to see if I felt any pain on it, but I didn't, but I was still hurting. I wanted so bad to tell people that , I wanted to tell people I was hurting, and that I hated my life, not even my cousins signed it, not even my parents NO ONE! And yes I did get to leave class 5 minutes early for lunch but whenever someone offered to push me to the lunch room they only did it to leave class not just do that they could help me. That's why I always let my friend Jenny take me because she's the only one that was in the same class I was in who cared. But when she moved I was even more hurt that I lost a friend.

The day I was getting my cast off of my leg, my doctor asked me "why didn't you get it signed?" And I lied to him saying "I thought it was awkward having people signing my leg."

When I was on crutches I got pushed, no one helped me carry my books, lunch, backpack, except for my only friend who was left.

After I was able to ditch the crutches I was the only one in PE who couldn't run. I was miserable because I couldn't play soccer, basketball, and run. I limping so much and I hated it. I felt left and was broken for a whole semester.

4. It was 7 grade year I was cheated on by my second bf, and I was depressed because I knew I would never be loved.

5. In summer my 4th bf broke up with me because he was trying to protect me from this stupid diva named Brenda. She was so upset with him and wanted me gone.

Then I had a battle with her. She won the fight and I was unconscious, later that day my friend James found me at the park and called the ambulance.

All I heard at the hospital was the words she said to me "who would ever love a weak short Mexican girl?" And that broke me.

6. When I met Julian and got to know him a little I fell in like with him.

It took me so long to tell him, before I told him he was dating other and more beautiful girls, I was hurt, I cried myself to sleep, I wanted to die. But then I found out one day was that they broke up, Julian was hurt, I was a little happy they broke up but I also felt bad for him.

He was telling me that he was useless but then that when I confessed my love to him. And he asked my out on the day of my sweet 16 .

I want to tell everyone all these pains. But I was too scared.

By the time I turned 15 boys started falling for me. People who treated me poorly started noticing me. I just never told them that I hated them for doing all that bullshit to me.