『 chapter xix: TEN TIMES TERRIBLE. 』

JUNE WAS HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME, AND usually when she was having a good time, it meant she lost all her damn sense. Like, really bad. June felt like the kid she should've been, the kid that despite having a death row sentence, lived and loved. Except of course, to an extent. But as previously mentioned, June lost all her sense when it came to having a good time and whilst splashing Jacob and Seth with water, and writing her name with Lyanna and Star in the sand before Leah came and stomped around with a wicked giggle, she didn't really register the fact that things were sorta perfect. June maybe knew what the hype of going out and hanging with friends was now — instead of working till she died and cheering like some peppy princess that she wasn't. This, the beach and the minimal sun, was living. Her heart ached to know it could be swept up from her soon. The mantra rand in her mind. Soon, soon, soon, soon—

"Hey, kiddies!" Leah announced her superiority with her words as she moved through the waves. She yelled, "Anyone up for some cliff diving?"

"Are you crazy?" Seth screeched, swimming over to his sister, muttering something how their parents would kill them if they died jumping off of the cliffs.

Star snickered, "She is. But I'm down."

June looked to Lyanna to see what she would say, Jacob as well as they all looked at each other hesitantly. In her defense, she was gonna die, but she didn't want it to be as anticlimactic as dying from cliff diving. She had suggested it to Jacob prior, when she spewed things to do. June's eyes trailed up the giant rocks in the distance that they'd be jumping from — maybe Bella should've come, the adrenaline might've surely enabled her to see Edward, so she claims.

"Come on!" Leah grinned at them, insisting. "It's not nearly as bad as it looks, I've done it before, tons of times."

June's voice sounds croaky when she says to Jacob and Lyanna, "I'll go if you guys go."

She watched as Lyanna and Jacob shared a look, June's dread rising as they smiled. She knew they weren't gonna let this opportunity pass them, both still fuzzy from the effects of losing Embry Call as their friend. They were reckless, maybe more so than the willing to die June. Lyanna let out a infectious laugh as she ran over to Leah. June's mind was distracted by Jacobs hand intertwining with hers, the boy giving her a small squeeze of reassurance. June swallows thickly as they went to shore and gathered their belongings in their respective vehicles, readying themselves for the trek up the cliffs. The walk was mainly quiet, except that Seth didn't stop blabbing away to Leah about how he had convinced Harry to let them get a dog but June was too preoccupied by never letting go of Jacob's hand, her other hand holding onto his bicep.

"Come on, slowpokes!" Leah drawled, jokingly, turning to look behind her to where they walked as Seth was in perfect step with his sister. "At this rate, we'll be there by dark."

June rolled her eyes at her friend and looked to Jacob beside her; he was truly a sight. He was getting frustrated she could tell by his long hair blowing in his face with the wind so she tapped him softly as they walked and dangled her hair tie in his face.

Jacob's face brightened, "You're a lifesaver."

"Bend your knees," June tells him. "You're too tall."

Jacob complies, bending his knees as June stands behind him and gathers his thick hair together. She lets her fingers run through his scalp softly as she sees the others continue walking, not minding what she was doing. She smiled when she felt Jacob sigh softly, his blood rushing which she could feel. She gathered it and pulled the hair tie into it, tying it until it was in a bun at the nape of his neck. She kissed his cheek to signal she was done, grabbing his hand again and pulling him along. They run until the reach Leah, the trees moving like them in the strong winds that fly through the brush. The greens of it brought out the blue in her eyes and made them seem wider, if possible. Finally, after a while of trekking though the thick forest area, they reached the top of the cliffs.

"Alright, before we do this," Leah announced loudly, her hands on her hips as she spun to face them all. "Some ground rules we need to lay out; Everyone has to jump. That's the only way you kids are getting down!"

"What if—"

"No excuses!" Leah shook her head.

June looked at all of them in attendance and saw the hesitance and equal excitement flooding their eyes. June thought it could be cool and she didn't want to be a party pooper and make Jacob stay behind with her at the top when he so obviously was ready to leap. She scanned his face with her ultramarine irises, not seeing how Star and Seth took a self preserving step back while Lyanna peaked over the edge.

"Who's first!" A deep voice that wasn't from their group called out behind them.

June knew that voice. She turned to see Sam and his little posse walk up towards them, her eyes shooting to the way Leah's body stiffened immediately and the way Lyanna crosses her arms over her chest. June caught her cousins eyes and he softened, he hadn't seen her in months, but she got an invitation she hadn't wanted to get in the mail the other day. Before June can talk, Lyanna steps forward.

Lyanna crosses her arms in defense of her cousin as she glares darkly at Sam, snapping, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Same reason you're here," Sam replies in that ever calm voice of his, raising a brow at his fiancés cousins tone.

It seems that Jared Cameron hadn't seen the apple of his eyes because he steps out from behind Sam and immediately seems to catch sight of Star, his smile wide, "Star!" He chimes cheerily.

Star, on the other hand, isn't so pleased. "Oh, fuck me." Star growled our, shrugging off her jacket as she glares at Jared. "That's it, guys, I'm going first."

"No," Leah's voice sounded frustrated as she shakes her head and pulls Star back. "I am."

Star doesn't get that Leah wants to get away just as badly because they start bickering about who's going first, which has her eyes rolling. June looked up to Jacob who had been fairly quiet the whole time, his eyes glaring at his former best friend Embry, who was starry eyed as he laid eyes on Lyanna, who took off her jacket as well and handed it to June who's eyes went wide as she realized what Lyanna was going to do, jump first. June shook her head and she tugged on Jacob's hand, jutting her chin over to Lyanna in an attempt to make her stay.

"Lyanna, wait—" Jacob muttered but it made no difference because she was already going over to the edge.

June watched as Lyanna listened to nobody, but reacted as Embry walked up, tugging her back. June watched as Lyanna all but snapped at him to let her go while everyone around them laughed a bit at Embry's attempt to keep Lyanna there. The girl didn't look back and all watched as she jumped into the sea. June's breath caught in her throat as she rushed over, dropping the hoodie she was given to peek over the cliffs edge. Thankfully, she watched as Lyanna's pretty face poked up from the waves and she hollered for those to follow. Leah was second, then Seth and Star. Embry was after them followed by Jared and Paul. All that was left was Jacob and June herself.

You're gonna die anyway, jump— "Hold my hand." Jacob's voice filled her ears. June looked over to him, his awaiting hand outstretched for her. He smiled. "If you don't want to, I'll stay with you—"

"No," June said quickly. "I'm ready. With you, I'm ready."

Jacob's eyes dazzled her. They said nothing more and June shut her eyes as she and Jacob got a running start before she felt the ground beneath her leave. June only opened her eyes when the freezing water hit her toes, engulfing her body in the icy water. June released Jacob's hand and let herself swim underneath the oceans limit. Her eyes, the same color as the water, caught everything. The grayness of the sky didn't affect the life in the sea; June's eyes caught fish and other precious pearls and seashells that she had seen earlier. She stayed swimming deeper and deeper, until she caught sight of something strange in the surroundings she was used to. Red. All she saw was red. She realized too late what it was, where she had seen it before when it seemed to be getting closer. June's mouth opened to let out a silent but deafening underwater scream — Victoria. The red headed mate of James. The one who June made ashes while she still stayed living, if that was even what she was, waiting for her own death. She wouldn't give Victoria the satisfaction. But Victoria was there, right in front of her. June couldn't fight her here, not in he water, she think so. And not when her friends were there, her cousin and the boy she cared for more than anything. Not here, not here, not now, not now! She kept screaming but no one could hear her and the further she tried to swim up, the deeper she seemed to be getting. June shut her eyes, wondering if dying was this easy as closing your eyes and accepting it. Maybe Victoria would take her and leave her friends ... but there was no guarantee of that. Nothing was guaranteed. June's eyes opened, the blue seemingly glowing the ocean waters lights and they gleamed with resilience.

June didn't see the red anymore. All she felt was a hand grab her upper arm and pull her from the water. Lyanna's pretty face was sight she was blessed to see, "You okay?" Her worried voice asked.

June coughed up the water she had consumed when she screamed her life out, "Yeah ..." she said strained, her eyes scanning the shoreline to see if she could see anything red. Anyone else hurt. "I'm fine, I'm just, I ... I'm just a little shaken up that all."

Jacob voice brought her heart to a calming beat, "June!" He cried out in relief. He swam towards them, "Let me take her back to shore."

         Lyanna gave June to Jacob, June relishing the warmth that Jacob seemed to have. She rested her head on his chest as he stood up, peeking behind him only once to see Lyanna and Embry talking. June smiled weakly to herself. She leaned back on Jacob's firm chest. She noticed that the sun had fallen completely and was being replaced by the stars. They were so pretty.

Jacob said nothing until they were on shore and he laid her down on the sand. His toffee eyes scanned her, "Ocean eyes," He asked hesitantly. "You okay? You want me to take to the hospital—"

"Jacob," June assured. "I'm fine."

"You scared me to death," Jacob admitted, his brows furrowed in worry. He knuckled a finger under chin. "You look fine ... you sure you're okay?"

"Terrific."

"June." Jacob asked seriously.

June smiled at him, reaching a hand to rake through his dampened hair that had fallen from its bun when he jumped in the water, "Ten times terrific." She muttered.

   Jacob seemed convinced looking into her eyes because he leaned in and June had no intention of pulling away. It wasn't everyday she got to play some damsel in distress — such a cliche, but she was living for it, sue her she had some kinda bucket list and this was on it. June's mind kept going stop, bitch! stop, stop, stop! and she wasn't stopping. She felt his breath on her lips but before anything, a voice yanked them back from each other.

"June!" Star called out, breathless with her large hazel eyes alert and constantly around her. "Jared's trying to bribe me with skittles — we gotta go before I kiss the damn idiot."

"Going, psycho!" June hollered back.

Jacob helped her up, he pulled her close. "I think you owe me something ..." He trailed off.

"If I remember clearly, Lyanna's the one who pulled me out of the water—" June giggled.

"Yeah, but there are bikes that still need a long ways to go anyway. I do require some payment." Jacob grinned cheekily.

June leaned in quickly, kissing his cheek. "Consider it half paid?" She laughed then moved from his hold, gathering her things and rushing towards Lyanna's car that was next to Leah's truck that has Seth driving and Leah glaring in the passenger seat, Star rushing in to jump in the back.

Lyanna's in her car, pulling out of the driveway, following them as she stops to let June in. The big smile never leaves June's lips the whole drive home.

•—•—•—•

LEAH'S HOUSE WAS A PLACE SHE WAS USED TO staying at, for their dads were constantly either fishing or watching games or barbecuing or hunting — usually all of the above but it had enabled June to stay with Leah a lot, so she kinda idolized the older girl the way that her younger brother Seth looked at Jacob every time he came around. Leah was known to be more easy to anger now, ever since the whole Sam and Emily thing, but she wore her heart on her sleeve which June loved. Leah was beautiful, that was clear, something of what June wished she looked like — she was exotically unique and a clear Quileute girl with eyelashes like feather dusters and her deep skin tone. June was always too light to be fully Quileute but she blended well enough if she hung out with them. And she usually always did, the Clearwater home was her second home, she guessed. She knew the familiar smell of pine coming from the house and the woodsy smell of the fire burning in the fireplace. June was familiar with the cushiony brown couches that had been used for many years.

             Today, June was proud to declare the first official gathering of her friends from the Reservation. Everyone minus Elodie Littlesea would be in attendance since she was grounded for using the car and having a party at her house — Jacob's cousin was know to bring the best parties on the Rez. But Star Levinson, Lyanna Young, and of course Leah would all be there. Bella, much to June's dismay, already accepted to spend the night at Angela Webber's house. So, June was content for the time being.

Usually the Clearwater house was empty with Sue being the impromptu doctor of the Rez and Harry always with Charlie or Billy or Old Quil and Seth always hanging with Brady Fuller or Collin Littlesea, Elodie's little brother. For some reason, though, much to Leah's irritation, Seth decided to stay home while his parents went out for the night. June waved at the porch as Lyanna parked, smiling at the girl who returned her own warm smile with her bag and blankets in her arms.

"Leah's inside," June informed.

Lyanna nods, "Is my uncle home?"

"No," June replied. "They went out but your little cousins here, and his friends."

"I doubt Leah's okay with that." Lyanna laughed.

As soon as Lyanna and June slipped in, June picking up the former, she saw Leah's expression as she had her hands on her hips and smiled at it, "How's it going, Lee?"

Leah scowled as Seth and his friends watched television in the the living room next to them, "Seth and his little friends still don't want to leave." Leah gritted out.

"Dude, they're here!" Collin Littlesea whispered in a obvious volume that had Brady Fuller looking at the Swan girl and Lyanna Young in boyish fascination.

"Wait till Star comes," Lyanna shrugged, smirking. "Maybe she'll scare them away."

At the sound of Star, Brady and Collin stood up quickly, "Did you say Star? As in Star Levinson?" They asked with wide eyes as Seth rolled them.

Before anyone could answer, the door bursted open and somebody in a purple wig styled in a bob cut came in with blankets and a bag at her side. "Here's Johnny!" Star's voice came through. "Time For blood sacrifices and voodoo doll making and calling on the dead."

"We're not doing that," Leah laughed, her mood brightened.

Star deflated as she made her way through and set her things down near the hallway, "Then I might have to leave early." She looked to the younger boys. "Hey kiddos."

Brady gulped as he noticed her, "Seth, maybe we should go bro."

Collin nodded quickly, "Yeah," He agreed as he gestured to Lyanna as well. "She's here, too."

Seth seemed to understand, "Yup, okay!"

"What's that supposed to mean, Collin?" June narrowed her eyes at boy who she had known since he was in diapers. "What's going on?"

Collin stutters, "N-Nothing, June."

"Don't make me tell Elodie to give you a wedgie." June eyed him.

"Awwww," Star held her heart over her hand. "Are they scared of me? They can stay."

"Not you," Brady answered, he and Seth and Collin all heading for the door before Leah shut it and stood in front of it, waiting for an answer. Star looked curious, too.

"Thought you wanted us to leave?!" Seth exclaimed to his sister.

"I do, but you're gonna talk first," Leah said with a pointed look. "Why are you all scrambled now that Star's here?"

The three young boys were clearly intimidated by the four older girls who were all equally beautiful and menacing on their own and combined was a force that the fourteen year olds couldn't handle.

"Okay, it happened yesterday," Seth began, sighing as his friends nodded for him to continue. "We went to the store where Tiffany Call works, to get snacks and stuff." June notices how Lyanna's face falls at the mention of Embry's mother. "And Star was there."

They all looked to Star who shrugged, "Um, I wanted snacks, too?"

"Sam Uley and his friends were there." Collin informed.

Leah's eyes hardened and Seth's did too, in defense of his older sister and the way that Sam Uley treated her and changed her into a person people barely recognized. "So?"

"The guy at the counter kept flirting with her," Brady went on. "Winking at her and stuff."

"I thought he had a twitch ...?" Star frowned. "But yeah, he was gross, kept asking for my number so I gave him the tobacco consumer hotline that was on a poster behind us."

"Well she left and didn't pay attention to Jared but he went up to the cashier guy and threatened him to never look at Star again." Seth said with a wince.

Star rolled her eyes, "Ugh, my shining knight Cameron."

Seth went on, "But the guy wouldn't shut up and he recognized Embry Call or something because the cashier guy had friends that came in too and they were talking about Lyanna, calling her the hot new girl—"

"I'm flattered." Lyanna mumbled dryly.

"Embry didn't like that," Brady shook his head. "Look like he was gonna rip off that guys head. Didn't know you two were a thing ..."

June looked to Lyanna, raising a brow but the girl only looked down and stayed quiet. Seth and Brady and Collin all got the hint and fled the house, shutting the door behind them. June cut the tension off by gesturing the girl's to follow to Leah's room. They all grabbed their stuff and headed down the narrow hallway. Once inside Leah's spacious room, which Harry made from the garage to a room for his eldest daughter, the tension seemed to vanish. Leah turns the radio on and it blares some alt music that fits the vibe they were going for, lowering it to a soft hum that linger below their conversation.

"First order of business!" June clasps her hands together. She points to Star. "This is our first girl's night together, fate has brought us all in this room—yes, Leah, stop mouthing drama queen, I know I am—and this is the start of something beautiful. Okay. Let's start with the funny, aka Star, and then the heavy, with my love Lyanna." She winks to the Makah girl.

Star takes a seat as she lifts her shirt off, changing into a loose t-shirt. "If we talk about Jared, I'm gonna scoop my eyes out with a spoon." She deadpans.

"Is he that terrible?" June smirked.

"Ten times terrible." Star said and the girls laughed.

"Star's in love," Leah chimes as she slips on some pajama shorts. "She even said he's cute."

"In a way," Star relents to the amusement of the other girl's while she sighs. "But he's still annoying. I mean, not super annoying but annoying. He's following me around like he's my mom and always ends where I am, like a stalker, which is aka, the noun and someone who isn't hot enough to be seen with you."

June blinks a bit, curious. "Has he always liked you?"

Star frowns, shaking her head. "Not that I know? But no, he couldn't. I'd see him everyday when we were younger and he was a man whore back then but he never looked my way." She informs. "It was literally all of sudden that day in the diner when I threw my milkshake at him."

"Iconic," Lyanna chimes.

"Aww, thanks," Star beams, then turns to June again. "So, no, I don't think so. It's literally all of a sudden and now he's threatening guys to stop flirting with me?"

"He's whipped then," June concluded.

"I don't know," Star frowns again, biting her lower lip as she looks at her hands in thought. "He's something. It seems more than being just whipped, more than the l word, too."

"Love, Star, say it." Lyanna annunciates. "L-O-V-E."

"If that's the case then Embry Call is in love with you," Star shoots back. "What was that back there, at the cliffs?"

Leah sits down next to Lyanna, her eyes equally interested as she nods to the words of the other girl. "You don't think we missed that, did you, little cousin?"

"None of you ever miss anything," Lyanna says lowly before she recounts Star's words. "And Embry isn't in love with me ... I don't know what he is either, he ignored Jacob and me and Quil for days and didn't answer our calls ... then he comes back and acts like nothing happened."

June feels goosebumps when she thinks of that, "Jacob told me how he's scared he'll be next. How Sam keeps giving him this look that he gave all the others before they started hanging around with him," She recounts the words Jacob told her. "Sam's my cousin ... but I don't want that for him."

"No, you don't," Lyanna says somberly. "Embry shrugs off questions when I confronted him about what went on with him and why he's suddenly one of Sam's little rats."

"Super rats." June grumbled, her face scrunching at the thought of her cousin and his posse. She takes in Lyanna's words. "I wish I could tell you what Sam's been spewing at them to make them follow him like he's the next best thing ... but I can't look at my cousin without wanting to sock him in the face."

"Please do," Leah says lowly.

Lyanna grins softly at her cousins words, "It's weird. The whole thing with them, the way they move like they're all one person." She says with furrowed brows. "Embry's not really himself when he's with them and I hate that."

"I have enough on my plate I don't need one of Sam Uley's rats to try and derail me," Star says with absolution. "My dad's getting out of jail and I need to help him ..."

June felt sympathy; she knew how hard that Star loved her dad and younger sister and she also knew how close Embry and Lyanna had been before he was apart of Sam's group of super rats.

June puts a gentle hand on both girls, "Leah and I are always here," she says sincerely. "Through super rats and social workers, if Embry stays shady, we're all your sun and if Jared doesn't let up, we'll have to ruin his life or something."

At June's words, Star's face lights up significantly and Lyanna's lips curve upward, genuine and not so forced this time. Leah puts her hand on theirs as well, sighing. "Since we're all in heavy and depressing notes, I told June the other day but," Leah says with a small laugh laced with bitterness. "Emily asked me to forgive her, she even ... she sent a invitation."

The three girls listening kept silent for a moment. It was June who spoke, hesitantly, "So its true? They're getting married?"

June knew Sam had changed, but so soon? He'd forget everything Leah and he had so soon? Apparently. She was sick of hearing how her cousin and any boy from that little group kept tearing Leah and Lyanna apart piece by piece. Leah would never say to what extent, but it hurts so much that June doesn't question the smell of liquor on the girls breath. And Lyanna, whom obviously cared for Embry, tried her best to keep a smile whenever his name was said and act like it was burning her from the insides to know what happened to him.

Lyanna's face falls with realization, "Leah ..."

"I shouldn't care," Leah admits lowly, her lashes brushing her cheeks as she looks down. "But I do and it hurts like hell. He stopped loving me but I never ..."

"He didn't deserve you," Star says with a firm voice as she watches the older girl's cheeks sparkle with her tears. "If Emily wanted to stoop that low and get with your ex a few weeks after you broke up, after she knew how much he meant to you, then none of them ever deserved you. And they don't deserve you at their wedding."

Leah didn't say much after, she only nodded at Star's words. The oldest girl pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees, her eyes watery as the three girls went to wrap their arms around her. June never felt a bigger conflict in her heart; she loved Sam, he was her cousin and the one who taught her to ride and bike and stick up for herself. He was the shield for her growing up, Daphne leaving when she was younger broke her little heart but Sam replaced it with his presence. He deserved to be happy. But so did Leah. No one deserves the pain that the Clearwater girl has endured. She just prays, comforting Leah and then later when they've talked until the sun came up, laying down, that Jacob would never put her through anything. June doesn't think she's as strong as them, she just might break, as silly and as simple as a broken heart might sound — June's mind can sorta see where Bella was coming from and why her sisters screams during those nights, were the most painful things she's had ever heard.

note: this chapter was gonna be called icky vicky,,,lmao but yes I love my wolf girls™ and firenations helped a lot with this chapter and how to map it out, don't forget to check her embry fic because it ties with this and lyanna is her smol daughter:)))))BUT IM LIVING FOR JUNCOB THEYRE LIFE