Calix

Impertinent Lady: Lol you know me well XD Yes I'm heading to the library. Even if I do not, I'll just be on this floor. :)

With a smile enough to rot my teeth and affect it with cavities, I switch off my phone and focus my attention back on the lady in front of me. Mrs Isla Rosa, a.k.a, my therapist who isn't quite sneaky in her acts of sending very obvious teasing glances through her glasses.

Isla clears her throat, putting down the phone she was scrolling through earlier before looking straight into my eyes, "Your Royal Highness, I sense something serious. You never request a session when I am just about to get off work."

I smile sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck. "I apologize Mrs Rosa. I just am really...in need of some help."

A knowing smirk appears at the corner of her lips as she pushes the glasses up the bridge of her nose and takes a notepad and pen in her hands. "You have my full attention, Your Royal Highness."

"Well, how should I begin..." I trail off with an awkward chuckle rising up my throat when I remember how I had made the false scenario about a friend and his woman. Well not his woman. Or mine. Or whatever.

My therapist raises an eyebrow, "Is this session going to be about that friend of yours and the mysterious woman once again, Your Royal Highness?"

I gulp, knowing very well it is impossible to escape from those cunning eyes. From what I see, Mrs Isla Rosa probably had everything figured out since the beginning. Especially since she is one of the exclusive people who know about my and Isha's fake relationship, being my therapist. The profession of a detective would've suited her a lot better. Still, I try to test the waters as I answer with scepticism rather than affirmation, "Yes?"

"Your Royal Highness, we are both aware how this friend of yours is you, and that woman he is engaged in a mutual business relationship is Miss Isha Sen."

I cannot help but gulp and laugh more awkwardly than before, "Yes correct about that you are."

"It is time you are finally admitting the untold truth then, it seems Your Royal Highness." Mrs Rosa's voice takes a teasing turn, causing me to flush deeply out of embarrassment. I was never like this before. So easily readable. And so easily expressible.

Isha. Her presence is intoxicating, and I swear to God, her presence alone has changed me and today, I am here to confront my fears. To understand and learn about the emotions I am going through.

"Your Royal Highness, take your time. There is no rush."

"You know Mrs Rosa, you are always so capable of reading my mind that at times I wonder if I had my mother—birth mother, still with me, she would have been quite a bit like you."

"She was," Mrs Rosa smiled. I know she was. Mrs Isla Rosa has been working at the Royal Palace since the time my mother was a maid here. Apparently, they were close friends. It is through Mrs Rosa that I could hear about my mother's life, personality, stories and imagine that she was with me, comforting me. Consoling me.

For all I know, I would have gone to her first to talk about the emotions I have been feeling whenever Isha is around me.

I take in a deep breath before letting the words flow out of me, "Whenever I am in Isha's presence, I feel different."

Mrs Rosa hums, jotting down notes in her notepad, "Please elaborate."

"I...similar to a cardiac arrest."

My therapist frowns, scrunching her eyebrows, "Similar to a cardiac arrest?"

"Yes well, almost. I believe if I were to ever experience a cardiac arrest, it would be like that. My heart pounds fast and hard in my chest, making it very difficult for me to breathe, although in medical terms, I do not actually lose my breaths. Do you understand what I am saying? My blood pressure possibly increases, and certain tingles arise throughout my body, sometimes making me cold and sometimes hot. Like, shivering cold and warm hot. And there is this incomprehensible excitement. A giddiness, elation, whatever you may term it as that constricts my rational thoughts and I...I lose my mind completely. Am I alright? Is this a case of terminal illness, perchance?"

Confusion shrouds me when I see Mrs Rosa controlling her laughter. "I apologize, Your Royal Highness but this matter seems to me as a matter of love."

I scoff. Of course not. There is no way I am in love with Isha. It is simply not possible. It cannot be.

I do not deserve her. Isha is way out of my league.

Mrs Isla Rosa does not stop smiling. "Well Your Royal Highness, I would leave that for you to figure out. But just know this, you definitely do harbour feelings for Miss Sen."

I gulp not believing such a thing equal to the eighth wonder of the world is possible. I shake my head. "I am sure it is just an infatuation. Or a crush—"

"Have you ever shared any moments of intimacy with Miss Sen, if you don't mind me asking, Your Royal Highness?"

Memories of our last two heated, passionate kisses, occupy my mind almost immediately as blood rushes to my cheeks. I clench onto the armrest of the chair before clearing my throat. "Nothing unusual. Just the usual hand holding, embracing and other light pecks here and there required for the media."

"Just for the media? Not anything other than that?"

I curse myself internally. Of course, it is not the truth. Isha and I barely pecked one another's cheek or forehead when we were required to show public affection in front of the media. As for the two kisses that happened after we lost our senses, that was something else.

Just kisses. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Mrs Isla Rosa closes her notepad, the knowing smile not leaving her lips once. "Very well then, Your Royal Highness. I believe I have explained what your emotions are, the rest is up to you to figure out and believe."

"Yes, of course." I stand up in a rush. One more moment here and my therapist will continue to reveal more things that I am not ready to hear. "Excuse me, I have somewhere to be."

And I head out, loosening my tie as warmth engulfs me, despite it being the middle of December. I do not know where my feet are taking me but I soon find myself on the floor where Isha is supposed to be. The library door is locked. She is definitely not there. And Isha does not know the entire Nirvana well to go around on a tour on her own, unless someone escorted her. An unnecessary dread takes over me.

Did she leave already? Of course she can. She doesn't need my permission to leave but it would have been nice to see her after such an exhausting day.

The musical notes of a piano coming from down the hall, enters my ears. Perhaps Carlos is there, like he does whenever he is feeling down about something (I undoubtedly do not care about him, whatsoever). I should've had gone back to my bedchamber but as if on instinct, I walk towards the hall, at the end of the corridor. As if my feet have grown an extra pair of senses.

I wish I hadn't. I wish I had turned back. I wish I had never asked for Isha to wait for me because what I witness in front of me is Isha and Carlos sitting side by side, in front of the piano, as the latter leans close and confesses.

And I know Carlos is not always serious about such genuine emotions but he is also my brother. From what I can see, he seems sincere. Too much that a fear clouds me.

I cannot see Isha's expression but I am sure she is elated. She might even accept his confession. Of course, who wouldn't accept the heartthrob, charming, funny, outgoing, Crown Prince Carlos?

Who would accept the lonely, insecure, anxious, introverted illegitimate Prince Calix?

My hands fumble and I crash into the antique figurine beside me on an architectural table. As the two look at me, my nerves increase and I stammer heavily, controlling the emotions from flowing out of me.

"I apologize for the interruption. Please...please carry on."

I leave. Increasing my pace, I walk faster than ever. Then I jog.

And finally, I run.