[LOL here's the actual chapter 19.

This will be the only update for this week, sorry :(

Hope you enjoy it though...!]

Stay Creepy, My Friends!~

Chapter 19

Reese's POV

A few days later, in the middle of the week, Mom was able to book an appointment for a psychological evaluation at a Wriamont Psychiatric Clinic. Outside, the building had looked warm and somewhat inviting, but stepping in and seeing mostly blues and whites had unsettled me (even though I was supposed to feel relaxed). Since I had the appointment, I was taken to get evaluated immediately after Mom signed in at the front desk.

The clinic had been oddly quiet and walking through the white tiled and sky blue walled halls was almost unreal. Everything about the place just hadn't sat well with me, from the way footsteps echoed too loud to the lighting everywhere I went. Hunter's previous doctor for when he had to take medication was my doctor, and I wondered if the older man ever thought that it was about time I came back.

When I was younger, during the initial four years after my dad had gone to prison and my family and I began a new life, I had to see a psychiatrist a few times. Since my therapy hadn't worked, people recommended I take medication. That didn't work out. For one, pills never seemed to take much affect, and secondly, I just never wanted to take medication. I can still remember those times when Mom tried to coerce me into taking my medicine, saying it would make me feel better. Even with gentle persuasion, I wouldn't take pills. Eventually, I gained a better grip on myself and didn't have to take medication anymore, despite that my relapses became irregular.

So I did the evaluation, which was mostly answering my doctor's many questions with honesty. I was also weighed, had my height measured, my blood pressure taken--the basic medical check-up, but the questions were what was most important. With all of the honesty in the world, I answered all inquiries and my doctor jotted down notes. The evaluation went by quicker than I thought, and I was back in the clinic's lobby with Mom and Hunter in no time. Mom and my doctor talked briefly and he assured he would have a diagnosis after a few more days. After that, we left and I was back to sitting in the back of Mom's car, listening to my music and staring out the window.

The day before the evaluation, a CPS agent ended up dropping by for a bit. He seemed like a cool guy, young and eloquently spoken. Mom was interrogated, as was Hunter and I. After finishing up his list of questions and doing a sweep of the apartment, he deemed the environment stable and left just as quick as he showed up. That's CPS for you.

Meanwhile, as all of this is happening, I'm still going to school, minding my own business and doing all of my work like a normal kid. People still talk about me, about how I got into that fight with crooked-nose Bryce and how I yelled at my counselor like a madman. I don't let any of the gossip affect me. I'm a senior; it's my last year so there's no point in giving a shit about everyone else. And if my graduating class encounters me after school has ended, I still won't care. I don't intend to become some criminal that they should worry about and will end up chatting about later in their lives. Unlike some people, I'm smart enough to not be that much of a dumbass.

Days after my evaluation, just as my psychiatrist promised, he had a diagnosis and I was prescribed Zoloft, a sertraline medication to treat my anxiety, depression, and PTSD. After that was settled, Mom received the prescription from the pharmacy and so my treatment began.

One pill in the morning--25mg. Cup of water. I can't miss a dose. If I do, "bad things" happen (not really, I just miss my dose and my entire schedule for the one medicine bottle gets screwed up). I get into the rhythm of it after a day: take a pill before breakfast, drink some water. Eventually I'm supposed to take 50mg, but that's not for a while. So far, there haven't been immediate effects, but I am gradually becoming more sedated. That's good, I guess. That means the pills are working and I can be less of a rabid animal.

And soon enough another week passes and it's my third week without seeing Ben. Things remain the same: I still drive to school, Mom works at the jewelry store in the local mall, Hunter goes to school and does his work too, the world still spins and the sky is still blue, which I realize isn't actually true. Because the sky turns to shades of gray and black and purple and orange and it's never staying at a stable color. So things aren't always the same, but they're normal enough to live. That's all that really matters at the end of the day.

...

Wednesday comes up and I go to Artem's shop. When I walk in, I find Artem with his back turned to me, talking to another person. I would check to see who it is, but from experience I know not to bother Artem when he's with a customer. Casually, I saunter towards the office to grab my uniform, and then a voice chimes, "Oh, hi Reese!"

It isn't Artem, because the ruski doesn't say hello and he definitely doesn't have a feminine voice.

I turn around and the woman named Angel that came by last week was looking back at me. She waved at me with a relaxed hand and I waved back.

"It's good to see you came back after all," I remarked as I came to stand next to Artem.

"You make it seem like I wasn't interested in the first place," she replied, smirking.

"Well, I wasn't sure how appealing working at an auto shop would be to someone else," I said truthfully. Artem flashed me a look and I pretended not to notice.

"So are you going to work here?" I asked her.

She smiled. "Ask your boss, not me."

The Russian man cleared his throat as I turned to look at him and he said, "Angel came by yesterday with her application and I looked over it. I do plan to give her a position, but I'd like to allow her the chance at settling herself in Wriamont first before she officially works."

"Sounds agreeable," I commented.

"Yes. I also invited her today so that she could observe us and see how the shop runs," he added.

"Cool."

He tapped my chest with his knuckles. "I expect you to be on your best behavior, soplyak."

Raising my hands, I replied, "Of course, sir. Anything for you, sir."

"Get changed," he grumbled, while Angel chuckled to herself.

Minutes later, I was clad in my mechanic uniform, working on another oil change. Angel stood to the side, watching me silently. I glanced at her, taking in her short, slim figure and her dark clothes. As I worked on loosening the oil plug, I spoke up, "I usually get uncomfortable when people watch me."

Out of the corner of my eye, she tensed up and took a step back. "Sorry. Should I...?"

"Just talk to me," I said. "That takes the tension away."

"Okay...," she mumbled and paused to think. She began, "How old are you?"

"Seventeen," I answered.

"Really? You seemed older."

"It's the scars," I retorted nonchalantly. "And you?"

"Nineteen."

"Really? You seemed older," I remarked, repeating what she said.

She smiled, knowing what I did, and responded, "It's the eyepatch. And the scars."

"How'd you get yours?"

"Well, you're straightforward."

I smirked. "It's a given. Did I offend?"

"No, it's fine. I got my scars from fights."

"Fights?"

She nodded. "Um, I wasn't exactly a model student in school, I guess. Trouble always found me somehow."

"Interesting. I can definitely relate."

"Yeah? Do you get in trouble too?"

"More times than I would like," I retorted. "People just can't seem to keep their hands off me."

"That's usually a line meant for more, um, positive things," she said, chuckling.

"Pfft, if I wasn't not irresistible before my scars, I am now."

"Don't say that. It's pertinent to be confident in your looks."

"Oh, you're sweet," I complimented in that cliché, preppy voice.

Angel laughed. "Okay then, what about your scars? How'd you get them?"

"One of those monsters that are running about attacked me," I answered as I finally popped off the oil plug and let the oil fall into a container. As it drained, I looked over at Angel to see her expression was one of awe. I figured she wasn't fascinated by my awesome oil changing skills.

"That's terrifying. Rarely anyone survives them, I've heard," she said reluctantly.

With a smile, I shrugged. "I'm one of the rare ones."

"What happened to it afterwards?"

"Nothing. I killed it."

A pause of silence. Angel stared at me. "You...killed one of those things?"

"Yup."

Another pause of silence. More staring. "That's impressive. Especially for someone like you..."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "What do you mean by that?"

Angel's eyes widened and she pulled a nervous smile. "I don't say that to be mean...! It's just, well, you're still a kid. Although people your age tend to have enough strength and energy, it's still daunting to fight a monster, let alone kill one."

"Well, people tend to do pretty daunting things when their life is at stake," I stated.

She chuckled quietly. "I can't argue with that."

After all of the oil was drained, I set the container aside and reached up to screw the oil plug back in place. As I did that and put a new filter, I asked, "And, what about your eye?"

Angel reached up to her face to adjust the eyepatch and answered, "Eh, lost it."

I froze. "It isn't there anymore?"

"Nah."

I was a little concerned over her nonchalance. Then again, I was nonchalant too, so I guess I can't complain.

"What happened?" I inquired.

"Mmm...accident... Damaged it. Had to get rid of it. Just that."

"Gruesome."

"I know right."

"You're pretty chill for someone I've barely met," I remarked.

"Thanks. Same to you."

"Thanks." Once everything was set up and fixed, I walked out from under the car and pulled the lever to lower it down from the lift. After the car was placed onto the cement floor, I opened up the hood to put new oil.

"What brings you to Wriamont, Angel?" I asked randomly.

She shrugged. "Wanted to move away, start a new life, all of that sappy stuff."

"Are you alone here?"

She nodded. "I'm on my own."

"That must be hard," I murmured.

She flashed me a gentle smile. "It can be, yeah. Days get stressful, lonely and boring, you know. Hopefully it won't be like that for long once I make enough money."

"Big plans, huh."

"Mmm-hmmm." Then her voice lowered and she looked at the ground. "I have a fiancé who's living somewhere else right now. Once I secure myself, I plan to move again so we can be together."

It wasn't until she mentioned "fiancé" did I notice the rings on her left hand. Both of them were designed in the style of wedding rings, and sparkled with silver and blue. I wondered why she had the two, but then decided I shouldn't be nosy. "That sounds great. I hope the two of you get together soon and live happily," I said, genuinely.

Angel was slightly taken aback, but in a good way, and then smiled as a blush colored her pale cheeks. "Yeah, me too."

Our chatting went on for a few more minutes until she went to go talk with Artem. It was so strange hearing her call him Mr. Kuznetsov, since I'm so used to the names I call him. Even when I started working here I called him by his first name. Although he hadn't appreciated that, he stopped bothering to correct me all the time and we got used to it.

Eventually, my work shift came to an end and I had to get changed and head out to the Chevelle. Before I left, I talked with Angel for a bit.

"I hope you enjoyed what you saw today," I told her.

"Yes, I had a great time. I'll definitely be looking forward to working here. Just don't make fun of me if I can't seem to fix a car correctly," she said.

"Oh, don't worry. You'll get into a rhythm, and I'll help."

"Thank you. I'll be seeing you some other time then. Get home safe..!"

I nodded. "You, too." Then we shook hands and went our separate ways: me to the Chevelle, her back inside the shop to probably talk with Artem. I hopped into the black muscle car and started up the engine. As I grabbed onto the shift stick to reverse out of parking, I glanced at the silly, green, fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view mirror. With a sigh, I backed out and exited the parking lot to go home.

...

It's Thursday. No work today, just a straight shot home. I didn't feel like hanging out in the apartment after I ate dinner. So, once my stomach was settled and everything was calm, I went to Hunter's bedroom and knocked on his door. A muffled "come in" sounded from behind the door and I opened it.

Hesitantly, I poked my head in and saw Hunter sitting in bed, a college textbook and papers lying in front of him. He looked up at me and greeted normally, "Hey."

"Hey..." I fully stepped into the room though left the door ajar. Staring at his textbooks, I murmured, "Studying?"

"Sadly, yes," he remarked with a sigh.

"What class?"

"Biology. Got an exam coming up next week."

"Ah, biology..." And then I proceeded to not finish my sentence, because what the hell do I know about college biology.

"Listen," I started, "do you want to go out for ice cream or something...?"

Hunter stared at me. "Uh, sure. What's the occasion?"

I shrugged. "Just wanna get ice cream. I'll pay."

He chuckled quietly and replied, "Alright. Let me put my shoes on first."

While he got ready, so did I. In my room, I made sure I had enough money with me, and jingled the Chevelle keys in my jacket pocket. Once Hunter came out of his room, I dropped by Mom's to ask her if she wanted ice cream. She said to get her a pint from the store and gave me five bucks to use. With that, Hunter and I said goodbye and then we left the apartment.

The car ride would have been awkward if Hunter didn't turn on the radio to listen to music. I was glad he did, so that my nervous thoughts wouldn't be yelling at me throughout the eight minute drive to the nearest Dairy Queen. When we got there, I parked the Chevelle so that we could eat at the restaurant. Hunter seemed a little puzzled about this but didn't complain.

We walked in and went straight for the counter as there was no line. I gave our orders to the employee, then paid, and after a few minutes we got our ice creams. I led Hunter outside to the vacant patio so we could eat there. Barely anyone was inside, but I still wanted to sit with Hunter, just him and I and our ice creams.

"Thanks for buying," he said before taking a spoonful of minty Oreo soft serve into his mouth. Despite that I had gotten my favorite (turtle pecan cluster), I couldn't bring myself to scarf it down like I usually would. I was too busy thinking about what I was about to do to care.

"Hey," I began. Hunter looked up at me after either staring into his ice cream cup or at the patio decor. Twisting my spoon around in my soft serve, I continued, "I realize that I never apologized for our fight last week."

"Well, we were busy," he commented.

"Regardless if we were all busy, I should've said sorry. Not just for arguing with you, but for being an overall asshole." There was a pause of silence between us as Hunter only sat and stared at me.

Clutching some napkins in my hand, I admitted, "I'm sorry, Hunter. For getting into that fight; for arguing with you, for ever being a jerk to you. You don't deserve to have to put up with my shit just because I can't handle it myself. I never mean to hurt you, I swear, but sometimes I get so anxious about being a disappointment that I can't help but shut people out to lessen the pain, ya know. Unfortunately, you end up being one of those people, and that isn't fair.

"You work so hard. I mean, you were practically buried in papers when I came into your room. You handle two jobs, and school, and me, all at once, and it isn't fair that I stress you out. You're, like, the best brother ever and I suck at remembering that everyday. No, every second of my waking hours. Sometimes you make me envious of how good of a person you are--no joke. And I'm trying to work hard at school, just like you, because I know that'll make you and Mom happy. Although I fuck things up so much, that's all I ever really want: you all's happiness. Because if you're content with me then maybe I can be, too...ya know. Maybe I can learn to...I don't know...love myself? I suck at this, sorry."

I stopped talking to allow Hunter a turn at speaking. When he didn't utter a word, I awkwardly cleared my throat and said, "Okay, well, yeah, I apologize for all of the stupid shit I do. You're a wonderful human being, and I'm, like, that one kid with a white cone on his head that has dumbass written in colorful Sharpie pen..."

My hands began shaking and I clutched the napkins tight to make them stop. My chest felt tight as I stared down at my slowly melting ice cream.

"....I'm so sorry, Hunter. For everything. Especially our younger years. If I had been stronger and done the right things, maybe you could've lived a better life. Maybe you'd be able to study engineering in Chicago, like you wanted. Maybe you'd be much more happier and less stressed. Maybe you'd be prouder of me. I don't know. There are a lot of things that I could've done better, but I didn't, so I'm trying to do the best I can now but I guess that isn't working.

"Something else I really ever want is the day when all of my problems don't affect me anymore, that way you and Mom can see me all happy and be proud of me, of how far I've come. That's what I want most. That day is far from now, I know, but I still want to cling to it. I'll cling to it if it means you can be proud of me."

Finally, I stopped and kept my gaze down to my ice cream, which melted a little more. Patiently, I remained quiet and waited for Hunter to tell me something. When he never said anything, I looked up at him to see what was wrong. I felt my chest pang hard for a brief moment the second I saw tears in his warm, chocolate brown eyes. He held his hand against his mouth, trying to keep everything in but he was failing horribly (he always fails, he's the emotional one). Suddenly, I felt awkward because it seemed like I was supposed to comfort him or something but I wasn't sure how. So as I panicked internally, he kept crying, which only made my panic worse.

After excessively contemplating what to do, I leaned over a few inches and said, "Hey, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. Do you want more ice cream?"

Suddenly, a sob racked his shoulders and I flinched.

"Is that a no?"

Hunter shook his head and pulled his hand away from his mouth only to reveal the beginnings of an ear-to-ear grin. For a moment, I was confused. All of a sudden, Hunter grabbed onto my jacket sleeve and tugged me towards him. With a yelp, I bumped into his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. I groaned for a few seconds before I adjusted to his big bear-hug.

Hunter rested his head on top of mine, sniffling and swaying with me slightly. Gently, I clutched onto the back of his shirt and relaxed into his embrace. From my place, I could faintly hear his heartbeat and closed my eyes. Quietly, against my head, he croaked past his tears, "Don't be sorry for anything in our past. Don't be sorry for being you--for being human. No matter what, I'll always love you and be proud of you, so don't tell me you're not happy with who you are. Yeah, sometimes you worry me, but that's because you mean everything to me. So don't feel like me stressing over you is a bad thing, okay? I do everything I do now because I love you. Same goes for Mom. We do what we do because we care. You're never a burden, Reese. You're you and that's such an amazing, beautiful thing. Understand that, okay?"

When there was a pause, I figured it was my turn to say something and murmured, "Okay..."

"Good. Remember that every day. Remember that you're a good kid every time you look at yourself in the mirror. Please, if not for yourself then for me, and Mom, and anyone else you'll come to love."

"Okay..."

"Swear."

"Okay, I swear."

Again, he sniffled and squeezed me tighter than he already had been. Despite that I was slowly being suffocated, I kept hugging onto him and listening to his heartbeat. It was such a strong pulse and I think I could probably listen to it all day but eventually Hunter let's go of me to let me breathe.

When I looked back up at him, his lightly-tan cheeks are glistening with tears. He grabs the napkins I was crumpling up to clean his face and blow his nose. I chuckled and murmured, "Gross, dude."

"I know, dude," he replied, his voice still affected by tears.

I glanced at our ice creams and said, "Well, those are melted."

"I can buy us new ones," he retorted.

"Nah, it's alright. We can just take 'em home and freeze 'em."

"They won't taste as good, though."

"I'll still eat," I deadpanned. Hunter just chuckled and finished cleaning his face. Although his eyes were a little puffy and his nose a little red, he looked happier.

"Thank god no one was out here to see me cry like a blubber-baby," he said, grinning bashfully.

"It's okay. Your blubber-baby secret is safe with me."

With a sigh, he looked down at me, then hooked his arm around me to pull me in for a less-beary hug. Shaking my shoulder, he said, "You're forgiven for the argument, little brother."

"Thanks, blubber-baby brother."

"Stop it," he whined and I laughed.

"C'mon, we should go home," he stated as he got up. I followed his lead, holding onto my cup full of mostly melted ice cream. We left through the restaurant and got back to the Chevelle. Hunter hopped into the passenger's seat again and I took to the steering wheel. Before we went home, I made a quick stop at a store to buy Mom that pint of ice cream she wanted. After that, we finally went home and Hunter said for me to hang in his room so we could play a few rounds on the NES. I asked him about his studying and he simply replied with, "Fuck it, it can wait."

On a school night, he and I stayed up until 1am, playing nothing but old NES games like Street Fighter, Mario Bros, Kirby, etc. and eventually we crashed out on the floor, just like old times.

...

Friday held nothing special except for a new essay assignment for English due a week and a half later. When the final bell rang, I was looking forward to just getting work over with and going home. The combination of staying up late with my eyes pasted to the TV screen and then sleeping on the floor all night hadn't exactly boded well for me in the morning. All I really wanted was more (proper) rest.

As I walked out of my last classroom, someone tapped my shoulder and I turned around. A random student in my senior class looked up at me, clutching something in her hands but I couldn't see it.

"You're Reese, right?" she asked.

"Yeah."

She gave me a soft smile and held her hands out. "Okay, cool. When I was coming back to school from lunch, some random guy gave me this and asked me to give this to you. He said it was really important."

Confused, I looked down at her hands to see the orange wrapper of a Reese's peanut butter cup candy. A rush of excitement shot through me and the girl added, "There's a note you have to read."

When I grabbed the candy, there was a taped, folded paper on the back. I was tempted to read it right then and there, but I would much rather wait until I have space to do so. "Thanks," I told the student.

"No problem," she chimed and went on her way out of the building. Once the hallway was cleared out and only a few people were walking, I tucked myself into a corner and opened the note.

Roses are red
I suck at rhyming
Go to the car there's something there for you
:)

I felt my stomach twist from my anticipation, and stuffed the peanut butter and chocolate candy in my jacket pocket. Quickly, I ran out of the building and headed for student parking. As soon as I spotted the back of the Chevelle, I sprinted faster and nearly ended up tripping over my own feet when I stopped. Panting, I ran to the driver's side door and fumbled to take out my keys, but then spotted a paper slipped under one of the windshield wipers. At first, I frowned thinking it was some sort of ticket or measly flier. I was corrected when I plucked it up and read the paper.

Violets are blue
Actually they're not because they're the color of their name like I don't know why people thought it was a good-ass idea to call violets blue when the color is their name like tf
Anyway, I still suck at rhyming so pop open the glove box
:)

With a chuckle, I put the note in my pocket with the candy in it and pulled out the car keys. I carelessly tossed my backpack inside and plopped into the driver's seat. Once I slammed the door, I reached over and opened the glove box. It was mostly empty save for a few papers, random packs of gum with no gum (not mine), and a box of Reese's Pieces. I took it out and found another note on the back.

Bananas are yellow
You're a neat fellow
Uhh, there's something at your apartment door that's super cool like...Othello?
(Eh, I take that back. Othello had a shit ton of tragedy and was overall a not-so-rad time.)
Haha, go home.
:)

My hands were working to start the engine and reverse out of the parking space by the time I finished reading the note. Never have I been more frustrated getting out of student parking right after school has ended; the place was a damn mess of teens who didn't know when to stop or go.

As soon as I had a clear shot out of the lot, I took it and finally got to the main street. I tried my best not to speed as I made my way back to my apartment building, but my nerves were racing the entire time. It wasn't until I got to the apartment complex's parking lot did I remember I had work to go to. Shit, Artem's gonna be pissed at me and I don't even have a proper excuse to get off the hook.

Fuck it.

I practically tumbled out of the Chevelle, forgetting about my backpack completely. The second after I locked the vehicle, I jumped onto and slid across the front hood to get to the other side. Fortunately, when I burst through the front doors of the building, no one was around to take a hit and I B-lined to the elevator. I practically rammed my hand into the call button and when it didn't respond for a second, I went for the door to the stairwell. But when I opened the door, the elevator dinged behind me and I had to do an awkward twist to turn around.

The elevator ride was so unbearably quiet and it felt longer to get up to my floor than it ever has in the ten years I've lived here. My anticipation accumulated and was ready to completely combust me from the inside-out. As soon as the elevator doors opened, I dashed forward and shoved my way through. The hallway was filled with nothing but my frantic, heavy footsteps as I sprinted towards my apartment. A note was taped to the door, just below the peephole, and I yanked it off to read as soon as I arrived.

I've ran out of things to tell you the color of even though it's blatant common sense to already know the colors of things so I shouldn't have to be a condescending cu--
CUCUMBER (???)
I don't know, but go into the apartment! Maybe get some breakfast?
:)

I took out my keys again to unlock the door, and as soon as it was open, I barged in. Mom's keys weren't by the door, meaning she wasn't here, and Hunter was going to hang out at the college library to study. It was just me, so I could bolt straight to my room with reckless abandon. I nearly ran into the back of the hallway to get to my room, and turned the doorknob with more force than necessary. Panting, I jumped in and swung the door against the wall (or the stopper). And from one moment to the next, I stopped panting, stopped breathing, once I laid my eyes on him.

Ben sat up on my bed, looking startled, messing with the big teddy bear sitting by the foot of my bed (just like the second time he showed up here). He looked normal, and not human-form-normal, but normal-normal; he was his real-self-normal. He smiled at me and said, "Reese! I-I wasn't expecting you to come to your room so soon! I, like, left this note in the kitchen for you with a Reese's Puffs box and it had this great joke. You should've read it--."

I cut him off by running up and tackling him over onto the bed, wrapping him up in a tight hug. The blonde wraith groaned under me but didn't attempt to slip away. Instead, he placed his hands on my back in a gentle manner and chuckled next to my ear.

He's back. After three weeks, he's finally back. Here. Right here. In my arms. And my heart's racing from all of my running, and I'm trying to control my breathing so I wouldn't make him uncomfortable, and I just can't seem to hold him tight enough, and my heart is still racing. He came back.

"Are you okay...?" he asked me quietly.

Trembling, I clutched onto him more to calm myself and murmured, "I am now..."

...

After keeping him trapped in my embrace for a few minutes, I finally released him and the two of us sat on my bed, leaning against the wall, side by side. There was silence between us, but not the unnerving kind; it was the silence that comes up when the atmosphere is peaceful and content. When I wasn't staring at his wiggling feet, I stared at his hands, and then the pattern repeated itself. I wondered if he was thinking about anything, like what could've happened in my life within three weeks to make me leap at him. I know I kept thinking about what he must have been doing. I figured I shouldn't ask him about anything like that. He's made it clear he doesn't want to associate anything he does with me, so I won't make him talk about sensitive things.

"You have work today, right?" he suddenly asked, disturbing the silence in the room. I nodded. He gasped and said, "Ah, crap. I forgot! Sorry I pulled you away from that."

"It's okay. I didn't even think twice about work when I got your first note." And at the mention of the note, I dug into my jacket pocket to take out everything. The Reese's peanut butter cup candy sat in my hands and Ben chuckled.

"You know, I actually don't like Reese's brand stuff," I confessed.

Ben flashed me a dumbfounded expression. "Really?"

"Yeah. I'll probably still eat the candy, though," I said, and he chuckled.

"Hey," he started, touching my arm, "I'm so sorry for being away and never answering your calls and texts. I-I got so busy and I ended up forgetting about my phone. By the time I could come back to it, it had been dead so when I charged it and saw all of the notifications I knew I had to come back immediately."

"It's okay," I said.

"No, it isn't," he mumbled. "I promised you I'd stick around, and I screwed up big time. Again."

"It's understandable. I heard what happened in Cincinnati. I figured you left because of that."

"I did...," he replied, and a sudden somberness invaded his demeanor. I was tempted to ask what happened, but remembered not to get involved, so I just asked, "Are you alright?"

He nodded. "Of course. Things just got really stressful back at home, is all. Needless to say, I definitely needed some time away from it all once everything mellowed out."

"I'm glad you can take a break," I said.

He smirked. "Especially if it's with you, huh?"

Managing a smile, I replied, "Yes. Especially."

And then it was quiet again. I kept staring at Ben's feet, which stopped wiggling, and at his hands, which messed with the hem of his--my--green hoodie. I never realized until now that he had kept it since the time I gave it to him. I didn't feel like asking him about it. There's enough jackets and hoodies in my closet anyway.

"Reese," he said, and it felt nice hearing him call my name. I looked up to meet his gaze as he asked, "What's been going on with you?"

Everything that has happened since he left came rushing back to me in a hurry, and I clenched my hands. I bit my lip, nervous to speak, to talk about what I've been through the past three weeks. But when Ben called my name again and I looked at him, my nerves calmed down and I unclenched my hands from fists. His red and black eyes gleamed with a softness that reassured me. Patience was clear on his face and I inhaled deeply.

For the next ten minutes or so, I told him everything: the nightmare I had of my father, the fight at school, my argument with my school counselor, my argument with Hunter, my new psychiatric treatment and the CPS thing. I told him everything, in as much detail as I could remember, or as much as I could bear to talk about. Ben listened the entire time, keeping quiet even when I paused to catch my breath or think. And when I finally stopped explaining for real, I just leaned my head against the wall and waited for Ben to respond.

His warm fingers brushed against mine and I fumbled slightly to hold onto them. It wasn't until he squeezed my fingers did I notice my hands were shaking. A few seconds later, they stopped, only twitching every few seconds. I looked up at him again, staring into his red and black eyes that radiated a kind-hearted temper. For what seemed like forever, I stared back at him, feeling the warmth through his nimble fingers. Suddenly, there was a pain in my chest and my temples ached and my throat tightened. And, like ocean waves in a violent storm, I felt everything crash down into me.

Without warning, I leaned forward to press my face against his chest and cry. The tears fell hard and I could feel the fabric of his hoodie dampen wherever they touched. My shoulders shook violently as I sobbed and tried to restrain my crying, but it was useless. I trembled in Ben's hold, and he finally wrapped his arms around me. One hand held my head, brushing my hair with a delicate touch, and the other rubbed my back. All of my stress and anger and sadness poured out of me in this one moment and I was almost overwhelmed by my own self. I haven't cried this hard since I was a child, and never to anyone else but Mom and Hunter.

Several minutes went by with me sobbing and muttering incoherent nonsense. Ben held me through it all, hugging me so close that I could feel nothing but his warmth. I didn't want to listen to myself cry, and especially didn't want anyone else hearing me, but at this point it was too late to play it cool. After a while, my crying grew quieter, but I still uttered minor whimpers.

"Why do I have to be this way?" I whimpered feebly. "I keep trying to be better, but nothing ever works out, and then I get stressed and become even more of a fuck-up. Everyone else besides Hunter, and Mom, and Artem make me out like I'm crazy, and maybe I am. At least then everything would make sense and life would be easier, and I'd have a better time being content with who I am. But right now I'm a fucking idiot who can't even seem to get his shit together to save his life."

Ben kept brushing my hair and leaned in so his jaw pressed against the side of my head. "Reese..."

I want to keep hearing him call me. "I feel so stupid, and frustrated, and worthless..."

"Reese..."

Keep calling me. "What's worse is that I think maybe I'm acting like my dad. I'm being a lunatic and an asshole to the people closest to me."

"Reese..."

Please. Call me out of my head. "I don't want to be like my dad. I-I don't want to be a monster. I just want to be happy."

"Don't talk anymore," Ben commanded softly and pushed my head into the crook of his neck. I closed my eyes, taking in how cool his skin was and how his hair tickled my forehead. Here, I rode out the rest of my sobbing, giving up on being mindful of Ben's discomfort, if he had any.

After holding me, he took in a breath and said, "Reese, you'll never end up like your father. Don't ever say that or else you'll make yourself believe it more. You shouldn't give in to your dad's lingering influence. Fight it. Fight it with all of the fight you have in you. You're strong, Reese, and capable, and so smart. Fight the monster, but be accepting of your flaws, too. That's how you can carry on.

"Also, being crazy doesn't mean you're a terrible person; it just means people have a harder time understanding you. Now, I can't solve all of your problems and make you feel completely better. I'm me, not you, but what I can do is understand you and help you to love yourself. You deserve all of the self-worth in the world and I want you to realize that. I'll help you find your happiness."

I sniffled. "Yeah...?"

"Yes," he said.

Suddenly, Artem's advice came back to me from someplace in my mind faraway. Be selfish, be bold, as long you're honest.

Clutching onto Ben's hoodie, I muttered, "Promise me, then. That you'll help me. That you'll always understand me."

He chuckled quietly. "Of course I will."

"Promise," I demanded and looked up at him. The warm light in his eyes faded slightly as soon as he saw the severity in my expression. But it was only for a brief moment before the light came back and he smiled.

He stopped holding my head to cross his finger over his chest. "Until the day I die via sickness, blood loss, decapitation and more." And then he winked. It was the best wink he's given me so far and I couldn't help but smile.

After a while, I stopped crying, but Ben didn't let me go and I never asked him to. From where I was, my head against his chest, I imagined I'd hear his heartbeat. But he's a ghost so maybe he doesn't have one, has no need? Still, I asked, "You don't have a heartbeat, do you?"

"Sure I do," he replied, and proceeded to imitate the sound of a heart thumping. I gave him a look and he laughed.

"There's my answer," I murmured, then placed my head back against his chest. Ben's fingers cupped over my left ear, holding me closer, cradling me. All of a sudden, a gentle thum-thum sounded in my ear and I widened my eyes with surprise. Wordlessly, I held onto him, wanting to keep hearing that heartbeat, and Ben simply retorted, "There's your answer."

After a few more minutes of listening to the heartbeat he made for me and resting in his arms, I admitted in a murmur, "I feel like crashing out...."

"You can do that," Ben replied.

I furrowed my brows. "I wanted to do something with you, like play video games or something else that I can't think of right now...."

"There's always tomorrow, and the day after that. And after that."

"That'll be Monday. I have school then."

"After school."

"I have work after that."

"After work? Look, let's not worry about that right now. You can crash and I'll be here."

"You sure?"

"Yes, yes, yes," he urged me.

I pulled away so that I could nap, but then felt awkward without listening to Ben's heartbeat. I wanted to hear it, and feel his warmth along with. So, without a word, I grabbed onto the collar of his hoodie, tossed him back onto the bed, then fell over him. He groaned momentarily but didn't utter a complain. Once I got comfortable, I closed my eyes to rest, listening to Ben's heartbeat in my ear so it could calm me down. A few seconds later, he placed his hand on my head again and gently scratched. All of the sadness and stress and anger I've had buried deep into my body faded away, leaving me with only placid exhaustion.

Breaking the silence, Ben whispered, "Those stars up there--I always noticed them when I'm in here but never got to ask about them."

Tiredly, I mumbled, "I've had them up there for ten years now. They don't glow anymore..."

"That's a bummer. Why do you still keep them up?"

Tightening my hold on him, I answered, "I've always wanted them when I was younger, but my dad had never let me. They're a reminder that things are better now. Well, to some degree, but still better."

With a short chuckle, he brushed my hair back and said, "Those stars seem to shine brighter to me now that I know what they mean to you."

"Mmm-hmmm..."

"Get some rest, my peanut butter cup," he whispered, scratching my head again.

Eventually, Ben's heartbeat, and the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, and his warmth lulled me to sleep, and I finally felt relief after these excruciating three weeks.

...

Ben's POV

He was out cold within a few minutes. His eyes were closed and still a little puffy from crying. I kept paying attention to the way my arm rose with him as he breathed. He had a bruise on his jaw, probably from that fight he told me about, and I felt upset knowing anyone would want to hurt him at all.

Everything about this current situation seemed so unbelievably perfect. Reese is sleeping peacefully in my arms after having confided in me all of his problems and trusting me enough cry in front of me. His arms were still hugging me so tight, one wrapped around my side and the other tucked in between us. He's laying here, willingly in my arms, willingly letting me hug him and comfort him. I couldn't seem to stop stroking his dark blonde hair, even long after he had fallen asleep. In this state, he's unburdened and relaxed and I wished he could be the same when he's awake. And dammit he's so adorable and too precious for me. I don't deserve this, but I feel so blessed right now, like oh my goooodd.

I feel like such an ass for not talking to him while I was away. If I had known so much would happen to him while I was gone, I would've made an effort to have at least sent him a text. When I had taken Ao back to the mansion after her chaotic battle, things had become hectic. Instead of taking the time to recuperate from the incident, Ao went on a tirade about needing to find Ellie and jumped into working again. Ms. P was in a jumble from training Ao to taking care of Sally and the pets. Jack had wanted to push back his hunting trip to be with Ao in such a dire time, but his hunger nearly got the better of him when he brandished his claws at a non-provoking Hoodie. Now he isn't there, off hunting to sate his monthly hunger.

As for me, I had been busy trying to sabotage any evidence of the battle between Ao and Ellie so that there wouldn't be a huge commotion among the humans. Although I'm incredibly savvy with everything that goes on in the Ethernet, I'm not all powerful as to delete every single video and photo taken from CCTV or people who happened to not be within the "decimation zone" Ellie created. As far as I know, every news channel has covered what they could and authorities have taken priority into finding Ellie and Ao. Thankfully, what evidence is out there doesn't reveal them well enough for police to analyze. Still, it's nerve-racking to know humans are practically out hunting us again.

On top of that, there's still Jeff, who has, at two times, nearly found out what's been going on. If he were to know that Ao is adamantly hunting Elizabeth down as an enemy now, he would go ballistic. That wouldn't bode well for anyone, especially himself. He'd become more devastated than I think would be physically and emotionally possible for a human being. So far, he's unaware of the situation, being his cynical and non-talkative self, and I'd like to keep it that way for as long as I can.

My thoughts were interrupted by Reese shifting. I froze, expecting him to roll away from me, but all he did was move up more. It kind of relieved me to see that he didn't move away. I went back to gently scratching his head and he never stirred after that. Staring down at him like this, I could take in every inch of his face, appreciate his features. His scars were covered as he laid on his left side, but I remembered what they looked like. I loved the way his mouth parted slightly as he slept, and the way his fingers still clutched onto my--his--hoodie. I can't believe he didn't mention anything about it. What I also can't believe is that he bailed out on work just to see me. At the same time, as I feel bad, I can't help but feel a little giddy. Like, he rushed from school and ran to his apartment room; I could see the exertion on his face when he barged in. He ran for me.

And where I expected him to be angry with me for being away for so long, he was only overwhelmingly happy to see me and have me again. God, he hugged me so tight, and he was so relieved, and I swear my heart swelled up a gazillion notches the moment he touched me. While I adore him, I'm also mad at him, because I'm trying not to be so caught up on him but he makes it so difficult. What's worse is that he doesn't even know my feelings, therefore his allure is effortless...!

I wanna just kiss him. Kiss him with all of the love and adoration I can muster. And he's right here, in my arms, at peace and resting. He's content, and in my arms because he wanted to be, and this is all so perfect. I bit my lip and looked away from Reese. Suddenly, the thought of kissing him felt inconsiderate. Whether or not he would know about it, me kissing him after he's expressed his exasperations is just about the douchiest thing a person could do. I can be an idiot, but not by that standard. So I'll hold him and appreciate that he's in my arms--that he's still so happy to see me.

From the silence of the apartment, I heard the front door unlocking. With a quiet gasp, I delved into my pocket to pull out my cloaking chip (thank goodness I decided to bring it along just in case). Quickly, I pressed it against the nape of my neck and felt it power on. Just in time, too, because footsteps echoed from down the hall and a man's voice said, "Hey, Reese? You left the door unlocked, buddy. Thank god I came home first, or Mom woulda been--."

Reese's brother, Hunter, showed up at the doorway and froze as soon as he saw me. Confused, he furrowed his brow and opened his mouth but I quickly shushed him and whispered, "Reese is napping. Long day."

He pursed his lips, shifted his eyes between me and Reese, then shrugged and asked, "Want anything?"

"I'm good, thank you."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"We have Doritos."

"Oh, shit, Doritos?" I mumbled wistfully, then shook my head. "Uhh, no, I'm okay."

He grinned and said, "Alright, see ya," then turned to enter into a room across from Reese's that was probably his. He closed the door so now it was practically just Reese and I again. I sighed and glanced down at the sleeping boy to check how he was doing. Like before, he was still asleep in the same position, not having been disturbed in the slightest.

Sighing, I hugged onto Reese again, leaning my cheek against the top of his head. Now that it was quiet again, I could hear his breathing and notice how his shoulders lifted slightly every other second. Ugh, I just loved how I can hold him like this right now. The thought of never being able to do this again makes me nervous, and suddenly I really feel like kissing him, but I won't because I'm not an ass. So, I'll just hold him and make sure he gets all of the rest he needs. He deserves so much. I love him so much.

I'm more than caught up by now. I'm fuckin' infused.