For Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third, life was just as much a struggle (and that, to be fair, was putting it pretty fucking mildly) as it was for those residents of his Ward, which just so happened to be the former Butlins resort just outside Ingoldmells on the east coast of England. It just so happened that most of the struggling Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third had to contend with, was keeping the aforementioned residents in line.

The only real difference between Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third and those residents of his Ward, and it was a relatively substantial difference it has to be said, was that he always had food on the table. Figuratively speaking, of course, because sometimes he liked to eat while sitting in the tattered armchair beside the wireless.

Sitting as he was in the tattered armchair beside the wireless, Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third reached across and fiddled with the incredibly delicate volume knob while at the same time, his manservant slobbered and gagged on his knob, though there was nothing delicate about that at all. 

"Hurry up will you, Justin," Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third said, irritably. "The fight is about to start, and you know what will become of you if my testes aren't drained by the time the first punch is thrown."

"Mmmf fmm m," Justin replied, doubling his efforts.

He did so in vain, however, as no sooner had he slipped a third finger into Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third's back alley, did a bell sound thrice over the wireless. That trio of dings was followed swiftly by what sounded very much like a thwack.

"Not good enough, Justin," Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third said, pulling his leg back as having failed in his duties, the manservant recoiled and waited for the boot to the jaw that came incredibly quickly thereafter.

***

As luck would have it, the next day was the twenty-fifth day of the month of December.

Snow fell gently from the fluffy clouds above as flanked by two of his personal guard, Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third stood upon the gallows. He was left of centre, as that particular position was held by Justin, his manservant, with a noose pulled around his neck.

Despite the fact it was, indeed, Christmas Day, quite the crowd had gathered. A good hanging generally drew such a thing, but Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third suspected the crowd was as large as it was because it was the day it was.

He scanned the baying crowd, relishing in their enjoyment. Whatever happened today, he knew there was not going to be another riot. Riots never took place on the same day as a hanging.

"You," he said, his voice raised so as to be heard above the crowd, pointing to an aged man with grey hair dirtier and more unkempt than a head of hair had any right to be.

Quite unable to believe his luck the aged man grinned widely, revealing teeth and gums as rotten as any, and pushed his way through the crowd.

"What is your name?" Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third, asked of the man.

"Shteve," the aged man replied.

"You are now my manservant, Shteve," said Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third, gently clapping the man on the shoulder. "Congratulations."

"Thank you, m'Lord."

"Your first task as my new manservant, is to push your predecessor from this platform."

The words drew a roar of approval from the bloodthirsty crowd, and as Shteve did, indeed, push Justin from the platform that he might hang from the neck 'til dead, Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third shouted to ensure he was heard, "Merry Christmas, one and all!"

The crowd roared and cheered, as crowds do, as Justin's body dangled and swung at the end of the rope while at the same time, Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third cupped his hand around Shteve's ear and quietly whispered something. Those close enough might have heard something, the words 'directly after Christmas dinner, your second task...', 'three fingers...', 'before the first punch is thrown...', but if anyone did hear no one said anything. What went on between Lord Admiral James Penniforth the Third and his manservant while dinner was going down was no one else's business, after all.