"I really think you should get another haircut," Mom announced thoughtfully, from her spot, sunken into the cushions of the sofa.

Josh glanced up at her. "I really think you should get another facelift,"

Out of the darkness, Billy choked on his drink. Mom gave him a stink eye.

"You find it insulting, I find it funny," Josh shrugged. "That's why I'm happier than you,"

The living room was dimly lit by the half finished movie, frozen on the television screen. Billy and Sierra sat on the floor. Sierra against the armchair that Sylas was perched in, and Billy against the wall, with the soles of their feet pressed against each other's. Sierra watched the conversation over her phone, and Billy over his cookbook.

"I really think you'd be more handsome with short hair," Mom said "Just look at Billy!"

"Please don't," Billy covered his face, but he'd already caught Josh's attention.

"I've seen better," Josh shrugged. "In the shower drain,"

Sierra burst out laughing, while Billy and Sylas gave Josh light applause.

"No seriously!" Mom leaned forward a bit, to show how serious she was. "I think Emma would like it,"

"Emma?" Billy echoed, curiously.

"Josh's girlfriend back in Florida," Sierra replied.

"They're long distance now," Sylas informed him.

"Wait there's more of you?"

Dad walked into the living room, carrying a bowl of popcorn. "Extra butter, a dash of smoked paprika, and a hit of cayenne pepper," he announced, bestowing the bowl upon his wife.

"Did you add the-"

He threw a pinch if salt on top. Mom smiled, "Thanks honey,"

"Always," he replied, sitting down against her and picking up the remote.

"Honey," Mrs. Chamber interrupted, covering the remote. "Tell Josh he should get his hair cut,"

Dad swivelled his head, and studied his son's hair, as if seeing it for the first time. "Why don't we get a weed whacker and trim that up a bit?" He offered.

Josh snorted in respect, and the whole room burst out laughing.

"Now I know where he gets it from," Billy chuckled. Then he saw the popcorn, and his smile faded. "I could've helped you with that," he said apologetically.

But Dad waved him off. "I've got to feel somewhat useful. Plus, you had a... rough dinner,"

"In other words," Sierra laughed at him "he didn't want it burnt,"

"Or cooked in the box," Sylas smirked, making Mom choke through her popcorn.

"Who told you about that?" Billy demanded.

"Who do you think?" Pig asked, cleaning his paw on the back of the couch.

The room was laughing at the look on Billy's face, when Jakob sauntered in the front door, grinning stupidly from ear to ear. "Hello dear family!"

Josh glanced up at him with a raised eyebrow. "What are you high on?"

"Love, dear brother. True love," He replied cheesily. Jakob dug out his phone, clicked a few buttons, and turned the screen towards Josh.

"That's ugly even in the dark," Josh said, squinting at the screen, while Dennis passed by, unnoticed in the background, holding a box of matches.

"Excuse me," Jakob snapped, insulted. "That's my girlfriend,"

Josh casually met his gaze "I wasn't talking about her,"

Mom stole the phone, and Dad looked over her shoulder, staring at a selfie of Jakob kissing Dovie.

"You took this in the moment?" Mom asked.

"Very smooth," Dad laughed, impressed.

"What is it? Lemme see," Sierra urged.

Mom leaned past Dad. And handed the phone to Sylas. She held it out so Billy and Sierra could see.

"She's cute!" Sierra said, surprised, as Sylas handed the phone back.

"I think he just payed some girl on the street to kiss him," Pig stretched.

"No," Josh muttered, looking at his game. "He hasn't got enough money to pull that off,"

"Oh she's real," Jakob snapped. "We'll see what you say tomorrow when you meet her,"

"Tomorrow?" Dad exclaimed, as Dennis snuck past, with a shirt full of firecrackers. "Wait, how long have you known this girl?"

"Ten hours," Jakob replied, with a hint of pride. "She's coming over for breakfast,"

"Awesome!" Billy cheered. "I'll be sure to make something special,"

"Do me a favor," Jakob replied "Don't,"

"I'll help him," Sierra assured them all.

"When do I have to be up by?" Josh asked.

"Around breakfast," Jakob told him. "So how's 7 in the morning?"

"I don't know. I hear it sucks. See you at noon,"

Jakob rolled his eyes. "So... where is everyone? Why is Billy here, and not someone actually important?"

"Taylor is asleep on Pig's bed in the kitchen, after sugar crashing over four servings of obesity on a plate," Josh explained. "Perks of being three feet tall,"

"Kelce went to visit a friend, she should be back soon," Dad added.

"Jake and Jack are practicing some magic tricks in the dining room," Mom replied. Dennis passed behind her with a rope.

"I haven't seen Leo all day," Billy thought aloud. "I think he's in the basement,"

"And where's Cassie?" Jakob asked, hanging up his coat.

Sierra dropped her phone and spun around to stare at Jakob. "Uh. What do you mean 'where's Cassie'? You took her to the gym,"

Jakob froze. "Uhhh..."

"You left your sister at the gym?" Mom demanded.

"This is Cassie," Dad told everyone assuringly. "I'm sure she's fine,"

"It's not her we should worry about," Josh pointed out, nonchalantly continuing his game. "It's the fact that our pent up sister hasn't beat the shit out of anyone in a couple weeks now. And you just left her in a brick building, with dozens of poor, unsuspecting, stranger. You gonna get sued,"

The front door opened and Cassie waltzed in, grinning. "Hello dear family!"

Josh glanced up "And what are you high-"

"You!" Jakob cut him off, pointing at Cassie accusingly.

"I'm sorry," Josh looked up at him. "Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?"

"You were with that guy, weren't you?" He snapped, ignoring his brother. "The 'Big M',"

"I'm not used to such hatred being aimed at someone who isn't me," Billy whispered to Sierra.

"You're not off the hook," Jakob growled.

"Yes I was," Cassie answered defiantly. "And he's a really nice guy,"

"He's a really dead guy too," Jakob snapped. "Billy, get me a knife,"

"You stupid hypocrite!" Cassie shoved him. "I happen to know that you were sucking the lobby lady's face all night! And yet I can't get ice cream with a guy I beat up?"

"I'm a grown-up!" Jakob yelled back.

"Fine!" She threw her hands up and stomped over to the stairs. "You go over there. Yell at him if you want. Fight him. I don't care. But don't be a wimp shit! Fight him unarmed. A fair fight. And I hope he breaks every bone in your body!"

She ran up the stairs and slammed her door behind her.

The only sound was from Josh's in game death, as everyone in the living room stared at each other.

Dad broke the trance by standing up and grabbing Jakob's shoulder, then taking him outside.

"Well..." Mom turned to Sylas, with a forced smile. "Welcome back..."

A series of pops and crackles and screams from the dining room, cut off any further conversation. They all jumped up and ran into the dining room, where they found Dennis, hog-tied in a corner, screaming, and a pile of firecrackers went off beside his head. Jake and Jack stared at each other in alarm.

Their alarm tripled as Mrs. Chamber put her hands on her hips.

"We didn't-" Jake stuttered, gesturing at himself and Jack.

"It wasn't-" Jack repeated the gesture.

"He tied himself-" Jake explained.

"And lit the fuse-" Jack added desperately.

Dennis puffed out his lower lip, and Sylas, Josh, and Sierra hung their heads. The fatal blow.

The twins were goners.

***

Dad shut the door and lowered himself onto the porch swing with a grunt. The silence hung for a second, until he cleared his throat.

"Well?"

"The kid's a gangster, Dad," Jakob ranted. "He's older than she is. He calls himself 'The Big M'. He likes to beat people up. I don't know him, but I know his type. He'll ruin her,"

"Let's start one at a time," Dad slowed him down. "How much older?"

"I don't know," Jakob admitted. "A year maybe,"

"That's not bad," his father pointed out "And Cassie likes to beat people up too,"

"It's not the same," Jakob threw his hands up. "She does it for sport. This guy's attitude I mean... It's almost like he does it for fun,"

Dad nodded, "And what about you? You're dating a girl. At least... you spent the day with a girl,"

"I'm sixteen, Cassie is thirteen. There's a difference. She's not at the age to be able to decide things like this,"

"And to me," Dad replied "Neither are you. You think you're so much older than Cassie. But when you're 66 and she's 63, the difference isn't going to be all that much. To me, you're still a baby,"

Jakob kicked the porch rail.

"What Cassie's the wrong or right age for is not your decision Jakob. It never was and it never will be. She's strong, and mature, and she's got a plan for her life. Those are the things she needs to succeed. Look, I know you just want to protect her, I went through the same thing when Sierra started dating," Dad admitted. "I decided to stay out of her romantic life, when she asked me to answer the phone from her babe, and I accidentally called her new girlfriend Brian. Which was the name of her boyfriend the day before,"

"Cassie's making a mistake," Jakob insisted.

"I'm not saying she isn't," Dad assured him. "I've never met the guy. But nobody can ride a bike just by reading a book on it," he sighed, and leaned against the railing next to Jakob before continuing. "Look. It's mine and your mother's job to prepare you for life. We teach you the lessons, we give you the tests, we correct you when you're wrong, we teach you how the dice are rolled. But then all the sudden, it turns out you're playing a card game. That's how life is. Do you want to know the truth?"

Jakob glanced at his father.

"The truth is: you'll never be fully prepared. We can teach and teach and teach until you're grey and old and you've missed your whole life, but we'll still never know how good you'll be at the game until you play it," Dad said "If you never fall off the bike, you'll never know what it is that you're protecting yourself from. If you never lose, you'll never be able to tell when you're winning,"

Mr. Chamber shook his head and patted his son's shoulder. "Sometimes, Jakob... sometimes you just have to let them take their chances, and take the fall. Make sure they're not falling off a cliff or anything. Just onto the grass, or even the sidewalk sometimes. They'll never learn as well from you as they will from their own mistakes,"

"She's only 13 Dad," Jakob whispered.

"I admit, it's a bit young," Dad nodded. "But who am I to judge? I met a girl when I was four and I told her I was going to marry her," He laughed. "I didn't even start dating her until we were 13,"

"What happened to her?" Jakob laughed.

"When I turned 19, I married her," Dad smiled.

"You met Mom when you were four?" Jakob gaped.

"My mother was friends with hers," Dad shrugged. "I was four and your mother was two. And I said I was going to marry her. And your mother didn't even know it, until your grandmother showed her a video of me saying it. Then she used to remind me all the time. 'Remember John. You said you'd marry me.' She thought she'd live alone forever, if she didn't have me. I started dating her when we were in middle school. I started working when I was sixteen, and I didn't spend a single cent of anything I earned. Which means I couldn't take your mother out on dates. We did little things instead. Picnics. Walks. That kind of thing. And when I turned 19, I earned enough that I bought a ring. I asked her father to marry his daughter. He didn't want to, but your grandmother talked him into it. That's how I got here,"

"You mean, fifteen years... and you didn't go after anyone else?" Jakob stared. "And you're sure Sierra is your daughter?"

Dad laughed. "I didn't need anyone else. I got lucky. And I'm not saying that's what's happening with Cassie. But maybe we should let her take the chance if she wants it. Just keep an eye out for any impending cliffs,"

Jakob glanced up at the sky in exasperation. "You want me to apologize. Don't you?"

Dad snorted. "For your own personal safety, I would t recommend it. Cassie's got a devil of a temper, but she cools off pretty fast,"

Jakob nodded vaguely.

"What I want," Dad continued "is for you to calm down a bit. Give it a chance. Cassie can protect herself better than all of us combined,"

"What about the others?" Jakob asked. "Maybe there's nothing we can do about Cassie and Sierra, but what happens when it's Taylor and Kelce's turn?"

"I love Kelce to death, but... to be honest, I wouldn't worry about boys around her anytime soon. Or anytime distant," Dad admitted "She still scares me,"

Jakob bobbed his head in agreement.

"As for Taylor..." Dad hesitated. "Hopefully she's got a while before boys start showing interest,"

"If not," Jakob held up a threatening fist.

"Exactly," Dad held up a threatening fist to match, then put an arm around his son and led him back inside.

As they opened the door, Jake and Jack shot out like bottle rockets. Bags over their shoulders, waving in the wind.

"Bye Dad!" Jake called back over his shoulder.

"We're spending the week at Jess's house!" Jack called back over his shoulder.

"Tell his mother I need my casserole dish back!" Dad yelled after them, receiving two thumbs up in return.

Mom walked over to the door, with Dennis on her hip, and pointed accusingly after the twins "They-"

Dad held up his hands to stop her. "Forget I asked,"

"You didn't ask," Mom pointed out.

"Damn you're good at this,"