My first love didn’t turn out as I imagined before. I was young at the age of 10 if I’m not mistaken. In those year (I was in grade 6 already) I was too childish, I don’t act like I was a graduating elementary pupil and in coming June I was about to enter High School instead I act like I was a grade 4 (how embarrassing of me!). So, as I was saying, my first love didn’t turn out as I imagined ‘cause I’ve been always imagining a love story like a fairytale  ... preferably the story of Snow white or Cinderella’s, I so want a happy ending like in the stories – that they live happily ever after. I thought that first love of mine will going to be like that too. . But it doesn’t... (Sorry for the long intro) So, the story, I mean my love story goes like this...

I’ve graduated in a public elementary school in the center of our town. I spend my first 3 years (Grade 1, 2 & 3) as an elementary in a private school and eventually transferred to a public school when we have some sort of a problem with the school. Look, I’ve never entered a prep school like most. When I was in grade 4, I’ve met Carlo. I don’t like him ever since fourth grade and fifth grade but when we we’re seatmates during my sixth grade something went really umm...not normal. It was in the middle of the school that I confess to myself that I have a total crush on him in a reason that I cannot figure out how it happens. When I was in grade 4 and 5 I used to slap a book on his head because he was totally annoying and he always teases me in front of everyone and embarrass me in front of my classmates. Before, I even promised myself that when I grew up I’ll come back to beat him up like the way he used to do. I want him to kneel down on me and follow everything I ordered him to do. But as I said everything turn out very wrong, all my plans were burned out and destroyed. One time...

“Palitan tayo ng numbers” he said.

“Numbers??” I asked innocently

“Cell phone numbers”

“Sure I said” I reached for my 3310 phone on my pocket and hand it to him. 3310 before was still the most popular phone not like these days... He handed me too his phone...

So, we exchange messages with each other every night and during weekends. In those times there is no services offered like unlimited texting and my cell phone load run out in zero balance every time... I mean sometimes.  While he, he got a lot of loads that’s why he pass me some so that he can text me. Sometimes he makes some call just to say hi. I admit I enjoy every text messages I receive from him and send to him. Though my grades suffer, I was in honors before but now no more, my parents seem not to notice about it so I continued texting with Carlo. It was nearing the end of the year when he confessed he likes me and because I know I like him too I’ve got this kilig thing we girls used to feel when our crush say they liked us. I was not the easy-to-get girl type so I let him court me for more or less 7 months. During the second month of him courting me...

“It’s my birthday next week. Come over to my house I’ll be throwing a party” he texted me

“Okay. I’ll ask for my parents’ permission first” I replied

I so want to attend his party but I don’t know why there is something pushing me not to go.

The day after his birthday...

“Ericka.. Uncle was looking for you last night” a classmate of ours said

“Why daw?”

“I guess gusto ka niya i-meet. Kasi ikaw ung topic namin kahapon”

“ha? Hala! Baka puro negative ung sinabi niyo” I said releasing a little laugh.

“Ui hindi ah. Carlo spoke a lot about you. Kaya mas lalong naging interested ung parents niya na mameet ka”

I was so happy when I heard that. Maybe there was a possibility na his parents want me for their son. I realized what I miss and I was so sorry that I was not able to attend. .

The graduation happens. Everyone will going to enter different schools, Carlo and I are both going to enter same school and unluckily hindi ko pa rin namemeet ang parents niya.

On the first day of High School, I was like I-don’t-wanna-enter school now. Carlo and I were both on different sections. We are buildings apart, different schedules. I know it will be harder this time, but still he continued courting me. It was June when I answered him a yes! I can still recall on my mind how happy he was that time. He shouted that he loves me like there’s no tomorrow, he hug me so tight that I can’t hardly breathe, but after that day things got more complicated. He barely text me, he barely meet up with me, I know he was busy with his studies being in the higher section than I do, I know it needs lot of concentration to remain in the higher section. Second year comes but it seems like I have no boyfriend anymore.. I’ve think many times about breaking up with him ‘cause I know that our relationship is not growing stronger but is turning weaker.

It was also the day when I answered him the day I decided to talk to him. I take him to the place where I answered him ‘cause I want that our love starts there and ends also there.

“Anong ginagawa natin dito? Madami pa akong assignments” he said

“Mahal mo pa ba ako?” I asked

“Ano namang klase ng tanong yan?”

“Kasi hindi ko feel na mahal mo ako eh”

“Alam mo naman na busy ako sa studies ko”

“Oo. Alam ko yun. At naiintindihan ko naman eh.” I said trying not to let my tears burst out.

“Sorry Ericka” he said

“Un lang ba ang masasabi mo?” I asked

“Ano ba ang gusto mong marinig?” he asked. I can feel his tone pitched up.

“Wala naman akong inaasahan galing sa’yo eh. Kasi alam ko na kahit 1 percent lang ng utak mo ang lulugaran ko ay wala. Nakalimutan mo nga rin it is our first anniversary today” I said. Still holding my tears

“Ericka.. alam mong buong puso ko pag-aari mo”

I give him a weary smile.

“Sorry but I’m tired understanding and waiting for you Carlo. I can’t take it anymore, I’m sorry to say but this is already the end.” I said and walked out. I called the coming taxi to take me home.

I can’t help but let my tears run down my face, finally. After holding it in front of Carlo and I feel so much relieved after I burst out with tears after I pretended to be strong in front of him.

One year, 7 months later...It was already January 

“Ericka! May balita galing sa section nila Carlo” Jessie said, she was my closest friend in our classroom

“Kung ano man ‘yon wala akong pakialam. Kapag nadisgrasya siya or something maraming salamat Lord you answered my prayers!” I don’t know how it happens that my love for him turned out to be hatred.

“No it was not about those. Hindi mo ba lam na pinagsasabi niya sa lahat na hindi ka niya naging girlfriend kahit kailan. M.U. lang daw kayo noon at friend sabi pa saw niya pinaglaruan ka lang niya at pinagpustahan ng barkada nila noong elementary kayo!”

I was shocked. Now, after everything, he was ashamed to tell that once I was his girlfriend and how dare he is to tell that he just played with me!!

What a nerve he got!! Because of that I waited for him to get out of the campus and talk to him.

“So, pinaglaruan mo lang pala ako at pinagpustahan. Totoo yun di ba?” 

He didn’t answer. He just keeps on looking at me directly to the eye.

“Hindi mo ako makukuha sa ganyan Carlo. You played your game very nice, you won, and what’s your prize?”

Still he did not speak.

“Me? Hindi ko inaasahan na napakagaling mong maglaro, you make me believe how sincere you are... at M.U lang pala tayo noon ha! Fine M.U kung M.U. hindi mo alam kung ano ang nawala sa’yo Carlo.”

“I’m sorry ,Ericka. I didn’t –”

I cut him off “mean to?? Ha! You are done with your game man! Now get off my life stranger!! You don’t deserve me at all. You’re not worth it.”

I walked straight to my friend’s car; she offered me a ride home. I know Carlo followed me but whatever his explanation... I don’t wanna hear it, it’s useless anyway. It’s more than 2 years now since it happened and I finally move on now. I was about to enter college, this time I want everything to be new, new experiences and maybe I can already find the Prince I was looking since I was a little kid. The moments I have with Carlo was finally going off my mind now, I guess it was a part of forgetting someone once been a part of your life. If you gonna ask if I cried on him my answer was no. the first and last time I cried about Carlo was when I was on the taxi. Hence, after that I’ve learned my lesson to test very well the boy who’s going to make a cross on my life.