Glenn could tell I was scared. He told me to stay in the house and look after Beth, Patricia, Lori, and Carol. Lori and Carol were still looking for Carl. I sat on the couch, holding the gun Maggie had given me in my hands. Beth and Patricia watched everything go down from the window.

There was loud gunshots sounding out around the whole farm. Everyone else had taken a car and was driving around the perimeter, trying to take down as many walkers as they could. Rick and Shane were still nowhere to be found.

I looked down at my shaking hands, I was gripping the gun very firmly, as if it would run away if I let go. In all honesty, if something goes down at the house, I don't think I can protect the rest of the girls.

I looked up from my hands to the window. An orange hue was peeking through the blinds.

"The barn's on fire." Beth said, backing away from the window.  Patricia pushed the curtains back open and looked out.

I stood up, walking towards the window. From behind Patricia, I could see bright orange and yellow flames coming from the barn. What the hell?

"They're headed for it. Maybe Rick set it to draw 'em in." Patricia suggested.

A door slammed in the background. "I can't find him anywhere." I turned around to see Lori.

"So maybe he snuck outside?" Carol rationalized, following after Lori.

"What do I do?!" Lori suddenly shouted. 

"He was here. He must've run off, maybe looking for Rick or going after Randall himself--"

"Maybe he set the fire." Patricia spoke up. Lori's head turned towards the window, guns fired in the distance still.

"Oh my God." Lori rasped, walking towards the window. She stared at the barn wide-eyed, her mouth hanging open slightly.

"We're gonna find him." Carol insisted.

Carol and Lori went upstairs to search again. Patricia, Beth and I searched downstairs. 

We searched every room, every corner-- everywhere. But Carl was still no where to be found.

No traces of him, nothing. It was like he had just disappeared off the face of the earth. But he hadn't. He was probably somewhere out there in that herd of walkers.

Carol and Lori stepped outside while the rest of us continued to look. I double checked places I had already looked. I looked under tables, beds, blankets. I looked in every single closet in the house-- anywhere that someone could hide, yet I still couldn't find him.

"Beth, Patricia, Reagan, come on. We've gotta go-- now." Carol stepped inside the house now.

"I don't wanna go--" Beth looked at Patricia with tears in her eyes, she didn't want to leave her home.

"We have to, sweetie. Come on." Patricia pulled Beth along and we followed Carol outside. I still held the gun Maggie had given me tightly in my hands.

Patricia and Carol called for Hershel, but he wouldn't budge. He was still in the same spot, shooting as many walkers as he could. More got closer and closer but he kept firing rounds-- which only drew more in. He'd be overpowered soon.

"Hershel, it's time to go!"

"Come on! Now!"

Lori tried calling for Hershel a few more times before giving up. She followed us as we ran off the porch.

Carol ran frantically ahead of everyone. I froze in my tracks and just watched everyone run away from the house.

I looked back at Hershel, still taking down walkers. Too many I could count were getting closer and closer to him.

Fuck it.

I ran towards Hershel, he continued to look straight ahead.

I put a hand on his shoulder, he flinched and his head shot towards me, but he relaxed a bit once he saw it was just me.

"Hershel, we have to go!" I yelled over the groaning of the walkers. 

"I'm not leaving, this is my farm!" He shook my hand off him and looked back at the walkers.

"I know, Hershel-- but it's too late-- it's gone!" I tried to get through to him, but he started firing again.

"Everyones already leaving, Hershel. We have to go!" I shouted. He paused for a moment. I stood there, waiting for him to turn away so we could get the hell out of here.

But, he just gripped his gun tighter and kept shooting.

It was useless, nothing and no one could get him to leave this place. I turned around and ran back to the others. I could see everyone getting into a blue truck.

"Carol! Lori! Wait!" I yelled out, hoping someone would hear me.

The door closed. I ran faster now as the car started to turn around.

No.

I stopped running and watched the blue truck. They had completely turned around and quickly drove off. 

I could only watch as the car sped off in the other direction, away from the farm. 

They left me.

Walkers growled from behind me, I turned around to see them grouping together and coming towards me. I turned around to run away, only to find more.

I looked around, panicking-- not knowing what to do. I ran to my right to put some distance between me and them.

But they kept getting closer. One reached its arms out to grab me. I backed away, almost tripping on a small rock.

It grabbed one of my arms and growled hungrily. I screamed-- pointing the gun towards its head to shoot it.

Despite being so close, I missed and hit it in the shoulder instead-- which did nothing. It continued to growl as I tried to pull my arm away. I kept backing up-- but more were coming.

I dropped the gun-- reaching for my knife instead. I tried to break away from the walkers grip as my free hand went to the waistband of my pants and grabbed the knife. I managed to break loose from the walker and pulled the knife out of its sheath.

The walker came closer and I gripped my knife firmly. I raised my hand, plunging the knife into the walkers head.

It fell to the ground and I backed away. More walkers stepped over the body, hobbling towards me.

Walkers were coming for me from every direction. I was cornered-- I'm gonna die here--

I suddenly heard a motorcycle engine over the sound of the walkers. I turned around to see Daryl on his bike, driving towards me. He held up his gun, shooting down nearby walkers.

I flinched as the bodies around me started to drop, and I was scared he'd accidentally shoot me.

He drove closer before stopping, he put his foot on the ground for balance. "Come on!"

He wasn't more than a few feet away from me. I put my knife away and ran towards the bike. I stopped in front of him.

"You want me to just--"

"Hurry up and get on!" He interrupted. "We don't got all day!"

I sat down on the back of the bike, awkwardly putting my arms around his torso as he shot down another walker. He lifted his foot off the ground and took off.

I instinctively tightened my grip around him from the sudden motion. We were already picking up speed.

The bike was fast, I didn't loosen my grip on him in fear of falling off. I've never been on a motorcycle before. It was scary.

I could barely hear my own thoughts over the roar of the engine. The bike created clouds of dust as we zipped past dozens of walkers. Daryl took a turn, driving towards the farm gate.

I looked back at the farm one more time. The barn was still ablaze. Walkers littered the entire property.

We had finally been able to feel safe for a few weeks, and that was now taken away from us. I don't even know who made it out.

We'd have to find somewhere new-- if that was even possible. How could anywhere else be safe?

I turned around, sighing out of exhaustion. The adrenaline began to wear off as I rested my head against Daryl's back.