Since returning to the library, Aaron was nowhere to be found.

Miles thought he had seen the blond disappear upstairs to the third level of the library, where nobody had gone yet. Nobody had gone to bother Aaron or to even look for him, including Eira, who was busy distracting herself.

They all were, really.

Lia was sitting in the far corner of the library, reading a thick hardcover that would probably keep her satisfied for a long time. Eira was sorting what food they had. Percy was folding the spare clothes that Lia and Miles had brought back.

Miles was pacing.

Finally, Miles stopped pacing in front of the escalator up to the next level.

"Miles, don't bother him," Eira called, looking up from her activity. "He likes being on his own when he's upset."

Miles stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Nobody's been up to that level yet apart from him. He could be in danger."

That wasn't why Miles wanted to go up, though. His mind was elsewhere; lost in that alley where he'd found Harvey and tripping through the old house he'd found the two dead Altered. Thinking back to both of those events made Miles feel nauseous and disturbed, but they also reminded him that it was hard to be in such proximity of somebody dead.

Not to mention watching somebody die.

Knowing that Aaron had had to deal with that earlier made his heart sore.

"He's not in danger," Eira responded.

Miles didn't listen. He took a step onto the escalator and hesitated for a heartbeat before continuing up. He could practically sense Eira shaking her head from behind him, but didn't let it stop him as he continued up the broken escalator, pace quickening as he neared the top. He considered as he ascended that Aaron would probably not want to be bothered, but if that was the case it was easy for Miles to leave again.

He was surprised at how easy Aaron was to find. When Miles reached the top of the escalator, he could see Aaron meandering aimlessly between two shelves of e-Books.

Miles approached noiselessly. "Aaron?"

Aaron jolted at Miles' sudden appearance and almost immediately scowled. His eyes were red. "What?" he sounded more fragile than defensive.

"Have you been crying?"

Aaron rubbed his eyes. "No."

"Allergies?" suggested Miles.

"Allergies," confirmed Aaron. Liar.

Miles, hands still in pockets, pivoted to examine the disks on the shelves, pretending to be interested. "What are you looking at?"

"Historical fiction," came Aaron's response. "Not that I'm very interested in it. I prefer science fiction and stuff."

"Science fiction," muttered Miles under his breath. "That's appropriate for times like this, huh?"

"Actually, I prefer reading the old sci-fi stuff," Aaron said, managing to grin a little. "It's very entertaining to see what sort of thing people thought the future would be like when they wrote those books in the 2030's and stuff."

Miles scoffed lightly, considering that maybe reading wasn't as boring as he'd always found it to be. He glanced away from the shelves and at Aaron. "Hey," he said. "Are you okay?"

Aaron shrugged, shuffling his feet. "I mean, it's not like I knew her or anything."

"Well if it helps," Miles said, "it scares me too. A lot. The thought that we were there with her while she died." Somehow, Miles couldn't imagine himself confessing this sort of thing to anybody else but the boy who was currently beside him. "It was horrible."

"I just want to get some fresh air," Aaron groaned, leaning against the plastic shelves. "But I can't get out without being killed." His voice wavered on the last word.

Miles wished Aaron was wrong, but he wasn't. Anywhere they went was Altered-infested and dangerous. "We can go for a walk... up to the next level? If you haven't been up there already?"

Aaron opened his eyes. "What's so interesting up there?"

"The fact that we've not been up there before, of course," Miles replied, grabbing Aaron's sleeve and giving him a tug to pull him away from the shelf and out into the open space in the room. "We might as well."

Aaron unenthusiastically followed, shrugging himself free of Miles' latch. He made a small noise of contempt but trailed after Miles anyway as he made for the escalator. "Hey, Miles?"

Miles starting taking the steps of the escalator up to the next floor. "What?"

"Thanks for saying that stuff," Aaron said. "About being scared."

"I said like five words," Miles stated, speeding up to get to the next floor faster.

"Yeah, but you never talk about how you're feeling."

Miles hadn't heard anybody in the else do so, either - not to him, at least. He shrugged. "Emotions piss me the hell off. It's better to pretend they're not there."

They reached the next floor; it was almost identical to the previous one.

Aaron sounded concerned. "That's a stupid thing to do."

"Aaron," Miles said, looking over at Aaron. "Basically everything I've ever done in my life was stupid. But I did it anyway. What's another dumb thing to add to the list?"

Aaron didn't really seem to understand, so he dropped the topic. "Is that a door over there?"

Miles looked to where Aaron had gestured. This was the top floor so there was no escalator, just more space for plastic e-Book-disk-filled shelves. But on one wall, there was a red wooden door that had a label on it in metal, which Miles couldn't read from where he stood. "It is, too."

"Can we go see what it is?"

In response, Miles started to cross the room towards it. Much like the other levels of the library, this one had a big space in the middle where there were no shelves, just big seats and large circular couches and monochrome rugs. Miles had to wind his way around those objects to get to the door. "Oh!" he said when they got there, scanning the label quickly. "It's a stairwell." He put his hand on the door handle - which he noticed without assistance this time - and pulled it. The door swung open to reveal a set of narrow, metal stairs.

"Where to?"

Miles pulled the door fully open so he could plod up the stairs. "The roof."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Aaron followed Miles despite what he'd said.

"Probably. And stupid."

"Now really isn't the time to stick with your 'stupid but I'll do it anyway' motto, Miles."

Miles grinned. "I'll do it anyway."

The boys climbed the stairs, Miles pulling ahead easily and Aaron following much more nervously.

"You're gonna get the fresh air you want," Miles said in an attempt to be encouraging when they reached the top.

And he was right; the air was frigid but crisp and clean and refreshing. Miles heard Aaron inhale and exhale deeply when he reached Miles' side at the top.

"I wonder why a library has this," Aaron murmured while completing one happy, graceful little twirl that embodied how delighted he was to be up here. Miles trusted that Aaron must be a wonderful dancer.

"A lot of older buildings do." Miles abandoned Aaron's side and strayed towards the edge of the roof. There was no railing.

"Miles, what are you doing?"

"Looking." And he was, sort of. But again, there was that feeling that he was on the end of an invisible leash and some dream creature was pulling him nearer, nearer, nearer to the edge had returned - an uncomfortable sensation but an irresistible one.

Miles sat down, a little overwhelmed by how desperate his feet were to carry him right over the edge. He wasn't so sure he trusted himself while standing up.

Aaron sat beside him.

They sat in silence for a little while.

Miles said, "Does the thought of falling off that edge scare you?"

Aaron said forcefully, "Yes"

Miles stared at the fog and shifted a fraction closer to Aaron, starting to feel the chill of the air. He lifted his knees and hugged them to his chest. "But would you do it, even if it scared you?"

"Miles, what's wrong?"

Miles turned his gaze to Aaron at once. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just wondering."

"No," said Aaron, leaning back onto the heels of his palms, "you're not." He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, letting his sandy hair fall away from his forehead.

"Sometimes I just think," Miles said, tone resigned. "What it would be like to step off the edge. What if we didn't fall? What if we flew?"

"There's a name for that," Aaron said softly, eyes still closed and facing the sky. "L'Appel Du Vide."

"Is that French?"

"Mhm."

"Well, your accent is shit."

Aaron didn't look offended in the slightest, just bothered by Miles' comment.

Miles made sure Aaron still had his eyes closed before stretching out his legs before him and getting onto his hands and his knees. Miles leaned forward, getting hardly a glimpse of what was over the edge.

A breeze swept by; it called his name.

Miles crawled an inch closer to the edge, feeling his heart pound faster inside his chest. He wasn't scared; he was exhilarated.

Aaron's hand snapped forward and grabbed Miles' hand. He whispered, "You won't fly."

Miles almost ignored Aaron completely, his yellow-green eyes fixed on some point over the edge that he couldn't quite see from here. It was like over the edge of the roof was another world and it was begging begging begging him to let it catch him when he fell.

But he didn't want to die.

There was this world, on the rooftop, and there was that world, someplace over the edge.

His only tether to this world was his hand in Aaron's and the tiny voice in his head warning him never to give into non-sensible urges.

Aaron felt important right now - he felt necessary and persistent and a little bit desperate, though he needn't worry, for Miles was hardly rash enough to properly jump from this roof.

Miles glanced down at Aaron's hand clasping his own and he wondered if, someplace and some time different, that touch might have been something more than a restraint to this world.

At least Aaron was a part of this world on this rooftop.

Aaron let go.

Miles sat back down. "Has anybody else who's experienced this feeling," he started quietly, "ever let it pull them over the edge?"

Aaron's sapphire orbs didn't leave Miles. "I don't know. Don't be the first."

Miles looked back to the edge, hardly a few metres away. "I'll come back up tomorrow. Can we go back inside now?"

Aaron seemed to be in utter agreement with the last bit, on his feet in an instant. "I don't want you to come back."

"Well you," said Miles, "don't control my life."

___________________

+1875 Words.

L'Appel Du Vide is such a fascinating thing - the more I looked into it, the more I realised that those sudden urges sometimes to do fatal things aren't just a mistake - there's an actual name for it. I did more research and found just how extreme it can be sometimes... scary, but so fascinating.