some people have been asking for this since the put a finger down bonus part after Tim **cough cough ** went on vacation for a bit and since im at work rn and its too hot to put any real thought into plot and stuff here yall  go! 

It had been Nico who'd suggested this game, one he'd played a few times with his friends back at camp. He was pretty sure the mortal version didn't include most of the stuff the demigod version did, but he figured it would still be a fun way to learn a little about everyone. 

Bruce surprisingly volunteered to go first, and he had to think for a few minutes. "Okay...when I was twelve, I ran away from home, the first time I read Harry Potter, I didn't sleep until I'd finished the entire series, and the only thing I'm afraid of is snakes." 

Everyone scooted together to discuss. "There's no way he ran away from home." Jason whispered. "Alfred's way too nice for that to happen." 

"We've all ran away," Tim pitched in. "I think he's lying about the Harry Potter thing. He only ever quotes the movies." After a moment of further discussion, it was agreed that Tim was most likely right, and they spread back into their seats. 

"You've never read the Harry Potter books," Dick said confidently. 

Bruce laughed and shook his head. "Wrong." 

"Then it has to be that you never ran away from home!" Jason exclaimed, shooting a smug look to Tim. 

Bruce just laughed again, shaking his head. "Still wrong," he said. "If I remember correctly, I was gone for a whole week before one of Alfred's friends dragged me back by the ear." 

"Indeed. I was quiet worried about you, too." Alfred gave the rest of the boys a knowing look. "There are three things Master Bruce is scared of, he claims, although I keep telling him one of them doesn't truly exist." 

Bruce nodded. "Snakes, clowns, and snake-clowns." He shivered lightly. Alfred sighed, and everyone else laughed. 

"Well, I do believe it is my turn now." Alfred had his statements ready. "Back in my prime, I quiet enjoyed riding a skateboard. I am arguably an even better marksman than Batman, and I once forged my father's signature and got a tattoo." 

A beat of silence followed. "Damn, Alfred," Dick said. "You make it sound like you were a gangster back in the day," Alfred only winked conspiratorially. 

None of the boys wanted Bruce's help, since he vehemently claimed that he was a better marksman without a doubt, and refused to accept anything else. In the end, they decided it was most likely that the butler was lying about riding a skateboard, since they all had seen his marksmanship skills at some point or another. 

"Wrong," Alfred said to their guess. "In fact, I forged my father's signature several times, although only three of which were to get tattoos with." Bruce looked like he was about to throw a tantrum and declare a shooting match with Alfred, but considering only one of them had used guns, it wouldn't be hard to see who would win, so he bit his lip and wallowed in silent sadness while Dick thought up his lie. 

"Okay, okay, I got a good one. I have broken almost every bone in my body, back in the circus they let me name one of the baby elephants, and I didn't know how to swim until I was twelve." 

Everyone eventually decided that Dick had probably never been able to name a baby elephant, since everyone who knew him knew his naming-game was terrible. They had guessed right, and Dick was reasonably disappointed about that. 

Next was Damian, who, other than Nico, everybody knew the least about. His were hard. "I once had to survive a month stranded in the woods, at age seven I had bested my mother's best assassin in hand-to-hand combat, and I once befriended a wolf pack." 

All of those seemed like things Damian had done. They sounded like they were on his bucket list, even. After several moments of discussion, they decided to go with the wolf pack. Although privately, Nico thought it probably wasn't much of a stretch for him to say that, considering he'd heard the story about the vulture. 

Predictably, they were wrong. Turns out Damian was six when he beat the assassin. A fact of which he seemed very proud, and made everyone else seem rightly concerned for his poor, lost childhood. 

Next was Tim, who had to think for a minute. "The longest I've ever stayed awake was 74 and a half hours, when I was little I thought you could be arrested for killing houseplants, and I've been stung by a jellyfish." 

All these options also seemed likely, but they eventually landed on 74 and a half hours being too short for Tim, and they were right, at which point he confessed that the actual longest he'd ever been awake having been closer to eighty hours, but that he couldn't really remember the exact number. 

Nico wanted to go last, since he had to sort through everything he'd used when he'd previously played this game and determine what would be acceptable to use, so Jason went next. He grinned evilly the whole time. "The first time I stabbed someone was when I was seven, and he'd tried to steal my can of soup, the last time I stabbed someone was last night, when he tried to steal my can of soup, and I haven't killed anyone in almost a year." 

Nico wasn't sure what to think about Jason's. He did seem like the type of person to stab someone for a can of soup, and he seemed too proud of his no-killing streak to be lying about that. Eventually, they decided that he hadn't stabbed anyone for soup last night, and Jason triumphantly shook his head, still grinning. "I was the one stabbed when I was seven. " He lifted his shirt to show them an old scar above his hip. "Still got to eat the soup, though." 

Finally, it was Nico's turn. He felt like he'd picked good things, and maybe he was cheating a little, because some of the things that were true would feel like lies, considering the mortal standards of the game, but oh well. 

"I've killed two actual people, I can hold my breath for hours, and...I was once turned into a daisy." Nico will admit, the looks on everyone's faces was pretty amusing. It took them a lot longer to decide on the lie, but eventually they said there was no way he could hold his breath that long. 

"That's a water power," Dick argued. "You don't have water powers!" 

Nico grinned and shook his head. "No. It's another use of the shadow abilities. Guess again." They got it on the second guess, but not for the reason Nico suspected they thought. He was a little offended that they knew he was telling the truth about having killed two people, but he had admitted to killing someone during their last game. 

"I was actually turned into a dandelion, which seems more insulting than a daisy, but it wasn't for very long, and to be fair, Persephone was pretty mad at me at the time. She could have done worse." 

There were, once again, varying reactions to his statement. Alfred took it in stride, probably used to odd things being casually mentioned. Jason thought it was fucking hilarious and vowed to start calling Nico 'dandelion' from now on. Dick also thought it was funny, but his concern showed through. Damian looked confused and Tim seemed so done with everything. Bruce looked upwards, as if asking for strength to deal with his poor, suffering, traumatised children and their concerning senses of humour. 

Once Jason had calmed down, he grinned at everyone, thoroughly enjoying the evening. No one was fighting for once, and they still had more than enough snacks to keep going. "What should we play next?" 

OMG GUYS. so work finished before i was done this and i need to tell yall something. 

I work as a lifeguard, and one of the pools i work at has this kid who comes a lot, lets call him Jon, and he's 12. He has adhd but confesses that he hates taking his meds, anger issues, IS A PRETEEN BOY, and no friends bcuz he always starts shit w everyone. 

and there are two other kids, siblings that we'll call Mia and Owen. Mia is also 12, and owen is like 9 or 10 okay? both awesome kids, all of us lifeguards love them. 

so mia and owen and jon are the only people at the pool (small town) and im on deck, doing my job, and all of a sudden jon points at mia and goes, loudly, "YOU'RE A WOMANISER!" 

and i was like wtf is wrong w this kid???? and so i said "Jon! Don't say that!" 

And this mf looks at me and shouts "WHAT? IT'S A COMPLIMENT!" 

and thats not even the worst thing this kids done. once i heard him tell another kid that he was 'neutered in '87, so he can't be gay'

and he got mad at another kid for being racist to him, and when i asked what the kid said, Jon told me the kid called him fat. 

I cant w this kid guys. I actually can't.