Top pic credit: unknown. Tell me if you know

Hawks POV:

I don't want to go back. Please, don't make me go back.

Man, what an amazing weekend it's been with Ari and her family. I was having such a nice time, just being myself, that I almost forgot my whole purpose for practically existing.

Almost.

I continued trudging down the dark, villain infested, alleyway, wondering when Dabi would decide to mysteriously peer out from behind a corner, the way he always does.

Here I am, walking into the fire.

By that, I mean I'm only getting deeper into the villain world with Dabi. I'm getting closer with him.

And the closer I seem to get with him, the closer I get with Ari.

But, how couldn't I get closer to her? Ari is amazing. She's incredible, and she has an incredible family.

I still remember the very first phone conversation I overheard, between Ari and her parents.

It was a week or so after she became my intern. She still wasn't a big fan of me, so I hadn't really heard her laugh or sound genuinely happy.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I heard the most perfect, melodious laugh come from her office one day.

I couldn't help but stop whatever I was working on in that moment to listen to her cheerful, happy voice as she spoke. I was so intrigued. Who was she talking to on the phone? A boyfriend? A friend?

When she said "mom and dad," boy, did I ponder her words in confusion.

Family? Family is what made her so....happy?

I didn't know family could make someone that happy, since I never experienced it, myself. The only "family" I really ever had, growing up, was the hero commission. But, they didn't want to be my family. I even tried to bond with them at first, but they made it very clear I was not allowed such a "silly thing."

Anyways, once I found out that family is something that could make Ari open up to me a little, I started asking her about them.

Quite frankly, I didn't actually care too much about these family questions at first. I only cared about her, and I wanted her to smile and laugh for me, the same way she did on the phone. So I kept asking.

But, then...I started listening. To her answers. To the descriptions she gave of her family...

"My mom is hilarious, Hawks! Honestly, she's one of my best friends."

"Ah, my dad. He's always trying to look out for me. He's a really good man. I bet you'd like him."

"My little brother always knows how to put a smile on my face. It's like no matter what I'm going through, he understands what makes me happy."

Well...I became curious. I wanted to see this family thing for myself. I wanted to see it in action. So, whenever her parents called, I'd chime in from the background just to say hi.

This might sound stupid-ah, no. It does sound stupid, but I did this because I wanted to be noticed by them. At the time, I wasn't sure why I wanted that...why I wanted Ari's family to notice me, and hopefully want to talk to me.

But then, I soon understood why Ari's family made her so happy. Whenever they called, the atmosphere in the room, or through the phone, was so good. So pure. So happy.

So, that's what a real family is like.

I wanted more of those feelings. So, when Ari's mom invited me to come over for the weekend, you can bet I was ecstatic....a lot more ecstatic than I may have let on.

You know why?

Because I wanted to be apart of it. I wanted to be included in something. I wanted to see if I belonged.

Now, I'm not sayin' I want the Parkers to adopt me or anything like that. I'm dating Ari. I'd never wanna be her brother!

But, I guess what I'm saying is...I just wanted to make sure it wasn't me. I wanted to make sure it wasn't my fault that my own family failed.

I'll be honest with you, I didn't find out the answer to that question. Maybe it is still my own fault for some reason.

But, what I did find out....is that family is important to me. It's more important than I thought it was. All of those years the hero commission spent trying to make me forget about my parents....about my old life...

About love....

They all came flooding back, stronger than ever. And now, I can safely say...

I am lonely for a family.

I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I want someone to love me like that. I want someone to care for me like that.

And while I know the Parkers don't love me, and why would they? They only met me once. But, while they don't love me...unfortunately, I'm still finding myself latching onto them. I'm latching onto them for the support I, so desperately, lacked as a child.

I know the Parkers could tell I was feeling this way. I could see it in their eyes. It made me embarrassed that they knew. It made me even more embarrassed that I still couldn't stop myself from trying to bond with them.

But, what made me fall in love with this family even more is the fact that they accepted it. I let small parts of my insecurities slip out this weekend. My shyness, my awkwardness, my timidness. I had moments where I accidentally revealed these aspects of myself to the Parkers.

"No one likes a timid boy, Kei-"

But, I didn't feel judged by them, when this happened. Not at all. They still treated me kindly, they even said they'd come visit me. They didn't mind who I truly was, just like Ari didn't mind.

The Parkers, Ari included, are kind enough to give me some of their affection, and for that I am grateful.

They are so nice to me, and I wanna see them again.

And Ari....

Ah, don't even get me started on Ari. Oh man, I could seriously talk about her for hours.

I've never had a girlfriend, before her. The hero commission always ingrained into my head that relationships were a waste of time.

Once I was old enough, they shoved a box of condoms into my hands, told me not to get anyone pregnant, and said that anytime I felt lonely...it just meant that I had to get my needs....met.

I took what they said as truth. I was lonely a lot, so I got my needs met....a lot. What made it worse, is that after I had sex....I only felt more lonely than I did before. I'd never been on a date before Ari. I'd never told a girl I had feelings for her. I never knew I was really capable of caring for someone.

But, this girl. This girl has changed me. She made me realize that once I fall....I fall hard. She really captured my heart, without even trying. It's like everything she says, everything she does, only pulls me in deeper. Her words have been playing over and over in my head all weekend long...

"To me.....you are perfect. There isn't one thing I would change about Keigo Takami. Not. One."

"Keigo, if I'm the first person to ever tell you how amazing you are, then I'm just the first person to speak the truth."

Damn, I'm getting teary eyed again, just remembering it.

Man, can you believe that? Can you believe she said that to me?

Ari, I really mean it when I say you're the one I've been waiting for.

And if this weekend has shown me anything about my true feelings, it's shown me that...

I love you, Ari.

I. Love. You.

Don't worry. I know I can't tell you. I know there are consequences to loving you.

I know that, when I ultimately crash and burn from this mission, you will hate me forever.

But, that doesn't stop me from loving you.

I know you will break my heart.

But, that doesn't stop me from loving you.

And I know that you deserve better than someone like me. But, once again...

That doesn't stop me from loving you.

Just like everything else in my life, I've accepted it. I've accepted that this time with Ari will only be something that I can look back on, and reminisce about.

It's something I'll be able to remember when she's gone. When she leaves me.

It's something I can lock away in my heart, and remember, when I want to feel happy.

And as much as I should probably pull away from her, sooner rather than later.....I can't, because I'm weak for her, and I don't want to think about the consequences to all of this.

I just want to enjoy this moment in time with my girlfriend. I want to experience this. A relationship with the girl I love. Something that's so foreign to me, yet so normal to everyone else.

Ari is one of the very few people/things in my life that make me truly happy. She is one of the very few people I can be myself around. She makes me feel good about myself, and makes me forget all of the horrible things I don't want to remember about my life.

She makes me feel like a good person, even though I know I'm not.

And I want to be loved by her.

Maybe, in a perfect world...I could have been.

But, here I am...

Brushing by Spinner...

Giving a nod to Mr. Compress....

Shooting a flirty wink at Toga, pretending to want her...

Giving Twice a high five...

And finally, coming face to face with Dabi, the man who wants to brutally murder the woman I love...practically begging him to let me into the league of villains. Begging him to finally let me meet Tomura Shigaraki.

I've already sealed my fate. Corrupting myself to put everyone else at ease, that's what I agreed to do. I'm doing this for the greater good. I know that. But even so, this is who I am, Ari. A liar. A manipulator. This is who I was trained to be. So I will do it. I will save everyone.

And I am so sorry I'm indirectly dragging you along for the ride.

But, still. I promise to protect you from all of this, Ari. I'm your angel in the sky. I won't let anyone hurt you, little dove.

"Ah. The bird brain finally arrives." Dabi stated lowly, his voice coming out smooth and sinister.

I simply let out an empty, absentminded chuckle, too deep within my own thoughts and emotions to even register the deadly situation I was currently in.

Big mistake.

Dabi cocked his head to the side, narrowing his piercing eyes at me.

"Oh? What's got you so down, number two hero?" He asked curiously, yet the mocking tone was still present in his voice.

Shit. Knock it off, Keigo. What the fuck am I doing?! Forget about my emotions right now. One wrong word, or look, could get my throat slit open.

I quickly shook away the thoughts of Ari and her family, shooting Dabi my typical "Hawks" grin.

"H-Hm? Oh, nothing. It's just that, meeting at 2am has me a little down. C'mon, man. I need my beauty sleep. What was so important that we needed to meet right now?" I groaned, letting out an over dramatic fake yawn.

I studied Dabi's face now. Really studied it, so I could get a read on him. It's something I do every time we meet. Something I do to gage whether he's found out I'm a spy.

Every time, I've looked at him....I realize he never really suspects anything-at least, not more than he usually does.

That is...

Until...

Right. Now.

A sudden shot of adrenaline spiked throughout my bloodstream. I felt the feathers of my wings automatically ruffle up in defense, as they sensed I was scared. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and my heart immediately jumped up my throat.

Why?

Because for the first time, since I've met him....Dabi looks as though he's found me out this time.

He looks like...he is going to kill me tonight.

"Don't worry. I've dragged you out here, in the middle of the night, for good reason, bird." Dabi started off, walking over to me menacingly.

I now noticed the members of the league of villains, standing directly behind me....preventing me from leaving.

Oh shit. Is this it? Is this the day I finally die? Damn, and right when I just found out I love Ari?

That kinda sucks, dude.

I cleared my throat, forcing myself to keep my wits. Maybe Dabi was just testing me.

"Oh ya? Then maybe you'd like to get to it, tough guy." I laughed, mentally cursing my voice for cracking ever so slightly.

Dabi smirked at me, picking up on my nerves, as he came inches away from my face.

I forced myself to keep his eye contact, definitely noticing the blinding, blue flame that now covered his arm.

He slowly brought his hand closer to my face, the sweltering heat of his blue fire making my cheek automatically start sweating.

"Let's talk, number two hero. I've got a couple questions for you."