Top pic credit: SleepWalkersQueen

Touya POV: ~ nine years ago ~

"Come on, boys! Let's pick up the pace. If you can't do something as simple as this, then you'll never be able to do anything right!" The nameless trainer of the hero commission boomed from the middle of the training yard.

I watched the other trainees around me, immediately whimper in knowing fear, wiping the vomit, blood, sweat, and tears from their faces, before forcing their broken bodies to work impossibly harder.

And, yeah, there was once upon a time that I felt the same as they did. So eager to please. So motivated and determined to show them that I can be powerful, too.

But, not anymore. I've been past that point for awhile now. So, instead, I just rolled my eyes at them, keeping my same, already gruelingly fast running pace.

No, I don't give a shit about trying to impress that fat man at the front and center of it all, anymore. After all, he yells so much, that his voice just comes out to me as white noise, at this point. Maybe, if he wanted a more effective system, he should stop talking for once, and read the room.

It's not as if yelling and physical abuse actually make people stronger. You know that firsthand, don't you, Endeavor? That's why you sent me here, after all. Cause you lost all patience and simple interest to teach me yourself, anymore. Shouto is a pretty great golden child, right?

But, then again, that's asking a lot, huh? Can't expect too much from these government people. If it's not about the hero commission this, or the hero commission that, then they don't know a thing-

"Hey, I'm talking to you, Touya!!! You're practically walking at this point! Are you so brain dead to where you can't do something as simple as move your fucking legs?!" The trainer screamed out at me in pure fury, slamming his clipboard down on the grass in a way that made me internally laugh.

I'd like to see that Fat Santa Claus run with this two-hundred pound sack on his back. Then, we'll see how simple he really thinks this is.

And while I had a lot more mental roasts to give the trainer of the hero commission, I was suddenly unable to focus on any of them as I heard the sound of small, heavy breaths directly behind me.

I thought everyone had already passed me...?-

"Hey, you. Dontcha think you ought to speed up a little? If that guy gets any angrier, you're gonna cause him to blow an artery, or somethin'." The chipper voice huffed out behind me, causing me to involuntarily snort a bit at the legitimate possibility of that statement.

I didn't even turn around to put a face to the voice. Mostly, because I already recognized the owner of that naggingly, positive pitch.

"And would that really be a bad thing, Hawks? Come on, don't tempt me to go any slower." I panted out, causing Keigo to let out a breathy laugh from behind me as I used the name I never use.

I heard his small footsteps quickly pick up their pace a bit, before he appeared directly next to me in a flash.

I didn't even need to turn to the side, to know that stupid, goofy smile of his was already directed at me, trying to give me an encouraging push to run faster.

"Hawks, huh? Hey, y'know, for you to call me Hawks would mean that you've finally accepted me as the winner of this whole contest. I didn't think you were the type to give up so easily. Let alone, allow yourself lose to me." He snickered out freely, adjusting the own pack on his back that weighed even more than mine.

Contest, huh? That's what he always calls these training simulations-as if it's all just a fun game, and that the losers of it go home alright.

It's very Keigo. It's a very child-like way of thinking, but that's how he's always been. Always tries to make everything a game for himself, to hide the amount of pressure that's placed on us.

On him, especially. That's the territory that comes with being Diane Himura's personal protégée, after all.

While his words were meant to give me some sort of motivation to go faster, so that I'd stop getting yelled at, all they did was make me slow down even more.

"You talk of winning this contest, yet, here you are at the back of the line with me. Wouldn't that make you a loser, as well?" I pointed out with a need to prove him wrong, yet not totally unwelcoming the little brother presence he's brought me for the past four years.

He was two years younger than me, after all. I make sure to remind him of that whenever he gets too in my face about things.

But, quite honestly-and while I'd never admit it, he's really the only thing that's kept me sane, during this endless haze from hell.

Yeah, like I said. I'll never admit that....

I could see Keigo's bright smile widen even bigger in my peripheral vision.

He didn't respond for a moment, hesitating to give me his true answer, as he wiped the steady drip of exhausted sweat from his forehead. Not that it mattered, his skin and hair were already completely soaked in the stuff.

"Hate to break it to ya.....but, I've already lapped you, buddy. Seven times now, to be exact. You'd know that, if you stopped lookin' at the ground like a bitchy, little brood-anddd, I never called ya a loser. You did that all on your own." The fourteen year-old bird brain teased, flashing that familiar smirk onto his fatigued, flushed cheeks.

I rolled my eyes at his stupidity, keeping my gaze forward as I drowned out the insulting yells of the trainer from my head.

"Don't call me buddy, so patronizingly, like that, bird shit. I am older than you. I'll beat you up." I pointed out grumpily, hiding a wince as I felt the heavy bag on my back starting to dig into my neck.

Keigo kept that annoying smile on his face. He was used to my attitude at this point. Nothing ever seemed to faze him.

And, of course, he knew I wouldn't really beat him up. We both knew I didn't even have the strength to do so. Not a bottom of the barrel guy like me.

But, he'd never bring attention to that. It's not in his nature to try and bring other people down-His true nature as Keigo, anyways. Hawks is a different story.

"Ah, well, I hope ya don't beat me up. You're my only friend here. You've heard the older kids call me the Fukuoka Fuckhead....and a slum rat....and trailer trash....and chicken shit-"

"Yeah, well fuck them, alright? Your first problem, is that you let them shit all over you, simply because you're the youngest one here. They don't deserve that whole older guy respect thing, okay? I've already told you that. They're jealous shits, and they'll be dead by the end of the year. Literally." I reassured roughly, feeling this nine-hours-straight-run finally starting to get to me as the training track began spinning in my vision a bit.

Keigo wiped his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand, only now just starting to breathe a bit heavier from this endurance test from hell.

"C'mon, Touya, don't say it like that. It's almost as if you're wishing for people to die-" He started saying, before a convenient movement a few feet ahead caught both of our attentions.

It was a typical site, at this point.

Keigo and I watched as one of the trainees, probably seventeen or eighteen, stopped his run with a stumble, abruptly shooting a projectile vomit stream of blood from his mouth, before he collapsed to the track floor.

His entire body began convulsing uncontrollably, as everyone-trainers included, watched from afar.

The monitor, planted under his skin, displayed his vitals on the giant screen at the front of the training track. He was still alive for now. But, with body levels like that? Nah, he won't make it.

I stared at the guy on the ground boredly, as Keigo and I were about to reach his position on the track. My intention was to pass him, just like we'd been taught to do in a situation like that.

But, Keigo's eyes widened in fear for a fraction of a second at the site, apparently, still not used to seeing people die in front of you, after all these years.

I shook my head knowingly as I watched him veer his path away from me, quickly making a beeline to the suffering cadet on the ground.

"Isn't that the guy who called you the Fukuoka Fuckhead at dinner last night?" I called out to him, not stopping my run as I watched Keigo turn the suffering boy on his left side.

"So?! That doesn't mean he deserves to-"

"HAWKS!!! GET YOUR SCRAWNY ASS MOVING RIGHT NOW!!!" The trainer boomed out from the center of the field, causing Keigo's calm pulse to quickly spike on the trainee vitals screen.

He's always been easily spooked. Even though he doesn't want to admit it.

"Huh?! B-But, he-" The bird boy tried to justify naively, making the mistake of showing these fuckers that he still had too much humanity left.

Big mistake, Keigo. Haven't you learned by now? You'll pay for this later on. They'll make sure of it.

Multiple trainers began screaming violently at the fourteen year old now, yet, he kept his shaky hand on the seizing boy's shoulder for comfort, not wanting to leave him.

His power's good, but his spirit is too soft. Too malleable for their use.

"Hawks, if you don't keep running within the next five seconds, I'll strap you down to the cot, and rip the feathers off your back as punishment again, one by one. You remember how much it hurt last time, don't you?" One of the other nameless trainers stated through a bullhorn, causing Keigo's eyes to widen in slight fear as he remembered the situation vividly.

But, pain was nothing new to him. Plus, he's never been the type to give up so easily.

His feathers ruffled uncomfortably at the thought, yet he didn't move from his position, quickly turning the, now limp, boy on his back before starting to perform chest compressions.

"M-My feathers sense that he's not b-breathing, anymore. He needs a doctor. H-His pulse-"

"Yes, Hawks. We can see his vitals on the screen. You don't need to tell us. Now, get up and keep running. Don't make us ask you again." The nameless trainer replied heartlessly, causing me to scoff at these so-called hero makers.

Yeah. They make heroes. But, who said the heroes were always the good guys? Just something I've started to notice over the last few years.

Sighing softly in annoyance for Keigo's need to disobey direct orders, I stopped my own run to wait for him.

He didn't even notice, letting out soft breaths of anxiety, as he continued to perform chest compressions on the doomed boy.

"Keigo. Come on. You've already fucked yourself over with a punishment at this point. Hurry up and get moving, before they make it worse for you-" I started saying, ignoring the way I was now getting yelled at for stopping.

Whatever. I've faced worse.

Keigo's golden eyes slowly began to fill with tears as he continued his pointless actions, frantically shaking his head no.

He's still too sensitive. They haven't fully broken him, yet.

"B-But, look!!! I'm bringing him back, Touya! See? He's coming back!!" Keigo yelled out stressfully, letting a small hopeful smile start curling up onto his lips as he continued pressing down on the boy's chest repeatedly-

"Little Keigo." A new voice suddenly called out from the intercoms above, causing Keigo's face to instantly pale.

The voice was calm, and even appeared somewhat gentle.

But, of course, we all knew that bitch was anything but gentle.

Like a dog loyal to its owner, Keigo's small, scarred hands slowly stopped their actions of reviving the boy now.....before he obediently sat back on his knees in defeat.

His eyes had gone blank with a knowing fear for what would happen to him later. His feathers twitched frantically, as he sensed the life of the doomed boy on the track slipping away again, yet forced himself to do nothing to help him this time.

I couldn't help but scoff in irritation for the power this woman held over everyone, shaking my head slightly at Keigo's new catatonic state.

"Good boy, Keigo." Diane reassured through the intercom as she saw the doomed boy's heart rate suddenly flatline on the screen.

Keigo's jaw tensed at the traumatic sound, gritting down on his teeth as he attempted to keep the blank look on his face.

He's still learning how to hide his true emotions. He's gotten better, but he's definitely nowhere near perfect, yet.

"You see, we don't revive the ones who've exhausted their potential. Sure, you're meant to save every civilian and earn their trust and praise. But, we can't have heroes collapsing like that, in the middle of a fight. It looks bad on us. He would have died, anyways. We just saved him the trouble of the future, by doing it now. Isn't that nice of us?" Diane asked emotionlessly, causing Keigo to robotically nod his head in agreement as he knew she could see him from wherever she was in this room.

"Good. Now, that we've gotten that out of the way, get up and finish the run, Hawks. That's an order. From me." Diane commanded firmly, causing Keigo to sniffle inaudibly before he tried to get himself back to his feet.

He winced slightly as he tried to fight against the heavy gravity of the bag on his back, stumbling on his knees slightly as he couldn't find the strength to stand up.

Nine hours of straight running will do that to a fourteen year old kid. It will do that to anyone.

"S-Shit. C'mon...." He grunted out in panic, immediately shooting his avian eyes towards the trainers in stress.

I groaned in annoyance at the mess he's made of things, reluctantly extending my hand out for him to grab onto.

He didn't have time to even look at it for more than a second, before Diane's voice suddenly came back on the intercom.

"Keigo will get up by himself." She ordered more firmly now, voice more lethal and dark as she spoke to me and not him.

But, I didn't care. It's not as if her threats were scarier than what my father gives me. I'd like to see her hit as hard as he can.

Defying Diane's orders, I burned my eyes into Keigo....keeping my hand extended for him to take.

He looked up at me with a look of silent help, yet quickly tore his eyes away from me and shook his head-

"No. I will get up by myself." He stated mechanically, mimicking Diane's order word for word as he tried his best to shuffle to his feet once more.

With no luck.

Starting to become thoroughly irritated with him now, I waved my extended hand around in his face, raising my brow at him threateningly.

"Wow, seriously? Stop being a bitch and just take my damn hand. Come on." I uttered impatiently, leaning down to grab onto his arm to pull him up.

He instantly flinched at my touch, flying his attention back up to the intercom that Diane spoke out of, before roughly slapping my hand away.

"I said no. I don't need you to help me. I'm strong enough by myself, so just leave me alone." He hissed out quietly, about to pop a blood vessel in his head from how hard he was straining to get himself back to standing.

Ignoring the screaming threats the trainer was giving me from the sidelines, I remained standing in my place, stubbornly crossing my arms as I watched Keigo struggle.

"Fine then. If you can get up so easily, do it. I'll wait for you-" I started saying, before Keigo's golden eyes shot up to me in full irritation.

"I don't need you to wait for me!! I've already lapped you eight times-"

"I thought you said it was seven times-"

"Just go!! I got this, alright? Trust me...ain't no thang, but a chicken wang. Right?" Keigo wheezed out with a forced smile, eyes pooling with undying stress the longer I stayed behind.

Seeing I was doing him more harm than good, I sighed in defeat, giving him a small nod as I left him behind to continue my own path.

"Fine, whatever. Do it however you want. But, just know...I won't wait for you next time, Keigo."

**********************************************

Another agonizing hour later, and the endurance test-or, as Keigo likes to call it, the contest, had ended with four casualties out of twenty-four cadets.

The whole thing's a pretty flawed system, honestly. Unless you're pre-trained by the commission, or the number two hero of Japan, you die pretty early on in the hazing stage.

And it's a pretty endless stage.

The hazing stage began four years ago. The idea is that the kids who wanna become pro heroes of Japan must have the strength to endure the hero commission's testing program. If you pass the training program, you get to become a pro hero. Lucky you.

Most kids underestimate what this program really means. They'll decide they wanna be a badass on a whim, go for a two mile jog, every other day, and show up here with a stupid smile on their face....acting as if they're ready to take on the world.

And within a month, the majority of them end up in body bags.

Four years ago, we started the hazing period with over two-thousand kids. Now, we're down to twenty-four-actually, twenty, after today.

I'd say that my father had absolutely no idea what really goes on behind closed doors, when he dumped me off here, one day. But, I highly doubt that's the case.

He started training me for this, from the age I was able to crawl. I was excited at first, willing to do whatever it took to become that special hero, who would follow in his footsteps and make him proud.

But, as time went by...my excitement turned to ash.

He told me how grueling the program would be; said that every hit he made to my face; every meal he starved me of; every sleepless night he forced me to face....and every burn that destroyed my skin would all prepare me to survive this process.

And what a process it is. What a totally, unheroic process it is.

I never expected to make friends here. Sure, I guess maybe I wanted to at first, but I'd been broken down pretty quickly by all the fucked up people here.

So, after awhile, I never wanted to make friends. I just wanted to do what I was ordered to do, so everyone would leave me alone.

I also never expected the other cadets to resort to the things they've done.

Everyone's so desperate to be the winners. So desperate to succeed and get the glory that they're willing to kill each other over it. Literally.

It made me laugh, knowing that the guy who strangled another kid while he slept was training to be one of Japan's saviors. It made me realize that you can't trust anybody. Definitely, not these scummy heroes, so I only closed myself off more.

And, apparently it was for a good reason as I found myself fall victim to one of these 'assassinations' one night-waking up, gasping for air as I felt a plastic bag being shoved over my face.

That is, until I didn't.

My eyes had been blown wide with fear as I came face to face with a kid-the youngest kid I've seen at this place. He had little red wings, and looked to be no older than ten.

He looked at me in concern, as he placed the deathly plastic bag in the trash can, gesturing to the knocked out murderer kid on the floor.

"He'd been followin' ya. Didn' wanna see you end up like th' others." The bird kid said in a strange dialect that was unfamiliar to me.

Growing up in Endeavor's expensive house, I never had any need to head down to this kid's side of town. But, hey, not as if I'd make fun of his weird accent now. He had just saved my life.

Judging from how quiet and young he seemed, I didn't expect him to last more than a few weeks.

And, I also didn't expect him to fucking follow me around everywhere, after that, like a damn duck...

Trainees aren't allowed to speak with eachother. Those are the rules. But, somehow I found this bird kid popping out of the trees I sat under to eat my lunch; or sneaking up on me in the empty hallways to "just say hey!"

He's not so quiet once you get to know him. I'll tell you that. Four years later, and I can't get him to shut the hell up, or leave me alone.

And, then, once I saw him use his wings in action for the first time, I was surprised at how much strength he had in that scrawny, little body of his.

Well, he was more than happy when I finally acknowledged his existence, and asked him where the hell he learned to get that strength at his age.

"Ah, well, I've been trainin' for this contest, since six years old, y'know! I ain't one 'a these randos who came in here, self taught. No, no. Commission took me in at the beginner's stage. They expect me to pass this contest stage with flying colors, so I will!" He chirped out much too fast and too positive for my taste, already making me tired with his bright demeanor.

I don't know why he's so excited to talk to me. I barely even acknowledge him. You'd think I'm the first kid he's ever talked to, or something....

But, I guess you could say he grew on me. He wasn't bothered by my own social awkwardness or accidental insults about his demeanor, and he didn't seem caught up in the crooked-ness of the hero world, the way the others already were.

He hasn't been ruined, yet. He was like a breath of fresh air, so I decided to keep him around.

I watched him slowly get stronger, over the course of these four years. Watched how after all the other trainees went to sleep for the night, a few guys in suits would take Keigo to another room to continue his own training.

Watched him get the shit beat out of him when he went too soft; or when he wasn't channeling his hero alias, Hawks, enough.

"Why do you let them do that to you?" I asked him, during a night we both snuck out of our rooms to hang out.

"Do what?" Keigo asked with a soft tiredness, rubbing his black eye with tender care.

"You know what." I almost seethed out, feeling the ghost of Endeavor's fist still slamming into my own face.

And, very slowly over time, that bright, genuine smile of his began to dull into something less sincere, and more chiseled into something he never wanted to be.

"Oh, I don't mind, really. It's a small price to pay, if it means I get to become a hero who saves people." He rehearsed in a robotic tone that almost made him sound brainwashed.

Four years later, and I've slowly watched him succumb to the system. I've watched the innocence in his eyes grow duller, everyday, and I know that one day....it will no longer be there, at all.

It made me angry. Especially, with my own past, it made me angry that he was willing to make himself a human punching bag so damn easily, for the sake of others. Who gave him the right to be such a martyr?

But, regardless, I kept him around. Even though I saw him slowly changing into everything I'm starting to hate, I kept him around.

Maybe, it's because I'd never had a friend of my own. Maybe, it's because I thought I'd be able to save him, somehow. Maybe I even wanted to look after him, cause he reminded me a bit of my own little brothers-not that those guys needed the help of their weakest brother.

I don't know the exact reason, but I kept him around, and came to rely on him. Especially, as the grueling days and nights of training became consistently harder.

It was easy to see that the further we went along in the hazing stage, the harder the exercises would become, in order to continue weeding out the weakest ones.

And, yet, four years later....Keigo and I are still here. I'm not surprised he made it this far, but I'm surprised that I did.

My father never hesitated to tell me how worthless I am. I figured I'd be too weak to make it past the first day.

Guess it helps you to keep going, when you don't feel totally alone.

And, it seems, that even after the day is over, there's still no rest for the chivalrous heroes in training.

Twenty pairs of legs were shaking to even stand in a straight, horizontal line, as we waited in silence for the trainers to come back, to assess our ten hour run performance. Sounds of exhausted breathing and a few soft whimpers filled the eery, dimly lit room.

Keigo stood next to me-shorter than all the older kids, and matching my position of a straight posture with his hands behind his back. He obediently looked straight ahead, like the others.

His wings had drooped slightly from the heavy bag that had been squishing them for ten hours. He could have easily broken the rules and used his quirk to help him during the exercise, but the damn, goody-two-shoes didn't, of course. Annoying.

And then, the dark metal doors creaked open, causing all cadets in the room to quickly shuffle up straighter than they'd been before.

I watched Keigo's wings slowly press tighter against his back-a tell tale sign that he was nervous, even when he didn't wanna show it.

Pristine dress shoes knocked against the wood floor with a dominating silence, passing by each of our ratted tennis shoes that hid bloody, blistered feet.

To keep the anticipation high and make us sweat more liters than we already had today, the three men in the room-and Diane, refused to speak just yet, running their emotionless, cold eyes over each and every one of us with unfair judgement.

Diane was the one to break the silence a few moments later, slowly starting to walk the short line of remaining cadets.

"Excellent work today, boys. You did relatively well during this exercise. I was expecting more casualties today, so this? This leftover bunch is certainly a wonderful achievement." She smiled emotionlessly, clacking her heels closer and closer towards Keigo and I's position in the line.

Keep walking, bitch. Just keep walking. I mentally said to myself as she neared closer and closer....

......stopping her walk in front of the two of us.

Shit...

Wishing I hadn't, I couldn't help but swallow thickly as Diane ceased her steps, realizing there'd be a punishment coming, after all.

How could there not be, when I came in dead last place, and Keigo tried to save someone he shouldn't have?

And, clearly, the bird boy understood this, too...standing so incredibly still at this point, that I don't even think he was breathing, anymore.

"But, of course, every achievement always has a few hiccups along the way. Isn't that right, you two?" She stated condescendingly, voice suddenly more dark and heartless than it had been a few moments ago.

Keigo and I knew better than to answer, remaining as silent as possible as we awaited our fate.

But, Diane wasn't happy with the silence, slowly turning her eyes to both of our faces now.

She waited to see which of us would meet her gaze first, and wanting to get my punishment over with quickly, I purposely did so.

The movement of my gaze quickly caught her attention as she kept her eyes locked on me, letting those disgusting orbs gradually fill up with pools of sinister excitement for whatever she was about to say.

This is the poster face of the heroes.

"Let's start with the loser of the day then, shall we?" She chuckled lowly, burning her eyes at me as she continued a few moments later.

"Quite frankly, I'm not even sure why you're still here. You can thank your father for that..."

Yeah, I know that. Just another reason why I hate him-

"But, don't think he'll always be the one to save you, Touya. After all, you're just barely hanging on. You're obviously the weakest one left. You come last in every exercise. It'd be a shame if one day you finally failed to make the cut." She threatened out with a sharp tongue, letting the corner of that serpent mouth of hers curl up into a small smirk.

I felt anger bubbling up inside of me as I took in her words. She sounded no better than my father, but even then, I couldn't say she was worse than him. That just shows how much of a piece of shit he's come to be.

Regardless, it drives me crazy. People like her. People like him. If it's not one, then it's the other. It's like never having a moment to get away from it all, and breathe.

It's all I know. It's my entire world, and it's been that way since I've been born-no, actually, it's been that way since Shouto was born. Since he became the golden child and forced me into the trash, like yesterday's leftovers. It makes the world seem so mean.

"Well, going to say anything back?" Diane taunted lowly, walking just a tad closer to my fatigued frame as she saw me not reacting.

Like I said, she can't hit as hard as my dad.

But, I was tired. Exhausted, really. I didn't have it in me to fight back right now. I was getting tired of fighting, quite honestly.

So, instead of saying the millions of insulting things I wanted to say, I simply gave my head a bored shake of denial, averting my eyes to the wall behind her.

And, the bitch just kept going with it.

"Yeah. That's what I thought. You can't talk back, Touya, because you don't have the power. You don't have any power in anything. You're a weak boy. And, if you don't get yourself together soon, that's how you'll leave this earth, too." She uttered menacingly, driving a metaphorical knife through my stone cold heart with her words.

It's funny. I've heard worse about myself, but for some reason....I find myself believing what she's saying.

Even so, conversations like these didn't faze me all too much anymore. I couldn't care less about anything, really.

However, a certain someone else tends to take every word to heart.

And Diane knew it as she quickly lost interest in my own disinterest to her words, needing to feed her ego by ripping into the soul carcass of her soft spoken pupil.

"And you, little Keigo." She started off a bit softer, knowing the exact limits and manipulations she needed to mutilate his mind.

Keigo's wings ruffled up without his consent, little feather blades instinctively sharpening on his back, before quickly softening.

Diane laughed tauntingly at the action, looking at him as if he were nothing more than a scared, little bird.

She was more comfortable with him, than she was with me, gently grabbing his sweaty face between her fingers to keep his attention.

"I expect better from my star pupil. But, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for a moment. So, tell me....what were the rules of today's exercise?" Diane asked a bit animatedly, speaking to Keigo as if he were a tiny child, or a damn puppy.

He answered immediately, voice raspy and thick with fatigue.

"T-Th' rules were-"

"Hawks doesn't stutter like that. And tighten up your word pronunciations, so you stop sounding like such uneducated street trash." Diane cut him off quickly, squeezing his face between her hand a little harder.

Keigo's wings ruffled up in crumbling composure once again, yet he pressed on.

"The rules were to keep running, until you told us we could stop." He explained calmly, fixing his word pronunciations and giving a small, unfamiliar Hawks drawl to his voice to make Keigo disappear.

Diane kept her gaze burning his face, nodding softly in agreement.

"So, you do know the rules. And, yet, you still disobeyed them. You disobeyed me. You disobeyed the hero commission. The same people who take care of you, and give you everything you could ever want. Is that what I'm hearing you tell me?" She asked knowingly.

Keigo didn't bother to try and explain himself, anymore, knowing better than to speak his own mind.

"Yes." He stated blankly, normally bright eyes dulling away.

"Mhm." Diane hummed, pursing her lips in fake thought, before continuing.

"Well, if you can't follow even the simplest orders, then perhaps I should let one of these other kids take your place as my pupil. Perhaps, you'd rather die alone as Fukuoka street trash, than live the glorious life as a successful, special hero, who actually means something? Perhaps you'd rather be absolutely nothing, and show everyone how worthless you really are. Is that what I'm hearing?" She asked calmly, digging the ends of her manicured nails into Keigo's cheeks.

The color drained from his face at the possible proposal, as he kept his lifeless gaze on Diane.

"N-No-"

"Stuttering again?-"

"No. No. Please. That's not what I want." He rasped out a little quicker, subtly becoming a little desperate now.

Diane picked up on his desperation, immediately twisting the situation around.

"Oh? It's not? Well, it is your choice, after all. Are you saying that you wish to stay?" She asked in fake innocence, causing Keigo to quickly shake his head within her grasp.

"Yes. I want to stay-"

"Want? No. You mean, you're asking me if I'll let you stay, right?" She immediately corrected, subtly starting to raise the pressure of the conversation with each word.

Keigo was completely malleable in her hands at this point, saying whatever he could to please the bitch.

"Yes, I'm asking you if I can stay." He clarified, boring his pleading golden eyes into her gaze.

Diane's eyes darkened slightly at the power he gave her over himself, causing a small smile to form on her face.

"Say please." She commanded just for fun, having the time of her life tormenting the kid.

"Please, let me stay." Keigo said robotically, only a few more comments away from crumbling.

His mental state isn't up to their standards, yet. That's obvious. I'm sure they'll spend more time breaking him down, within the next few years.

Diane nodded in satisfaction to Keigo's obedience, wanting to get one more dig in, before she let up.

"And apologize for your outrageous behavior today." She ordered, loosening her grip on Keigo's face slightly to reveal the slight drops of blood her indented nails left in his cheeks.

"I'm sorry for what I did today. I promise, I won't do it again, unless you tell me to." He quickly replied, voice full of regret and sorrow for trying to save a life.

How ironic.

Seeming satisfied with the emotional damage she inflicted on him today, Diane released his face from her grasp without a word, slowly walking back towards the commission people.

"I appreciate the apologies from you, boys..." She started off, causing me to scoff softly.

I never fucking apologized-

"But, apologies mean nothing without consequences, to make sure you atone for your wrong doings appropriately." Diane alluded, slowly turning her attention to the biggest, burliest trainer in the room.

And right then and there, I already knew what was coming next. And judging from the way Keigo's wings dropped to the floor, he knew, too.

"Shit..." I sighed under my breath, automatically walking towards the center of the room, with Keigo knowingly following close behind me.

The rest of the cadets wordlessly took a few, synchronized steps back, remaining in the room to watch.

Keigo and I turned to face each other, his eyes meeting mine with a deflated look of apology.

Stop apologizing, it's annoying. It's not like you did anything wrong, so why continue to give them so much power over you?

Without another word, the trainer slowly walked towards Keigo and I, giving his knuckles a small crack for the hell he was about to put us through.

Diane kept her eyes on me as she spoke her next words, trying and failing to hide the smile of victory on her face.

"Rough them up good, please. To where they'll never want to disobey again."

************************************************

Endless hours later, when the moon was already high in the sky, I found my sore-and now, completely bruised, body quietly making its way down the trainee dorm hallway.

Four years of doing this, and I've finally found the perfect system of avoiding all the security cameras and the guards, with ease.

Quite honestly, I'm tired. I'd rather be asleep right now, than be sneaking around this god awful place. But, that was a pretty rough beating today, and...he's too sensitive-and small, for that matter.

Reaching the door I'd been looking for, a few moments later, I gave three, rhythmic, inaudible taps to the wood with my index finger.

I knew his weird ass bird instincts would pick up on the sound and know it's me.

And, it looks like I was correct as I heard small, muffled footsteps padding across the room, before the door quickly opened.

Keigo's bloodshot eyes looked content, but not surprised, at my visit...before he immediately stepped aside to usher me in as fast as possible.

While he gave a frantic wave of his hand for me to hurry in, I took my sweet time....slowly sauntering into his tiny, standard room.

It looked the same as mine-no personal items. No games, books, or things to keep ourselves occupied, since we never have any free time. Just a twin bed with a single window in the corner.

As usual, Keigo kept his window and the curtains open. I always keep mine closed, because I couldn't care less about looking at the outside world. But, he loves to look at the sky and feel the breeze come into his room.

Even when it's the dead of winter....

"Holy shit-Do you need to keep that open, right now? It's literally snowing outside, Kei." I scoffed in pointless annoyance to the open window, hearing the door carefully close behind me as quietly as possible.

Keigo chuckled softly at my words, unbothered as usual by my lack of proper kindness and socialization.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I like to see th' moon, and the night clouds, and all that. Wasn't asleep, yet, so I didn't mind. But, 'ey, if you're cold, you can close it." He suggested, letting out a tired sigh for the day we had as he slowly walked back over towards his bed.

I could hear a slight limp in his step, making me realize just how badly he got beat today.

Shrugging dismissively at his suggestion, I climbed up into my usual seat on his window sill, rummaging around in my jacket pockets for the one thing I truly needed, right now.

"Whatever. Keep it open. I don't care. Do what you want, and quit trying to please everyone else, all the time. Seriously, it's getting on my nerves." I muttered quietly, pulling out the pack of cigarettes I worked so hard to steal from one of the higher ups.

It's a habit I picked up, about a year ago. With no books, or anything to keep myself occupied during the sleepless nights, what else was I supposed to do?

Not to mention, it's a bit of stress relief. These commission guys are rich, so you know the quality's good-

"Y'know....you should really try to stop that. I heard cigarettes aren't all that good for ya." Keigo pointed out softly, plopping down on the foot of his bed as he watched me light it.

I used an actual lighter this time, too sore and exhausted from the day to create even a simple, little flame, at this point.

"Oh, yeah? Neither is getting clocked in the face by a guy who's four times your size. But, it still happens, doesn't it? People still do things that aren't good for other people, so why not me? Especially, since the only person I'm hurting is myself. That's nothing new to me, at this point." I countered, speaking with the cigarette between my teeth before taking a drag.

The very first hit is always the best one.

I closed my eyes for a moment, finding a small moment of happy escape as I allowed the nicotine to slowly course through my bloodstream.

Keigo didn't say anything, yet, watching as I rested my head back against the wall, opening my half lidded eyes with the exhale of the smoke.

He chuckled quietly at my reaction of bliss, cocking his head to the side like a damn bird.

"Wow, is it really that great? Or, are ya jus' being dramatic, like always?" He smiled, the grin coming out sad and lopsided since one side of his face was completely bruised and swollen shut.

I shrugged in contemplation to his comment, taking another long drag, before tauntingly waving the cigarette around in his face.

"You always ask that, but never just find out for yourself." I stated boredly, already expecting him to decline the offer like he always does. Damn goody-two-shoes is what he is.

Keigo's golden eyes slowly trailed to the glowing cigarette curiously, before he immediately ripped his gaze away-almost as if reprimanding himself for even looking at the thing.

"Ah. No thanks. Diane always says I'm not allowed to-"

"Diane, Diane, Diane. Fuck Diane. Diane also beat the shit out of you, a hero in training, for trying to save someone today, so I'd say her logic ain't always the way to go." I spat out harsher than I meant to, fully intending my anger towards the situation to be directed towards that whore bitch.

But, I only now realized that Keigo was still incredibly shaken up about everything that happened today, as he softly flinched at my words....looking like nothing more than a vulnerable, abused animal.

He wasn't his usual, beaming self. Even after a beating or a rough day, he'd always normally be in happy spirits when we had our nightly hangouts, never letting the negativity get to him, as best he could.

However, today he seemed to be a bit more broken, not making a joke or a fake reassurance that everything was fine.

Instead, he silently leaned closer to my hand to take the cigarette, the shift in position causing his face to be made fully visible in the moonlight.

It allowed me to get a clear look at him and see just how fucked up he really looked. His face was unrecognizable from how badly he'd been beaten-worse than mine, by a lot. He had two black eyes. Dried blood on his swollen nose, a large bloody scrape on his forehead, and his mouth and cheeks were full of cuts and discolored bruising welts.

The most ironic thing is that he didn't make a sound as they pummeled him into the ground today. He simply closed his eyes and retreated to another part of his mind, waiting and praying for it to be over in suffering silence.

But, now...reaching for my cigarette, bruises and cuts lined his trembling, scrawny arm. And even through the swelling of his eyes, I could tell he'd been crying-sobbing himself to sleep, before I came in.

I felt my usual, bored glare legitimately melting away into subtle concern for his appearance, keeping my gaze on him as he took the cigarette from me.

He let out a small sigh as he inspected the stick between his fingers, looking at the thing as if it brought back a million memories of his own.

"Man. Y'know, my dad was a big fan of these. Used to force me to use my feathers to steal the packs for him. He wasn't a very nice guy, if I didn't listen." Keigo rasped out quietly, keeping his dull eyes on the glowing flame as he thought about his past.

The words from him had me intrigued, considering Keigo has never mentioned his parents to me, even once, since we've been here. He always talked about Fukuoka, how he lived on the streets before the hero commission took him in. But, anytime the conversation had started to take a turn into his relatives or deep personal life, he always shut down.

It's as if he felt ashamed of where he came from; guilty by associating to the ones who brought him into this world.

But, I know Keigo. And he's never one to bring up something, unless he's looking to talk about it. And today, he finally brought up his parents.

"Your old man forced a five year old to steal cigarettes for him? Sounds like a total dick." I reasoned vaguely, knowing that if I bombarded sensitive Keigo with too many questions at once, he'd become too overwhelmed with a pry into his personal life, and change the subject.

And it seems that I played my cards well as a dry smile of agreement rose onto Keigo's face, before he pressed his bruised lips together in memory.

"You could say that again. He didn't actually need me to steal the cigarettes, either. Could 'a done it himself. But, it's cause he knew I didn't want to, that he made me do it. He liked to see me suffer. Liked to see me do bad things like that, cause he said it made me look just like him." Keigo explained quietly, voice going a bit lower and darker as he gripped the stick a little tighter between his bloody fingers.

My brows raised in slight surprise to Keigo's admittance of his past. I mean, I always had a feeling that it wasn't pretty. You can just tell how sad this kid's life used to be, based on the helpless, odd way he acts.

But, I wasn't expecting his parents-or, his dad, anyways, to sound so....

"Psychopathic. The guy sounds like a total nut." I stated honestly, causing Keigo to nod in agreement as he closed his eyes.

"Yeah. He was..." The bird boy started off, quickly closing his mouth before he could continue.

His brows furrowed down a bit as I could tell there was something else he wanted to say. Something he'd obviously never told anyone before. Something that clearly seemed to hold a heavy burden in his heart.

A few heartbeats of silence had passed, before Keigo finally spoke a single word. A word to show just how much he trusted me and our friendship.

"Takami." He simply said, slowly opening his eyes before directing them up towards me.

Caught off guard by the sudden break in the silence, I tilted my head to the side, staring at Keigo in question before he spoke again.

"M..My last name. My real last name. It's....it's...Takami." He clarified slowly, unable to hold my gaze as he quickly looked back down in shame.

Takami...

My jaw slowly dropped open as the realization began to click.

"Takami....as in....The Thief Takami?" I uttered slowly, already getting my answer just from Keigo's reaction of guilt.

"Mhm. S'my dad..." He uttered curtly, running an anxious hand through his hair as he continued to avoid my gaze.

And while I'd already pieced it together in these short few seconds that Keigo spoke, I couldn't help but feel myself becoming shocked all over again as I leaned forward on my seat now.

"Wait-seriously?! That guy's like a total, whacko serial killer." I pointed out casually, only realizing after I said it, that my statement did absolutely nothing to help the situation.

Keigo sighed in pain as he forced himself to hear my words, quickly redirecting his attention back to me reluctantly.

"Yeah, I know, alright. That's why no one's ever supposed to know my last name, you got that? Anyone who knows it can totally piece it together. Takes alotta trust for anyone to know my real name. They could easily ruin everythin' I've worked so hard for. So, you can't tell anyone, got it?-plus, my dad's not too big a threat anymore, ey? Not since Endeavor came in and took him away forever. Not since....he saved me like that." He tried to reassure himself, breaking into a small smile towards the end as he spoke the name that made my blood freeze now.

His words didn't surprise me. I remember the day my dad took down the Thief Takami. I just hadn't had the next minutes of time to piece together that it was Keigo's abusive, psychopathic father that my dad took down.

How ironic. One psychopathic, abusive father being hailed as a hero for taking down another psychopathic, abusive father.

Not speaking for a moment, I simply stared at Keigo's growing smile of admiration as he thought about the good person he dreamed my dad was.

He doesn't know my last name, either-

"That's why Endeavor's my favorite hero. He saved my life. He took my dad away from me, so that I never have to see him again. He....he can't hurt me, anymore. He can't hurt anyone else, either. And I could never thank Endeavor-san enough for doing something so amazing and brave like that." Keigo beamed softly, clearly finding some semblance of hope in the world that always tried to knock him down.

So, who am I to ruin the one piece of happiness he has, by letting him know who the hell Endeavor really is?

Instead, I chuckled in bitter understanding to his words, watching him finally take the cigarette in his mouth without a second thought.

"I won't tell anyone about your dad, Kei. And don't feel too bad about it, anyway. Trust me when I say that my dad isn't any better." I reassured honestly, too distracted by my own memories to monitor how much smoke he just inhaled.

I couldn't help but laugh at my ironic, internal thoughts, keeping my distracted gaze to the snowy sky with amusement.

"But, man, your dad and my dad are really one of a kind. They should get together and have a fucking picnic-" I started off, before Keigo's loud wheezes and chokes filled the room.

If I wasn't so worried about getting caught, I would have definitely laughed at the way the giant cloud of smoke puffed out of his mouth and nose in a jumbled mess-watching his, now teary, eyes squeeze shut, while his nose crinkled up in disgust.

I quickly hopped off the window sill, slapping my hand over his mouth to keep him quiet.

"Shut the hell up!! Are you looking to get hit again?!!" I hissed out quietly, causing Keigo to quickly grab the pillow off his bed and shove his entire face in it, so he could cough in peace.

I let out a small huff of relief at his silence, watching the way he handed the cigarette back to me with his head still face down in the pillow.

This time I did laugh, happily snatching the stick from his fingers so I'd have it all to myself once more.

"You weren't supposed to take that much on the first hit, dummy." I chuckled softly, shaking my head in amusement as I directed my gaze out the window again.

Keigo's head slowly lifted from his pillow upon hearing my genuine laugh. The sound of it caused his own face to brighten up a bit as he knows how hard it can be to get me amused about something.

"Woulda been nice to know before I did it." He sighed softly, letting out one more cough, before following my gaze outside.

I watched him shuffle around on his bed from my peripheral vision, noticing the way he winced with every movement to try and get more comfortable.

"But, seriously. How are you feeling after today? I told you you'd get punished, if you stopped to help that kid on the track." I blurted out insensitively, internally cringing at my choice of words.

I didn't mean to say it like that. What I meant, is that I wish he'd never stopped running, so they wouldn't have beat the shit out of him.

But, the reason that Keigo and I's friendship has gotten so far, is because I think he's similar to me, in a way. While he seems energetic and outgoing, once you really get to know him, he doesn't seem like the type to be familiar with how friendships work. He's not bothered by my odd, stand offish comments, because he just seems happy that someone wants to talk to him.

"Yeah, I know I shouldn'a stopped to help 'em. It was wrong." He sighed softly, causing my brows to furrow in annoyance, even though he semi just agreed with my point.

"Oh, now you think it's wrong? You seemed pretty sure it was right, when you were pumping your hands on his chest." I scoffed out slightly, taking another hit of the cigarette, before I saw a tiny hand extend itself from the corner of my eye.

I looked over, seeing Keigo looking at the cigarette with a hopeful glance to try again, causing me to wordlessly hand it to him as I waited for a response.

He took a small sigh, as he looked at the glowing stick in his hand, pressing his lips together in determination, before carefully and slowly inhaling the smoke this time.

I heard him choke slightly with another urge to cough, yet he fought it and kept the smoke inside his mouth for a bit, letting the stuff dry out his young lungs.

He slowly exhaled a few seconds later, golden, predatory eyes piercing my gaze through the cloud of grey smoke.

"Yeah. Thought it was right at the time.....but, he's....well, he's exhausted his potential, so he was already useless at that point." Keigo stated in depressing monotone, practically repeating Diane's statement word for word.

He wouldn't have said that a month ago. Every day, he changes more. Every day, he allows them to break his mind willingly.

And every day I see it, the sight only makes me more angry.

"Oh, shut the hell up with that crap. You know it's not true." I muttered out in annoyance, watching him take another hit of the cigarette a little too comfortably this time.

I leaned forward from my seat on the window, snatching the stick out of his mouth with purpose.

He looked at me in slightly disappointed confusion, reluctantly blowing out the last of the smoke he'd been given.

"And, that's enough of that. Don't start making this a habit. You're too young. It's bad for you. Don't want to end up like that killer father of yours, right." I replied bluntly, pulling my jacket tighter against my body at the small breeze of winter air that seeped into my bones.

Keigo simply hummed in submissive disapproval, bringing back the relevant parts of the conversation.

"Maybe, it is true though, Tou. I mean....Diane had a point. He would have died at some point-" Keigo continued naively, letting himself become brainwashed with all the lies and manipulations I can't stand.

"For fuck's sake-Why the hell do you even listen to what she says? She's horrible to you. She beats you and calls you worthless. People like that don't deserve so much power over you." I reminded him, waiting for his usual nod of agreement to my point.

But, instead, I watched his, already blank, eyes glaze over to completely lifeless, as he said his next words.

"I deserved the beatings. And, if I don't continue to pull my weight around here, then I am worthless." Keigo pointed out emotionlessly, causing my eyes to immediately whip over to him in a fury.

"You're not worthless, Kei! Why are you letting her win this game?! Why are you letting her dictate your worth?!" I hissed out quietly, wishing I'd be allowed to yell.

Keigo sighed softly in slight agitation, gently caressing one of his swollen, throbbing eyes.

"Cause, I'm not good for anything else. I'm just street trash, without Diane. The son of a murderer. I need her, in order to be a special hero. She can make me be something. She can make me special; a shining light for everyone. That's always been my dream. And, if it means I gotta take a few punches to the face and a couple insults, along the way? Then, hey, you bet I'm all for it." He reasoned poorly, causing my anger to elevate at such a ridiculous statement.

I'm no stranger to getting my ass beat. I'm no stranger to seeing my siblings get their asses beat. My choices were taken from me, the moment my father deemed me as a throw away, compared to his precious Shouto.

So, the fact that Keigo's willingly allowing people to use him as a human, mental and physical, punching bag just for the sake of becoming a hero? Just shows how fast he's slowly succumbing to the system. How fast he's starting to become like everyone else here.

They're breaking him.

Because, they've made him believe that he's got no way out. That's what they've made me believe to.

I sighed softly at the thoughts, tossing my cigarette on the window sill, before putting it out underneath my ratty running shoe.

"Don't you just wish you could run away from it all, sometimes?" I asked a bit softer, meaning the question as something more rhetorical.

Keigo was quiet before answering. He broke the silence with a sad chuckle a few moments later.

"Mhm. I've thought about rippin' m'wings off, y'know. I've yanked the feathers out a thousand times, to see if they'd ever stop growin' back. But, they always do." He uttered neutrally.

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"Yea. I don't do it much, anymore. It's somethin' I did a lot, when I was younger. When I first started out here. Now? I've accepted it. All of it." The bird boy said quietly, voice a bit lower in order to hide how he was really feeling about that statement.

I remained quiet at his words, giving a small nod of acknowledgement, but not having the energy to say anything.

But, Keigo surprised me by speaking again a few seconds later, saying his next statement as an affirmation for himself.

"So, yeah. I've thought about running away. But, if I did, then I'd never become a special hero. So, I never will. No matter what." He stated, closing his bruised eyes in an acceptance that lit a fire of resentment within my heart.

It's not his fault. I know it's not. This is just how he'd been raised, since he's been six.

But, that didn't stop me from being angry with him. I need to take my anger out on someone, and Diane and my father don't give me that relief I'm looking for. Maybe, because I just expect them to disappoint me.

I felt my jaw tensing in irritation as I felt the only friend I've ever had slowly slipping through my fingers, slowly allowing himself to become everything we hate.

But, still, I had to try again.

"Even if they break you down a million times? Even if they turn you into a monster, just like them? Even if you become just like Diane? You'll still accept it?" I asked blankly, not wanting to hear his answer, because I already knew what it would be.

And he said it immediately. Without hesitation. Almost as if he already believed all of their bullshit and ideals, himself.

"Yeah."

How dare you, Keigo? How dare you do that to yourself? How dare you become like her? Like him?

I closed my eyes shut at his words, hating the way I actually felt my throat tightening up. I never thought I cared so much about what Keigo said. Not until now.

Maybe, it's cause I always hoped that he'd never get to this point. Maybe, it's because I didn't think he was capable of doing so, and now I'm angry that he's proved me wrong, and proved everyone else right.

"That's just selling your soul to the devil, Keigo." I whispered somberly, feeling my friendship slowly fading away over time.

And, then, he surprised me again. His normally soft eyes finally lost all of their innocence now, as he shot me the smirk of a stranger. The smirk of a hero.

"Heh. Yeah. Well, after all the things I'd been taught to do....after all the things I would do for the hero commission.....I definitely ain't no one's angel. So, it's alright. It's all gonna be okay." He drawled out confidently, shrugging his shoulders insincerely. Almost as if he was trying to shrug Keigo away.

Once again, my throat tightened up more. And, also once again, it made me angry that I trusted Keigo to be different from everyone else.

"Do you really believe that?" I asked blankly, voice full of deflated emotion, as I tried to find acceptance that my only friend had finally given up on being himself.

The look in his eyes wanted to revert back to who he wanted to be, yet he continued to force it away, wiping the crusted blood away from his nose casually.

"Nope. But, Hawks does. So, I'll force myself to believe it, too."

And with that, the air was quiet between us with a silence so chilling, that it rivaled the winter's bone blowing in from Keigo's opened window.

I felt sad. I felt angry. I felt alone. But, most of all, I felt betrayed; forced to come to the realization that everyone eventually changes and succumbs to the evil bleakness that this world forces upon, even the most innocent, shoulders.

Finally, I asked my last question. It was more of a statement, but also a silent chance for Keigo to deny my assumption and prove me wrong. Prove to me that the world isn't always so mean.

"Then, it seems that you're already lost to them, huh?" I uttered blankly, keeping my gaze on the milky, crescent moon.

The fourteen year old let out a dry, sorrowful chuckle, before turning his empty, beaten, darkening golden eyes on me in pain as he spoke the truth.

"Yeah. Guess so."

************************************************

Next Chapter Title: Memories That Turned To Ash (Part 2)