Ash: Helloo!

Matti: [Raises hand] Hej.

Ash: We're back with a second episode of The Arranged Boyfriend Project, all because we sorta ran out of time yesterday. I'm ThatHoneyMoonFiasco, and this is just ... this is just Matti.

Matti: [Grinning]

Ash: If you didn't catch the first episode, go watch that now so that you're all up to speed with what we're doing here, otherwise pretty much none of this will make any sense. Also you get to see my pathetic attempt at asking my best friend out, which went better than I thought, actually.

Matti: It's not like I even had the choice of turning you down. That'd be some crappy experiment.

Ash: Alright. I tried. And it was awkward. And awful. This whole thing is gonna be awkward as s**t though, dude. But good news! I moved in. Now Matti has to put up with me near enough 24/7. [Turns to Matti] [Slow grin]

Matti: Yup. Not like we've never lived together before. Uni days, bro. Uni days and all that it implies.

Ash: [Laughs] Except this time you have a dishwasher.

Matti: What?

Ash: Just I never noticed you had a dishwasher before. It's cool.

Matti: ... [Pauses] ... Thanks for validating my household utilities? [Snorts] So ...er ... who's going first? You?

Ash: Sure. So, quick run over some of the comments we received on YouTube. Like, 90 percent of them are positive, 5 percent of you think this is dumb, and the remaining morons on there are just spammers. I'm gonna go with that 90 percent – I think it's pretty interesting where this will go. And in response to MaryFahey on Wattpad... I think that's how you say it. Hmm, 'what prompted me to make a video with Matti'?

Matti: I think I know the answer to that one.

Ash: You do, do you?

Matti: Er... It's probably because there is lit-er-ally nobody else in his friend circle who would agree to this. I must be...

Ash: [Raises brow] A jerk?

Matti: ... pretty darn devoted to-- Really?

Ash: Dude, there's one for you too. 'Who picked the topic for the Vlog'? That's actually a good one. [Eyes Matti] I'm... I'm pretty sure you did.

Matti: Pretty sure my exact words were "let's do an experiment vlog", and your first suggestion was "How long before Sayed notices we put a stock cube in his shower head", and your second was "It's Pride Month, let's get gay."

Ash: [Sighs] And there you have it, viewers. You missed out on a week of my brother smelling like a vat of Bovril.

Matti: [Laughing]

Ash: And in answer to R-MatixMagic on YouTube, no, this isn't some publicity stunt to get more viewers.

Matti: How dare you.

Ash: [Wagging finger at camera] Yes, how very dare you. Some of you think we're actually gonna end up falling for each other. Now, we haven't even discussed our predictions about this experiment with the other, so I have no idea how Matti feels about the end result.

Matti: Pretty sure you can guess.

Ash: Probably could. [Claps] Well, here goes. I'm gonna say that ... [thinking] ... we'd give it a genuine shot, but it'd just feel forced. Like, uncomfortable forced.

Matti: Like when I kissed your cheek.

Ash: [Chuckles] And ... Hm. This is tough. I'm no science guy.

Matti: Just be honest.

Ash: [Looks at Matti] Huh. Okay. Don't get offended though?

Matti: Sure.

Ash: I don't think I'm gonna fall in love with you any time soon, bud. I'll stay open-minded about it though. Just how I feel, like, at this exact moment.

Matti: Yeah, I get you. I think we're likely to give it a good try, but it's gonna be hard to get past that ... that friendship wall. Friendship wall's built pretty damn high, dude.

Ash: Or low? You thought about that?

Matti: Low?

Ash: Yeah, like, we're at that kind of friendship level that half the people we meet think we're dating anyway. There's barely any friendship barriers left to break, you know?

Matti: [Rests his head on his fist] I guess that's a good point.

Ash: So we both agree we'll be genuine?

Matti: Yup. I'm game if you are.

Ash: So you're thinking we've built this friendship wall and I think we've torn one down. I like that. Would be boring if we actually did think of the same outcome.

Matti: We kinda did. I don't think I'm gonna fall in love with you either, man. I mean, it's a big step, even if we're really close.

Ash: That's the whole point of the experiment, though, isn't it?

Matti: [Squinting] Smart doesn't suit you. Stop it.

Ash: [Grins] [Looks back at camera] So that's that. Our rather ... pessimistic predictions, there. Might have something to do with us both being out of cruddy relationships lately, huh? [Shrugging] But we'll see how it goes. I mean, I'm not gonna close off any doors just because I think arranging to be each other's boyfriend ... boyfriend – man, that still sounds weird – won't change us. In fact, I kinda hope I'm wrong.

Matti: Why's that?

Ash: Well, don't you?

Matti: Honestly? No. I like being right.

Ash: I don't even mind if I get this wrong. Because that's also a crucial thing: We're comfortable where we are with each other, and like we said last episode, heterosexual dudes don't get to explore these possibilities because they think they know it all already. Like we do. I kinda want to be proved wrong. It says something deeper, then.

Matti: [Shaking his head] I'd still rather be right. I'll represent the null hypothesis on this one then.

Ash: The heck is that?

Matti: I'm gonna say nothing will change. [Pauses] Aw, c'mon man, you learnt this in school. [Studies Ash's blank expression] Never mind. I won't get too scientific if it loses you braincells.

Ash: [Bats him away] I can handle it. I can handle your ... null hypo-science thing.

Matti: [Whispers] ... Hypothesis.

Ash: Oh! The journals.

Matti: The journals.

Ash: On my vlog I'm gonna be recording stuff about how it's going. This will probably be private ...? I'm not sure. Well, no, I mean, you lot will be able to see it, but I'm hoping Matti won't be that nosy. So, I'll make a side-series about my version of this experiment, and Matti's got some diary thing he'll write in on Wattpad. Have you started it yet?

Matti: Nope.

Ash: Nope, me neither. It's only been a day and I think we've covered everything so far.

Matti: Have you told them the sleeping arrangements?

Ash: [Giggling] Like old people.

Matti: Fully clothed. Separate sides of the bed. No cuddling.

Ash: So dull.

Matti: Dude, I don't wanna wake up with your bits on my arm or something.

Ash: Ever?

Matti: No!

Ash: See, you're already being closed off. Just makes me wanna try even harder.

Matti: To what? Turn me?

Ash: I dunno. To put my dick on your arm.

Matti: [Laughs]

Ash: We've slept in the same bed before anyway. Loooads of times. It's only now it could potentially mean something that you're being all ... 'Wear some clothes' ... 'Tuck your business in your ass because something might touch me'.

Matti: [Still laughing] I'd love to see you try it.

Ash: I wouldn't. No way. Anyway, since this is my first day moving in, Matti's promised to take me out for a meal tonight. Not sure where, but I'm feeling Mexican.

Matti: Mmm, I dunno. Mexican's hot.

Ash: Isn't that the point?

Matti: Well yeah, but what if make a fool of myself? It's a date.

Ash: [Laughing] Is that seriously what you're worried about?

Matti: Yes.

Ash: Indian then?

Matti: Mmm, that's worse.

Ash: Pizza. C'mon. You can't go wrong there.

Matti: Sure.

Ash: [Turns to camera] So, looks like I'm going for some extra-non-spicy pizza with my new boyfwend and then coming home to sharing a bed with absolutely-no-touchy.

Matti: Damn straight.

Ash: Try Before You Bi, Matti. Try. Before. You. Bi.

Matti: [Turns Ash's head away] You're doing the weird again.

Ash: You've promised me pizza, that's why. I guess we better wrap this video up and get going. Just wanna say thanks for watching –

Matti: Yeah, thanks for watching.

Ash: – and don't forget to leave some of your glorious comments. Unless you're a troll. Stick a fork in a mains outlet or something. That would be great. Oh! And if you'd like to see more updates from us, don't forget to subscribe. Or follow, or whatever the deal is on Wattpad these days. You can see more of Matti's handsomely Swedish face and hear more of my dick jokes. It's a pretty good deal.

Matti: I think you've totally sold it.

Ash: Thanks to everyone who has already commented and subscribed. You're awesome. Keep being awesome. Happy days.

Matti: [Raises hand] Happy days.