Ash: [Whispering] Hey, 'Tubers, this is ThatHoneyMoonFiasco, and if you're wondering why the lighting on this video is so bad ... I'm literally in a wardrobe.

[Disembodied laughter]

Ash: We don't have closets in Britain. Okay, so we don't call them closets, but basically we just have these stand up things and everyone calls them wardrobes ... I did always kinda wonder that, you know? Do Brits come out of the closet, or come out of the wardro--

[Bursts into hushed laughter]

Ash: I've never heard something so anti-climatic in my life.

But anyway, here I am. In a wardrobe. Pretty sure there's a coat hanger lodged up my backside. [Pauses] No. What the heck is that? [Shuffling sounds] Oh. It's my mum's heel. Oh, yeah, good point. I'm not in my wardrobe. I'm lurking in my parents' room to ... literally come out.

[Long pause]

Ash: I don't think they're gonna appreciate it, to be honest. They're --

[Sound of bedroom door opening]

Ash: [Drops voice even further] Shit ...
Shit ... They're in here! Listen.

[Crackling as Ash moves camera to wardrobe doors]

[Indiscernible Iranian]

Ash: Hear that? Man ... I'm like, second guessing this now.

[Muttering continues]

Ash ... [Pause] Sod it, I'm gonna do it.

[Clattering as Ash climbs out of wardrobe]

[Bright light as camera adjusts]

Dad: [Hollers]

Mum: Ahh! ASH!

[Ash laughing]

Mum: Ash! You fucking moron!

Ash: Surprise!

Mum: What the hell? What the hell is this? ... Are you recording?!

Dad: You idiot. I bit my tongue.

Ash: [Breaks down in laughter]

Mum: [Sighs in relief] For crying out loud, Ash. [Giggling] If I didn't know better I'd have thrown a book at you.

Ash: [Creasing] A book?!

Mum: What else do you expect me to have to hand? A bloody fire extinguisher?

Ash: Mum! [Still laughing] Mum, you're killing me. [Turns camera to angry-laughing mother] Look at her! That face. Oh my god, this is just priceless. This was so worth it.

Dad: [Nudges wife] He gets this from you, you know. [Points at camera with a grin] You raised this.

Ash: Just keepin' the married life exciting for ya. [Finger gun] Any time.

Mum: [Shaking head] [Muttering] ... I can't believe you got us again.

Ash: That's nothing.

Dad: What's nothing?

Ash: Thought I'd scare the living shit out of you before I tell you the real reason I'm recording.

Mum: [Raises eyebrow] ... And that is?

Dad: Uh oh, I've seen these kinds of --

Ash: I'm gay!

Dad: ... Called it.

Mum: [Smirking] You're not gay, Ash.

Ash: [Turns camera towards self] [Shakes fist] Damn. Almost had it.

[Continues filming parents]

Ash: Alright, not quite gay, but I'm dating Matti.

Dad: Swedish Matti?

Ash: Swedish Matti.

Dad: [Pauses] Is this ... part of the prank still, or ...?

Mum: Wait, are you actually dating Matti? [Turns to husband] I can't tell anymore. He's too good at this.

Ash: [Laughing] Yeah, I actually am dating Matti.

Dad: [Frowns] Well ... alright. Not what I expected, but ... [Shrugs] Well ... he's a nice guy.

Mum: Are you actually dating, or is this some reaction video you two put together? [Looks around] So where is he hiding? [Checks curtain]

Ash: He's not hiding anywhere. He actually doesn't know I'm doing this.

Mum: [Still confused] So you are dating?

Ash: [Laughs] Yes!

Mum: [Pauses] [Cocks head] Oh. I didn't know you were into him.

Ash: Well, I'm not. It's for --

Dad: So you're not into him?

Ash: Not like that.

Mum: ... But you're dating him.

Ash: For a kind of ... YouTube ... social ... acceptance ... experiment thing, yeah.

Dad: ... Right.

Mum: [Laughing] So, let me get this straight --

Ash: I like what you did there, mama bear.

Mum: [Waves him off] ... You're dating Matti for an experiment?

Ash: Yep.

Dad: [Shrugs again] Sounds interesting to me.

Mum: [Begins tidying her shoes back into the wardrobe] I will never understand you two boys.

Ash: [Chuckles] So ... so what do you think?

Mum: You do whatever crazy stuff gotta do, hun.

Ash: Dad?

Dad: ... I hope you at least buy him dinner first.

Ash: DAD! [Belly laughs]

Mum: Or at least bring him over to dinner.

Dad: Yeah, I'll cook him that stew he likes.

Ash: [Turns camera on self] Oh my god. This is like ... unreal. [Turns camera back] I literally jumped out of a wardrobe at you and now you're making plans to cook stew for my boyfriend. You guys are unreal.

Mum: So he's your boyfriend?

Ash: [Sighs] Mum. Yes. Yes he is my boyfriend. [Holds hand up] I know it's weird. I know this is all coming out at about a hundred miles-per-hour. I know I've never expressed any interest in boys, like, ever. But, yes, we sold our souls to the Devil and now we're morally obliged to share showers.

Dad: [Laughs] One thing at a time, pal. We're old, remember?

Mum: [Still shaking head] Ash, could you at least help me fold these?

Dad: [Bends down] Got one of your heels over here, Marj.

Ash: [Turns camera on self] [Runs out of room, and down the stairs]

Mum: [In distance] Is he just leaving me to ... Ash! ... Ash!

Dad: [In distance] ... I have no idea what just happened, you know, but for some reason my tongue hurts.

Ash: And that's that, apparently. Just gotta let that soak in. I just launched myself and half of my mum's wardrobe across the room, announced I'm gay, retracted it and told them I'm sharing showers with my best friend now, and they're more concerned about having to redo the ironing.

[Grinning] I love my folks. I mean, I've literally never been to Iran. They left when they were like ... like ... 19, or something, so I don't know what kind of opinion they had over there on LGBT people or anything.

[Hops down from last step] Whatever it is, though, or whatever opinion they have from it over here, they don't ... they don't really seem to be negative towards it. Maybe once they can process all that, I'll get to the really juicy stuff.

Oh my god ... and the fact my dad wants to invite Matti over to cook for him? That's like, awkward and sweet.

Rock on, parentals. [Gives the horns]

Anyway, I really am not that much of an ass that I'd really walk off and leave my mum to tidy her room after I wrecked it, so I'm gonna cut this ... around here.

So thanks for watching, viewerdom! Comments, likes, subs, you know the drill. Actually, if you have any questions you'd like to leave for my parents, that could be kinda interesting ... I mean, go for it.

Hopefully once I get back and show this to Matti, he'll strap on some iron balls and out himself to his parents too. But don't expect any dashing out household furniture or anything, because knowing him he'll ...

I dunno, prepare a fucking script.

Anyways, happy days. This is ThatHoneyMoonFiasco, officially out.