When she woke up she was surprised that they were parking into her driveway. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she looked over and saw Jaxs stare straight ahead. His jaw was slightly clenched.

Lanoir was bright enough to know that something was up and it wasn't going to be pleasant. Stepping out of the car they made their way up the steps.

Jaxs stepped forward and opened the door with her keys. She had forgotten that she had even had them with her. Walking in she was pleased to see that her house was in perfect condition. She had thought that they would have destroyed all her belongings. Lucky they didn't she had worked hard for her stuff.

He stood beside the granite top, his hands pushed into the pockets of his jeans, his body seemingly relaxed. But she could see the tension in his arms, see that one vein throb in his neck, see the tightness in his shoulders. He was anything but relaxed.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she unzipped the bag, to occupy her hands, keeping her voice casual.

"Why are we here?"

she asked, but deep down she already knew the answer.

"Your house is safe now," his voice came from where he stood, clear of any tone, plain, simple. But she knew him. She knew what he was masking. She was masking the same thing. To make it easier for him.

"Great," she forced a smile on her face. "So, do you leave after breakfast? We can order something."

She felt his surprise as he looked up at her, surprise that she'd bring the topic up so casually. Lanoir shrugged at him, keeping up with the casual charade. "It doesn't take a genius to figure it out, you know, which might I remind you I am. And because I am that genius, I know you won't rest till this is behind us."

He didn't say a word. Just looked at her, with his heart in his eyes and Lanoir felt a heartbroken smile form on her lips. He was standing exactly where he'd been standing that first time, and they'd come so, so far since then. Closing the distance between them, even as her eyes moistened, she came to a stop right in front of him, tilting her head back to keep their eyes locked.

She placed a hand on his jaw, feeling that scruff against her palm, scruff that had left his mark all over her body, marks that throbbed even now, her heart aching.

"What do you plan to do?" she asked quietly, searching his eyes. He stayed silent, not speaking a word, nothing, just gazing back at her. She would have put up a fight but she knew he wouldn't budge on this. Not when it was their lives, their futures on the line. And she would have put up a fight if she would have been any kind of asset to him at all. She wasn't. In that world, she was a weakness he could not afford to have.

"I wish I could do something to help you," she spoke her mind, rubbing his jaw, a smile trembling on her lips. "But I know I'll only make you more vulnerable. You know that world, you understand that world, better than I ever could. And I understand you. So, it's okay."

His mask cracked a little, the glimpse of his own guilt at leaving her behind, the glimpse of that insane protectiveness in him, more than enough to prompt her on, to make her break the tension.

"Okay," he rasped in his husky voice, his eyes turbulent, locked on hers, making her realize how hard this was for him. She bit her lip, seeing the grey in his eyes so tense it physically ached her.

"Just promise me one thing."

"Anything," he whispered, the one word holding everything he couldn't say, the word brittle with need.

"Come back to me," the words left her just as her voice shook, her hands holding his face as her lips trembled. "Just come back to me."

Before she could blink, her back was pressed to the door, his forehead pressed against hers, their noses touching as they breathed each other in, his hands tight on her hips, caging her completely.

"I wish I could be selfless enough to tell you not to wait for me," he growled in the air between them, all masks, all facades, everything crumbling, leaving nothing in its wake but brutal, raw need. "But God help me, I am not."

His gaze pierced into hers, making her heart race, the ferocity in them nothing like she'd ever seen before, holding her captive against him.

"I am yours, Lanoir. All the way down to my bones, my scars, good, ugly, everything, is all yours. SoI will come back to you. I just cannot promise how far gone I will be."

Lanoir shook with every word he rasped against her skin, his declaration shaking her to her core. "Just come back."

it was the closest she could get to I love you

"You'll be with me the entire time," he murmured, his eyes softening. "I'll hear your voice guiding me back to you." He said his eyes never leaving hers.

Closing her eyes she tried to push down her anguish, but she was finding it hard. Her heart was breaking slowly. She didn't know how long he would be away from her. But she would wait for him.

Opening her eyes she noddded. Closing the gap between them she kissed him. Putting all her love and need into the kiss. His arms wrapped around her waist as he deepened the kiss and poured his love into it. Giving her his all. His love and devotion. This kiss was a promise that he would return to her.

Pulling away he leaned his head on her and took her in. He didn't want to let go out he knew that he needed to. He needed to be strong.

Walking away he didn't turn around in fear that he wouldn't be able to leave. Opening the door he stood in front of the exit.

"... I love you, Lanoir." He said than walked out not waiting for a reply.

She stood in the kitchen until she heard the car start and didn't make a effort to move once she heard it pull away. She didn't know how long she stood there gripping her chest. As tears slowly cascaded down her cheeks. And when she couldn't hold it anymore she broke.

Her knees buckled as she caved in on herself. Sob after son broke from her chest as she leaned against the floor on her knees her head touching the floor.

Closing her eyes she lifted her head and screamed out all her pain. Her fingers lacing into her hair as her chest heaved up in down.

The cries of a broken woman were all that could be heard.