Chapter 10

A week went by. Mandy did not say anything. I did not either. She visited Riley, I did not. The doctor described him as a miracle. His brain which they had thought would be severely damaged, was miraculously fine, well...except for his memory loss. The doctor predicted it would come back to him in less than six months. That was no consolation at all. A part of me had already accepted that I had lost him. It was painful, but it was something I would have to live with, along with those feelings that did not want to disappear.

Mandy had gone on her date with Matt. According to her, it had gone "just fine". I was sure however that Matt had made a big deal out of it, which he rarely did. If you asked me, Matt was falling for Mandy. Well, I had proof. Remember when I said Matt paid attention to me? Apparently, he valued my advice, or he tried to pretend he did not. We talked and from our conversations, I could tell he was smitten. Too bad she had her eyes on someone else.

"A penny for your thoughts?" someone said behind me, disrupting my thoughts.

I was at the ice rink with Calvin. After he had apologized, a couple of times, we had decided to go there. It was a Saturday and we had nothing to do.

I turned and saw the source of the voice, wearing a smug smile. I rolled my eyes and realizing what I had done, chuckled.

"You look good when you do that, unlike when you do all those other things you do when you see me", Matt said.

"Ha-ha. What are you doing here?" I said skating away from him.

He followed suit.

"I am doing what you are doing", he replied. "Have you seen Mandy?" he asked. "I've been trying to call her all day".

"All day, huh Matt? It's only 2h32. She said something about going to the hospital", I said.

"She goes to the hospital a lot, don't you think?" Matt's question caught me off guard.

"She's trying to help Riley regain his memory", I said.

"Is that not your job? I mean, you know him better than she does", he asked.

"Who says I don't visit him?" I counter-attacked.

He eyed me. "You do?"

I tried spinning to avoid his gaze which I found uncomfortable. It was a mistake. My shoes got caught up against each other and I almost fell, had it not been for the hand Matt produced to steady me. We stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Mine were challenging, but his said something else.

"You have the most beautiful blue eyes. Huge, but beautiful", he broke the silence.

I removed his hand. "Really Matt?!"

"What?" he asked, looking all stupefied.

"You'll never change!" I spat.

"I paid you a compliment, nothing wrong with that. It does show you are not used to getting them", he said.

Did I overreact? It looked to me as if he was trying to flirt with me.

"Well well, what do we have here?" I heard a voice behind me.

Matt seemed to already know who it was because his expression changed. I turned and looked into Abby's eyes.

"Mandy not enough, Matt?" she asked.

"What are you talking about?" Matt asked.

"I don't want to be a part of this. I'm leaving", I said and left Matt and Abby staring at each other.

I skated to one of the corners of the rink. Calvin was standing there with a girl who had caught his attention.

"I'm leaving", I announced as I got there.

"Whoa, now? Can't you wait a little bit?"

"No. I'll walk", I said and left.

I would lie if I said it was a short distance. I walked for a long time. I was not really a fit person so when I got home, it was out of breath and tired. Dad had gone to visit his friend earlier, and he still was not back. As soon as I saw my bed, I slumped on it.

I was in the process of falling asleep when I heard a knock on the door. I cursed loudly; did Calvin have to knock when he had his own keys? I went down the stairs lazily. If he was too lazy to use his own keys, he would have to be patient. I was surprised he had not banged on the door like he did all the time.

I opened the door. I did not see Calvin's face, instead I saw Mandy's. She smiled as she saw me.

"Hey. I had nothing to do so I thought I could chill with you", she said.

"Hey. You are in luck; I just got back from the ice rink. Come in", I said.

When we were seated in the living room, she asked,

"How was the ice rink?"

"It was fine. I saw Matt", I said casually.

Mandy's expression changed a bit. I could not decipher what it meant.

"Guess what?" she said excitedly.

"I really cannot guess", I said without trying.

"Riley is going to be discharged from the hospital on Monday. He is going to get by using crutches though. He and I well...we have gotten close and... I like him, a lot. He likes...me too. So we have decided to give us a try", she said.

Give what where how? This was not happening. I chocked on my saliva. A coughing fit followed.

That slimy bitch! She had played her cards right and swooped in just when Riley was defenseless. He didn't know anyone. He probably didn't even know himself! How was he supposed to get his memory back with her clinging on him like you do the last band shirt you have just wrestled from a bunch of crazy t-shirt hungry girls? She was probably going to tattoo her name on him, that evil bitch.

"Are you okay?" Mandy asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah. What about Matt?" I asked.

"What about Matt? It's not like I am dating him. Matt is sort of, an idiot. I will tell him about Riley and me, gently of course", she said.

I took a deep breath. "Do you not think you are overwhelming Riley? He needs to get his memory back", I said.

"No, I am helping him, unlike you. You never visited him the past week", Mandy said.

She silenced me. I could not say the reason I stopped visiting him was because of her, because I loved him so much I could not stand him saying Mandy had to be his girlfriend. I was afraid he would reject me! I could not deal with that.

I mentally laughed. I had no reason whatsoever to be angry at Mandy. She'd done nothing wrong. Riley was old enough to make his own decisions. Mandy was really sweet and a nice friend.

I felt like apologizing, but I couldn't apologize for things I hadn't even uttered.

Something else came to mind, something that had to do with an English former billionaire. "Mandy, why do you lie about yourself?" I asked.

She was startled," What do you mean?"

"I know your dad is a former billionaire, and that he is very much alive. I know about the custody battles", I said.

She placed her face in her hands and sighed audibly.

"Oh my God, you know about the book?" her voice was barely audible.

What book? What was she on about?

"Yeah, I do", I lied.

"Mom said we would be safe here, as long as people did not find out. A book was all it took to bring daddy down. They thought he was insane. He was so obsessed with it his company crumbled around him. It is the only book he has ever written. He paid a lot of money to get it published. He...he believed in everything he wrote. It all seemed absurd, but he believed in it all. After the book was published, mom decided to destroy all the copies, all but two. I stole one, my dad has the other. She was trying to protect him. He went crazy, saying the world needed to know. He didn't care about anything anymore, just the book and this place that he said existed, but was unseen by the human eye. Mom loved him so much, but decided she could not take it anymore. She won the custody battle and we moved from London to Silica Town. When my dad contacted her about another custody battle, she decided to move us here".

I listened intently. I saw tears roll down Mandy's eyes. There seemed to be a lot to the story than I knew. I had thought I knew it all. I only knew half of it.

Despite how jealous I felt, I felt sorry for her.

"Your father, are you in contact with him?" I asked.

"No. I wish I was. Mom does not want to hear anything about him. She pretends he does not exist".

"Do you want to stay with him?" I asked.

"I love him, but no. I want to be able to visit him. I wish they would just agree on joint custody", she replied. He face suddenly became serious. "How did you find out?" she asked.

"My dad is your dad's lawyer. I came across the information when I was packing up his desk", I said.

"So your dad is in contact with my dad?" she asked.

I nodded.

"Do you think he would help me talk to dad?" she asked, looking all hopeful.

"Of course", I said smiling.

"Thanks", she said, returning the smile.

It was so hard to be mad at her when she was smiling at me like that. And I had no right to be mad at her anyway. Riley wasn't mine. He was a free agent. He could date whoever he wanted, even if that person wasn't me.

*

Later that night, I lay in bed in the dark and looked at the ceiling. I saw none of it as my heart was in chaos. My heart was weeping and I could not stop it. I could only watch in agony as my heart was ripped apart. I was helpless. It was over, it was all over. Riley was gone and I could not do anything about it. Was I not given a chance and I blew it? Riley was Mandy's now, all hers.

I felt tears prick my eyes, wanting to be set free. I resisted. I tried by all means, but I gave up. My resistance came tumbling down and tears stained my cheeks. I made no effort to wipe them. It would have been useless because just when I thought I was finished, more came rushing down. I finally closed my eyes and willed myself to go to sleep. Just as I was falling asleep, my phone started vibrating. The ringing tone cut through the silence.

"Hello", my voice was croaky.

"Hi, I'm sorry. I did not think you would be asleep", a voice said at the other end.

My heart skipped a beat and I stopped breathing. That voice was familiar.

"Riley?" I asked, sitting up.

"Yes. I will never get used to that name; it just doesn't sound mine", he replied.

My throat went mysteriously dry. I coughed.

"Um, what can I do for you?" I asked.

"My mom brought me my phone; the doctor occasionally lets me use it. I saw some text messages".

I had nothing to say to that so I merely swallowed and waited for him to continue. There was some silence. It was agonizing.

"You and I seemed really close. I was wondering why you don't visit anymore, Casey", he broke the silence.

My heart did a thousand somersaults. He had said Casey. He had called me Casey! How I had longed to hear him say that name. A month and a half and no one had called me that. My lips visited my cheeks and I did not hold back. In the darkness of my room, I smiled like a fool.

"Err...I've been busy", I said.

"I'm getting discharged on Monday, did Mandy tell you?" he asked.

"Yes, she did", I said.

"I was wondering if we could meet and catch up...err...you could tell me about us, what we did, talked about and so on", he said.

Meet Riley? I was confused. My heart was fighting with my mind. Would I be able to do it? Would I be able to tell him about us and withhold my feelings? He was not the same Riley I knew. He was somebody else. My friend had faded into the darkness. We would talk like strangers; he would not find the same things he did before funny. Was I ready to start all over again?

"Um, yeah, we could", he said.

"I was thinking Monday after school. You could come by my place; I'm not allowed to go anywhere. That's not weird, right...you coming here?" he asked.

I chuckled unwillingly. "No, it's not. I used to come by your place a lot of times", I said.

"Okay. Thanks. Bye then", he said.

"Bye", I said, and the line went dead.

I sighed. Tiny butterflies fluttered in my tummy. I clenched my phone tight against my chest and made a decision. I was going to make Riley remember, come rain or sunshine. He would remember the good times we had. The jokes, the laughter and all those things that had made our friendship beautiful, he was going to remember them all. He had to. I needed my best friend back.

Inside my tummy, a tiny butterfly flexed its wings, flying happily...before it was trapped inside a glass jar. Reality hit me like Riley had mistakenly done with a tennis ball in physical education in freshman year. It had been funny and painful. What I felt sitting on my bed that night was not funny at all, it was just painful. Even if Riley got his memory back, he would still be dating Mandy. I would still be that friend that he came to with problems. I would be forced to listen to stories about the good times they shared. Lord no! I could not go through that!