**Ian--Note: this is a fictional story. The thoughts and opinions of these characters are in no way linked to anyone or anything associated with the real Wattpad.**

The clock read five to ten. The only audible sounds within Team Goonies' corner at Wattpad Headquarters was the tapping of keyboards and the slight buzzing of discussion from employees in different parts of the building. Mouth turned to Sloth and broke the silence. "Dude, when Aleem gets here--keep your fingers out of your lint hole."

Ian chuckled, scurrying to type the last few lines of the project he currently worked on. When the save button was pressed, he picked up his stapler. "Hey!" Sloth looked up from his computer. Ian tossed the stapler so the belly button poker could catch it. "Hold that during the meeting. It'll give your fingers something to do besides assaulting your navel."

Mouth snatched the stapler on his desk. "You have two hands, man." He lobbed his stapler across the desks.

Sloth fumbled when catching the second stapler, but managed to trap the object between his forearm and body. Holding his arms above his head with a stapler in each hand, Office Depot's crab-mascot-wannabe appeared to be on the verge of launching a string of sarcastic and naughty words. Unfortunately, Aleem walked into their work area before he could get a word out. Holding his tongue, Sloth gave each stapler a single click.

"Good morning, gentlemen," Aleem greeted, head shaved on the sides with long hair on top.

"Morning," all three men mumbled somewhat simultaneously.

"I know you're busy, so I'm not gonna make this long and drawn out. I just wanted your opinions on how we might be able to help Wattpad succeed in its mission to enhance the world with words." Aleem's eyes stopped on Sloth's hands. "Why are you holding staplers?"

Sloth squeezed the metal contraptions gently without dispensing any crimped metal pieces. "Uhh--." He looked towards Mouth in hopes his wingman might help explain the unusual sight. To Sloth's disappointment, Mouth was too busy hiding his laughter behind his monitor. He turned his attention back to Aleem. "Carpal tunnel?"

"You have carpal tunnel?" Aleem asked.

Sucking his lips into his mouth, Sloth replied, "Mmm, hmm."

"And squeezing staplers helps with that?"

With a slow and hesitant nod, he repeated, "Mmm, hmm."

The object of Sloth's affections contemplated him for a moment. "I'll have to give that a try." Clapping cupped hands, Aleem jumped back to the topic of the meeting. "Let me start by asking--DO you believe words and ideas can change the world?

The three men focused their attention on desktops and the floor. Ian prayed Sloth and Mouth would jump in and carry most of the conversation. Despite being passionate about finding ways to help Wattpad make a positive impact on the world, Ian felt uncomfortable sharing his ideas in front of others. Fear of rejection made him a great follower, but a lousy leader.

When he glanced up, Ian discovered Aleem's focus on him. Straightening up in his chair, he cleared his throat. "Absolutely. I think words that spark some sort of action in people can definitely change the world."

"The pen is mightier than the sword," Mouth added.

Aleem paused, as managers always do, to allow time for any additional comments. When no one spoke, the conversation continued. "Data--you mentioned words sparking action in people. What kind of action were you thinking?

A message popped up on Ian's cell.

[[Mouth to Data] Pornographic words spark masturbating]

[[Mouth to Data] say that]

[[Mouth to Data] I dare you]

Ian cleared his throat a second time. "I think words--like the ones in Wattpad stories--I think words give readers an opportunity to escape from their troubles and stresses for a while. Books allow people to escape things like loneliness and disappointments. I also think words can bring like-minded people together--bond them and--." Ian paused for a moment. An image of Amanda flashed in his mind, derailing his train of thought.

Aleem, Sloth and Mouth waited patiently for Ian to continue. The only sound was a slight creaking noise from the staplers.

"Just--," Ian began, "random words. Insignificant words. Like Yoda or computer box or--jinx. They can connect you somehow."

Aleem squinted. "I want to make sure I fully understand what you're saying. I understood the part about escapism. Explain to me again what you mean about like-minded people finding each other with words."

"It's not necessarily about being like-minded," Ian explained. "You can be totally different compared to someone else, but a few random words can somehow connect you anyway. It's strange. A couple words can open up worlds you never would've considered exploring seconds earlier."

Aleem nodded, seemingly pleased with Ian's answer. "Words do connect us in mysterious ways. Inspire us to learn new things or find ourselves in people and places we never would've expected." Aleem turned to Mouth and Sloth. "Was there anything you wanted to add?"

Grabbing Mouth's attention with a wave while Aleem's back was turned, Ian discretely held up his cell phone. He pointed at the text messages Mouth sent, indicating he should share his idea that words can cause Rosey Palm and her five sisters to get in a sexy mood.

Fighting against a grin, Mouth leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. "From an entrepreneur perspective, the Wattpad platform helps writers find readers for their work so they can build a following--maybe make a few bucks."

"And how would you say that helps change the world?"

"It changes the writer's world," Mouth replied. "It's not a 'feed the children of the Earth' change by any means, but it's making a difference to that family."

Aleem appeared to ponder Mouth's idea. "Helping people find their dreams--whether it be the opportunity to write or learning something new through written words. I agree. That would enhance our world."

Stroking the piercings in an ear, Aleem paced the area between the Goonies' desks. "Actually, smaller examples of change is a good segue for my next question. Thank you, Mouth. Should it be Wattpad's goal to separate readers into smaller, more tailored groups so they can find--as Data put it--like-minded individuals? Or is segregating people into groups a bad idea? There's no right or wrong answers. I'm playing devil's advocate here."

Sloth stared at his stapler-filled hands resting in his lap. Aleem watched Sloth for a beat until Mouth chimed in with a response.

"Some aspects about grouping similar people together are a good thing."

"Explain."

"It would be great if the whole world could just hang out and stuff, but--." Mouth paused for a second, then added, "Real talk. I'm a middle-aged man. It would be weird for me to hang out on teenagers' profile pages swooning over boybands. Let's be honest. I can't even tell the difference between guys in a boyband and teenage girls. They look the same to me."

Sloth snickered and whispered, "That's why I Barenaked Ladies, bro."

"My point is," Mouth continued, "pubescent teens make me want to turn and run in one direction--the opposite direction. But when I open Wattpad--more so if I'm a brand-new user--I'm literally strangled by teenage fanfiction and jailbait protagonists that can't even rub two fully developed hormones together."

Ian sent a message to Mouth.

[[Data to Mouth] Where are you going with this?]

"So what you're saying is--."

Mouth cuts Aleem off. "What I'm saying is, humans are tribal. It's hardwired in our nature. We use it as a means of survival. That being said, when I log into Wattpad's home page, my first impression is--'Hey! Welcome to the Nymphet Tribe. Go have a seat on Harry Styles' dick while we get your jail cell ready.' My hardwiring tells me I don't belong, so I leave. Can't change the world with words if people don't stick around long enough to read them."

[[Data to Mouth] I can't believe you said that!]

[[Data to Mouth] Doesn't Aleem scare you?!]

[[Data to Mouth] Where is this coming from?]

"And you think separating users into different interest groups would help alleviate this problem?"

"Yes. If I log into Wattpad and discover a neutral experience--one where I'm given options to choose the tribe I'm hardwired for--then I feel a greater sense of belonging. People need to feel like they belong before they'll switch from drive-by readers and writers to committed members."

[[Mouth to Data] He made me feel comfortable]

Aleem nodded. "Would you consider the Ambassador run pages for different interest groups similar to what you're saying?"

Raising an eyebrow, Mouth laughed. "If you can find them. They're hidden under a pile of bad boys and smut."

A smirk graced the corner of Aleem's lips. "But is encouraging behaviors of separation uniting us--as people of the world? Can we learn from and build tolerance for each other if we're segregated all the time?"

"Are you telling me I should befriend a bunch of 13-year-old girls?" Mouth asked.

A twinkle in Aleem's eye seemed to indicate an amused reaction towards Mouth's comment. "I understood what you meant about a human need to feel like part of a tribe. I'm not saying we shouldn't offer places for like-minded people to gather. Our survival as a company depends on creating an environment where users feel like they belong. Your statement about turning casual members into committed members--that's an area we're highly invested in." Aleem glanced at the staplers in Sloth's hand for a moment, then continued. "But our mission is to create a positive change in the world--with words. Can we do that if we're filtering out people's understanding of the entire human experience and spectrum?"

"Sometimes people need to be exposed to certain levels of discomfort so they can grow and evolve," Ian said. Again, an image of Amanda flashed through his thoughts. "Comfort zones are not ideal for developing those kinds of changes."

"Ultimately," Mouth began, "segregation isn't ideal. There needs to be some sort of balance between honoring a person's hardwiring and building a sense of wholeness in the community."

Aleem stared directly at Sloth. "You're quiet."

Without taking his eyes off the staplers, Sloth replied, "They said what I was going to say."

Palms firmly placed on Sloth's desk, Aleem glared at Captain Staple Hands. "Since when are you silent? Is this because of Soccer Mom?

Sloth's head snapped up to meet Aleem's stare.

"Do I need to bring Tim Hortons in here so you can help us get Wattpad on the front page of tomorrow's newspaper?" As a side note, Aleem added, "For positive reasons."

It seemed to take a moment or two for Sloth's brain to register that Aleem was repeating back phrases similar to ones he used earlier in the day. Eyes widening and mouth dropping open, Sloth struggled for words.

Mouth offered his coworker an idea for a conversation starter. "Why don't you tell Aleem about your inflatable humanitarian doll."

"Ahh--," Sloth vocalized between an awkward chuckle.

"Here's the deal," Aleem said. "A handful of us hear some of the conversations that happen over here. We'd report you for creating a toxic work environment--but we're too fucking entertained by your shitshows."

Sloth repeatedly pressed one of the staplers in and out of his belly button hole.

Lifting an eyebrow, Aleem added, "Your shirt says English, profanity and sarcasm. I'm starting to think it's false advertising." Placing a finger over the lips, Aleem made a shhh sound. "I won't tell if you don't."

[[Data to Mouth] Does Aleem know what's about to be unleashed?]

[[Mouth to Data] Look at Sloth's face!]

[[Mouth to Data] That's his "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED" face!]

(to be continued...)

I apologize. This chapter is a bit like sitting in a boring work meeting. Thank you for getting this far. However, this is an important chapter for developing why Ian makes a future decision.

If you need a dose of Amanda's point of view to get you through Team Goonies' extended chapter, check out the love letter she posted on her profile page about a crush she has on a 'Wattpad Engineer.'

YoDaBestR2D2