Chapter 21 – Tacky Tourists and Tasteless Takeout

                The night on the bed was the best that I’d slept in about three days. I didn’t waste any time in boasting to the bunch sleeping on the floor, either. I chanted all the way around the kitchen and when we were eating breakfast, just to piss them off.

My dare the night before had been completely and utterly evil; therefore, I’d kind of saw it as revenge. I had to go down to the kitchen, in nothing but my underwear and go through the fridges Obviously, it being quite a decent hotel, the security man found me and I had to explain that I’d deliberately been taking roofies and had no idea where I was. If Hunter, who followed me down to make sure I did it, didn’t step in, I think I’d of been rotting in a jail cell.

                Lee shot me a look when I stretched, putting my cereal bowl down on the counter. Everyone but Dylan and Seb were ready, both of which hadn’t even showered yet.

                “So, the Colosseum today, huh?” Alfie asked. I nodded, grabbing my bag to make sure that I had everything with me. Kenzi had already disappeared, apparently going to get us some food for the day.

                “Can’t we go somewhere interesting? Like where the gladiators were?” Lee asked. Hunter scoffed, looking at his feet, which were resting on the coffee table.

                “That’s where the gladiators were, dipshit.” Lee rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

                “I mean those things with the horses,” he added, giving Hunter a sour look, which was returned with a shrug.

                “That’s where the chariots were,” I droned. Lee huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

                “You guys aren’t getting it!” Alfie chuckled, raising both of his eyebrows at his brother.

                “It’s not that we don’t get it, you’re being an idiot.”

                “You’re an idiot,” Lee retorted, clearly sour. Alfie left it alone with a breathy laugh, pushing himself to his feet.

                When he went to go and sort his wallet out, Lee decided to go with him, saying that he might be able to get some free cash. We all knew he wouldn’t, but he went along all the same. They said that they would try and find Kenzi on their travels, if the ATM machine was anywhere near the supermarket.

                I turned back to the kitchen, dumping my bowl in the soapy water. Hunter got up, his footsteps echoing until he was standing behind me. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me back against him.

                “Want to foil the colosseum?” he asked, pressing a soft kiss against my neck. My skin and blood were set alight within seconds and I leaned back against him, enjoying the feeling of every inch of his body against me.

                “No, there are probably security cameras everywhere,” I muttered, closing my eyes. Hunter chuckled, his hot breath searing my skin.

                “Andy, it’s like, a 1000 years old,” he chided, pressing yet another kiss along my neck, only higher, towards my jaw line.

                “It’s been modernized,” I countered. Hunter didn’t bother answering me, he just turned me around and pressed my back up against the counter. His lips searched mine, causing my hands to go up and run through his hair, pulling him closer. His hands were by my hips, slowly moving down to hoist me up onto the counter.

                He groaned, hooking his fingers in my belt loops and pulling me closer. I obliged without a problem, moving my hands under his shirt and onto his hot chest.

                “Don’t be a plonker, cover up then bonk her!” Seb hollered from the doorway. I yanked myself away, shooting him an evil look. Hunter just sighed, resting his hands on either sides of my legs and giving him an exasperated look.

                “Seb, seriously?” Hunter asked, pushing himself away from me after kissing my forehead.

                “Stop stealing my lines!” I exclaimed, jumping down and stomping towards the bathroom.

                “Oi, twinkle toes, don’t wake the people downstairs,” Hunter hollered. I flipped him off without even looking at him, closing the bathroom door behind me. My boyfriend had a habit of messing up my makeup, clothes and hair during a make out session and without a trip to the bathroom, I’d be walking around Italy looking like I’d just done a bit of the dirty.

                “Andy!” I’d only been in there about five minutes before Hunter called me, sounding rather disturbed. I threw open the door, grunting.

                There stood Hunter, holding the little baby doll from hell. The night before, it wouldn’t shut up. Apparently, three in the morning the bloody thing started crying, but because I was in the bed and just about as far away from the sofa as you could get, I didn’t hear it. Hunter had been up half the night sorting it out.

                “Your turn,” he said, starting towards me, arms outstretched. I shook my head frantically, backing up and putting my arms out, preventing him from getting too close.

                “Ah, ah, ah! I don’t think so. I fed it this morning,” I defended. Dylan shot up from the sofa at that moment, staring at my boobs in disbelief. “With the keys on the back,” I added, narrowing my eyes in his direction. He grinned, nodding as he got to his feet.

                “I know, I can’t imagine that it knows how to… suckle,” he taunted. I picked up the nearest pillow and lobbed it at him. He ducked and it missed, leaving him smug as he retreated to the bathroom.

                Hunter took two strides forwards, trying to angle Bert into my arms. Kenzi had said the name was ‘Bertie’, but giving the stupid thing two syllables was proving too far out of my compliment zone, so it was stuck with Bert.

                I clicked the button on the back and chucked him on the bed, turning back to Hunter, who was watching me with an amused expression.

                “You have such an overwhelming maternal instinct, I can’t wait for you to have my children,” he drawled. I smirked shaking my head.

                “You’re going to need a few more compliments if you want me to harbor your little fugitive in my uterus,” I responded, pursing my lips. Hunter chuckled, moving out of the way just in time as Kenzi barreled through the door with a pram.

                “What the fuck is that?” Hunter asked flatly.

                “It’s a bloody giraffe, what do you think it is?” Kenzi asked, shoving the pram in my direction. It looked pretty knackered and was filled with plastic boxes that we always get the Chinese in at home.

                “I’m not walking around with that all day,” I said. Kenzi gave me a bored look, taking the boxes out.

                “Well, you can’t leave Bertie here.” I shrugged, looking over at the baby doll, which was lying on its face.

                “Sure I can, if he needs anything, he can satisfy himself.” Kenzi shook her head, strolling over to pick Bert up. She put him in the pram and covered him with the blanket, shoving it in my direction again. Instead of letting it push me in the shins, I grabbed the handle, giving her an evil look.

                “See? Easy! Now I’m going to pack some food.”

                It was as if every member of the male population responded to the word ‘food’. All the boys herded towards the kitchen to see what she had bought.

                After packing up the food and shoving it in the pram with the devil’s spawn, we set off towards Rome’s biggest tourist attraction.

                It wasn’t too far from the hotel but we couldn’t fit the pram inside the car, so we had to walk. Well, I insisted everyone walked with me, considering that they were actually planning to drive there and let me walk.

                On the way, there were a few stalls that were selling Rome hats, shirts, scarves, baby grows and signs. Kenzi bought a shirt, Lee bought a cap and Alfie thought it would be hilarious to buy the baby grow for Bert. To be honest, it was probably a good thing, Bert had been playing nudist since we got him.

                So, when we actually got to the area that the colosseum was based in, we looked like a bunch of idiots. Well, Lee and Kenzi did, they looked like overexcited tourists. Not to mention Bert, who was rocking the baby grow.

                “Aw, I think it matches his eyes,” Dylan cooed, peering into the old pram. It wasn’t even decent, it was one of those old things and I couldn’t pull the cover down far enough for the thing to stop looking at me.

                “Eye,” I corrected, gesturing towards the only eye that was still in place. Dylan sniggered, matching his patch beside me.

                The colosseum was breathtaking. Normally, I wasn’t one for old buildings, but it was pretty much the most amazing thing that I’d seen. I’d thought the leaning tower of Pisa was cool, but Rome really stole the cake and blew out the candles.

                Although it was old and rotting, it was still in pretty decent condition and turns out, you could go inside and have a look around. I let go of the pram to have a look at the entry price and tour times, letting everyone else know that it was 15.50 Euros each to get in.

                We paid without a problem and strolled through, looking at the masterpiece around us. There was a tour guide standing by the edge, telling anybody that came near her about the history. For the first few minutes, we did our best to avoid her.

                You couldn’t go across the beam in the middle, only the circle around the edge, all lined with bars. The stone, although crumbling, was pretty mind condition, shining in the sun and glinting in the dim lighting.

                Stones crunched under our feet and when the rest of our friends had gone to check out another part of the building. Hunter grabbed me and pressed his lips to mine, holding his phone up. He snapped a picture and I grinned, pulling away to wrap my arms around his middle. Smirking, he did the same, putting my phone back in my pocket.

                We decided to spend about an hour in there. Due to the high entrance fee, we listened to the tour guide as well. She told us about how it was used and how many deaths there were in there. Turns out, quite a lot. So, a few hundred ghosts were probably watching us kiss. Good job we didn’t ‘foil’ it or it would’ve been porno for ghosts. I shuddered at the thought.

                The tour guide was interrupted by a loud clearing of the throat behind us. I turned, only to see an old man standing there, looking a bit peeved.

                “Is there anyone here that owns a baby and is missing him?” he asked. My stomach dropped and I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, well, my friend’s, anyway. I decided against claiming him, what kind of person would I look like then?

                “He is wearing an ‘I heart Rome’ baby grow, does anybody recognize it?” he continued. I winced, stepping forward. Alfie, Kenzi and Lee were sniggering behind me when I walked over, collecting the pram.

                “Ma’am, you have to pay entrance for him,” the man said in his annoying monotonous voice.

                “It’s not even a real baby, it’s a doll. Why should I pay entrance?” I quizzed. The man’s eyebrows lowered in irritation as he pointed towards the pram.

                “You cannot leave a child outside to avoid paying a fee,” he answered. I frowned, huffing.

                “It’s a doll, not a child! Do I have to spell it out for you, I mean what kind of idiot thinks that this ugly piece of work is a baby?!” I exclaimed, picking Bert up by his foot and dangling him in the air. I was greeted with several gasps and an eruption of laughter from the so-called friends on the corner.

                The man was about to say something but I cut him off, scowling.

                “I’m going.” With one last stomp of defiance, I strolled out with Bert, holding my head high. Not as if it made any difference, my dignity was in shatters.

                “What happened to respect your elders?” Lee taunted from beside me. I looked behind to see the rest of them tromping out, as well, all looking reasonably amused. Flicking my arm out, I jabbed Lee in the stomach, making him wince.

                “Shut up. Where are we stopping for food?” I asked. Kenzi shrugged. “Right here?”  I offered. They all shrugged again so I grunted, dropping onto the field. Everyone else followed suit. Hunter sat down next to me, pulling me against him.

                Kenzi unpacked the takeaway, nudging Bert, who started to squall. Luckily, Hunter handled it before I blew my top. He pressed the button and plopped him on the floor next to Alfie.

                The takeaway was actually disgusting. Kenzi had apparently bought a few pot noodles and asked the chef if she could microwave them. After a bit of flirting – convincing, in her words – she made them and put them in the pots. That was why they were so tasteless. And cold.

                “Ew,” Lee muttered, putting them down. Kenzi sighed.

                “Okay, this wasn’t my best work, I’ll admit,” she started, looking around at all of our un-amused faces. “Pizza on me?” she offered. Greeted with six agreements and one whoop, she got up and led the way to the nearest pizzeria. Well, part the way, until we realized that not only the pram was still on the grass, Bert was still sitting there next to it. Unsurprisingly, the stupid thing was wailing when I returned to get him. It was going to be a long few days in Rome.

A/N: Please let me know what you think, I do enjoy reading comments;) <-- wink, nudge, hint :P Please vote, thanks, hope you liked the chapter :')