"Wait, are you crying?"

"I don't want you to die..."

"That's not what I asked." He said.

"Well that's my answer."

I wasn't crying. My eyes were a bit watery and, to be fair, I was almost there, but not quite.

It was quiet and tense again. Now a few tears had slipped from my eyes. He hadn't noticed yet. I pulled my knees up to my chest to create some sort of comfort and rested my head on top of them.

"I'm sorry..." He said. "I just... I don't think you have any idea what it's like."

My brow furrowed, "Of what what's like?" I asked, confused.

A sad smile made it's way onto his face. "What it's like to be me."

The waves continued their tantrum, but it was still peaceful. My mind was somewhere out with them, racing just as fast to get back to shore, only to be washed back out again. The quiet was loud, suffocating almost.

I stole glances of Taehyung while he stared out into nothing, unconsciously starting to pick at the skin around my nails. Taking a closer look, I could see his features better. It was hard enough to see him, but I noticed all the tiny freckles on his face and—

"You know as hypocritical as this sounds, you shouldn't do that. They'll start to hurt." What was he— he noticed what I was doing to my nails.

I shook my head a little and stopped picking. "I've always done it, since I was a kid. It doesn't hurt anymore. Why is that hypocritical of you?"

He stiffened slightly. "You haven't— how do you think this happened...?" He said, hesitantly holding out his arms.

Oh. The cuts. "You, you did that to yourself...? Sorry, I didn't want to assume or anything after what you said earlier." I self consciously rubbed my elbow.

He sighed, "It's fine, I did tell you that so..." He paused. "But yeah, I do that to myself. Here," he gestured to a long scar going up his arm, "this is where I cut to kill myself last time."

It was big, too big. It was thick and ugly, still angry and red, a stark contrast to the paler skin surrounding it. There were a lot of smaller ones around it too, still decent in size but nowhere near as big. Most were horizontal but some were following the line of the big one.

I wasn't sure what to say, but he pulled his arm back before I could do anything.