This was a bad idea. I felt it even before I entered this booming club. The smell of alcohol mixed with sweat was nauseating. And the deafening music was accelerating my heartrate with each beat. I'd never been to a place more crowded like this other than the Sunday markets in India. Though the club’s ambience was expensive and everything here screamed top notch, I just couldn't bring myself to like it. The crowd was more lively because of the new year, which made me more uncomfortable.

Ruby made her way through the people,  guiding us to the bar. I could see the bar and the wall behind it full of different liquors through cracks and gaps in the crowd. But I could also see a tall frame, sitting ever so manly on one of the stools, facing the people while holding a glass of alcohol. I didn't want to but I had to acknowledge that Nolan looked hot. Slicked back hair. Irritatingly perfect fitted shirt, showcasing his chiseled body. Exposed chest. Damn.

He appeared uninterested as if, he was attending a lecture and not a party. Ruby's squeal averted his attention to us. While Ruby ran off to jump in Asher's arms, Nolan's and my eyes met. For a second, I thought his eyes had become darker. But the club lighting was dim, so I could’ve imagined it. He continued sipping his drink, while looking at me up, down and then up again. My breath caught up in my chest and it got harder to breathe.  His jaw tensed and I thought I saw his tongue click inside his mouth.

I blamed the non-existent cold in the club for the shiver that ran down my spine and not his intense gaze. I was wearing a black and gold silk jumpsuit, which ended a little down from my inner thighs, I must be cold because of it too. His honey eyes never left my face and something within me tingled. Was he in a bad mood?

I decided to ignore him and grab a seat on the nearby stool beside Amy and Ruby. Even after getting away from his direct view, I could feel a set of eyes staring at me. I shrugged the feeling and focused on what Ruby had ordered for us.

"What is this?" I asked, holding the wine glass. The clear liquid with hints of gold and sparkling bubbles going up the glass’ surface, swirled due to the action.

“White wine,” Ruby stated the obvious and shrugged. They both were drinking cocktails with confusing names then why was I given this plain wine?

"I also want to drink those." I pointed at their glasses, while putting mine down.

"You never had alcohol in your entire life, Kayra. Drinking heavy alcohol at the start can be harmful, so let's just start with this." She nudged the wine glass towards me with her fingers.

I nodded. “Okay.” I understood her, afterall drinking was my motto, it didn't matter what I drank. Then let's get this wine down. I grabbed the glass, took a final look at the girls and chugged it down. My throat burned and the weird spiciness turned sweet soon on my tongue. I put the glass down and my face scrunched with an itchy feeling in my throat. I heard Ruby and Amy cheer for me.

Drinking wasn't as thrilling as I thought. I wasn't even feeling anything. But again I just drank a single glass of plain wine, maybe I need to drink more to understand better.

Ruby wiped her fake tears. "You're no longer an alcohol-virgin. Congratulations!"

A laugh rumbled through my chest at her choice of words. "Is that even a thing?"

"Ruby's dictionary is quite diverse," Amy commented, smiling. But her smile fell when she looked over my head and within a second she chugged down her whole drink.

"Slow down, Am.” I patted her shoulder, baffled by the sudden change in her behavior.

"Fuck! He's so hot," she said, staring at someone over my head. Ruby and I turned to our left and huffed out a laugh. That someone Amy was staring at was Jake. This was the first time Amy said this out loud. I'm sure she had buried a lot of such things about Jake in her heart.

"Alcohol uncovers secrets as well as secret sides,” Ruby chuckled, sipping on her cocktail. But she couldn't even finish her drink when Asher came and swept her off of her chair, in his arms. Ruby giggled. “Laters,” and she was gone.

"Should I just say that to him? Hmm?" Amy leaned on the counter, her hand supporting the weight of her head and her eyes still glued on Jake.

"I want to snatch those darn glasses and look in his eyes and kiss the hell out of-"

I covered her mouth to stop her as panic took over me. "Woah, woah! Slow down." She was definitely drunk or else sober Amelia Carter would never let something like that out.

"Fuck him. Why can't he see me?" She sighed and dropped her head on the table. I couldn't even focus on Amy or Jake because of a certain someone in front of him.

Nolan was having a conversation with Jake but he was still sipping the liquor in between. The way his fingers held the glass and his throat bobbed with each sip. It was a sight to behold.

"How could he sit there unbothered and look so incredibly hot?" I heard Amy from behind me.

"Exactly,” I answered unconsciously, still looking at him. My eyes refused to leave his face or body.

"Huh?" Amy was already looking up at me, when I turned around.

"Huh? Uh, I need a drink.” Shit! I avoided her gaze and drank whatever was in front of me and regretted it soon when my throat burned way more than it did after the three glasses of wine I drank altogether.

"Ergh, What is this?"

"Tequila, Miss," the bartender answered. Ugh, Ruby was right. Strong from the start is not good. I felt a burning gaze upon me once again, which was there ever since I sat here.

"I'll make him mine tonight,” saying, Amy abruptly stood up and left towards Jake with wobbling steps. I didn't bother stopping her, even if she'd curse me later for it. It's time, their crushing ends.

The bitterness was lingering in my mouth but I was still gulping down shots one after the other. I was feeling it, the alcohol kicking in. The hazy view, sparks in veins, accelerated heartbeat. It was oddly good.

I saw Amy and Jake going towards the dance floor, where Ruby and Asher were already dancing. I smiled looking at them. Amy was making progress. Good. My friends were happy. Very good.

My eyes wandered around the club. Everyone was dancing, swaying to the music which wasn't that bothersome to them. Some were downing bottles of liquor one after another. Some were making out in the corners. Some were having sex- Oh shit! My eyes.

"You shouldn't carelessly let your eyes wander,” I heard Nolan's voice and felt his hot breath on my cheek. When did he get here? And this close? He was leaning closer and closer. His breaths tickled my cheek and his honey eyes dived deep in mine. My breath hitched and I sobered up in an instant.

"You might see something you shouldn't," he whispered near my ear and pulled away. Goosebumps ran through my whole body and I felt like I would’ve malfunctioned by now if I'd been sober. Unbothered by what his stunt did to me, he sat on the stool, previously occupied by Ruby and continued drinking his whiskey.

My cheeks felt hot and I could clearly tell, it wasn't because of the alcohol. I couldn't even form any sort of response for him, so I just ignored him, this feeling and everything that concerned him.

I glanced towards the dance floor and my eyes widened as soon as I did. Amy and Jake were kissing. More like, Amy had pulled him down by his collar. She's gonna be flustered tomorrow for sure. I huffed out a surprised laugh and my cheeks ached with how wide I was smiling. The alcohol was kicking in again. Everything felt better to me. I had become numb to the music too. I'm liking it here, strangely.

My head spun and with every passing moment, I felt lighter. "Oww!" It didn't hurt that much even after I bumped my head on the counter. Oh, it's his hand. I swatted Nolan's arm away and laid my head on the counter.

My vision was also getting blurry. But I could still see the blonde flirting with Nolan. Her hands on him, feeling him out. I couldn't see Nolan's face, nor his reaction before I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see him.

It was always like this. From the very first time I saw him at campus. He looked like a warm ball of sunlight. His smile was bright and eyes shone brighter like warm honey. My heart was beating a different rhythm after seeing him. But it didn't last long, I felt like someone poured cold water over me, when all the girls swarmed around him, clinging to him. It felt bitter. The warm sunlight surrounding him suddenly dimmed, turning cold. I reminded myself I couldn't date, so I have no right over such feelings.

Then it turned out he was Asher's friend. I knew if I returned his gentle smile, I would be in deep shit in no time. So, I just became cold towards him to avoid getting hurt in the end.

But the irony is, I am hurting anyway.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

"Ughh! My head!" I clutched my head which was throbbing badly. I looked around to find myself in the living room. I must've slept on the couch. It was eight thirteen in the clock. Some pillows fell down from over my body, when I sat up. I groaned as my whole body ached and I tried to massage my arms when I felt a thick but soft fabric under my palm.

My eyes shot open and I looked down on what I was wearing. I remember, I was wearing something far from soft when I left last night.

I sighed, relieved. I was wearing a hoodie and under it was my jumpsuit. I'm wearing the same thing. But wait, a hoodie? Whose hoodie is this? I took a proper look at the hoodie and tried to sniff it and the scent was oddly familiar. Vanilla and peaches. It was Nolan's.

I was suddenly remembering a hazy picture, but my head spun more the more I tried to remember. I stood up and nearly fell. My legs had no life left in them. Still, I  dragged them to the fridge, while holding the wall for support and drank some cold water.

As the cold water cooled down my burning throat, I started remembering something. The flashback from last night. But the flashback I was having was not good. It was terrifying. No! No!

Noo!