Merrick

It's almost midnight when we land in San Francisco. Nolan booked our suites and got a car waiting for us right at the airport, so we really didn't have to worry about anything. The drive to the hotel doesn't seem long, but when we reach there I can feel exhaustion taking over my body. I get out of the car and help Zelina out. She looks up at me and smiles as she takes my hand, and then we make our way inside. We reach the reception and the hostess welcomes us. When I tell her about the booking done by Nolan she nods and leads us to our rooms. I am sure he has a great reputation around the city hotels considering the number of restaurants he owns himself. The attendants bring our luggage to the rooms and once they leave, I turn to look at Zelina.

Her room is right next to mine. I look at her and suddenly I can't help but think how good it would have been if we were in the same room. What the hell, Merrick? Where are you getting all these creepy thoughts from?

"So that's it. I'll see you tomorrow?" I say, sounding a little awkward.

"Uhhh, yeah. You must be tired, I guess. See you tomorrow then." She says as she turns towards her room. I don't know why but I keep looking at her. As if sensing that I am watching her, Zelina turns and looks at me. I feel a little embarrassed for being caught but she just smiles and then I hear her say. "Goodnight, Merrick."

"Goodnight," I say, and then I force myself to walk into my room. I close the door and then curse under my breath, feeling like I should have said something more.

Merrick, get a fucking grip. Without wasting any time, I head straight to the bathroom to get a nice hot shower. That's what I need to clear my fucking head right now. I am not sure why I am behaving like this? I get inside the shower and stand there thinking about the only woman that has been on my mind for quite a while. It hasn't been a few minutes since I last saw Zelina and I am already yearning to be near her.

I frown at my own thoughts and then get out. I put on a new shirt and some sweats and walk towards the balcony. I push the door open and try to take a deep breath. I am not sure what is happening to me but I can't seem to focus on anything rather than Zelina being right next door. It's like an unknown force pulling me towards her. I place my hands on the railing and look at the night sky, trying to calm myself.

As I stare into the distance, I suddenly find my vision blurring. I don't realize if it's fog or smoke or something else until it gets on my face, suffocating me to cough out. When I turn my head, I realize that it's coming from Zelina's room balcony. I suddenly begin to panic and before I know I am making my way out of the room.

I rush towards her door and when I am about to knock on it, I see that it's already ajar. I frown and call her name. When she doesn't respond on the second call, I slowly walk inside. I know it's inappropriate to get inside her room without her permission but I am just concerned since she didn't answer me. Why the hell she would leave her room door open?

"Zelin..." I am about to call her again when I see her on the balcony. I then realize that she is smoking. I walk towards the balcony and stand at the doorway. She is still in the dress that she came here and my eyes drop down to the curve of her hips as she leans on the railing. I clench my jaw and force myself to look up as I watch her make rings by puffing out smoke.

"Are you here to tell me the same bullshit that everyone says...I mean how I can get killed if I smoke a cigarette?" She asks without turning to look at me. It seems as if she knew I was going to follow her up here.

"No, I am not," I come and stand next to her. "I feel like you are smart enough to know that yourself," I look at her and say. She chuckles as she takes another drag from her cigarette. I don't know why but I feel a little concerned about her. "I just want to know if you are okay?"

She looks at me and I see her eyes look a little sad. She gulps slowly and my eyes move towards her hands which are shaking now. "You can't help even if I am not." She says softly.

"Why?" I frown as I step closer to her. "Zelina, you know I am here for you."

"I know...but this is different." She shakes her head and then I see her breathing heavily as she smokes out another large puff. From looking at her, I can say that something is not right and it worries me.

"What is different?" I ask her, suddenly having a feeling that she didn't want to come with me. Of course, she wouldn't know anyone at tomorrow's event. Maybe she is nervous about it. "If you don't wanna come to Nolan's party...then it's fine. You don't have to stress about it." I say.

"It's not that. You don't understand Merrick." She shakes her head.

"What is it then?" I ask her, starting to get a little frustrated by her persistence.

"I haven't been to anyone's bed in a long time and it is making me restless." She says and her eyes seem red as if she is getting angry. "I am anxious for sex, Merrick. My body is yearning to get a fucking orgasm. Can you help me get that release?" She says harshly and I look at her in disbelief. For a moment, I feel like I can't find my voice and I just stare at her looking completely stunned. This was the last thing I expected her to say after how nice and sweet our journey has been.

"I knew you can't help that's why I didn't want to bother you. You don't want me and I get it. You made it very clear on the first day we met." Zelina says bitterly. I just look at her dumbfoundedly. I wish I had an answer for that because any man who wouldn't want Zelina would definitely be blind. I don't know how to explain it to her. It's just that I am not someone who'd try to take a woman to his bed on the first meeting.

When I don't say anything, Zelina lets out a sigh and then shakes her head. She tilts her head and I know she is trying to avoid my gaze. "I am sorry... just go, Merrick. I shouldn't have said that." She whispers, having a dreadful expression on her face. "You weren't supposed to see me like this. Why are you still here? You shouldn't be, Merrick. Hell, you shouldn't have asked me to come with you in the first place...I am nothing but a dirty whore who is always desperate for sex and all thanks to my fucking mother..."

"Zelina..." I interrupt as I place my hands on her arms. I can know she is panicking with how troubled she sounds. She stops and when she turns to look at me, I see tears in her eyes. "How often does this happen?" I ask her softly, hoping that she knows what exactly I am trying to mean.

She bites her lip and lowers her gaze but I place my thumb under her chin and make her look up. I wipe a tear that falls on her cheek. "Not every day but...it's been like this since I broke ties with Ashton." She says and I clench my jaw.

"I wish things weren't so complicated. I wish I was just a normal woman." She says slowly. "Do you regret asking me to come with you? I wouldn't blame you even if you did."

I look into her eyes and my eyes soften. "No, Zelina. I don't regret it and I still want to have you by my side tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" She asks innocently.

"One hundred percent."

"Why?"

"Because your past doesn't define the kind of person you are now. You are beautiful Zelina. In and out...I don't know about anyone else but I can see that and you should see that too." I smile and say. "Stop being so hard on yourself."

She gives me a pained look, making me frown this time. "You don't understand...my past is a burden that I have to carry for the rest of my life no matter how much I regret it. Everyone knows who I am and if I went there with you...people won't stay quiet about it. I am bad news, Merrick. I'll ruin everything..."

I drop my hands from her arms and reach to hold her hand. "I didn't ask you to come with me out of any obligation. I know what I am doing, Zelina. You just need to stop worrying. it's going to be okay..." I say gently. She looks down at our hands for a moment, trying to contemplate what I said.

Her gaze moves briefly to the cigarette she is holding and then she looks at me again. "I would kiss you right now if I didn't have to brush my teeth first." She says with a frown.

I chuckle, suddenly feeling embarrassed and I see Zelina smiling. I love watching her smile. "Come here," I say after a moment as I pull her in for a hug. I smile when she drops the cigarette and wraps her arms around me. "It's going to be alright," I whisper as I hold her tight against my chest, wishing everything just goes well tomorrow.