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Lucas

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"Are you sure you're going to be ok?"

"Yes sis," I sighed out. "I'm just going across the line."

"Lucas, you know that's not what I meant."

"I know," I said with a tiny smile. "I need to go Char, you're right. It's my home."

"I know," she breathed back before she looked over her shoulder at Ryder standing guard over Dagny. "We have a spare bedroom if you need to come back."

"And spend another night in your pheromone reeked house? I don't think so."

"Lucas!" she swatted my chest while laughter poured out of my mouth. Embarrassing Charlotte had to be one of my new favorite pastimes.

"It's true!" Ryder called out.

Charlotte rolled her eyes, almost like how my dad does, while Levi talked with Ethan. I pulled her into a hug then let out a long breath. "I'll be fine Char."

"Ok well link when you're settled in?"

"Ok," I breathed back as my dad and Ethan walked to us.

"Come here Charlie girl," my dad said with a tired smile, opening his arms for her to walk into a hug.

Ethan walked to me and pulled me into a hug as well. "You can come back if you need to."

"I'll be fine Ethan."

"Just, well–just be careful."

"Geez mom, I am older than you, you know that right?"

Ethan pulled away and waved me off while Charlotte walked towards him. I rolled my eyes then stepped in line with my dad before we both waved to them as we made our way back home; a way that I remembered by heart. I had traveled this route at least a thousand times before.

Before.

To think that we were all caught up like pawns on a chess table. What happened to us seemed so small compared to everything now, yet the ghost feeling of knife against my neck reminded me that what happened wasn't small at all. Someone, that Hayden bastard, still has my pelt; and my dad has my fangs–my mother and sister's fangs.

I wanted to toss mine in the ocean and burn my old pelt. I wondered if it was even around now, if it had disappeared when I reappeared? My skin crawled at the thought, I hoped it did; I didn't think I would handle seeing my own skin leathered out like that well.

"You alright son?"

I looked over at my dad, who still at times felt like a dream and nodded. "Are you sure? We can wait a few more days."

Dad shook his head. "Nope, it's time to bring you home."

"Alpha Levi, am I going home or to Lander's?" Penelope asked.

"Well Pen, your dad said to take you home. If he's at Lander's though, we can take you there."

She sighed while she walked a few steps with us. "I should check on Lyle."

"How is Lyle?" I asked.

"That damn boy's a lot like the rest of us, been too close to shifting. Lander almost shifted out of his damn skin four times about three months before he finally did. I shifted the day I turned thirteen, almost drove my dad crazy. About every other week Lander would piss me the hell off and I would about come out of my skin. You were the same way, remember?"

I did remember. I almost shifted at least three our four times about two months before, then every day the week I shifted it was a constant battle to hold onto my skin. The smallest things would set him off; it was a daily war that both my parents were more than glad to be over when I finally did shift.

"Definitely not pleasant."

Dad scoffed out a laugh. "No, real pain in the ass is what is was–" he paused and looked ahead for a few moments while we walked then let out a long breath. "Come on, David's gonna meet us at the house. I think we've got some steaks, I'll have to check. Pen, your dad said you can go to Lander's until he picks you up on the way to dinner, alright?"

"Ok alpha Levi," she said with a smile.

I felt my beast stir, and it was still a feeling that tripped me out–shifted out in this world again. When I first let him out–when Evan took me hunting, it took me a few minutes to remind myself that it was real. I think I scared the shit out of Evan, for about ten minutes all he could do was stare at me with his jaw hanging open. I don't blame him, if I were in his shoes I would probably do the same.

My feet took a few steps until I lunged and let my fur come forward; a natural shift that I had done more times than I could count, yet it still felt almost new to me. My beast shook out his fur, smelling the air until he trotted over to the little girl and laid down so she could climb on his back.

I almost forgot what it felt like to run next to dad–what my dad felt like. When I was little, I used to think my dad was the biggest wolf I had ever seen. I remember crawling all over him and Lander with Charlotte; Dad would always lick Char's baby belly, and cause her to squeal out and laugh and laugh and laugh until he and uncle Lander were practically rolling on the floor themselves.

Uncle Lander.

I don't care what anyone said, I felt guilty as hell.

Liam shouldn't have walked and Evangeline shouldn't have jumped. I knew I should have kept my ass in the portal, but I had this nudge–this pull that pushed me otherwise. Especially when I saw Charlotte; I didn't even ask second questions, I knew I had to help her.

I was a dead man and Liam knew that. He should have just left me dead.

My beast snapped at me. He hated that I thought like that; he knew we were here for a reason, and while he was devastated over the losses, he wasn't about to swim in guilt all day.

Running through the pack was surreal as hell. Half of the wolves would yip at Levi, until they saw me–then they would just yip too; I don't really think they fully realized who I was. However, the wolves that did recognize me just stood their with their damn jaws open, unable to speak or move as we passed them.

Dad didn't care though. He just ran along barking and yipping at wolves that passed us by. We dropped Penelope off at Lander's, Lyle running out to meet her before we headed back to our home; my old house and dad ran over to a little area next to the woodpile where he always kept extra clothes.

That damn woodpile.

Shit, I was so going to have to chop some damn wood now.

Dad was pulling some sweatpants on before he tossed me a pair. I quickly shifted to my skin and pulled them on, then follow him up the stairs and into our house.

It looked almost the exact same plus or minus a few things. He got a new coffee pot, that was definitely new, and he got a new recliner which was a good thing since his old one I was pretty sure had mold growling in it; but he loved that damned thing, as much as my mom hated it, and refused to get rid of it.

He also added some things, things like photos around the house. There was a picture of him and Charlotte on the front porch sitting on an end table, on the wall that led to the hall back to his room was a picture of Derek, Charlotte, and Elliot in matching onesies, on another end table there was a picture of Evan and Lyanna–Evan had her thrown over his shoulder and was running somewhere, on the refrigerator there was a photo of Liam and Evangeline covered in mud–both of them holding their thumbs up, and above the fireplace mantle was a photo of Ethan and Charlotte–Charlotte was laughing hard at something while Ethan was kissing her cheek.

There were no photos of us, though. I felt a little pang at the thought but I didn't blame my dad. I still couldn't understand how the hell he didn't join us.

"You got rid of the recliner?"

Dad barked out a laugh. "Lander came in here one day and took the damn thing. I mean, he replaced it, but that was a good chair."

"Dad it had mold, I promise you it did," I replied with a smile while I leaned against the counter.

Dad mused for a moment then shrugged. "Mold never hurt anybody. You're still in your room. Was Charlotte's for a while, you may want to get showered up David's coming over with Penelope." He turned and open the freezer, digging around like he was looking for his favorite bone to chew on. "I've got some deer steaks?"

"Sounds good," I breathed out before I turned down the hall toward my room.

My room that smelled so much like my sister still. Like a King.

I still can't believe they took all of that from us. I can't believe that I didn't remember even after I died. My mom used to build us forts in this room to play in, right in the middle of the floor where I was standing.

My beast sighed in the back of my mind. As much as we loved our sister we wanted our room back, we were going to have to roll around on everything later.

The shower still gargled for a good two minutes before water would come out of the showerhead. I could hear David come in, but I wanted to take my time. Seeing people I saw before the attack was still just as much of a shock for me as it was for them.

I had seen David at Liam's funeral before. He didn't say much; he gave my shoulder a squeeze but I think everyone was too consumed with grief to fully realized what I was–who I was. I was glad. The whole, 'welcome back from the dead,' conversation gets very old very quick.

The smell of potatoes and wine in the air drew me out of my room. As much as my dad didn't want to admit it, he was the world's biggest wino. I think that he really prefers it or whiskey.

I tugged on a shirt over my sweatpants and walked out; my hair was still damn so I shook it out a little more to get the leftover water out. David was talking to my dad until his eyes caught mine. His mouth dropped slightly before he let out a long breath. "Well come here boy, Christ, you're like Goddamn Lazarus."

I breathed out a laugh and walked into a hug. David ended up crushing me to him and letting his beast come closer to smell me again–he always was a big softie. "Good to see you too?"

David chuckled then let me go, looking me up and down with a ghost smile on his lips. "You've grown Lucas. I think you got taller."

"I did," I replied with a smile.

"How old will you be this year? What is it–"

"Twenty-nine," my dad accurately cut in. "Almost close to thirty Lucas."

"Don't remind me," I grumbled.

David rolled his eyes then eyed me again. "Still just a pup."

"Well to you, I mean you're like a gagillion years old David," I replied back with a sly smile.

Dad started laughing while he brushed marinade over the raw steaks. "Yap, we're both about there David."

"Dad!" a little voice whispered.

David set his glass of wine down and picked up a little girl with brown pigtails. "Sorry sweetie," he said as he kissed her cheek.

"Hey Lucas?"

"Hey Penelope?" I asked with a smirk while I pulled a glass out for myself.

"Was what the other side like?" she asked with wide eyes.

I shrugged. "I don't really remember. It's like waking up from a dream you can't remember."

She scrunched her nows. "Well, that blows."

I laughed and poured myself a glass of wine while dad laughed with me. He looked up at Penelope before he tossed the marinade brush in the sink. "Pen, Lucas used to babysit you when you were real little. You and Lyle both."

"Really?" she rushed out. "Well, I don't remember."

"Well, you were a baby, you wouldn't remember," David added before he set her down on one of the stools. "You want something to drink sweetie?"

"Whiskey Pen?" dad teased.

She rolled her eyes. "No alpha Levi, I don't want chest hair!"

"What?" I looked at my dad who was laughing his ass off as he carried the steaks outside to the grill while David rubbed his face.

"Levi told Pen that whiskey was good for her–that it would put hair on her chest and make her strong like him," David said. "To which she told him, 'no one likes chest hair alpha Levi.'"

I almost spit my drink out then high fived Penelope. "Don't let my dad give you too hard of a time." I turned back to David who was taking a sip from his cup. "How's Lander and Claire?"

He gave me a sympathetic smile. "Better. Claire went on a run with Lander today. They'll get through it, it's just hard, you know that. It's you your fault Lucas, I certainly don't think that. If anything I am really glad to have you back, missed beating your ass too much."

I rolled my eyes. "Please David, you mean you miss me beating your ass."

Penelope scoffed. "I don't think so, my dad's like as tough as alpha Levi."

I bit back a laugh while David gave his daughter an approving kiss on the head. "Alpha Levi is only so tough until you take his ice cream or coffee away, and then I promise you that all hell breaks lose."

"You shouldn't do that," she sang out. "Lyle did one day and it was bad."

"Lyle did what?" I asked curiously.

"He hid alpha Levi's ice cream in his freezer behind a bunch of other stuff. Alpha Levi was pissed and called Lander," she answered simply.

"I told your dad he needs to clean out his damn freezer," David grumbled.

"How is Lyle?" I asked. I hadn't seen much of him yet, but I used to watch him when he was just a little pup with my sister. Lydia would always get so mad because I would let Liam and Lyanna stay up too late and eat probably too much sugar.

Penelope blushed while David rolled his eyes. "Lyle brought Pen some flowers the other day because her pet frog died."

"Dad," she whined.

"Your pet frog died?"

She nodded with a slight pout. "Freddy was a good frog. I caught him myself."

"And Lyle brought you flowers?" I asked, a small smile tugging at my lips.

"Yes, he said he picked them himself," she replied very matter of factly before she turned to David. "Hey, dad can I go his house tomorrow? I promised I would before school."

"Well I think Lyle's helping his mom tomorrow sweetie, but maybe. What about after school? We can go over there and scoop him up? I've got some work to do but you two can come with me."

"Ok," she rushed out.

"Dad said he almost shifted the other day?"

David nodded before he looked at Penelope. "She's been showing signs too. The other night her fangs almost came in. Scared the shit out of me."

"What?" I asked with wide eyes before I looked at her.

She nodded and rubbed her jaw. "It hurt really bad."

"It does," I breathed out as the ghost pains of my fist shift made my skin twitch.

"Did that happen to you?" she asked.

I nodded. "I almost shifted like four times two months before, then like almost every day before I turned. The fangs were definitely one of the worst parts," I answered before my tongue ran over my gums.

David nodded. "Ya Lyle's arm actually broke the other day, another time his fur started to come in. He has maybe another few weeks until his birthday, so we've all been trying to keep an eye on him and keep him calm, right Pen?"

"That's right," she said with a firm nod.

"When's your birthday Pen?" I asked.

"August seventh," she replied.

"So not long either," I told David who shook his head.

"No," he breathed out. "Hopefully we don't have too many scares."

"Good luck," dad breathed out on a laugh. "Lucas here had to have a damn episode every damn day the week he almost shifted. One day I about let him go, I was about fed up with his ass."

I rolled my eyes. "Right," I said into my glass.

"Won't be too long. Penny, you still want a baked potato?"

"Alpha Levi, my name is Penelope," she corrected.

"I know, but I think it's a pretty good little nick name," Dad said as he started to pull things out of the refrigerator.

"Did he give that to you?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Alpha Ethan did," she grumbled.

I bit back a laugh while David did laugh into his glass. Ethan was like Eli's twin. I swear to God they look almost the exact same. Although personality wise they were different; Ethan was almost more thoughtful and calculated than Eli–quieter. He was always watching us, always following us around. Eli used to tease him until one day Ethan almost broke his nose off his damn face.

It made sense. After a while, it was hard to say who the stronger pup was, although Eli would have come at my ass if I ever said that to him. Eli was just like pure rage when he fought but Ethan was always so much more conniving; he was the fire that burned you where he knew it would hurt. Got me good a couple of times too.

He was a lot like Eli–Eli who I barely remember now. I remember seeing him and screwing around with him up there; I remember him and I finding ways to piss his dad off and my mom getting furious with us, but even his memory from the other side was starting to fade away.

I think the only bad thing about Ethan was that he loved Charlotte so much he would probably give her his damn balls if she asked him to. God I wished she would haven grown up with us, I would have loved to give them both hell about it.

"Alright Lucas grab the plates, they're where they always are, David get some silverware," dad called out before he headed out to the grill with a pair of tongs and a cookie sheet. I sighed. My dad had to remind me where the plates where in my own house, I don't know why but the thought irked me.

"Don't worry Lucas, it's just an adjustment for all of us," David said with a smile. "Come on Pen, grab the napkins."

I sighed and started to pull out some plates while David set silverware around the table. Dad had outdone himself. We had bacon wrapped venison filets, baked potatoes that I slathered sour cream all over, and a salad that I am pretty sure was there just so dad can say that he had something green on the table. Penelope had piled tons of cheese and bacon bits on her baked potato, stealing most of the bacon which my dad proceeded to scoop off of and onto his potato because , 'little girl, there's no way in hell I'm letting you have all that bacon.'

It was my first real meal back home–home. A place that felt so right yet still like a glove that didn't quite fit.

David was finishing off another baked potato while dad sat back and drank his wine. "Well Levi, not bad. Thanks again."

"Not a problem," dad replied into his glass. "Now wanna tell me about what you and Jake been cooking up?"

David groaned. "Well, we're just stretched out thin Levi, you know that. Right now the tree's the number one priority, but we also–both of us, have miles and miles of borders to cover. That's also not to mentioned Amaruq that we are still occupying."

Dad growled out low and cranky. "That damn man was more trouble than he's worth."

"Greg?" I asked.

Dad nodded. "It's where they had Charlie, Amber, Barrett, and Dominic. They had a blood bank there too, and apparently according to Charlie, they were making bloodstones there. Not any stones anymore."

"That's the pack that you and Ajax are splitting up?"

Dad shrugged. "Ajax and I haven't decided yet. I mean, Greg always had a nice piece of land, but it's just more land that we don't necessarily have enough people to watch right now. We've got enough problems here."

"Didn't he have heirs or anyone to step up?"

"No," David breathed out. "He, his beta, and well, his cabinet have had a nice time with Ajax's pigs."

"Shit," I said with wide eyes. "What of his Luna and kids?"

"Well, we were going to let her and the kids just live peacefully, but she tried to kill Talia–Ajax's mate, so Talia ripped her intestines out–"

"Eww," Penelope said with her nose scrunched.

Dad chuckled and ruffled her hair before he took another sip of wine and looked back at me. "His kids are staying with some warriors. Half of their men had no idea, the other half did."

"So what of the ones you two didn't kill? Why not let them run things?"

"Well you know as well as I that some wolves are just not meant for that job Lucas," dad replied. " There may be some that can, it's honestly probably too soon to make a decision. I wouldn't mind letting his sons have it, but they're young and not ready for it."

"We could always let them join Levi," David mused. "Their warriors liked ours, Kyle seemed to get along with the younger ones."

"Kyle?" I asked with wide eyes. "Like Kyle Morgan?"

David chuckled. "He's my second right now, a damn good one too."

"Shit," I breathed out. Kyle was only a few years older than me and used to run around with Eli and I when we were kids. He also probably has a scar still on his hip from a fun time with me, a can of spray paint, and a creek. Kyle was tough until Kyle was not tough. I think Ethan actually took a good chunk out of his hide once too.

"He's not so easy to beat around anymore," David said with a knowing smile.

"We'll see about that," I grumbled.

Dad laughed then shook his head. "Once you get settled in son, you should start training with David here in the mornings. He's got a nice little run he takes."

"Same one down to that river?" I asked quickly.

David nodded. "Same one plus or minus a few more stops."

"How's Remi?" Dad asked. "Barely seen the poor kid. I should probably go check on him."

David shrugged. "Beat up. Liam was his best friend. Ryder's been over a lot, so, you know–that helps."

"Damn I don't know why those two just don't come on out about it," dad grumbled into his glass.

"Hold on are they mates?" I asked looking between the two.

David shrugged. "They've been keeping it a hell of a secret if they are. Don't know if they are true mates or bond mates. I mean, everyone knows. It's not like it's really a secret anymore."

"Charlie girl said she would try and talk to Ryder," Dad added. "Although I don't know if her approach is as gentle as either of them needs."

I scoffed out a laugh. "I doubt that. Maybe Evan or Ethan should."

"I know Bowie said he's been getting out of the house more and keeping busy which is good. Lucas, maybe you should take him hunting with you?" David said with slight hopefulness in his voice.

Dad mused then eyed me. "Well, let's see how he is tomorrow. You and I may need to go to Lusa Lucas."

"Remember when Eli had a crush on Andrea?" I thought out loud with a nostalgic smile.

"Everyone had a crush on Andrea, you boys followed her around so much Chris almost felt bad for who her damn mate would be," my dad chuckled out.

"Well David, I've got make calls tomorrow and Lucas and I need to dig through some of Leland's shit. I can see if anyone can spare men?"

"We need to make a decision soon Levi," David said. "Ours are getting worn out and I fear that whatever this is–is far from over."

"Dad why don't you just tell the wolves there that they can either join our pack or reclaim their borders? Tell them it has to be a majority so you don't have to worry about the pack flipping, but if they want it back then see who steps up. If they're too weak then just put their ass down in front of the pack and remove that option from them.

"If they do take it back we wouldn't need to have as many men there. I'm sure they would rather do it themselves like we would if it was us. Just have the other bordering packs send men, Amaruq is just as much their problem as it is ours."

Dad held my gaze for a while then nodded. "Not a bad idea, I'll let Lander handle it. It will give him a little more to put on his mind and keep him busy, but you're helping him, son. Understand?"

"Yes sir," I murmured into my glass while David nodded approvingly.

"I'll talk to Ajax," dad breathed out. "I rather them not join right now, but at least we wouldn't be splitting that pack up."

"What about Jaxon's rock? We need more men there?" David asked.

Dad shook his head. "Bernard said it's pretty useless. Jaxon does need to borrow a trailer. They want to load it up and haul it over to Ajax's. Ajax said he's got a guy with a tug boat that can haul it out and drop it in the ocean."

"Why don't we try that with the tree?" I asked. "Couldn't they just dig it up and drop it somewhere deep?"

Dad mused then eyed David. "Hell, that's not a bad idea. It be a bitch to get out of there–"

"We'd probably need a winch or a tractor," David injected.

"Jaxon's got a tractor, we could try pulling it out first," dad said as he bit at the inside of his cheek. "I'll call Ethan. Evan's been too excited to use those damn explosives anyways."

"Shit," David hissed out. "That damn boy is going to blow us all up if he's not careful."

"He was always a little pyro," I added.

"So were you–well, are," dad corrected before he took another drink.

"Dad, can I help blow the tree up?" Penelope asked.

"No," David said firmly. "I doubt Evan is going to even get to. Ethan's not too keen on the idea at all."

"Well he is, he's just–well I don't think anyone really trusts Evan with explosives," I laughed out.

"True," dad added.

We finished dinner and cleared away everything. Dad sent some extra food home with David and Penelope before they disappeared in the forest behind our house. Afterward, dad decided that it was time for a drink and for his damn ice cream which we ended up sharing out on the front porch.

It still felt so weird. It felt like a dream. It felt almost unnatural but in the same breath, it felt totally natural.

"What's on your mind son," dad asked while he swirled his whiskey on ice around in his glass.

"I dunno," I breathed out, sitting back in my seat while I scooped out some more ice cream. "I came back from the damn dead dad."

"No shit son," dad said on the edge of a sharp breath. "I thought I had seen it all, I guess I certainly have not."

"I just–" I sighed and stuck my spoon in the frozen cream and leaned further back in my wicker chair. "It feels like home but it doesn't."

"I would say something like, 'well that's natural,' but hell–I have no idea how any of us are supposed to feel," dad replied honestly. "I do know that you're here. You are here now with us and you belong here with us. You start doubting that you seal your own fate son and I won't have that. I'm not lighting your damn pyre again."

"I know," I replied quietly. "I don't remember it. I remember dying, I remember that too well–" I let out a shaky breath and looked back over at my dad. "I feel like it's a dream. Like I woke up in the middle of it. I barely remember mom and Eli now. I know I saw Lydia but I don't remember."

"There's a reason we're not supposed to know what's over there Lucas," dad told me firmly. "It's why getting rid of that damn door is more than important amongst other things. Some things, well, we're not supposed to know everything and that's ok. We don't have to know everything and not everything needs to make sense for us."

"Alright Gandhi," I said on the edge of a breathy laugh.

Dad rolled his eyes. "Just don't beat on Kyle's ass too hard tomorrow."

"Why not?!"

"Lucas..."

"Fine," I said while waving him off. "You ruin all my fun dad."

"I said don't beat his ass too hard, I didn't say you couldn't scare the shit out of him. That's a sight I wouldn't mind seeing."