I stared at myself in the mirror. My black curls had been chopped off, and by no means was my hair cut the most refined, but I couldn't help but admire the weightlessness feeling that had overcome me. While my old hair let down used to reach my elbows or be braided or pinned back or tied into a bun, my new hair could do none of that. It fell shorter than my shoulders. It fell shorter than my chin. It fell shorter than even my ears. I had used my dagger to saw off everything at the nape of my neck and above, leaving it at only a few finger-widths in length. The curls at the top of my head were longer, and fell just over my forehead.

I couldn't resist pulling on one, stretching it out so that it reached past my cheekbone. When I released it, it bounced back into its place. In the mirror, I saw Sidra approach behind me. I suddenly felt very conscious of what I had done, and began pressing my hand to my short hair as if trying to smooth it down. As if that would help. "Thank you."

"I like it." Sidra smiled as she reached up, combing her fingers through my curls. "It suits you well, if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not worried about anything. I cut it for a reason." I pulled away from her touch and took the clothing from her. "I am embarrassed about coming here with no clean clothes to change into."

She shrugged her shoulders, holding my wrap for me as I changed in front of her. "Honestly, you were beginning to smell. I didn't have the heart to tell you."

I smiled, saying, "Your humor is incredible."

"I'm well aware."

The clothes that she had bought me were soft, and I relished the feeling of clean cotton on my skin. The workers had told me that my clothes wouldn't be dry for another hour or so, but that they would bring the clothing up to me as soon as it was. That meant we had to stay longer. That meant I had more time.

"Whenever you're ready, we've all been discussing the plans for... the plan." Sidra lay the wrap on a bench nearby and gestured for me to follow her. "We came up with a few ideas, but you probably know both the layout of the sanctuary and Daya the best. You should have the final say. We do all agree that night would be the best time."

I couldn't say anything, so I just followed her. My new clothing was a nice shade of rusted brown, and it was just big enough to hide the curves of my body. I pulled the scarves over my head and face as Sidra did the same, though I realized that I now had a much easier time doing so. I no longer had to bother pulling my hair back or tucking it away so that it wouldn't fall out and reveal itself. Sidra, though, had to finagle hers until the edge of the scarves rested tightly against her face so that nothing would be revealed.

"We've already packed everything and replenished supplies. Once your clothes are dry we'll be ready to leave. We can discuss the plan until then and along the way." Sidra spoke, but I could feel my mind wandering away.

I wasn't ready to discuss anything with anyone. I wanted to go back to the bathing room and wash everything away. I wanted to pretend that I had nowhere important to be and no one important to see. I wanted to pretend that I was just another guest at the inn who stunk and needed a bath. Though, to be fair, I was never really given that opportunity. I suppose I could wait a little longer.

I tipped my chin up the slightest bit as Sidra looked onward. "What ideas have you tossed around?"

"Well," she began, "we all agreed it should be a solo mission. You would have to go into the sanctuary alone. We'll try to hang around the building in case anything happens, but we don't think it would be smart for all of us to waltz in there at once."

"You would be correct."

She smiled. "We also figured you would know the layout the most, so that helps. If you could give us a route that you'll be taking, we'd appreciate it. That way, if anything happens..." she paused. She looked at me with wide eyes, and I felt my shoulders drop just an inch when she pursed her lips and tried again. "Not that anything would happen, but in case one of us needed to go in instead of you or after you, we would need to know the layout. There's also the issue of the spellbook."

"What about it?"

"We came to a disagreement. Ambrose and I thought that, if need be, you should have the spellbook on you. That way, if you can't..." she realized she wasn't saying the right thing again and cleared her throat. "If it comes down to bartering for your life or any of ours, we want you to have the spellbook. That way it isn't just an attempt on her life."

"How do you mean?"

"If she finds you and doesn't suspect you of trying to kill her? It would be better for you to act as if you were handing over the book rather than trying to take her on while she was awake and conscious. Wouldn't you agree?"

I sighed. Yes. I agreed.

When we reached the room, we could hear Ambrose and Fal discussing the matter more. "We need to have a fallback position in case we are split up," Ambrose said. When we walked in, their eyes turned to the two of us. "Oh... wow."

Ambrose and Fal rose to their feet, taking in my no longer full head of hair. Fal spoke first, "That's different."

I instinctively reached up to cover my head and felt heat rising up my neck. "Is it that bad?"

"No," Ambrose said, shooting Fal a dirty look. "You look great. It really is just not what we expected when you said you were going to go bathe. That's all. I quite like it, actually. One may think you took it from a source of inspiration, hm?" The boy gestured to his own short head of black curls and I gave a terse smile.

"It was getting so hard to keep up with. Besides, it just got in the way of everything." I kept my eyes on the ground, feeling the embarrassment overcome me as the room fell silent. I moved to sit on the bed, crossing my legs together and leaning forward. "So? You were talking about a fallback position?" I worked up the courage to look up at everyone.

Fal nodded. "Right... the... uh... my place?"

"No, that would be too predictable." I shook my head.

"Or," Ambrose pointed his finger into the air, "is it so predictable that it's unpredictable? As in, if they thought it was an obvious hideout they wouldn't check there, but really we would be there. You catch what I'm saying?"

"Unfortunately, we are. It's a stupid idea, Ambrose. Let it go." Sidra rolled her eyes and sat on the bed beside me. "Why not where we tied Durabi up last time? We'll have to tie him there again, won't we? We can all meet up and if by a certain time someone hasn't returned, we just leave."

"Very selfish of you..." Ambrose muttered.

Sidra was about to say something back to him when Fal rose his hand between the two. "That works. It's decided. Now, we need Aumee to go over the layout. That way if we need to play rescue we aren't stuck in a maze that our enemy knows all the secrets to." He looked at me, but I tore my gaze away.

"I'll need something to draw with."

"I have some kohl we can draw on the stone with. It should wash away rather easily." Sidra sprung to her feet and began rooting through the bags.

We all moved a small rug from the floor and I began detailing the layout of the sanctuary. I tried to draw only what was important, but they asked so many questions about alternate routes and good hiding spots if need be. I detailed the best ones, as well as marked places to avoid, such as the courtyard and the balcony and the rooms of the children. They all understood it well enough.

Someone knocked at the door, and we all froze. "Madam, we have your dried laundry. Would you like us to bring it in to you?"

"Coming," I called. I pulled the rug over the drawing and placed my finger over my lips as I moved to the door, wiping the black smudges that coated my fingertips onto my new robes. It was no wonder I couldn't keep anything nice. I eased open the door and saw the sweet face of one of the workers. "Thank you for the trouble." I unloaded my clothing from her, and stretched back towards a stand that held money leftover from the supplies run. I plucked a few coins off of it and offered them to her. "Please share it with the others."

"Madam, you already gave us some coin..." She spoke quietly, her head falling low. I could tell she wanted the money, so I just closed her fingers in over the cool metal.

"I gave you coin for the bath. This is for the laundry cleaning and the hair cleanup. I'm not the tidiest person."

"Thank you, Madam." She bowed and shuffled down the hallway. I closed the door once more and turned to everyone else.

I took a minute, but sat on the bed once more. "You all shouldn't need to step foot in the sanctuary. I'll go in past midnight. Daya never stays up too late, and the girls have usually snuck off to bed by then. There should be a girl in the watchtower to let me in. If there isn't, I'll have to sneak over the walls but that will set off the wards that Daya has drawn on them. Don't stop thinking about the sanctuary, either. The wards are strong, and can easily sway your mind to look the other direction and head elsewhere." I took a deep breath. "I'll take the book with me. If anything happens, I agree that it's a good way to get out of our situation." I looked between the three of them. "I know you haven't completed your spells yet, but... truth be told, if we don't stop Daya and Deorcae, you'll never get the chance to even live them out."

The twins shared a look with one another before Ambrose grabbed his sister's hand and pat the back of it. "We know enough. We can try to write down what we can of the spell, but if dark magic does make Deorcae stronger, we need to avoid using it until after we've faced him."

Fal didn't seem all too phased, and I felt my brows furrow as I took him in. He shrugged it off. "Life as a desert orc isn't terrible. I've done cooler stuff, sure, but I agree with the boy. This magic is dark. If dark magic is what it takes to put me back, then I'm not sure I want any part in it."

"Are you sure? You haven't even had time to look for your-" I tried to talk to him, but he waved me off.

"I'm sure. I can do more in this form than I could in my previous one."

"Okay." I let it go. Something was off, but now wasn't the time. It was likely just the issue of him trying to move past something he had really been looking forward to. Perhaps he thought ignoring the disappointment would help.

"Well. The clothes have returned. Perhaps we should get moving." Sidra rose to her feet and everyone began bustling about the room to make sure we had everything we needed.

As we left the inn, Durabi seemed pleased that we had all returned. He had come a long way since being a stubborn pup back in Arden. Fal was his clear favorite. Perhaps he knew that Fal was the only one who wasn't scared of the thing-- because unlike human flesh, Durabi couldn't bite through layers of desert rock. The two walked close to one another, but I held the reins. The twins led the way, joking lightly with one another as we started back out into the Wayst.

"How are you feeling?"

My head snapped up to see Fal looking over Durabi at me. "How am I feeling?" He nodded. I twisted my lips and looked out over the horizon, shading my eyes with my right hand. "I don't feel great if that's what you're asking."

I could hear the smile in his voice. "Aumee, we're asking a lot of you. It's okay for your head to be spinning."

I felt my throat catch. I let out a long sigh and turned back to him. "Fallon Ere, I feel like I do any other time. I have an assignment. That's all this is."

"We both know that's not true." Fal lowered his voice, as if he thought I was acting so defensive because the twins were nearby. "You have already had to face these two once. You know what Daya is capable of. And you know what Deorcae is capable of. You've experienced his wrath. It's okay if you're scared. I'm scared for you." When I didn't say anything, he moved over so that he was at my side and Durabi was no longer between us. "We have your back. I don't know if you'll need us. I don't know if you even want us to help you if things go south. But I want you to know that if anything happens to you, I'll be there. You've done too much to be stopped now."

He couldn't see my face because it was all wrapped up to shield myself from the desert sun. He couldn't see my eyes because I was looking anywhere but him. My eyes were misty, threatening to spill tears at any moment. I breathed in through my nose before speaking. "Thanks, Fal." I couldn't stand the thought of an unstable voice betraying how I really felt.

How did I really feel though?

I was scared, that was for sure. I was definitely worried about everyone else. I didn't feel scared for me though. I felt scared for everyone else because if I failed, they would pay the consequences. No one would be safe. Not just those around me, but every person who stepped foot in the Wayst.

That wasn't just it, though. No. It was the fear of what I was doing. I was betraying those closest to me. I was putting the lives of people who had grown me up and confided in me. I was destroying the longest relationship I had with anyone. Just the thought of it was making my stomach burn with bile. When was the last time I had even eaten? The opportunity was gone. If I ate now, I would throw up.

I needed to pull myself together. Immediately. If I didn't, the consequences would be too great.

I could feel the dagger against my hip. Its metal burned against my skin. Would I be able to do it? I would have to sneak into the sanctuary at night, when everyone was sound asleep. I would have to venture to Daya's quarters without being seen. I would have to slit her throat in her sleep.

It's not as if it would be the first time I had ever done that to somebody. If anything, I couldn't be entirely sure that that would be the last of it. As always, there was no room for hesitation.

Already, though, I could feel my heart hammering in my chest at the thought of bringing a dagger to the throat of the woman who had brought me up.

Forget it. Forget her. She ruined me.

So now it was my turn to ruin her.