08⎜The Rain

I stared up at the bare ceiling above me, my eyelids threatening to close, though not daring to do so. It wasn't that I was necessarily tired, but more that the conditions for sleep were perfect. I had endured a full day of classes, and as I was walking back to my dorm from my last class, it began to rain. Well, "rain" was putting it lightly. It was pouring buckets and buckets upon buckets of water outside. Lightning flashed every few minutes and the clouds boomed, creating the ideal makings for a thunderstorm.

           Because I didn't really feel like getting sopped in water, I figured that my best bet was to go inside. Unfortunately, I wasn't exactly in sprinting distance to my dorm building, so went to the closest one that I saw, hoping that it would suffice. Fortunately, the dorm building that I happened to duck into was that of two girls with whom I had built somewhat of a connection. I had somehow remembered their dorm number and went to it, praying that they wouldn't think I was being intrusive or weird to randomly pop up. Lucky for me, they let me in without an ounce of hesitation, and there happened to be two others of the male gender crashing in the room for refuge from the storm, as well, in addition to yet another girl.

           It was a bit cramped in the small room that wasn't quite built for six people, but it somehow worked out just fine. Seth and Noa were both comfortably sitting on Noa's bed, Ari had opted for the chair on Kay's side of the room, Houston took Noa's chair, and then there were Kay and me. I had claimed Kay's bed pretty shortly after entering the room, tired from the day's events, and just dropped down on my back, not even minding how thin the mattress was. Kay then proceeded to sit down on my legs, her back perpendicular to the wall that bordered the long side of the bed. Everyone was happy. Well, as happy as one could be, trapped inside while the outside was drenched in liquid precipitation.

           "This is so boring, y'all!" Kay complained, crossing her arms across her chest.

           "It's not 'boring'—it's raining," Noa corrected, leaning her head against the shoulder of my roommate, who just so happened to also be her boyfriend.

           "I hate the rain," Kay expressed. "The only good thing about it is that I look really cute in my boots and jacket."

           "That's my favorite part about the rain," Houston said from across the room, grinning at the blonde girl.

           "I like the rain," Ari stated simply from her curled up spot on the chair. Like when I had first seen her at Houston's barbeque, she had bent her knees up to her chin, her arms securely hugging her legs. An earphone was in, the matching one dangling vertically in slow revolutions.

           "Why?" I found myself asking, my voice hoarser than intended.

           And with that voice of hers that complemented the weather so well, she responded. "Because it's calm, gray, and new. After it rains, everything feels new and fresh. Also, I like the feeling of being inside and secure while turmoil occurs outside. It's nice," she paused, the room a still silence, waiting for her to continue. I had noticed that a lot when Ari spoke. Everyone listened. She was always serious and sincere in what she was saying, and there was never a time that anyone disregarded her words. People cared...or pretended to.

           When Ari didn't say anything after a while, Kay pursued a question that made sense coming from such a jovial person as she. "But how can you like something that's just so...so...so sad?" Kay asked her friend, her words sounding happier than they were intended with the addition of her accent. Everything that Kay said always sounded happy.

           "It is sad weather," Ari agreed, "but it's a good sad. It's a cleansing sad that isn't from some form of grief or anger or loss—it's just sad, with no other emotion fueling it." Unlike the emotion of the rain, Ari didn't appear to be sad as she expressed herself. She was just being honest and telling how she felt about the particular topic. "Tom hated the rain. He always got scared of the thunder when we were younger. My mom loved it, though. She used to say that without rain, there was no life, which I guess was true, considering the ecosystem and all that stuff. She liked it—just like me."

           Reticence followed the somber-tinted anecdote that I didn't fully comprehend. The only noise that could be heard was the loud drizzling of the rain. A streak of lightning colored the sky for a split second, followed by the boom of noise seconds later. I allowed my eyes to shut, but didn't give the same permission to my brain. Nobody said anything for a long while, and the lack of speech was nice while it lasted. It was good that someone spoke, though, for if they hadn't, I probably would've fallen asleep.

           "Let's play a game," Noa suggested, my eyes jolting back open at the sound of her vibrantly energetic voice.

           "Like, a board game—Monopoly or somethin'?" Kay asked.

           "That would require a physical game set. So unless you happened to pack a box with a game in it before you came here, then I was thinking something else," Noa said, a slight hint of aggravation peppered into her words, the tension palpable in the air between the two roommates.

           "Like what?" Houston went on to question further.

           "Truth or Dare, Never Have I Ever, Spin the Bottle, Best Day Worst Day—I don't know. A verbal game that doesn't involve me moving," Noa said with a sigh.

           "Aw! Noa wants to bond! That's so cute!" Seth cooed in a jeering manner. Surprisingly, he had been relatively quiet for the majority of the time, which was odd for Seth, because he liked to talk. A lot.

           "Seth, shut up," Noa instructed, flicking her boyfriend on the side of the head.

           "Well, considering that everyone is dating someone else—except for Ari and Eric, Spin the Bottle isn't exactly the best game in the world to play," Kay articulated logically. "Also, Truth or Dare is for, like, twelve year olds. And it's boring."

           "So that leaves Never Have I Ever and Best Day Worst Day," Noa stated with a yawn.

           "Do y'all have alcohol in the room?" Houston piped up, in the hope to reach a faster verdict.

           "Babe, why in Hell's name would we have alcohol in the room?" Kay scoffed with a roll of her eyes.

           "We did have two bottles of vodka, but I finished them off a few nights ago," Noa shared. "They were great."

           "It wouldn't have mattered even if you did have alcohol," Seth said. "Eric doesn't drink." And obviously, my name had to be mixed into the conversation. Great.

           "Yeah, what is that about, Eric?" Houston laughed. "I still don't believe it."

           "I just don't drink," I said honestly.

           "But why don't you drink?" he pressed, wanting to know the inexistent rationalization behind it. "What's the reason?"

           "There is none," I said. "Sometimes you don't need a reason to do something."

           He shook his head a few times, densely saying, "I don't get that."

           "I do," Ari replied in response, "It makes a lot of sense, actually."

           "Wait..." Kay muttered, the attention in the room shifting back over to her, "why would alcohol matter?"

           "Because one of the games listed was Never Have I Ever, and that tends to involve alcohol," Seth expertly explained, his rhythm slow and demeaning, as if he was talking to someone lesser than him—which in his mind, he probably was. Kay and Seth didn't exactly seem to be the best duo. But then again, neither did Kay and Ari, and they were somehow best friends.

           "Oh," Kay mumbled, her body moving a considerable amount. She removed herself from my legs and climbed off of the bed, strolling over to Houston. In a delicate fashion only accomplishable by Kay Rodgers, she planted herself on his lap, and then wrapped his arms around her waist, her hands resting on his.

           "So then I guess that leaves Best Day Worst Day," Noa assessed, the deduction seeming like a logical one, for all the other possibilities had been ruled out.

           "How do you play?" Houston questioned.

           "Seriously?" Noa snorted.

           "Seriously," Houston said.

           Noa let out a sigh, probably annoyed that not everyone knew how to play her game. I would've spoken up, expressing how I, too, had no idea what the game was, but that would've required more speaking from me, and I wasn't exactly in a loquacious mood. "Just like the name implies—you share your best day and your worst day," the redhead explained.

           "Best day and worst day of what?" Kay elongated her boyfriend's question even further.

           "Of your life," Seth said so that Noa didn't have to.

           "Oh!" both Kay and Houston said simultaneously, an essence of understanding washing over the two of them.

           "So, is that it? Just tell the best day of your life and the worst?" I inquired, wanting to know the point and rules of the alleged "game."

           "Yeah," Seth nodded, "It's not, like, a winning or losing game—at least this version isn't. Just a time-passer, I guess."

           "Here, I'll go first," said Noa, who was situated between the back corner of her side of the room and Seth. "My best day was probably when I splatter painted my room at home with Seth. The sun was shining and it was the middle of winter. The entire room was empty, except for a few tarps on the ground. We spent the whole day splattering neon paint everywhere. It was a lot of fun." By the end of Noa's tale, she retained a large grin at the memory, and Seth was smiling, too. "And my first day of high school was probably my worst day. It was overwhelming, there were a lot of people, and it just felt like middle school, but on a larger scale. Oh, and I met Seth—so that sucked. It was just a really bad day."

           "How did meeting me 'suck'?" Seth demanded, pushing Noa off of his shoulder, so that she had to sit upright.

           "You're kidding, right?" Noa snorted back, just shaking her head back and forth. "Your turn, babe."

           "My best day and worst day are the same, actually," Seth began by saying.

           I discreetly glanced over to Ari, wondering if she was actually still listening, or if she had resorted to zoning out completely and ignoring everyone but her music. From the looks of it, she was paying attention—her eyes fixed on Seth in a concentrated manner, but for all I knew, she could've been completely spacing out and having an inner monologue about the evolutions of elephants. Nonetheless, she appeared on the exterior to care enough about what Seth was verbalizing.

           "The day I got denied to MIT was the worst day of my life, because I got denied to MIT," Seth said. "MIT was my dream school since before I can remember, and I got declined. It was terrible and I didn't know how I would be able to go on afterwards. Then I called Noa, and she said that she got accepted to MIT, which made it even worse," he stopped speaking for a brief moment, exhaling some air. "Now, it was the best day of my life, because I also found out that I was accepted to Stanford on that day, and that Noa got accepted to Stanford, also. At one moment, it was the worst day ever, and then the next, everything was okay and going to work out."

           "I still can't believe that you didn't get into MIT," Noa muttered.

           "Uh...what's MIT?" Kay inquired sheepishly, a light pink color dusting her cheeks—and not from her makeup.

           "Massachusetts Institute of Technology," Ari answered before Noa or Seth had the chance to.

           "It's, like, the best science and math school ever," Seth said passionately with a nod from Noa backing up his claim.

           "Right...my turn!" Kay asserted, shifting gears and implying that she had figured out the rhythm and restrictions of the game. "Okay, so my best day was when Houston first told me that he loved me—it was just so sweet and just so wonderful!" Noa rolled her eyes at the unrequired words that Kay threw in, not being subtle about the action at all. "And my worst day was when Houston left for college while I was still stuck back at home. I was nervous that he would break up with me or that his plane would crash on the way over. It was just a really bad day."

           "Sorry 'bout that, baby," Houston said, planting a light kiss on the top of her head in such a way that practically oozed sweetness. PDA had never been my favorite thing to observe, and though that did apply to PDA between Houston and Kay, it was just slightly more tolerable to view with them than with strangers. They were a good couple, and just like Kay's voice, they radiated sugary pleasantness.

           "It's not somethin' you need to be apologizin' for, Walker," Kay said, leaning even further back into the embrace of his arms. "What you can do, babe, is share your best day and your worst day."

           "Well, my best day is easy," Houston said with a grin, "it was when Kay agreed to be my girlfriend."

           "Oh, shut up!" Kay said, playfully hitting him on the head.

           "I'm serious, babe," he laughed. "That was the best day for me. I wasn't sure if you were going to say yes, and then you did and my life changed. I love you, Kay Rodgers."

           "I love you too, Houston Walker," Kay returned as the standard exchange called for. She pecked him on the lips, and Noa made a gagging noise, pretty much ruining the moment.

           "And your worst day?" Seth prompted, hoping to speed the mushiness along as fast as possible.

           "Same as Kay's," Houston said, resting his chin on the space between Kay's neck and shoulder. "The day that I had to leave home. It was awful and harder than anything that I had ever done before."

           There was a short pause consumed by the rain between Houston's turn and what was next spoken by Noa. It was raining outside, and the rain definitely wanted everyone to know that it was raining outside. "Okay, Ari, your turn," Noa said, somehow able to be louder than the rain.

           "I'm actually going to pass," Ari said quietly, though she hadn't intended to be so soft. She was talking at her normal volume, though the rain blended with her voice caused an almost muting effect.

           "You can't do that! We all just went, so now it's your turn," Noa persistently stated.

           "It's fine," Kay said firmly in a decisive tone I had never heard from her before, "she doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to."

           Noa began to object, but I decided to stand up, not needing any conflict. "Here," I began before Noa could say anything else, "I'll go."

           "Great!" Kay said enthusiastically, clearly being in favor of the idea.

           "Whatever," Noa sighed, thankfully not fully expressing her viewpoint on the matter.

           Kay and Houston were looking straight at me, waiting for words to form in my mouth and exit into the world. Noa was also intently staring at me, and Seth was glancing back and forth from me to the cellular device in his hands, on which he happened to be tapping away. The only one who wasn't watching me was Ari—she was gazing at the rain, watching the droplets collect on the window and flow by. A bolt of lightning flashed through the sky, leaking in through the pain of clear glass with beads of water accumulating on it. And that was my cue to start talking.

           "I don't actually have a 'Best Day' and a 'Worst Day,' because I'm only eighteen, still have the rest of my life ahead of me, and don't know whether or not I've encountered my 'Best Day' and 'Worst Day' yet," I said, earning an eye roll from Noa and a reassuring grin from Kay. I took the two small gestures as indications to continue, so did just that. "I was in fourth grade, and was playing a town football game. We lost by a lot," I cracked a smile at that, recalling just how terrible the actual game had been. "At the very end of the game, instead of telling me that I sucked—the truth, my dad told me that as long as I had fun and tried my hardest, he was proud of me. It just made me really happy that he would say that. And then we went out for ice cream. It was a good day. It wasn't my Best Day, but it was good."

           "That's so sweet!" Kay commented, tucking a strand of her light hair behind her ear.

           I nodded, shifting my position completely, so that I was no longer lying prone on the pink bed, but rather sitting upright with my legs daggling off the side, and my feet planted firmly on the ground. Placing my hands on my uncovered knees—because I had been an idiot and had decided to wear shorts on a day that possessed the weather prediction of rain, rain, and more rain—and bit the edge of my lip, contemplating how to continue.

           Overall, I had had a pretty great life. There weren't that many bad days in my memory, though there were some. Not a lot, but some. There were two distinct times that stood out, one being a minor point in my life that had been a tragic day, filled with sorrow and grief, though not that much sorrow and grief. The other one was more appropriate, but I didn't really feel like reliving it again. It wasn't worth going back to that place. Thus, I opted for the easier tale to tell and told it.

           "I was about six when my very first and last goldfish, Brady, died. It ended up getting flushed down the toilet and it was probably one of the only times I can remember actually crying. It was a pretty bad day. Not my worst, but bad," I said, aware of how sucky the story was. Everyone else had shared about big decisions revolving around their future and love, while I elected the death of my goldfish. Not exactly a winner of an anecdote, but it didn't need to be.

           "You named your goldfish 'Brady'?" Houston said in disbelief, his mouth gaping in incredulity.

           "Yeah," I nodded.

           "You are from New York, right?" he questioned.

           "Yeah."

           "So why in the world, would you name your goldfish after a Boston quarterback?" he demanded as I just laughed.

           "Firstly, he's a New England quarterback—not just Boston. Secondly, it doesn't matter what team he plays for—he just happens to be one of my past idols and an amazing quarterback," I shared, surprised that that was what Houston took from my story. Of all the things, he wanted to focus on the fact that I named my goldfish at age six after a rival's quarterback, Tom Brady. I could've gone more in depth into my mentality and rationalization, though I didn't really think it was necessary. I was six. I liked how Tom Brady threw a football. I wanted to be him. The end.

           "I have a great idea," Seth proclaimed with a hint of sarcasm laced in, "let's not talk about football right now, shall we?"

           "That's a wonderful idea!" Kay backed up, also probably not being too fond of sport.

           I smiled, the rain pattering against the windowpane, sounding like a series of pebbles being thrown. In the room, the thick humidity was definitely discernable, making the air feel dense and moist. Everyone appeared to be relatively comfortable where they were. Well, the two girls who generally inhabited the room and their boyfriends seemed to be content enough. Ari was beginning to fidget in her chair and looked as though if she didn't go for a five mile jog she would just about combust, and I was getting bored and wanted to return to my dorm room. I had nothing against Kay and Noa's dorm—in fact, it was a perfectly nice room. Personally, I just preferred my own, for the whole aspect that, well, it was mine...and Seth's.

           Cautiously, I stood up from the thin mattress covered in pink, Kay Rogers Style, and exhaled a deep breath of air, mentally planning my departure as I placed a strap of my backpack over my shoulder. "As fun as this has been, I think I'm going to get going now," I said, walking the few feet needed over to the door, my hand having yet to stretch out and reach the handle. After a few brief byes uttered by almost everyone in the room and a quick, "Catch'ya later, dude," from Seth, I felt it an appropriate time as ever to twist the doorknob and walk out into the hallway.

           Before I had a chance to fully close the door, a headphone-less Ari was standing next to me. She closed the door. To say that I was more than confused as to why she had chosen to leave would've been an understatement. Sensing my perplexity, the girl adorned in dark skinny jeans and a hoodie that happened to be three-sizes-too-big explained her reasoning. "Being the fifth wheel is never fun," she said, and I knew exactly what she meant.

           "Neither is being the sixth wheel," I replied, and she smiled, but not fully. It wasn't a Kay smile—or even a half smile, for that matter. It looked as though she was holding herself back from fully smiling. It wasn't fake, just restricted.

           Ari didn't say anything after that, and we just walked through the long hall identical to the one in my building, while listening to the rain. We were both content with the silence, so for a while kept that it that way. I didn't speak, and neither did she. Just like when I had walked on the green with her, on that fatefully warm day of golfing last weekend, she had this underwhelming presence about her that embodied peace in so many ways, yet was tinged with some form of sorrow. It was like the rain—calm, but sad.

           "What was your Worst Day?" Ari suddenly questioned as we neared a lobby matching the one in my building.

           "I don't know if I have one yet," I said, "didn't I already say that back in the room?"

           "You did," she confirmed, "but I don't believe you."

           I stopped where I was, my feet no longer moving forward. Ari stopped, too. "Why?"

           "I just don't."

           "Okay."

           "So what was your Worst Day?"

           "I don't have one," I reiterated, continuing to speak, even as she opened her mouth to object again, "I do, however, have a Worst Day So Far."

           "And that would be?"

           I took a deep breath, wondering why I was so compelled to tell a girl whom I barely knew such a relatively large aspect of my life, but did so, nonetheless. "The day that my very first girlfriend broke up with me. That was my Worst Day So Far." Ari just nodded, not giving me any hint whatsoever as to how she felt about what I had said. I gazed at the girl before me, a million questions drifting about in my mind that related to her, though I only asked one...and a half. "Do you not have a Worst Day and a Best Day? Why did you pass?"

           "No, I have a Worst Day that's probably a billion times worse than your Worst Day, and a Best Day that's better, in my opinion, than everyone else's," she paused, only adding to my bewilderment of her, "I just didn't want to share."

           "Do you want to now?"

           The dark-haired girl turned her head as she stared at the glass door that was almost within our reach. Rain. That was all I could see. It was as if someone above was crying over something, and just couldn't stop. As she watched the rain fall down, she gave me a simple, monotone, and one-syllabled response that very clearly answered what I had asked: "Nope."