Warning! Some parts of this chapter might be triggering so read at your own risk.
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    Hazel sat in the makeshift bathroom, crying on the floor. She had just experienced another panic attack and tried to distract herself with self harm. She couldn't help herself, once she picked up the blade she couldn't put it back down. She sat in the corner of the bathroom cradling her bloody arm. Even when the panic attack had stopped she found herself still cutting her arm. She found it as an escape from her terrible situation, her missing brother, her being trapped in the Maze and almost killed by Grievers, the fear of being stuck in the Glade forever, not being albe to leave. Even though Hazel loved the Gladers, it killed her to think that she'd be stuck in Glade forever.

    With a shaky breath, Hazel placed the bloody pen knife on the floor and picked up a rag to clean her wounds. Only then did she realise how a simple smile, could hide so much pain. But her friends never noticed, which was just the way she liked it. Because she'd would rather keep it all inside and let the pain destroy her than everyone else...

-

    Hazel sat with her group of friends, laughing and trading stories by the bonfire late into the night. Newt sat next to Hazel with an arm around her affectionately, telling her jokes and making her laugh. Hazel pecked on his cheek, causing him to blush and everyone to laugh. Hazel laughed along with them as she leaned her body weight against Newt. From afar they look as though they've been friends for the longest time. But, if you look at her closely you could see that, every now a then she turns away from her group of friends.

    Her smile falters and she becomes another person for a few seconds; a sad person. A person who is broken and damaged by the world, and after a few depressing seconds, she goes back to the group. Smiling and joking around, she almost looks like she is actually happy. But if you looked at her closely, you could see how spurious her smile really is, and you could see all the pain behind that simple smile. No one had noticed how broken she really was, when all her feelings were hidden behind that smile.

    "I don't know about you guys, but I'm completely exhausted." said Newt, yawning.
    "Me too, I think I'm gonna turn in now," said Hazel, getting up. "Goodnight guys."
    As she walked away she could hear a chorus of "Good night's" coming from the boys. Hazel knew that Newt would probably come into the room an hour later, so she finally had some alone time. She collapsed onto the bathroom floor and broke down into tears. She slid the blade of the pen knife up and made three more cuts, hoping that it would stop the pain in her heart.

    "Oh Hazel, why do you continue doing this to yourself?" asked a voice in her head.
    "Get out of my shucking head!" screamed Hazel, covering her ears with her hands, dropping the blade onto the floor with a metallic clank.
    "Hazel, please I'm just trying to help." pleaded the voice.
Which caused Hazel to scream even louded and curl into a ball, crying.

    In an instant, Newt came running into the room.
    "Hazel! Where are you?!" shouted Newt, frantically looking around.
    He noticed that the bathroom's wooden doors were closed. He could hear muffled sobs coming from inside as he approached the door. He took a deep breath as he placed his hand on the handle of the door, and opened the bathroom door with ease. Newt's heart jumped into his mouth as he stepped into the bathroom. Hazel sat at the corner of the bathroom, huddled in a ball. Next to the door was a pen knife, stained with blood.

    But that wasn't the worst part, the worst past was Hazel's arms. There were roughly a dozen jagged cuts running across her arms, some of them old and some of them new. Newt stifled a sob as he took everything in, from the blood seeping out Hazel's cuts, to the bloody pen knife on the floor.
    "Oh Hazel." gasped Newt, covering his mouth in shock, tears running down his face.

    He ran towards her and hugged her, being extra careful not to touch her cuts by accident.
    "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." mumbled Hazel, as Newt rocked her back and forth.
    Her shoulders trembled as she cried in Newt's embrace. Newt could only hold on to her, that was all he could do to stop himself from breaking down.
    "Why? Why didn't you tell me?" whispered Newt, looking at my scars.
    "Because," I replied. "I can hurt myself, but I can't hurt you."

    He picked up the pen knife and placed it in Hazel's hand saying, "If you want to cut yourself, then you're going to take my arm, look me in the eyes, and cut as many times as you would cut yourself."
    "I-I couldn't h-hurt you like t-that." stuttered Hazel, dropping the pen knife. At that moment she finally understood what he meant.
    "D-Do you still l-love me even a-after you've seen m-my cuts?" asked Hazel, sniffing.
    "Hazel," said Newt wiping the tears off her face. "I don't care if you have cuts on your arms, legs, or anywhere on your body. I still love you, and I will always love you, okay?"

    Hazel touched Newt's face with her hands and brought her lips to his, kissing him.
    "Okay." replied Hazel, with her lips on Newt's lips.
    "I love you so shucking much and nothing's gonna change that." said Newt, lifting her up with her back leaning against the wall, straddling him.
    Hazel ran her hand through Newt's blond hair as she kissed him.
    "I wish I could freeze this moment right here, right now, and live in it forever." said Hazel, sighing as she pulled away for air.
    "Me too," whispered Newt as he leaned in to kiss Hazel again.

    "But we better get some rest, we have a big day tomorrow."
    "What's going on tomorrow?"
"The Box is sending up a new Greenie tomorrow." said Newt, setting Hazel down.
    "Oh. Yeah, it's gonna be a long day tomorrow. I'd better clean up."
    "Do you need any help? You look like you're about to pass out." said Newt.
    "I'll be fine," said Hazel, leaning against the wall for support. "I'll just-"
"Hazel?!" exclaimed Newt, catching her as she fell. "Hazel can you hear me?"
But his only response was Hazel's shallow breathing.
"Oh Shuck..."

-

    "Explain to me again, what exactly happened?" asked Gally, looking at the jagged cuts on Hazel's arms.
    Things were finally going well until Newt came running out of the homestead with Hazel, passed out and badly hurt in his arms. Newt, Minho and Gally had rushed Hazel to the Med Jack's hut (again for the second time this month) and had Jeff and Clint check up on her.
    "She'll be fine in the morning." assured Clint. "She just passed out from the lack of blood in her body."
    "How did we not notice this the entire time?" wondered Gally.

    "She did a great job hiding it from you guys, if Newt didn't find her when he found her, she would've probably died from blood loss." said Jeff, shaking his head.
    "Didn't you guys hear her screaming?" asked Newt, turning to face Minho and Gally.
    "No, not a sound." replied Gally, furrowing his eyebrows.
    "Yeah, I didn't hear anything either. Are you sure you didn't imagine it?" asked Minho.
    "I swear, she was screaming bloody murder." said Newt.
    "That's weird," said Minho.

    "It doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is Hazel's safety." said Gally, dismissing the subject.
    "I agree with Gally, let's forget about that for now. Hazel's alright, and that's all matters." said Newt.

-

    "Don't worry Hazel. Help is coming, you'll see your big brother soon." said the voice.
    "Who are you?" questioned Hazel in her mind.
    "I'm an old friend of your brother, my name is Teresa." said the voice.
    "What's my brother's name?" asked Hazel.
    "Thomas..."

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I hope you guys like this chapter. I still have totally no idea how to write the kissing parts XD I tried my best to explain it in a PG 13 way. Oh yeah, as you guys should've probably guessed, I'm introducing Thomas in the next chapter. I might not be able to update the next chapter tomorrow, but I'll try my best to update it by Monday.

I had to go down the scary rabbit hole of depressing quotes and songs to get inspiration to write this chapter. Who knew that if you listened to depressing songs and read/wrote depressing quotes you'd become depressed. I'm totally kidding, I knew that way before I wrote this chapter.

Did anyone notice that I made a TFIOS reference earlier? (The "Okay? Okay" part with Hazel and Newt) Hahaha, I love adding fandom crossovers and references in my Fan Fictions XD

I'm gonna stop writing now, because my battery is dying. Peace out! ✌

-Alice xx