Hadley Harper

I arrive home in suburbia in the late afternoon to the sound of excited paws thundering across the slate stone tiles as my twin Doberman guard dogs, Butch and Sundance, bound down the hallway to greet me. I push my way through the front door, embarrassed and exhausted from the day's events, only to be reminded once again by everything that awaits me inside.

All our old furniture. Our paintings and brikabrak, and I am supposed to pick through the wreckage for anything I need to pack and take with me.

The problem is, I don't want any of it.. Everything is now cursed with the haunted energy of a failed relationship

The great black hounds sit obediently at my feet, their stumped tails wagging enthusiastically as I kneel to pet their sleek black fur and coo to them in the affectionate and loving way most people would reserve for their children.

But that's exactly what they are to me, my fur-babies, I love them and had given up just about everything Tripp had asked for in order to take full custody of them in our separation. Including the house.

"Hello my beautiful boys, mommy missed you so much!" Tripp had always disliked the dogs ever since I rescued them from a downtown shelter, but that hadn't stopped him using them against me when it came to getting his money's worth. He'd said that if I wanted half of everything we'd accumulated together, then he'd take half of what I loved most. He made me choose between meaningless material possessions, or Butch and Sundance.

Of course I chose the dogs. I'm not a monster, and I can always buy more stuff.. But my boys are irreplaceable..

After administering sufficient ear scratches and kisses, I trail down the long hallway to the half empty, open plan lounge. Tripp and I had lived here together for two and a half years and now suddenly I have to vacate by the end of the month because he and his new girlfriend-- scratch that, 'fiancee' -- will soon be occupying this space together. The home we were supposed to make together will now be theirs. And so naturally, half my life is now either in boxes or already on its way being shipped back upstate to my childhood home.

God. I cannot go back there.

I would rather die, and I am not being dramatic when I say that.

Okay, maybe a little.

Still, I can imagine few fates worse than returning to the strict, regimented, 'Harold Harper' way.

My father, retired Navy General, devout hardass and all round fun-time-guy runs the tightest of ships, and growing up under his rule had been exhausting to the point of debilitating.

Truely.

I spent the better part of my teens spaced out on all kinds of happy pills due to the pressure of living up to all those things I could never possibly be.

How can anybody be expected to be perfect, let alone a child?

Yet that is exactly what was expected of me.

Even when I enlisted and enrolled to study medicine, he had been all too fast to remind me of all he had accomplished ahead of me and the connections made along the way, ensuring that I knew any success I saw wasn't my own. It was an unspoken truth, readily accepted that my efforts alone were not good enough and that my failures reflected upon the family.

So, I hadn't failed. I had succeeded and graduated top of my class.
And I had done it out of pure spite. I suppose it is simply fortuitous that I enjoyed studying more than I detested my father's attitude.

Still, do you think that was enough?

No, of course it wasn't. It never would be. And it would be years after my graduation that I would finally see that truth.

I love my father, and I am grateful that he has pushed me to become the woman I am today. Though honestly, I loathe him a little too.

But whatever Harold is, he is nothing compared to her. My mother, whose actual name is Katherine, though everybody just calls her 'Kitty'. Kitty had been a socialite all her life, the product of a wealthy hotelier and a banker's daughter. Since marrying my father she has done very little other than scrutinise me at every opportunity, climb the social ladder to dizzying heights and capitalise her likeness to sell falsely advertised beauty products for obscene amounts of money.

When I tell you Kitty Harper is vain, I mean it in the truest sense. Nothing is more important to her than appearance.

Nothing.

My thick dimpled thighs, round ass and heavy chest had been a point of contention for us since the day puberty struck me down at thirteen. Kitty would place me on diet after diet, starve me, shame me, count my calories and anything to encourage more weight loss.
She had taught me all the terrible things I did to my body in the name of thinness. She had applauded my illness.

Oh, I was sick. Deathly so. And Kitty didn't care one bit about the health risks, not so long as I was thin.

I can't go back to that house. Because I'm nothing like that anymore.
I can't risk regression. And nobody makes me feel more insecure than Kitty does.

Sinking onto the soft leather sofa, I take the tacky, silver and gold glitter covered invitation from my bag and begin to turn it over, reading every detail again and again.

The Engagement Dinner will be held at the Evans family home, Upstate, of course, a fortnight from today.

How could he do this to me?

He couldn't even wait for the corpse of our relationship to cool before piling onto my humiliation like this. He couldn't even pause to give me a grace period to get my life together. Or even just a freaking phone call to warn me would have been nice.

Jackass.

Tripp is nothing if not consistently inconsiderate.

With fury filled trembles, I dig my phone from my designer leather hand-bag, dialling Tripp's number before holding the receiver to my ear.
After four rings, his voicemail answers telling me to leave a message after the tone.

I want to scream and yell. I want to say 'fuck you Tripp, you shallow, self absorbed, low-down-no-good-cheating-bastard'. But I don't say that at all. Those are not words that should ever come out of a proper lady's mouth.

Then again, neither are the ones that actually do manage to escape me.
"Oh, uhm. Hey Tripp, it's me. H-Hadley."

Obviously.
What is wrong with me?!

I cringe at the pathetic whine to my own voice. It's not a great start, I admit. "I just wanted to-- to RSVP to the invitation you sent, and let you know that– uh– of course I'll be there, and I'm so happy for you both."

No!

My mouth is moving but I'm not in control. Autopilot has me and it's driving me straight off a cliff. I need to hang up. I need to end this slow motion train-wreck.

So, I lie..

"Anyways. Oh, uhm, also, I found a place and I'll be out of the house by the month's end, so you don't have to worry about me. Uhm-- That's it. I-- Uh, Bye."

As I hang up my stomach sinks.
That was absolutely tragic. Even for me.

Sundance wanders over to me, dropping his warm snout to my knee, looking up at me with expectant big brown eyes.

I reach out to pet his silky black fur.
"Do you think I'm pathetic, Sunny-Boy?" I ask and his head cocks curiously to one side.
I take it as a sign he agrees. "Yeah. Me too, buddy, me too."

My phone dings and I unlock the screen to see a message from Frenchy, four words. Short and simple.

'Call them, Doctor's orders.'

I look over at Butch who is chewing on a miniature tyre toy filled with treats, oblivious to my conflicted inner turmoil.. "Should I call them, Butch? Should I start a scandal?"
The great doberman is way too engrossed in his playtime, only snorting a disinterested snuffle in response. "Thanks, you're so helpful." I scoff, entertained by how utterly adorable he is.

Leaning back against the cushions, the ones I had picked out that now belong to Tina, I lose myself to thoughts about Duke and Lincoln. The two mysterious alpha-men who had me sweating in the cafe bathroom long after they'd left.

Who are they?

I've never been anywhere close to men so dangerously magnetic.
And I've certainly never dated soldiers before.
It's always been something I avoided as a rule, since they tend to be a little, for lack of a better word, rigid..

But something about the devilish duo did appeal to me, I can't deny it.
I want to know more about them and the date they had proposed we go on together. All three of us.

Could I actually date polyamorously?

It's so far outside the vanilla-ice-cream-box I have always placed myself in that it's almost impossible to picture.

Almost, but not quite.

Because I can picture it. I can picture two sets of hands, their hands, stripping away my clothes to expose my softest flesh. I can imagine two sets of lips, their lips, kissing and licking that softness. And I can most definitely envisage the heat of two thick, hard cocks, their cocks, filling me completely, satisfying me in new ways.

Sundance whines when the hand that had been petting him falls limp due to my distracted daydreaming, snapping me back to reality.

I fiddle around with my cell, bringing up The number Duke had entered into my phone.

My reputation is already ruined.
My life has already been torn apart.

So why shouldn't I do what I want for once?

Because that would be impulsive and stupid, Hadley!

But one teeny tiny test message couldn't hurt.. Right?

I quickly type out the message;
You both talk a pretty good game. So I'll give you one chance to convince me that I'm not entirely insane for considering going out with you.

Then I hit send before I can second guess myself, immediately feeling nauseous with anticipation.. It is barely thirty seconds before the reply buzzes my cell in my hand..

I swipe the screen to read it:
We don't have to do that. You're going to come anyway.

Oh my..

My entire body flushes fever hot at the confident promise and cock-sure humour and I remember just how out of my depth I'd been around the two of them and their irresistible charms..

But it is a line I am not quite ready to cross.. Not with all this hazy lust clouding my head..

Deciding that I need to sleep on my decision in order not to act too rashly, I set my phone aside and reach for the stack of mail to distract myself..  Flinging Tripp's tacky save-the-date aside, I set my eye on a brown paper envelope with no address or stamp..

How strange...

As I unfold the crinkled pages within, my eyes scan the smudged ink words scribbled haphazardly in a messy scrawl across the paper..

My dearest Hadley,

My obsession with you began innocently enough, our eyes met and I couldn't help but be drawn to you. You saw me in a way nobody else has ever known, and each day since that first look, I have watched you from afar, memorising every detail of your existence, hoping you would notice me.

But now, I cannot simply wait any longer. I have to be closer to you, to feel your presence, to know that you are real. I have followed you home, watched you through your windows as you sleep, and even stolen a few keepsakes to connect us. Every time I am near you, I feel a sense of euphoria, as if I am finally where I belong.

I know you may be frightened by my actions, but please understand that I only have the purest of intentions. I want to protect you, to make you happy, to be the one who knows you better than anyone else. I have studied your every move, your every thought, and I am confident I can be everything you have ever wanted.

You may notice some small changes in your daily routine, as I work up the courage to come to you, but do not be alarmed. It is simply my way of leaving my mark on your life and showing you my love. I want you to know that I am always watching, always thinking of you, always planning our future together.

I know you may not feel the same way about me yet, but I am sure that with time, you will come to love me as I love you. I will be patient, I will be persistent, and I will never give up on us. You are the light in my darkness, the reason for my existence, and I will do anything to make you mine.

So, my dear, do not be afraid. Embrace my love and let us begin our journey together. You will never be alone again, for I will always be by your side, watching, waiting, and loving you from afar.

Faithfully forever,
Your devoted Soldier.

I feel sick..

Surely this letter must be a joke?
Some kind of demented prank?

My insides squirm, knots of uneasy nausea twisting around my intestines as I crumple the pages in my hands, unable to stomach the sight of the deluded love note again..

★★★

A note from the author...

How are you enjoying the story so far besties?
I'd love to hear from you all in the comments, so don't be shy! Let me know what you think of the characters, who is your favourite and why?

Love, LB x