Logan Nash

A shimmering sunrise peaks through the cracks in the curtains and a sliver of light paints a luminous stripe across Shelby's angelic, sleeping features.. In the early morning glow she is peaceful, delicate and doll-like, so much so that I can't bring myself to rouse or disturb her.. Shifting onto my side to gain a better view of her slumbering sweetness, I angle my shoulder to shield her face from the glare.. Careful and with a soft touch, I reach out to brush the messy blonde strands from her cheek, appreciating every angle and contour of her lovely face..

Fuck.. She is so beautiful it's almost painful to look at her.. But I can't look away either..
I'm mesmerised..

Last night I had seen a different side to Shelby.. Not a calloused, unfeeling facade or an air of superiority, not indifference or disinterest.. She had been real.. Vulnerable and honest.. I had learned just how alike we are, more so than I ever dared to imagine.. And for that, my empathy had expanded in my chest, reaching proportions I could no longer ignore..

I care about her in a way I have never cared about anyone before.. More than that, I want to protect her.. I want to make sure she never feels afraid or alone again.. I want to be her refuge in the storm.. I want to be the place where she feels safe.. I want to be the man she can trust..

"Mmh-" Shelby hums a soft moan of comfort before nuzzling in closer with her dainty hand splayed across my chest.. Slowly she cracks open her deep sea eyes to smile at me through bleary blinks.. "Morning.."

"Good morning, Barbie.." I grin, unable to wipe the stupid smile from my face as I inhale a breath of her sugary-citurus scent.. "You sleep alright?"

"Mmh, I can't remember the last time I slept so well.." She giggles, pushing up against the pillows to rub at her eyes.. "You?"

"Yeah.. Like a baby.." I didn't sleep a wink, but this time it wasn't the nightmares that kept me awake, it was the knowledge that a woman, well beyond my league, was in my bed..

Rolling onto her back she stretches out like a cat, naked between my sheets as I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the mattress.. "Have you got any plans for the day, Beauty Queen?"

She yawns and nods all at once.. "I'm supposed to go into the office for a briefing this afternoon.. So I thought I might do a little more research on Blackstar before that.."

"Then you should spend the morning herr.. Maybe have some coffee, make breakfast.. You could use my computer for your research.." I fight to keep my gaze from dipping down to where the taupe sheets cling to her curves as she states back at me, wide eyed and surprised..

"Really? You'd let me use your computer?"

"Course- Whatever you need.." I chuckle as I move to slide out of bed, but she reaches out to squeeze at my shoulder and keep me in place.. "Make yourself comfortable.."

"Wait-" Shelby whispers.. "Can't you stay with me?"

Goddamn.. What I wouldn't give to spend the day in bed with the Army Barbie..

Unfortunately obligation has other plans for me..

"I wish I could, but I gotta take Dallas to her dance class before school-" As if I'd summoned the princess of punctuality herself, there is a sudden jiggling of the doorknob and a knock at the door as the irate voice of a tired teen grumbles from the hallway..

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK

"C'mon Lo-Lo, get up already! I'm gonna be late!" She jiggles to door knob again, impatient and ignorant.. "Hey! Why is this locked? You never lock your door! Are you okay in there?!"

Shelby's eyes dart towards the door with worry before she ducks embarrassedly beneath the covers to hide.. I stifle a chuckle, calling out to my niece before I begin to dig Shelby out from beneath the bundled blankets.."Yeah, Tex, I'll be right out!"

I peel the sheets away to find The Beauty Queen flushed and fidgety as the sound of footsteps retreat down the hall.. "Oh God, she's totally going to catch us!" Shelby squirms, wriggling with ticklish giggles as I wrap her in my arms..

Leaning down with a murmur I press my lips into the crook of her neck, grazing kisses against her soft skin.. "She already knows.."

"What?-- How?" Shelby stutters as she flings her arms around my neck, allowing me to pull her upright and into my lap..

"She's a smart girl-" I shrug before adding with a grin as my hands glide over supple curves and rounded mounds.. "And she found that pretty little lace thing you left here when you snuck out on me.."

"Oh fuuuuck.." Shelby groans, burying her face in her hands..

"Naw, it's not so bad.." I pry her fingers from her cheeks and she peeks up at me..

"It's not that I think it's bad, Logan-" She explains.. "I just don't want her getting her hopes up is all.."

"What'd'ya mean? What hopes?" My head cocks to one side as she lets out a sigh..

"You know- about us.." Shelby shakes her head, her messy blonde mane cascading over her bare shoulders.. "I don't want her thinking this is something that it isn't.."

"Aw yeah?" I scoff.. "What isn't it?"

"I dunno, Lone Star.." She breathes in a faint whisper of trepidation as she shifts to slide out of my grasp, settling on the side of the mattress.. "Don't make me say it.."

"Why not?" The airy enjoyment quickly evaporates, leaving a bitterness burning in the back of my throat at her withdrawal.. I stand, pacing over to the wardrobe to retrieve a pair of pressed navy suit pants.. Stepping Into the silk-cotton blend with my back to the beautiful woman so that she can't see the hurt that carves through me.. "If the truth is that I don't mean nothing to you, Shelby, then you should be able to say so-"

"No.." She follows me, wrapped in a taupe toga of flowing sheets as she reaches for my hand, turning me back towards her.. Interlacing her slender fingers with mine she pleads.. "You do mean something to me, Logan.. Please, I don't want to fight anymore.."

My hand circles around the small of her back to sweep her closer, forcing her to face our reality.. Somehow we have reached a crossroads where our lives intersect and it is here we must decide the road ahead.. "So then, what am I to you, Shelby?"

I don't know where Shelby is heading, but I am sure of one thing; wherever she goes I want to go with her..

She chews her bottom lip, her gaze roaming over my passive features, desperate to find some kind of clue as to what I am thinking.. But I have already given her more than she has given me, she knows secrets I swore to carry to my grave and the sway she holds over me is undeniably obviously..
No, it's her turn to show her cards..

"You're- irreplaceable.." Shelby states after a thoughtful pause, a tremor to her timid tone..

"Al'right.." I puzzle for a moment, struck by the strange and cryptic compliment, trying to decipher its coded meaning.. I know that there are worse things she could have said.. But there are others I would have preferred..

"Logan, I know we made a deal, but- I don't want your help anymore, not if it means you're never going to trust the reason I'm here.." Stroking her hand over my shoulder she coaxes me closer.. "I'll still coach Dallas and see her through to the end of the Miss Darkport pageant, but if you want to walk away from the Blackstar and Specter jobs, then I can accept that.. I just- don't want you to walk away from me.."

A lump forms in my throat as the sweet sentiments of her request touches the cold chasm that had once existed in my chest, now a bubbling pit of molten magma.. Twisting a lock of her summery soft strands around my finger I grin.. "Butterfly, I ain't going nowhere.."

.....

Hours after dropping Dallas off at her dance class and checking in at the Alpha Tech offices,, I pull up at the uptown highrise, branded with a black backlit letter 'S', where step out onto the sidewalk to feed the parking metre.. I've barely slipped two nickels into the rickety old machine when a smokey smooth voice greets me from behind..

"Logan, Darling, you're late.." Spinning in my shiny leather shoes I come face to face with the formidable force of Iris Santiago and her striking feline eyes.. Unreadable and impossibly polished in a crisp white turtleneck and trousers, she smiles at me with sharp intention.. "That's not at all like you.. Are you quite alright?"

Glancing down at my watch I see that I am in actuality fifteen minutes late as a result of my reluctance to leave Shelby earlier this morning.. "Better late than never I suppose, eh Rissy?"

"Indeed.." Iris chides with a narrowed gaze before motioning for me to follow her towards the building's entrance.. "So tell me, what is it that could possibly distract a reputable man such as yourself, when he has such an important task at hand that is, as of yet, incomplete.."

Ah, there she goes.. It hasn't even been a whole minute and she is already acting as though I am one of her drones..
Iris just never seems to quit..

"Reputable, huh?' I chuckle, ignoring her patronizing tone and barbed inflection by not giving her the satisfaction of an answer.. "Rissy, I dunno where you're getting your information from these days, but you might wanna fact check the source.."

"Darling, you always forget that I know you too well for these silly games.." She stops at the door , waiting expectantly as I step forward to pull it open for her, allowing her to breeze by my into the lobby.. "I know all about the good deeds you do, Logan.. The leaks, those government secrets you provide to the media and the cartel shipment tip offs you slip to law enforcement.. I know about your endeavour to dismantle child pornography servers all over the world and the hundreds of women who have sought your help to take down their pictures from revenge sites.. I know that every dime you pilfer from corrupted companies is donated to charity, with impeccable irony of course.. Stealing from a weapons manufacturer and then giving the profits to Veterans of war.. I must admit, it is all rather poetic.. Your resume really is quite impressive, dear.."

Damn.. The woman knows her shit..
Clearly she has been following my moves and I'm somewhat impressed by her knowledge.. Her perception however, is a little skewed..

"Naw, that's not me, Mam'.." I just shrug my shoulders as if I haven't got a clue what she is talking about, because I'm not stupid enough to admit to legions of criminal activity.. Iris definitely doesn't need any more ammunition to hold against me in the future.. I know exactly what she's capable of and how she would use it.. "You must have confused me with some other guy.."

Yeah okay, I did all those things she speaks of under the alias 'Z3r0', but I've also done my fair share of shitty things when I was younger under a whole host of screen-names that I am less proud of.. Before I inherited Dixie's daughter and her vendetta against Blackstar, I had terrorized and trolled more than my fair share of innocent people.. And even now, I make a living selling exploit kits to some less than savory characters.. Wearing the white hat every now and then hardly balances the scales in my view.. I'm not an evil guy, sure.. But I'm not a good guy either..

I live in the grey, in the places where most people try their damnedest to avoid..

Reaching out, Iris straightens my pastel blue tie, fussing over the knot with motherly patience and I find myself bending dutifully to accommodate her.. "My mistake, Darling.. But at a distance, he really does look an awful lot like you.."

In that very moment, as she beams up at me with her vacant smile and indeterminate eyes, I realise exactly why I always felt such a strong sense of contempt for her.. It isn't because Iris is wicked or cruel.. It isn't because she is shady or untrustworthy..

It is because she holds that very same power over people that The Prophet had all those years ago.. That same energy the Messiah had eminated now radiates from the lioness before me.. She is charismatic and calculated.. She is in control and that forces me to confront the notion that I am not..

Despite all of my resistance and my fundamental opposition to her cause, somehow I stand here before her, just where she knew I'd always be.. Subordinate..