chapter 13

The quick announcement Adams called us for, was nothing but a reminder to be up bright and early. We didn't have an activity planned since it was Wednesday and he had decided to give us a break until before breaking out into activities again.

Afterwards, I got Mikaela to take a walk with me around the grounds and I told her what happened. Not all of it. But most of it. She flipped. She didn't over exaggerate and squeal. Instead, she was more surprised and uneasy with the news that I had actually done something that could lead to having sex with Harry. If it ever happens.

I kept telling her how much I feared going back to the cabin only for him to pretend nothing happened, whatsoever.

I didn't care whether or not he did but I just didn't want the awkward atmosphere that was bound to approach. I can easily brush it off, sure, that is if we didn't see each other often.

However, I'm stuck with him for another five days, expected to be by his side for the entirety of the trip; and though I'm capable of hiding my feelings towards our recent shenanigans, I wasn't quite sure nor wanted to know how Harry would come up about it.

"It's common for you to feel that way, Ray." She shrugged, kicking the dirt beneath her feet. "Especially because it's Harry and it wouldn't be the first time he's done something like that."

"That makes me feel better," I roll my eyes.

"But at least you know what's coming." She says, and I raise a brow, questioning what she meant. "I'm saying, if he brushes it off pretending it didn't happen, then you should do the same. It shouldn't be hard. You did it with Jason, shouldn't be too hard with Harry."

So I agreed. And so I went back to my cabin, expecting the worst but to my surprise and relief, I had found Harry already sound asleep on his bunk.

So I went to bed; and as tired as I was, it took me hours before I was finally able to close my eyes and fall asleep with a clear conscience.

》

The next morning, I feared the awkward atmosphere that was preparing itself to commence just moments after getting up. But to my surprise, yet again, it was all too casual. Don't get me wrong, I didn't act as if aiming for it to get awkward nor did I try to make it awkward.

So, without thinking too much about what Harry could be thinking about, I jumped down from the bed, grabbing my things and yawning before walking out the cabin towards the bathroom facilities.

When I got back, Harry was gone yet came in just moments after I had. He simply nodded to me, his usual hello, I guess you can call it, and then went on in conversation as if nothing.

Which I kindly but silently appreciated, mentally thanking God that was his approach.

We only spoke briefly about the activity we'd be doing today. Harry said he'd passed by the syllabus for the week posted up by the main office board to grab one only for them to be completely gone, aside from the one posted up.

Our first event of the week; canoeing.

I was hoping this would be included during the trip, and I was looking forward to finding out so when Harry told me that's what we had to do first, I was excited.

Apparently Adams wanted us to have a fun assignment before we got into the "difficult" stuff.

I'm not sure entirely what he meant, nor what he planned to kill us with, but that was the last thing in mind.

I dressed as casually as I could muster up; denim shorts resting snug on my hips, white t-shirt tucked in (or at least barely) and old beat up sneakers that I didn't mind ruining even more so than they already had been.

My hair was pulled back in a low bun. I didn't bother pulling it up into a high ponytail nor letting it flow freely so it could cover my face while canoeing in the open space of the lake where the wind was surely going to be extra breezy. Especially with the weather being the windiest it's ever been lately.

After being called out to where the shoreline of the lake was, we all stood there in a large group as we awaited the rules for our assignment. I thought it was silly, honestly. Rules? For canoeing?

"It's simple, really," Mr. Adams went on after going on and on about the trip and our assignments, what it was worth, what graded we'd be getting and whatnot. I didn't listen much. Especially since it was the same thing he's repeated from the minute we stepped foot onto the campgrounds. "I'm sure you're all aware how to use the paddles. However, I'd like to inform you guys that this grade isn't based on how far you get through the lake. It's not a race, there's no competition, nothing of those sorts."

"Then what are we canoeing for?" Harry asks, just as puzzled as the rest of us were.

"It's based on teamwork, Mr. Styles. This first assignment was chosen as a test."

"I thought you said it was for fun before we get into the difficult ones," Another classmate of ours asks.

"Let me finish," Adams holds up a finger in hopes to keep us silent, "I do expect you all to have fun whilst canoeing. However, I also expect you to get to know your partner better. Learn about the person you will spend an entire week with. You can't expect to have fun with a total stranger, do you?"

It was a weird concept really. Just based on what he said, I assume he chose two complete opposites as partners in order to get to know each other better. But it still didn't add up to me. Why was making a new friend worth a grade? As soon as we graduate, I'm most likely never going to see any of these people again.

I mean, that's not being negative, it's being realistic. Mikaela and I might not stay friends forever, half of these people might move to other parts of the world, all these faces will practically become strangers, regardless.

As said, it's a stupid concept and not worth a grade. I mean, I want the grade. But for what it's worth? It's silly.

I wondered if it would already count if me and Harry were already friends at one point.

With a raised hand, Mikaela gets called on, "So we're basically on a play date."

"What ever made you think this was a play date, Ms. Murrington?"

"Because you claim to wanting us to get to know our partners better, basically become friends. But at what cost? I get that it's for a grade but why is it based upon, what? Making friendship bracelets?" She questions, the same thing rattling my mind, as well.

"Ms. Murring-"

"We're all going to become strangers to each other, anyway," She crosses her arms, our classmates silent, some chuckling and others look surprised by her words; probably just now realising how true it was.

"I get it, Mikaela, I do. Yes, you all might never see each other again in the future. But nows the chance to know your classmates," He says, basically the same thing, yet again. But in some freakish weird way, his next words hit me. "You're all graduating together soon. Looking back, you'll realise there were some faces you never knew. Do you really want to graduate with people you hardly knew rather than make a few memories with them while you can?"

And, though I didn't care, it tugged at my heart. Not the friends forever bullshit part, but the graduating part. High school was nearing its end and I was too busy focusing on the final day rather than making a couple last few memories of high school for myself.

It was strange. No matter how much I wanted to get out of here from the second I became a freshman, as the day drew closer, I began to hope it would slow down. Just a bit.

》

Harry and I rowed across the great big lake; our classmates spread out in their own canoes. Surprisingly, we cooperated. But I only think so because of how silent he was. I admired the view as much as I could as we both stroked back and forth with our own individual paddles, looking up at the bright blue sky with scattered clouds.

The sun doing its job, making it blazing hot out; I felt quenched and looked around for my water bottle I brought along with me. I look over at Harry, seeing his focus set down at his lap as he rowed silently with his paddle.

I felt like saying something. But I didn't know what. So I left him alone from the moment we woke up. Doubtful he'd ever come and talk to me first, I brushed it off completely.

I began to feel my throat dry up.

"Hey, Harry, can you-"

"Ray, I really don't wanna talk about what happened back there," He cut me off, hastily as he continued to row.

I sat there, dumbfounded. Where the hell did that come from?

"Uh... Actually, I was gonna ask for my water bottle that rolled by your foot."

Harry raised a confused brow, looking down at where I was pointing then looked back up at me in embarrassment. His cheeks flaming red as he grabbed my water bottle and passed it to me, refusing to make eye contact.

I unscrewed the bottle slowly, still feeling taken back. I stop, just barely loosening the bottle cap as I look at Harry obscurely. "Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it?"

Harry gives me this odd look of disapproval before grumbling in response, "I'm sure."

I only nod, removing the cap and taking a swig of the water. The feeling of relief was so riveting, I nearly lost my stability, the bottle slipping out of my hands and spilling all over me.

"Shit!" I scrambled to grab the bottle as it fell from my grip, rolling around in the small canoe, having it rock back and forth as I tried not to knock us over onto the lake, only to be completely disappointed when I pick it up with barely an inch left in the bottle.

"Jesus, Ray, you nearly knocked us over!" Harry shouted, "We could've soaked-" He stops when he takes a look at me. I figured he noticed I'd been glaring at him, however, when he eyes were lower beneath mine, I glance down only to see my once white t-shirt was now a dark and very see through wet t-shirt.

I cross my arms over my chest. Harry shaking his head and looking up at me.

"You guys and boobs," I scoffs.

"I didn't mean to look," Harry muttered, continuing to stroke.

"Yeah, you clearly meant to stare," I reply, "Whatever, nothing you haven't seen before." I remove my arms from covering my chest, grabbing my paddle and stroking, as well. I just wanted to get back to the cabin already.

Time went on, and the more we stroked, the more I felt the sexual tension kick in between us. Even after the whistle blew to head back, only the tension was rising.

Each time I leaned forward, Harry leaned back, and when I leaned back, Harry leaned forward. And as he did so, his eyes would be set right back on my chest. And the more he lent forward, each lean became closer and closer.

Though I would've been offended, I couldn't help my sexual frustrations from feeling flattery towards Harry's ogling eyes. I was loving the feeling of having his eyes set on me... Well, on my body, per sé.

I couldn't tell whether or not he was really into it. It was hard to tell through his cargo pants.

Out of all the days since we began high school, Harry has never worn anything less tighter than his incredibly negative five hundred sized skinny jeans, making his little friend stand out loud and proud, even in those skin tight jeans. How he does it, I will never know. Though it does amaze me, that I can admit.

But the day I actually want to see him up and at 'em, Harry wears pants making it impossible for him to be seen, whatsoever.

By the time we made it back, I took off into the cabin. Feeling the water suddenly begin to go cold on my chest, I shivered as I struggled to change out of it.

Harry barged in as soon as I pulled my shirt down. I turned to him, seeing him scratch the back of his neck as he looked around the room and sat down on my bunk.

I ruffled my hair after releasing it from its low bun and picked it up into a high ponytail before leaning back onto the dresser across from him, arms crossed over my chest.

"Look, I didn't wanna say anything. But I feel like what happened earlier is literally eating away at you."

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, as his gaze remained towards the ground. "What makes you say that?"

"Harry, for Christ sake, you can't even look at me!" I point out, "If I'd known you didn't want this to happen, I'd have stopped you."

"But you clearly wanted it to happen."

"We're teenagers, we get hormonal! It's life! Besides, all we did was kiss. And I'm glad that's all we did," I tell him honestly.

"You are?" He asks conspicuously, eyeing my obscurely, as if unsure whether he believed it; or if I even believed it myself.

"Of course. At least now I am."

"Why?"

"Because..." I suddenly grow embarrassed beneath his stare, "You probably would be even more ashamed to even look at me. Harry, I couldn't care less if you didn't look my way or even unacknowledged my existence. But this week is based on teamwork and it wouldn't make sense if you couldn't talk to me let alone look me in the eye."

Harry sighs, eyes set back on his feet.

"I just... I didn't want you to think that-"

"Think what?" I ask, and it instantly hits me. It was exactly what Mikaela and I predicted. "You thought I'd expect something from you, didn't you?" I don't even bother letting him answer, "Like what? A relationship? Harry, the last thing I want is a relationship, especially with someone like you. I'm sorry for being so harsh but it's the cold blatant truth."

He abruptly rose with an offended look, "Hey-"

"Don't even try to defend yourself, Harry. You know you'd never let your hypothetical daughter date someone like you, either, would you?"

He didn't say a word. Instead, he looked away from me and huffed.

"Look, whatever it is that's bothering you about what happened between us, we can just act like it never happened."

"But you wanted it to-"

"Because we're teenagers, Harry. We have needs. Sexual needs. We're human, we're no different from one another despite our yabos and all that."

Despite his angry demeanour, Harry managed to stifle out a small laugh at my choice of words, then went back to looking unsure.

"So you're saying, if it had gone farther, you wouldn't be expecting more from me?" He asks cautiously. It's clear to me he's never had a conversation like this with a girl before.

"Harry, it's just sex, it's not like you're asking for my hand in marriage in order to get into my pants."

"How are you so okay with this?"

I shrug, "I have morals, yeah, but at the same time, it's like, who cares? I can't explain it."

"Ray," Harry clears his throat as I hum in response, "Don't take this the wrong way but... You're not one of those sleeping around types of-"

"Types of people like yourself? No. Did you not just hear me say I have morals?" I try to joke.

"I'm just saying, you're taking this whole We should just have sex like its nothing topic really lightly. Like, if I were to suggest it, most girls would flip their shits."

"Reversed roles, baby, it's a whole new generation now!" I shout into the small room, arms out in exaggeration causing Harry to shake his head in the midst of a small laughter shared between us. "Look, I'm not saying I'm willing to offer this to just anyone. I've only ever done it once but, like men, women need to fulfill their sexual needs, as well. Some just aren't as open to it towards everyone like others are."

Harry sighs, rubbing his hands together and expression held a look as if deep in thought. "So basically, if we had sex, you'd expect nothing more from me?"

"Would you expect anything from me?"

"Ray, the last thing I ever expected from you was to offer sex. You're full of surprises at this point so I wouldn't know what to expect anymore," He laughs again.

"Harry, look," I change the subject, "I'm not saying Yes, take me right here, right now. But I mean, I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with. All I'm saying is, say we did, I wouldn't act weird about it. I'd just go about my day acting like nothing happened."

"Kind of like a strictly physical relationship?" He asks, hands dug into his pockets as he stood before me.

"That's one way of putting it, sure," I shrug.

"So is that what you'd want?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, is that what you'd want? A strictly physical relationship?"

"I mean, if I'd like one, sure. But only if my significant other were okay with it, of course."

"Say I was. Then what?" He asks, taking a step closer to me.

"Well," I gulp, the close proximity between us intimidating me. "I guess we'd have to start soon. See how'd it work out at first."

Harry takes another step, our face in close contact, lips just inches away as he towers over me against the dresser I had been leaning on since the conversation started.

"Then I guess we'd better get started."

+

don't judge Ray so quickly! you guys have only gotten to know her bitchy side, you've yet to know the real her for example the glimpse you saw of her in this chapter. don't!!! be!!! a!!! dick!!! to!!! her!!! ray is basically me in almost every aspect so the more you trash her, you're basically trashing me lmaO

love you guys sooooooo fucking much!!

- ky