Dear friends;

I love you all with the bottom of my heart. Each of you are the best brothers and sisters any person could ever have.

I would take my life to save yours.

But every now and then, I have a feeling. It nags at my soul.

But I will push it aside.

Until now.

Dear friends.

I cry myself to sleep at night, thinking about the truth of it all.

I love you all.

But sometimes I wonder.

Dear friends.

I have known some of you for years and years, but others of you not until a little while ago.

But I love you all equally, with every beat of my heart.

But I wonder.

Dear friends.

Some of you, we have never argued once before. Other's, we forget almost instantly.

But sometimes I wonder.

Dear friends.

We are all so different. Our likes, our personalities, we are so unlike each other.

Which is why we have so much fun.

But sometimes I wonder.

Dear friends.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

But sometimes I wonder.

Do you love me?

Dear friends.

When I am down or ill, you all brighten my day. You tell me things no one has ever said to me. You make me feel like I am someone.

But sometimes I wonder.

Do you love me?

I can share any secret with you. Any crush, any feeling, good or bad. I can trust you with my thoughts.

But sometimes I wonder.

Do you love me?

Dear friends.

We are the group. We are the clan. We stand by the same post every day for break. We sit at the same table every day for lunch. We nearly have every class together.

But sometimes I wonder.

Dear friends.

We are categorized as the smart ones. The nerds and the geeks combined. We are considered intelligent.

But dear friends.

Of our group, I am:

The idiot.

The blabber mouth.

The annoying one.

The obnoxious one.

The trouble maker.

Dear friends.

I am the one where whenever we are a group in class, I copy the answers to nearly every question. But I am the only one you seem to let me do it. I have the lowest grades of us all.

Why?

Dear friends.

I was almost the first one to our school. Ah, yes, in the first grade. I was only beaten by one year.

But out of all of us, I am the one who has not sense matured.

Why?

Dear friends.

When you invite me to your house, I wonder if you do it not to hurt my feelings to bring everyone but me to the fun. Just a polite act.

Why?

Dear friends.

I feel I am loud and unpleasant to listen to. The one who gets icing up their nose when its time for birthday cake. The one who gets louder when a video starts to play.

Why?

Dear friends.

I feel as if I am the rude one, who shows no curtsy for others when I am with you.

Why?

When I leave, you say I will be missed. When I love, you say you love me.

But sometimes I wonder.

Do you love me?

Sense the beginning, is it just you have taken my under your wings? Have you felt pity for me? Is this why you let me be with our group?

Without you, I am the kid the sits alone at lunch. The kid people pick on. The kid that people call weirdo. Idiot.

I believe them.

Why?

Dear friends.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for caring for me.

For so many years, I was alone.

But sometimes I wonder.

I feel I am the one who must walk fast to not be left behind.

I feel I am the one who must save her own seat.

I am the one who must leave you all.

Sometimes I wonder.

Do you feel relief I am gone?

Are you glad not to be of my presents?

Do you forget I was ever here?

Dear friends.

You may say I have thought wrong.

You may say that you love me.

You may say I am your friend.

But forever, I shall wonder.

Do you love me?