Mikki De'lucca

The blazing fire crackles across the room, filling the air with soft, smoky warmth..

Overhead, heavy rain patters on the tin roof and the wind outside howls as you lay entangled on the sofa.. Your fingertips lightly dance across the bruises The Cowboy wears upon his chest.. Those bruises that make your insides writhe with guilt now that you are confronted by them..

"Colt?" You whisper..

"Yessm?" He mumbles, half asleep beside you..

"Colt? Wake up.." You press, snuggling closer to his chest

"What's wrong?" He blinks bleary eyed as he cranes his neck towards you, his brow furrowed in concern..

"Does it hurt?" You pout sympathetically before leaning forward to gently kiss his purplish pec..

He chuckles, laying his head back down to close his eyes once again.. "Nah, Sugar.. Right now, I can't feel a damn thing.."

"Oh good.." You hum, continuing to watch him.. So gorgeous.. And so damn mysterious.. Colt Knox is impossible to read..

"Why are you looking at me like that.." He mumbles suspiciously, even though his eyes are closed, he somehow senses your gaze..

"Nothing.. I'm not-- I just--" You chew on the inside of your cheek, hesitant to reignite the argument.. "I want to know why--um-- why you didn't tell me about Savannah?"

He sighs, folding one arm up behind his head, your gaze tracks the lickable lines of the veins expanding over his swelling bicep.. "Mikki.. I wasn't-- I wasn't a good kid.. I fucked up.. I fucked up alot.." He shifts uncomfortably to create a distance between you.. "Back home-- most folk think exactly what you think.. That I'm the one who done something awful to her."

"I shouldn't have said that, Cowboy.. It wasn't fair of me.." If you could take back those hurtful words, you would.. But you can't.. You can't curb your curiosity either..

He pushes up to his elbows, tension creeping its way back into the room.. "I didn't kill her, Mikki.. But it is my fault she's gone.. It is.."

"How?" You follow, sitting up and reaching for the fuzzy fleece blanket, to wrap yourself up tightly..

"The night she went missing.. I--" He shakes his head.. "It's not important.. All that matters is I could have done things different.. I could've been better, hell, I SHOULD have been.." He swings his legs over the side of the sofa adjusting his briefs before standing and striding over to the fireplace, where he busies himself stoking the flames..

You push up to your feet, trailing after him, still swaddled in the checked blankets.. "No, Colt.. You're doing it again.. You're avoiding telling me anything real!.. Please, I don't want to make this a fight.."

He reaches out, leaning a palm against the mantle before closing his eyes on a deep thoughtful exhale, as if to calm himself.. "Mikki, Sugar.. I wish you'd let this one go.. I don't need you tryin' to get in my head, thinkin' you can fix me.. I ain't some charity case you can use to make yourself feel better for all the shit you've kept quiet about.."

Your mouth falls open in stunned disbelief at how quickly he turns the tables back on you, calling out your own less than honest behavior.. "Me?"

He straightens, absentmindedly cracking the knuckles of his right hand, followed quickly by his left.. "Yeah, you.. You're so fast to go digging into my past, but what kind've secrets have you been keeping, sweetheart? You show me yours, I'll show you mine.. Ain't that what they say?"

"You're such a fucking asshole sometimes.." You glare..

"I tried to tell ya.." He shrugs with indifference..

"You're so full of-- Actually, know what.. Fuck it.. I'm sick of this.." You huff, refusing to let him twist this all into an argument, just to avoid telling you the truth.. One of you needs to be brave and if its not going to be him, it has to be you.. "I will tell you my secrets, because unlike you, I'm not a total pussy.."

He laughs, a dry sarcastic bark.. "You're calling me a pussy?"

"You're the one acting like a scaredy-cat, so--" You fold your arms with a curt nod and a feline purr.. "Mewh.."

"Awh, Fuck off.." He scoffs, trying not to smirk..

"Oh, fuck you.." You snipe in return, fighting your own urges to grin..

You stare at each other for a long moment before he challenges.. "Ah-right.. Go on then.. Tell me, tough guy.."

You take a deep breath in preparation.. This isn't how you wanted to tell him.. You'd been hoping to explain yourself better.. You'd wanted to make him see sense in your crazy plan.. Instead, you blurt the truth tactlessly.. "The recent assassination attempt against Angelo De'lucca.. It was me.. I was responsible for it.. I've been trying to kill my father.."

The cowboy mockingly scrunches his nose up at you, almost as if he thinks you are joking.. "What?!"

But you aren't..

Your stomach squirms with shame and you feel the heat of embarrassment rising..

What will he say?

Is he going to hate you?

You can't stand not knowing..

"I'm serious, Colt.. That's why I went back.. Why I kept going back.. My husband is dead and my life is ruined because of that man and I wanted him dead.. That's how I met Oliver--he was going to help me--"

"He fuckin' what?" Colt shifts from stunned to stern at the mention of Oliver's involvement..

You sigh, padding back over to the sofa, this time it is The Cowboy's turn to follow you.. You sink into the cushions, suddenly feeling the fatigue of the days drama.. "He was going to help me.. We were going to use--"

"The Russian hitman.." He mutters to himself as he falls back to sit beside you.. "That's why your father wanted the extra security.."

"Yeah he--wait.. How did you know that? About the hitman?" You blink at him confused..

He hums.. "Because.. I came across a Bratva assassin when I went to meet your boyfriend--"

"Don't fucking call him that.." You growl..

"Fine.. Agent Reid.." He finishes..

"So, you lied to me when you said nobody was at that meeting?" You ask rhetorically, not needing his answer to know that he had lied..

Lied right to your face.. If he could lie about that, what else could he be not telling you?.. Your thoughts race to catch up..

Colt shrugs one shoulder coldly.. "I didn't know the two were connected, Sugar.. You didn't tell me that part.. Remember?"

You roll your eyes and click your tongue in dismissal.. "Tch.. Whatever.."

"So that's it? That's your big fuckin' secret? Revenge? Hell, Mikki.. You could'a just told me that from the start.. I could have done somethin'.. I could have-- Shit.." He drops his head into his hands frustratedly, taking a second to swallow his temper back down, resetting to a calmer demeanour.. "Does Angelo know?"

You shake your head.. "I don't think so.. But--like--maybe?.."

He scoffs.. "Fuck.. You could already be greenlit if he does.. Reid too.."

You nod as a strange sense of relief soothes you.. It feels so good to finally lift the weight of your secrets from your shoulders.. "He's in danger, Colt, if he isn't already dead.. I know it.. I've lived this enough times to know how this all goes.. Bobbi, Charlie, Vinny and Rocky's father.. Angelo didn't pull the trigger, but without him, they'd all still be here.. My father won't stop until somebody stops him.."

He tries to comfort you, reaching out he gently laces his fingers through yours.. "And you think it has to be you? Mikki, Sugar, you aren't responsible for--"

"It is my responsibility, Cowboy.. If I don't do something.. There are people I care about who are going to get hurt.. Vinny and Rocco, they're idiots, but I love them.. They're my family, Colt.. I can't let it go.. I just can't.."

He nods, squeezing your hand in his when he senses your urgency.. "Alright, Sweetness.. It's alright.. I can work with this.. We can fix it.."

'We' can fix it, he says..
Together..

Your chest squeezes tightly.. The fact that he isn't running for the hills because things have gotten complicated, would astound you.. Except, it doesn't.. Because that is what he promised you all along.. He was telling the truth when he told you he wanted to help..

Everything you thought you knew.. Everything you felt its affirmed in that moment..

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Cowboy.." Your heart flutters, your faith in him renewing as you lean against him, tucking you feet up underneath you on the sofa to cuddle up..

He hums.. "Probably get eaten by cougars.."

You giggle.. "Cougars don't actually eat people... Wait-- Do they?!.."

He chuckles.. "Aw mercy.. What the hell am I gonna do with you, Miss De'lucca?.."

You nuzzle against his warm, citrus scented skin as you tease.. "You'll just have to keep me hostage forever.."

"Hm.." He grunts distractedly, and you can't be sure you didn't say the wrong thing, immediately feeling silly for saying anything at all..

A minute of uncomfortable silence passes before he sighs and tenses..

"Colt?" You turn to peer up at him, surprised to see the conflict in his beautiful blue eyes.. "Is everything okay?"

"I told Savannah to meet me.. The night she disappeared.." He winces though the forced admission, as he shifts uncomfortably beside you..

You hold your breath, blinking at him unexpectedly.. You really aren't prepared to answer, so instead, you just nod..

"I was never going to show up.. She was just so dead-set on gettin' what she wanted, I'd had enough.. I let my frustration get the better of me and I thought-- if I fucked with her some-- she'd get the message that I wasn't interested.. Or I dunno.. For some stupid reason I figured her hating me would be better than whatever it was she was doin'.." He runs a hand back through his short flaxen locks, regret rolling right off him, emanating from his fallen shoulders..

"It's okay, Colt.." You pet his hand in yours, consoling the quiet Cowboy and encouraging him to continue..

"I don't know if someone took her.. If it was an accident.. If she did something to herself.. I don't know, because I never went to meet her.. She was just gone.. "

"It's not your fault.." You comfort gently..

He shrugs.. "Yeah well.. It sure as shit looked that way.. You know in a small town ain't nobody got nothin' better to do than talk.. And suddenly, all they wanted to talk about was me.. N' how I must've killed Savvie.. After a while, I couldn't take it no more.. So I up an enlisted, got the fuck out.."

You empathise so deeply.. "That's horrible, Colt I'm sorry.. I-- I understand how it feels to have nobody believe you.."

He smiles sadly.. "You sure do, Sugar.."

"I didn't mean what I said.. You know that right? I think you're-- well--I like you, Cowboy.." You blush, feeling silly for use of the word like.. Mostly because it really doesn't do justice to your feelings..

In truth, you more than just like him..

You care about him.. In a way you didn't think you would ever be capable of again..

He leans back, shaking off the seriousness, clearly wanting to be done discussing Savannah.. "You couldn't possibly be that stupid Miss Mikki.. I mean, it's possible, cus you're pretty n' all--" He teases, playfully reminding you of words you had taunted him when you'd first met..

"Oh my god! You're the actual fucking worst!" You fling a pillow at him, smacking him in the face..

He laughs, a rich rumbling of joy that tickles your ears.. "Hey now.. That's not the tune you were singin' a few minutes ago, Sugar.."